Posts by Graham Lockley

Seagate preps three terabyte whopper

@AC 18:37

"Haven't even come close to filling the 250Gig one I have"

I've got 3.5 Tb disk space two thirds full.... whats your secret ?

Apple said to order 24 million iPhone 4Gs

Is it true ?

Rumour has it that it will include the the new 'Vinosity' middleware for turning water into wine. You read it here first folks.

William Shatner to star in Twitter-inspired TV show

Title ? Mr.

Shatner and Twitter, now theres a combo that will ensure I never turn my television on ever again. All it needs to make it perfect is to be produced by Murdochs Fox channel and only broadcast on Sky.

Waterstone's whips out its pendulous dugs

you want a title? you got one

Waterstones = Books

Books = serif typeface

Logo = Playmobile

I'm sure readers more intelligent than me can resolve that equation.

Apple prices up iPad for UK

the news is ?

Overpriced bling hits Uk stores...and now the weather

Pioneer puts Pandora Radio in your car

Meh

<Android-phone owners and others need not apply>

In other words the majority of the western world......

Doesnt seem a great selling point to me.

Google uncloaks the Nexus One

Uhh?

<Hope HTC have improved their reliability, a friend went through 3 HTC smartphones before getting a 3GS.>

Odd, I'm on my third HTC phone. Trouble is thats over the last 7 or 8 years and each one is still working perfectly. As our merkin lawyer friends insist 'your experience may vary' but mine is very positive with regards to HTC.

Tories swallow Web 2.0, spit out £1m crowdsource prize

Burn 'em

<produce a website that can "harness the wisdom" of voters to "resolve difficult policy challenges".>

The wisdom of voters ? Are they the same ones with the torches and pitchforks that hang around castles in the old Hammer horror films ? Or the ones that claim an old woman turned them into a newt (I got better though).

Looks like under the Tories we can expect illegal immigrants to hung,drawn and quartered (lets return to traditional methods) and dole scroungers being forced to build roads etc.

The Monster Raving Loony Party start to look more attractive every day.

Microsoft pimps bogus Windows 7 'launch parties'

@AC Oh dear... #

Jeez, you sound almost normal, what are you doing commenting on an El Reg story ?

100% agree with you and if I can be classed as any sort of boi then its MS's shilling I have taken (after many experiments with Apple, Linux etc.).

Huge 'vampyrus' bats being hunted to extinction

Only on El Reg

Can I be educated about the exact compostion of Guano.

Whatever, pass me the Reggae Reggae sauce someone, this wing needs a bit of spice <JOKE>

US music publishers sue online lyrics sites

Not just lyrics

They have shut down a few tabs sites with legal threats.

For those who dont know, tabs are bass/guitar music tablature, enthusiasts work out chords/bass lines etc. for songs and post them up for free. Most have small errors and are not 100% true to the original but are a good starting point for working out a song. A couple of good sites have closed recently after legal threats, pure madness.

Guns N' Roses blogger dodges time in slammer

Bored

So a crap faux rock outfit gets some awful shite leaked on the net prior to the albums release. The guy should get PAID for warning the world about how 'uninteresting' the music is.

TANJ

Boffin calculates cash value of memories

Oh Yes

<- watching Thatcher leave Downing st crying>

Put it on Fleabay and theres a tenner of my money coming your way :)

Serena Software to pick over Borland's remains

How sad...

...to see a once great and innovative company having its bones picked over by the vultures (with all due respect to El Reg)

Lamson - email app coding without the palm sweat

Concerned

I'm more than a little worried/concerned about the writers choice for an example of a mailing list. I suspect there's a little too much info ......

Vodafone said to be mulling T-Mobile UK bid

Aw Sh*t

Was looking forward to going back to TM when my current contract expires with the bunch of incompetent t*ssp*ts and thieves that use a fruity name to distinguish themselves expires. I hope TM stay away from Voda et al coz they are the only company not to have p*ssed me off by their incompetence or greed.

Apple fans targeted by smut-punting malware

@ chewy

>So a few mac noobs get malware, who cares. Move along nothing to see here

I agree except...

Most reports of malware could be dismissed in the same fashion. Its the noobs and simpletons that account for 90% of infections regardless of the OS involved,Mac noobs have it worse because everyone tells them how trouble-free and secure Macs are.

Oh my Abbey account needs verifying again ? Thats the 10th time today, when will they remember my number and password and stop bothering me.

Vodafone Magics up a little Google glitter

Reliable for me

Had four HTC devices over the last 6-7 years and only one had hardware probs. That was a dodgy mini USB connector that stopped the phone from charging, but it was nearly three years old when it occured and didnt stop me using the phone (picked up a seperate battery charger unit).

No problem with HTC here, problem is always with the dodgy outfit that sells you the phone (yes *range I'm looking at you, you bunch of robbing incompetent tw*t$)

Deleted Tweets found living in the hereafter

Not here

>Twitterers who got duped into revealing their "porn star name," etc.

Any scammer/spammer/hacker who can guess anything from my 'porn star name' is a bloody genius !

So guys say hello to Noddy Hill, not used for a username or password ANYWHERE.

Not much of a porn name either really :(

Ricoh CX1

Depressing

How long before I turn my camera on and send it out for walk to take a picture of anything that interests it ?

Automation surely has its limits ? Next mode will be 'party mode', switch to this and the camera will check alcohol levels and refuse to take a pic if you are more than three times over the limit.

Blu-ray Disc added to UK shopping basket

@Pete

Seems we are different demographics, I know two people with blu-rays and they are both PS3's. On the other hand, everyone else I know has a DVD player and buys or rents films regularly. IMHO blu-ray is still a few years from common acceptance. it will happen but its not there yet.

Sadville transports shaggers to porncentration camp

Still there ?

>Second Life still going? Well stone me!

Words may be different but thats my reaction, thought SL had died ages ago. Maybe i should reinstall the client and see if its any more inviting now...

Nah, theres more real life in UserNet !

Fanbois will abandon iPhone for Palm, says Wikisugardaddy

Shame

I really fancied a Pre then along comes a tosser like this making dumb statements that will make anything less than stellar sales seem like a failure. Lets hope a little common sense prevails when it launches.

Google finally gives self Web2.0rhea

Idiot Alert

"So, fast forward to today. What's the most important and quickly growing form of search on the web today? Real time, conversational search. And who's the YouTube of real time search? Yep. Twitter."

Except that YouTube grew its user base by word of mouth and delivered a highly varied diet of user generated and copyrighted entertainment. Twitter gives us b-grade celebs and their description of coffee in Starbucks or sub-Blogger grade meanderings. The biggest difference is that everybody I know is aware of YouTube and know what they will find there, hardly any have heard of Twitter and even fewer know what its about.

And I would love to see the statistics for his claim ' the most important and quickly growing form of search on the web', I suspect they may not be available.

Mobile phones to get universal charger

<insert pithy title here>

Surely its more a case of Apple finding it harder to adopt the micro-USB port ? A switch to that would kill off the small industry of i-plugins that has grown up around the Pod/Phone socket ?

>Using a micro-USB cable, the current iPhone charger, having a USB socket, is already able to charge any mobile phone conforming to this new standard.

But not the other way round, i-whatevers cant be charged by industry-standard chargers which is surely the point of the piece ?

I'm sure Apple will eventually fall into line but it will simply take a little longer.

Nokia N85 smartphone

@dream phone

>size, shape and weight of nokias 3315, but it would have more memory for messages, phone book, as well let me listen to mp3s or fm radio

Sounds like the Siemens SL45 would be your ideal phone then. First MP3 player/phone I ever owned, a real jewel of a phone with removable storage. Way ahead of its (2001) time, shame Siemens seemed to lose the plot a little after that :(

Man robs convenience store with Klingon sword

Whuh ?

>traditional Klingon crescent-shaped blade

So now ficticious races have traditions ?

Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)

Outsourcing suddenly less popular

Woah !

>but India will retain its lead in the near future due to its many advantages, including language, talent and experience,

I cant and wont decry Indian talent but language ?? With all due respect to the people of India, one of the reasons I loathe using some of our tech help systems is because they dont understand me or I dont understand them ! I have seen experienced people spend more time on a job trying to muddle through rather than phone India. Yeah, great cost saving.

Apple threatens Palm chomp

To be fair

As the article states these are only patent applications and there is no suggestion that Apple would try to (or even could) enforce them if they were granted.

@Gary Bickford

I stand and applaud your comments, real innovation has been stifled in recent years because of patent greed. Invented something radical ? Sorry but our company patented a vague description of it last year (well actually we bought the company that did actually have a vague idea)

Meh

TV's digital dividend could be superfast broadband

Why ?

Why do most of the people involved in these high speed fibre/wireless etc. visions only see Television Mark 2 as the probable use ? With all the available channels out there its still nearly impossible to find something decent to watch outside of the five 'terrestrial' channels so why do they think this crap streamed in HD down fibre is going to be any more inviting ? Actually finding anything of worth in the five main channels is hard enough. Of course with all that bandwidth we will be able to have interactive TV as in 'Choose which camera you want to watch BB from'

Meh

Hitachi highlights gesture-controlled HD TV

Bloody Great Idea

For most of the couch potatoes I know it would double the calories burned in a day waving their arms like that ! Which is why it wont take off until they develop the 'slight twitching of the finger' version :)

Palm Pré WebOS: the UI in action

Dont give a damn about the iPhone

... like a lot of people here I've a huge soft spot for Palm (well three to be precise) and that device is reminding me why I loved my old monochrome Palms. In 12 months time I will be able to escape the pile of dog turd that is *r*nge and hopefully a decent carrier will have picked this up in the UK (hell, even Voda would be OK by me). That device punches so many 'right' buttons with me I cant wait.

Virgin Galactic leases itself a spaceport

Who the hell is Figrin D'an ?

Ok, did a search and it seems he is Steely's h'alf brother.

(no, I didnt really know who he/it was until the Almighty Wiki came to my aid)

Mac Tablet/Mega iPod Touch due fall 2009 who knows when

@Jake

>Friends don't let friends buy pre-roasted, much less pre-brewed coffee.

A neophyte bows before a master

:)

@Andrew Langhorn

Dont use the phrase 'coffee-loving' in the same breath as St*rb*cks ! For gods sake, they dont even serve Lavazza !!

El Reg's first coffee based flame war, bring it on !!!

:)

<Im not religious about anything except coffee>

t'Internet Tablet

How many of these have we seen ?

With the current BeJaysusPhone interface Apple could have a good stab at it but looking at the long list of (admirable) failures would they want to try ?

Maybe His Jobsness has half an eye on the current laptot fad, it could work if connectivity is sorted.

Larger device than an iPhone would make tw*t spotting a lot easier as you walk by your local St*rb*cks tho :)

Mines the asbestos lined one.

iPhone 3G unlocker released on schedule

Big chunk of troll fodder (with fries) served up

@(cowardly)AC

Look at all the friendless wonders getting up early every morning to go running/swimming etc. in the hope that they may win a race........

Now get a dictionary and look up the word 'challenge'

Getting a glimmer yet ?

French get iPhones everywhere

@Ross Fleming

>The only reason I can see for people being gleeful is that they secretly want an iPhone

Umm, no. As a piece of hardware the jury is (very much) out. As a phone interface, yes Apple have worked hard (not to my tastes but Im not everyone) and done a reasonable job. The big fail for me (and a lot of other folk I know) is the fact that you dont OWN one. You have to get apps through the Appstore and Apple push 'upgrades' out to 'owners'(who wants to p*ss about jailbreaking every few months). A lot of the irritation with Apples wunderkind is the handcuffs that go with it.

Will be interesting to see just how 'network free' these phones are, will the Appstore still be the only place ?

Microsoft eyes metered-PC boondoggle

They have to find SOME way of making money

Vista tanked so where do they go next ?

Yeah we can all get uppity about how there are alternatives to MS but when push comes to shove, MS are (shock, horror) a corporation. This means they have to look for revenue streams and, as many of us have realised, the desktop OS market is not the gravy train it once was. This patent is less absurd than Apples recent 'swipe interface' patent but only just.

Should be interesting to see just how MS spin this out, epic fail or steady stream ? Im betting on the former :)

Boffins bust web authentication with game consoles

Amusing

So we finally find out that 90% of PS3 sales are to hackers :~)

Dont flame me, I dont even own a console !

iPhone gets Hong Kong eye transplant

Why ?

Why is there no comment about polishing a turd yet ?

No, sheeple, Im not referring to your plastic god, its a reference to the poor quality of 90% of so called cameras fitted to ALL mobile phones.

The Mac OS 10.5.6 update saga continues

Whut ? Where ?

>So lets stop the baiting eh, and turn our attention to a group of users who really do deserve our scorn.... Acorn fanboys.

You saw one ? In the wild ?

Its Global Warming I tell ya, its disrupted their breeding patterns so badly that they are as rare as AmigaFanBois nowadays. At least you can coax the odd AmigaFanBoi out of the bushes by cooing 'Blitter' every once in a while.

Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts

@Andrew Taylor

>boycott both and buy the Terry Wogan / Aled Jones version of Little Drummer Boy

If anything will raise my venom levels higher than X-Whatever its the mention of the W***** word. Lets all all argue about the definitive version of a rather depressing dirge (I do like Cale and Buckleys versions BTW) but lets not descend into complete mindless mediocrity by bring that Irish tw*t into the debate.

Applers howl over Mac OS fix

So many AC's

>How many times has a security patch in Windows borked the system? More than I care to remember...

Depends on how you define borked ? If you mean 'unbootable' then in all the systems I look after the answer is never. Borked as in loss of functionality, yeah it happens.

Patches to any OS result in unexpected side effects/glitches, no one here would disagree. The main irony in this case is Apples (oft repeated by its more zealous consumers) tag line that 'It just works'.

Your comment about 'smoking Ballmers pole' has more than a hint of fanboi about it. Smell the coffee, its a computer with an OS designed by humans and errors/bugs WILLoccur.

Attack of the quarter-ton, 'fridge-sized' killer jellyfish

Thanks a bloody bunch !

All this talk of blancmange has given me the munchies ! And can you get your local takeaway to do a late night strawberry blancmange ? Course not so Im doomed to go off to bed dreaming of pink wobbly things :(

Paris for obvious reasons

LG KF300 budget clamshell phone

Some nice points

The white on black keypad font has a nice retro look about it and I can see this being a possible Xmas gift for my 72 year old mother. Shame its (currently) only available from those cutpurses at Orange at the moment, if it gets released with a decent mobe company then i will consider a purchase.

Oh sh*t.. I used the m*be word, apologies to everyone :)

Nintendo sells metric %#@&-load of Wiis in November

So this tells us ?

Nintendo sold shedloads (non metric) to non gamer households, 360 sold quite a few to gamers and PS3 sold a few to confused punters looking for a Blu-Ray player.

This is news ?

iPhone gets virtual Windows desktop

@ac (coward) and Jessica Werkz

>What is great is the choice of apps available for the iPhone now

Umm... have a look around, the iPhone is WAY behind the times in terms of application breadth

>Get a life, get a phone that always works

Once again I seem to have been sold a dud, it JUST WORKS.

And I dont have to sign up to The Church just to be able to install the apps I want. I dont want to have to ask MS's permission to install stuff and I dont have to, I OWN this phone.

Meh, bloody sheeple.

<This post powered by Old Speckled Hen>

@Jessica Werkz

>unlike those poor critters who have phones that run Windows - crash - Mobile - crash - natively on them..

Strange, I have been using an HTC Diamond for the last 4 months and it hasnt crashed once ? This is despite using it to run Memory Map and Tomtom (and a load of other apps/hacks). Oh but of course neither of those apps are available on a *superior* platform (along with a whole lot more).

Get real FFS, lose the 'Microshaft' attitude !

American 'football' goes 3D

Ignorance

>and the son of Art Modell, the Raven's owner from 1996 to 2004

Even the dreaded Wiki can supply better info than that ! Art Modell owned a team called the Browns and the name was changed after they left Cleveland, which means he owned the team slightly longer than suggested.

I love FOOTBALL (as played over the pond) but even I cant find much enthusiasm for the game mentioned, the Bolts should have no trouble with the lame Raiders.