Man robs convenience store with Klingon sword

Colorado Springs police are on the lookout for a man who attempted to rob two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday with a Klingon bat'leth sword. The first robbery was reported at about 2:00 AM after a man described as wearing a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans entered the store brandishing the traditional …

[Anonymous Coward]

What a...

...p'tach!

[Some Guy]

True Provenance of the Sword

Actually, I believe the sword was created sometime in the 1980s for a TV show. (on Earth!)

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe he just wanted a Cornish pastie and some Blutack

with which to complete his outfit

[Graham Lockley]

Whuh ?

>traditional Klingon crescent-shaped blade

So now ficticious races have traditions ?

Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)

[Graham Marsden]

The suspect was described...

... as looking like Bill Bailey with a cornish pasty on his forehead....

[Wolf]

A bat'leth is still long, heavy, and sharp

Anyone hit with one would be just as unhappy (or dead) as if hit with a saber or katana. Of course a bat'leth should be *easy* to trace... :)

[Wolf]

On further reflection...

I don't know which is sadder. The fact somebody actually used a bat'leth to commit a robbery, the fact that *two* different victims knew what it was, or the fact that *I* know what it is! (laughing)

[Anonymous Coward]

@david

It is spelt petaQ in English.

One of those links has a CCTV picture, that is not a proper bat'leth. A proper one is 112cm long, not arm length like that (based on its design and intended fighting style, a very short one like that would not be much if any use)

[The Cube]

The convenience store Pastie is more dangerous

I have a Bat'leth, in amongst a small collection of weapons, of both real and fictitious origin and frankly most of those available are about as dangerous as the rubbery props used in the show. I would be substantially more worried about the life threatening nature of being forced to eat, or headbutted with, a 7-eleven pastie than being attacked with most of the Bat'leth's out there.

[James Condron]

@Graham Lockley

Fictional. Fictional. Fictional.

As in, to do with fiction. Fictitious means fake, false or a lie. This is to do with fiction- this makes it fictional.

Well done, though, for using a word to sound cool in your anti Star Trek/ Star Wars crusade, I think we know the true hit with the ladies....

Now piss off and read BBC News where the big bad comment button can't tempt you.

[Colin Mitchell]

Warp the hell!

Where is the IT angle here except Reg seems to think all are Trekkie nerds cause we use a computer

More stories about WoW please

[Andrew george]

He should be easy to find

All the police need to do is ask every family in a 4 mile radius if their Son lives in the basement

[mike]

lame

real klingons draw blood. i'm suprised the idiot didn't get shot trying to rob a convenience store at 2am.

s&w 642j w/ crimson trace ftw!

[Anonymous Coward]

@Graham Lockley

"Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)"

There is no difference between Jedi as a religion and Christianity (etc).

- All are fictitious

- All were written by men

- All have followers, some who truly believe and some who just like to participate

[stows Lightsabre]

[Neoc]

Lack of knowledge

What is surprising is the number of people who still think the Bat'leth, like many so-called "alien" weapons on various shows, is *no*t a perfectly Human martial-arts blade that has been "embellished". So the Police may not be looking for a Trekkie (and I use the word advisedly) down on his luck, but possible someone who mail-ordered Martial-Art weapons from a catalogue.

And it is not a sword - if anything, it is closer to a double hand-axe configuration.

[SonofRojBlake]

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

It's not a bat'leth. Bat'leth's are BIG. That thing he's holding in the footage is clearly not a sword, it's very obviously one of the novelty daggers you can get from pretty much any anorak-supplier.

e.g. http://www.swordsdirect.com/valdris.html

The other thing about bat'leths is this: they're actually quite hard to get. Most of the accurate ones you see are home-made, as Paramount (quite sensibly) hasn't licensed anyone to produce accurate bat'leths for fear, one assumes, of precisely this kind of story. I doubt this numpty bothered to build his own weapon for what seems to be an opportunist crime.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sharp piece of metal

If its a sharp piece of metal it can hurt, damage and kill a human as we are not made of metal or other stabb and general beating proof material. It dosent matter what you call it or how bad it would be in a real combat situation against an armoured and armed opponant. Sharp metal Vs. Squichy human? i do belive the sharp metal will win more often than not.

[Ru]

Why on earth did he choose one of those?

i mean, its a particularly stupid design of weapon, unwieldy and unbalanced. Surely there are non-retarded fictional weapons he could have chosen?

[Steve Lubman]

Priceless

"He's probably a huge hit with the ladies."

You have outdone yourselves again!

Long live the Register!

[Norfolk Enchants Paris]

What?

I'm no Trekkie but I always thought that like Star Trek was in the future, and that the Klingons were advanced. So why would they use swords anyway?

Stupid idea.

[Sweep]

@ "Lack of knowledge"

There's a reason the blade looks kind of "alien", it is *no*t a perfectly Human martial-arts blade and i reckon anyone actually trying to use one outside a TV show would be much more likely to damage themselves than a convenience store clerk. Unless they're a Klingon, natch.

[Smallbrainfield]

Typical Klingon moron.

If he'd just taken a type-2 phaser and stunned the clerk, he could have opened the till at his leisure and taken out the security cameras too.

[Anonymous Coward]

Meh

For serious work of this type nothing less than a Romulan cloaking device is sine qua non.

[Steve John]

Didn't think...

... that 7-Elevens sold Gagh and Blood Wine

[Anonymous Coward]

@Graham Lockley

Klingon is a fictitious race by all your definitions.

"fake" - Check.

"false" - Check.

"a lie" - Ah, what is a fiction if not a lie?

Now fuck off back to your sad geek cave, which is no doubt replete with ladies.

"Kahless the Unforgettable" the cycling fanatic or the one who didn't look where he was going?

[Michael]

Who cares...

if it was a ba'leth or a 'normal' martial arts sword? Both are just as sharp and I think the klingon weapon will do some serious maiming!

Mines the one with the phaser set to maximum yield in the pocket!

[Liam]

hmmmm

@ "Meh, bloody Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee (along with those who put 'Jedi' down as their religion)"

some of us athiests did it to wind up the C of E.

i mean come on, jediism is more of a religion that scientology ever will be and hass more relevance than christianity or islam or any of the horrible religions. buddhism is about the only decent one

[Matt Bryant]

Slow news day?

It doesn't even have the minimal eye-candy content required to waive the tech angle! In fact, how long has it been since we had a Paris Hilton story, has the girl gone into hibernation?

[Paul Westerman]

A Warrior's Drink

He only wanted to know where the prune juice was!

[Rob Crawford]

Oh

Kahless the Unforgettable, damn I forgot about him

[Beelzeebub]

Furthermore on religion

Some more observations, they:-

- Use human creduluous followers as cash cows

- allow (or have in the past allowed) slaughter of non members

- hold back the course of human development

gets coat, awaits flames

[Nick G]

Not a Bat'leth...

Deffo not a Bat'leth: it's not big enough & curves the wrong way. (heard that somewhere before...)

Mines the anorak obviously...

[Luis Ogando]

Blaster

T'cho! Hokey religions and bat'leth battle blades are no substitute for a good blaster at your side....

...no, wait a sec...

[ElFatbob]

oh ffs...

i mean who really f*ckin cares about the details of a 'bat'leth'.

[Al]

There's a Wildean irony here

If for no other reason than someone who should get out more, may yet end up being put away.

[Anonymous Scotsman]

@ Furthermore on religion

I think your definition needs a slight revision, as Steve Jobs doesn't qualify one one count.

or at least as far as we know.

[Ben Rosenthal]

JonB

were you savaged by a rabid trekkie as a small boy?

you're really angry over nothing at all.

Cut down on the caffeine young man.

[Alan Fisher]

ahem

"he demanded three dozen out of date Cornish pasties to complete his look"

I know, I know but someone had to say it!

[Anonymous Coward]

Klingon vs Paris Hilton,

Ok Reg Vote time,

Do we want

A. More stories about a scantily clad Paris Hilton ?

B. More stories about Star Trek and Trekkies ?

Let the people vote !..

[Tawakalna]

fled on foot?

wot no transporter harmonic trace for the Federation ship in orbit around early 21stC Earth to detect?

hmmm, I smell a breach of the Temporal Prime Directive on the way. Transparent aluminium is already here so what other technology from the 24thC might we be seeing soon?

my ears are stuck :(

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Klingon vs Paris Hilton,

Vote all you like. We'll take it as seriously as the government takes those online petitions.

[Riscyrich]

@ Rob Crawford

You owe me a new keyboard, mine is now full of coffee and spit ...

[Huw Davies]

@Sarah Bee

Are you trying to say the government doesn't take them seriously? I'm shocked!

[Steven Burn]

@Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 5th February 2009 11:10 GMT

Definately more about Star Trek ....... I'm sick to death of PH

[Anonymous Coward]

ODFO

Won't somebody please think of the poor 7-Eleven employees, they should be armed with non-leatal weapons such as a zat'ni'katel

[Yorkshirepudding]

Qapla

now wouldnt it have been amusing if the clerk had had a phased plasma rifle?

40watt range of course

mines the one with the klingon dictionary in

[Matt W]

Paris Hilton Vs. Klingon

There's only one way to tell.....FIGHT !

[Lottie]

Think of the children!!

I think this is exactly the reason we and america need to join forces and ban extreme sci-fi. Obviously, this fella watched one too many episodes of stra trek and it made.. nay, forced him to commit these crimes.

Why won't someone think of the kiddies?

Mines the one with the mr fusion instructions in the pocket.

[david wilson]

To be honest...

...even a Trekkie armed with some fake fictional weaponry could be scary.

Someone daring to say

"Is that a *real* Klingon sword-thingy, or just a plastic replica?"

would be in danger of being bored to death by the reply.

[Law]

mmmmm.... coffee

"Trekkies should wake up and smell the non-holo coffee"

Non-holo coffee... is that a new starbucks blend??

Mines the one with the replicated 20th century nescafe gold blend....

[Anonymous Coward]

How sad...

... if you want a fictious weapon then you should be buying a full blown replica of a Marine Assault Rifle as first sported in Aliens, even has a working digital rounds left clock.

[Anonymous Coward]

Where's Kodos when you need him

So much cynicism and anger in such a short list of comments.

I'll have to second the ODFO.

[Neoc]

Poor Zathras

Always, always ends bad for Zathras. But Zathras not mind, no.

[Pierre]

Definitely NOT a bat'leth

... which means it might have been a usable weapon, and should be taken seriously. If it had been a bat'leth, the offender would probably have been beaten to death by a 5-yo tetraplegic kid (possibly wearing a blindfold). As sharp as it might be, the, erm, "traditional Klingon weapon" is as dangerous as the lightsaber I bought from W*ll-M*rt last week. No wield=no velocity=superficial cuts at most (if your opponent is naked). Plus the absolute lack of balance of the thing makes it a tiresome bitch of a weapon to handle (even as a defensive weapon). The only remotely "dangerous" versions are the rubber replicas. Klingons might be fierce warriors, but they sure are brain-dead when it comes to weapon design.

Mine is the one with the chainwhip and the warhammer.