How do you like them Apples? Cook drops 'record' 30 times* on conf call as iPhone sales up, services up, wearables up

A year ago, as Apple CEO Tim Cook mustered the strength to defend Apple's strategy in the face of shrinking sales and profits, he could have been forgiven for starting the day by privately weeping into his sugar-free cereal and unsweetened almond milk – the breakfast of Valley kings. El Reg assumes there will have been no such …

[Kevin Fairhurst]

Profits are up, but taxes are down?

Trebles all round, then!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Profits are up, but taxes are down?

Plus ça change

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Profits are up, but taxes are down?

Because this was the first full fiscal year for the new lower US corporate tax rate.

[Anonymous Coward]

"growth in Thailand, Mexico, Poland, Malaysia, India, Turkey, the Philippines and Vietnam."

Poland?

[Peter Black]

Crappy sales?

Personally, I’d kill for sales that crappy.

[Korev]

ElReg's pun bureau appears to have missed the "Stuck Record" puns - they could have used it to iPad out their story a bit more...

[Psmo]

iDon't know. Maybe they Maxed out.

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Did you...

..just call Tim Cook a horrible anus?

[spold]

Probably not going to be helped as the Chinese supply-chain falls apart due to the coronavirus

[Gil Grissum]

Get in line, to buy that monitor stand.

[D@v3]

Most powerful (xyz) ever...!

It has always struck me as an odd thing to make such a big noise about. Every year in the iPhone Keynote, they make reference to 'The most powerful iPhone we've ever made', and the 'most powerful processor' and various other things. I mean, it's not like they're going to be up on the stage and say, 'This is the iPhone 12, it's not quite as powerful as the one we released last year, but it's still good, honest, go buy it'.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Most powerful (xyz) ever...!

If they made it less powerful, they'd get better battery life so would obviously talk about the positive aspect.

[batfink]

480 million services subscribers

480M "subscribers" huh? Is that 480M people actually paying them money each month (as we would recognise a "subscription"), or is that just, say, 480M have an Apple ID?

[Steve Todd]

Re: 480 million services subscribers

You need an Apple ID to use an iPhone or iPad, and there are considerably more than 480M of those in circulation, so I’d guess the former.

[VicMortimer]

Re: 480 million services subscribers

It's entirely possible to use an iPhone or iPad without an Apple ID, if you're happy with the stock apps you don't need one, and if you jailbreak you can install apps without one.

Sure, it's not a common use case, but it's absolutely possible to do.

[O RLY]

Re: 480 million services subscribers

People who bought Apple devices recently received a year of TV+, so they're "subscribers" in that they have a subscription, but not one for which they directly paid. Some mobile carriers also provide gratis temporary subscriptions to Apple Music. I'm sure the expectation is that the services will have insinuated into punters' lives enough that they will convert to paid users in the manner marketeers are wont to call "frictionlessly."

[jliv]

Re: 480 million services subscribers

Subscribers have one or more subscriptions. I have about half a dozen Apple subscriptions, but only one Apple ID. Some are free for some period, others are billed monthly or annually. Lot’s of room for spin here.

[Sirius Lee]

Trade war

So much for the devastating effect of the trade war with China. Not a mention of it's deletierious effect by Cook or Hood. It wasn't raised as an issue in the Microsoft Q3 call with analysts either when they announced $129m profit per day up some huge percentage.