back to article Man robs convenience store with Klingon sword

Colorado Springs police are on the lookout for a man who attempted to rob two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday with a Klingon bat'leth sword. The first robbery was reported at about 2:00 AM after a man described as wearing a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans entered the store brandishing the traditional …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    What a...

    ...p'tach!

  2. Some Guy

    True Provenance of the Sword

    Actually, I believe the sword was created sometime in the 1980s for a TV show. (on Earth!)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe he just wanted a Cornish pastie and some Blutack

    with which to complete his outfit

  4. Graham Lockley

    Whuh ?

    >traditional Klingon crescent-shaped blade

    So now ficticious races have traditions ?

    Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)

  5. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    The suspect was described...

    ... as looking like Bill Bailey with a cornish pasty on his forehead....

  6. Wolf
    Alien

    A bat'leth is still long, heavy, and sharp

    Anyone hit with one would be just as unhappy (or dead) as if hit with a saber or katana. Of course a bat'leth should be *easy* to trace... :)

  7. Wolf
    Happy

    On further reflection...

    I don't know which is sadder. The fact somebody actually used a bat'leth to commit a robbery, the fact that *two* different victims knew what it was, or the fact that *I* know what it is! (laughing)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @david

    It is spelt petaQ in English.

    One of those links has a CCTV picture, that is not a proper bat'leth. A proper one is 112cm long, not arm length like that (based on its design and intended fighting style, a very short one like that would not be much if any use)

  9. The Cube
    Alert

    The convenience store Pastie is more dangerous

    I have a Bat'leth, in amongst a small collection of weapons, of both real and fictitious origin and frankly most of those available are about as dangerous as the rubbery props used in the show. I would be substantially more worried about the life threatening nature of being forced to eat, or headbutted with, a 7-eleven pastie than being attacked with most of the Bat'leth's out there.

  10. James Condron

    @Graham Lockley

    Fictional. Fictional. Fictional.

    As in, to do with fiction. Fictitious means fake, false or a lie. This is to do with fiction- this makes it fictional.

    Well done, though, for using a word to sound cool in your anti Star Trek/ Star Wars crusade, I think we know the true hit with the ladies....

    Now piss off and read BBC News where the big bad comment button can't tempt you.

  11. Colin Mitchell
    Dead Vulture

    Warp the hell!

    Where is the IT angle here except Reg seems to think all are Trekkie nerds cause we use a computer

    More stories about WoW please

  12. Andrew george
    Boffin

    He should be easy to find

    All the police need to do is ask every family in a 4 mile radius if their Son lives in the basement

  13. mike
    Thumb Down

    lame

    real klingons draw blood. i'm suprised the idiot didn't get shot trying to rob a convenience store at 2am.

    s&w 642j w/ crimson trace ftw!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @Graham Lockley

    "Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)"

    There is no difference between Jedi as a religion and Christianity (etc).

    - All are fictitious

    - All were written by men

    - All have followers, some who truly believe and some who just like to participate

    [stows Lightsabre]

  15. Neoc

    Lack of knowledge

    What is surprising is the number of people who still think the Bat'leth, like many so-called "alien" weapons on various shows, is *no*t a perfectly Human martial-arts blade that has been "embellished". So the Police may not be looking for a Trekkie (and I use the word advisedly) down on his luck, but possible someone who mail-ordered Martial-Art weapons from a catalogue.

    And it is not a sword - if anything, it is closer to a double hand-axe configuration.

  16. SonofRojBlake
    Thumb Down

    Wrong, wrong, wrong.

    It's not a bat'leth. Bat'leth's are BIG. That thing he's holding in the footage is clearly not a sword, it's very obviously one of the novelty daggers you can get from pretty much any anorak-supplier.

    e.g. http://www.swordsdirect.com/valdris.html

    The other thing about bat'leths is this: they're actually quite hard to get. Most of the accurate ones you see are home-made, as Paramount (quite sensibly) hasn't licensed anyone to produce accurate bat'leths for fear, one assumes, of precisely this kind of story. I doubt this numpty bothered to build his own weapon for what seems to be an opportunist crime.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sharp piece of metal

    If its a sharp piece of metal it can hurt, damage and kill a human as we are not made of metal or other stabb and general beating proof material. It dosent matter what you call it or how bad it would be in a real combat situation against an armoured and armed opponant. Sharp metal Vs. Squichy human? i do belive the sharp metal will win more often than not.

  18. Ru
    Pirate

    Why on earth did he choose one of those?

    i mean, its a particularly stupid design of weapon, unwieldy and unbalanced. Surely there are non-retarded fictional weapons he could have chosen?

  19. Steve Lubman
    Thumb Up

    Priceless

    "He's probably a huge hit with the ladies."

    You have outdone yourselves again!

    Long live the Register!

  20. Norfolk Enchants Paris

    What?

    I'm no Trekkie but I always thought that like Star Trek was in the future, and that the Klingons were advanced. So why would they use swords anyway?

    Stupid idea.

  21. Sweep

    @ "Lack of knowledge"

    There's a reason the blade looks kind of "alien", it is *no*t a perfectly Human martial-arts blade and i reckon anyone actually trying to use one outside a TV show would be much more likely to damage themselves than a convenience store clerk. Unless they're a Klingon, natch.

  22. Smallbrainfield
    Coat

    Typical Klingon moron.

    If he'd just taken a type-2 phaser and stunned the clerk, he could have opened the till at his leisure and taken out the security cameras too.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Meh

    For serious work of this type nothing less than a Romulan cloaking device is sine qua non.

  24. Steve John

    Didn't think...

    ... that 7-Elevens sold Gagh and Blood Wine

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Graham Lockley

    Klingon is a fictitious race by all your definitions.

    "fake" - Check.

    "false" - Check.

    "a lie" - Ah, what is a fiction if not a lie?

    Now fuck off back to your sad geek cave, which is no doubt replete with ladies.

    "Kahless the Unforgettable" the cycling fanatic or the one who didn't look where he was going?

  26. Michael
    Coat

    Who cares...

    if it was a ba'leth or a 'normal' martial arts sword? Both are just as sharp and I think the klingon weapon will do some serious maiming!

    Mines the one with the phaser set to maximum yield in the pocket!

  27. Liam

    hmmmm

    @ "Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)"

    some of us athiests did it to wind up the C of E.

    i mean come on, jediism is more of a religion that scientology ever will be and hass more relevance than christianity or islam or any of the horrible religions. buddhism is about the only decent one

  28. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Slow news day?

    It doesn't even have the minimal eye-candy content required to waive the tech angle! In fact, how long has it been since we had a Paris Hilton story, has the girl gone into hibernation?

  29. Paul Westerman
    Coat

    A Warrior's Drink

    He only wanted to know where the prune juice was!

  30. Rob Crawford
    Coat

    Oh

    Kahless the Unforgettable, damn I forgot about him

  31. Beelzeebub
    Flame

    Furthermore on religion

    Some more observations, they:-

    - Use human creduluous followers as cash cows

    - allow (or have in the past allowed) slaughter of non members

    - hold back the course of human development

    gets coat, awaits flames

  32. Nick G
    Coat

    Not a Bat'leth...

    Deffo not a Bat'leth: it's not big enough & curves the wrong way. (heard that somewhere before...)

    Mines the anorak obviously...

  33. Luis Ogando
    Stop

    Blaster

    T'cho! Hokey religions and bat'leth battle blades are no substitute for a good blaster at your side....

    ...no, wait a sec...

  34. ElFatbob

    oh ffs...

    i mean who really f*ckin cares about the details of a 'bat'leth'.

  35. Al
    Joke

    There's a Wildean irony here

    If for no other reason than someone who should get out more, may yet end up being put away.

  36. Anonymous Scotsman

    @ Furthermore on religion

    I think your definition needs a slight revision, as Steve Jobs doesn't qualify one one count.

    or at least as far as we know.

  37. Ben Rosenthal

    JonB

    were you savaged by a rabid trekkie as a small boy?

    you're really angry over nothing at all.

    Cut down on the caffeine young man.

  38. Alan Fisher

    ahem

    "he demanded three dozen out of date Cornish pasties to complete his look"

    I know, I know but someone had to say it!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Klingon vs Paris Hilton,

    Ok Reg Vote time,

    Do we want

    A. More stories about a scantily clad Paris Hilton ?

    B. More stories about Star Trek and Trekkies ?

    Let the people vote !..

  40. Tawakalna
    Thumb Up

    fled on foot?

    wot no transporter harmonic trace for the Federation ship in orbit around early 21stC Earth to detect?

    hmmm, I smell a breach of the Temporal Prime Directive on the way. Transparent aluminium is already here so what other technology from the 24thC might we be seeing soon?

    my ears are stuck :(

  41. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Klingon vs Paris Hilton,

    Vote all you like. We'll take it as seriously as the government takes those online petitions.

  42. Riscyrich
    Thumb Up

    @ Rob Crawford

    You owe me a new keyboard, mine is now full of coffee and spit ...

  43. Huw Davies

    @Sarah Bee

    Are you trying to say the government doesn't take them seriously? I'm shocked!

  44. Steven Burn
    Thumb Up

    @Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 5th February 2009 11:10 GMT

    Definately more about Star Trek ....... I'm sick to death of PH

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    ODFO

    Won't somebody please think of the poor 7-Eleven employees, they should be armed with non-leatal weapons such as a zat'ni'katel

  46. Yorkshirepudding
    Coat

    Qapla

    now wouldnt it have been amusing if the clerk had had a phased plasma rifle?

    40watt range of course

    mines the one with the klingon dictionary in

  47. Matt W

    Paris Hilton Vs. Klingon

    There's only one way to tell.....FIGHT !

  48. Lottie
    Coat

    Think of the children!!

    I think this is exactly the reason we and america need to join forces and ban extreme sci-fi. Obviously, this fella watched one too many episodes of stra trek and it made.. nay, forced him to commit these crimes.

    Why won't someone think of the kiddies?

    Mines the one with the mr fusion instructions in the pocket.

  49. david wilson

    To be honest...

    ...even a Trekkie armed with some fake fictional weaponry could be scary.

    Someone daring to say

    "Is that a *real* Klingon sword-thingy, or just a plastic replica?"

    would be in danger of being bored to death by the reply.

  50. Law
    Flame

    mmmmm.... coffee

    "Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee"

    Non-holo coffee... is that a new starbucks blend??

    Mines the one with the replicated 20th century nescafe gold blend....

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    How sad...

    ... if you want a fictious weapon then you should be buying a full blown replica of a Marine Assault Rifle as first sported in Aliens, even has a working digital rounds left clock.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Where's Kodos when you need him

    So much cynicism and anger in such a short list of comments.

    I'll have to second the ODFO.

  53. Neoc

    Poor Zathras

    Always, always ends bad for Zathras. But Zathras not mind, no.

  54. Pierre
    Coat

    Definitely NOT a bat'leth

    ... which means it might have been a usable weapon, and should be taken seriously. If it had been a bat'leth, the offender would probably have been beaten to death by a 5-yo tetraplegic kid (possibly wearing a blindfold). As sharp as it might be, the, erm, "traditional Klingon weapon" is as dangerous as the lightsaber I bought from W*ll-M*rt last week. No wield=no velocity=superficial cuts at most (if your opponent is naked). Plus the absolute lack of balance of the thing makes it a tiresome bitch of a weapon to handle (even as a defensive weapon). The only remotely "dangerous" versions are the rubber replicas. Klingons might be fierce warriors, but they sure are brain-dead when it comes to weapon design.

    Mine is the one with the chainwhip and the warhammer.

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