Posts by spold

AI struggles to patch vulns without adult supervision

It's not fixed anyway...

It's not resting, sleeping or having a kip.

US Marines' latest anti-drone toy is an AI turret that uses regular machine guns

Next...

The Echo Papa 607 with the French Taunter.

New humanoid robots from China look like creepy pop star action figures – complete with slightly dodgy lip-synch

The last thing you need...

....is a problem with the lip-sync, could be most off-putting vicar.

No captain, my captain: Navantia floats crewless warship

Re: Uncrewed ?

Mary Celeste class.

Waymo's self-driving cars face their toughest test yet: London

Watch out

I tried one of them there Waymo Johnny Cabs once but it took me for a ride.

Physicist reckons two-button calculator can do all elementary math

...it has a button to press when it turns blue.

...and more like a Turing machine

Artemis II snaps eclipse, Earthset shots on first crewed lunar flyby since Apollo

Never seen before...

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExazYwZDBpMnR2dTN6d3JmODR2YWlkM2ZmOGozMDllMm9vY3lpaGs3dCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/xUNd9XIJm5J1qUgPvO/200.webp

NASA pencils in fresh Artemis II Moon launch attempt for April 1

Wet Dress Rehearsal (WDR)???

I assume they will need some Viagra to get it off the ground...

Supposedly big-brained execs are outsourcing decisionmaking to AI

So...

You can go and sit on a beach and leave it to the AI that likely has more sense than you do. If it had big tits you might take it with you (until some people realise you are the biggest tit in the company).

Burger King turns to AI to flame broil employees who aren't friendly enough

"The role of this technology is to support our teams so they can stay present with guests." - the rest of you are going to be "unpresent" so bugger off

Microsoft boss on AI content: 'Nobody wants anything that is sloppy'

Re: Microslop

Sometimes you have to make it sloppy, vicar.

IBM stock dives after Anthropic points out AI can rewrite COBOL fast

Re: COBOL is easy...

Can it re-punch my paper tapes? Just askin' for a friend....

Desktop tech sent to prison for an education on strange places to put tattoos

There are some people...

...that need a QR code on certain bits

SpaceX's faulty Falcon spewed massive lithium plume over Europe, say scientists

Re: C'mon...

...isn't that what all these asteroid deflection experiments are about?

C'mon...

....have they not learned that if you want to trash something messy, crash something obnoxious, or have a war, everyone has to ensure it will be held/done in Belgium so as to not make their own country a shithole? European history generally supports this approach.

Your AI-generated password isn't random, it just looks that way

Just...

..add QWERTY to the end of the suggested one... sorted?

Re: Kinda obvious...

....all your accounts are belong to us

Fukushima's radioactive hybrid terror pig boom was driven by amorous mothers

Missed a bit.....

"radioactive hybrid terror pigs" FROM SPAAAAAACE!

Smartphones cleared for launch as NASA loosens the rulebook

Samsung perhaps?

The "Space Zoom" feature might be useful in finding your way to the moon.... even if when you get there it doesn't look like the picture... "I knew I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque".

.

Musk distracts from struggling car biz with fantastical promise to make 1 million humanoid robots a year

Sounds familiar

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_the_Paranoid_Android

NASA begins formal anomaly review after MAVEN probe lost in space

Obviously...

...since "does suggest an energetic event" and "It's unlikely that anything has hit it" are assumed to be true, then the hypothesis "zapped by a Martian" has moved up the list.

Moon hotel startup hopes you get lunar lunacy, drop $1M deposit for 2032 stay

Alternatively ...

Go to the McMurdo Dry valleys in Antarctica https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMurdo_Dry_Valleys - pretty similar but cheaper shithole experience except they get a bit of meltwater on a Tuesday in August and the odd bit of green crud - soup anyone?

Tech that helps people outshone overhyped AI at CES 2026

"I can see this being a complete and utter nightmare to use"

Yes, and unfortunately many can't understand the user manual.

Re: Vera Rubin

I knew her sister Vicky.

US Army seeks human AI officers to manage its battle bots

Predictable...

The army secretary for acquisition, logistics, and technology? Major Bang of course!

AI faces closing time at the cash buffet

Re: digital transformation!!!!

ENIAC needed rewiring for new programs. The Manchester Mark 1 was the first stored program computer (although the preceding Manchester Baby proved the concept). The Mark 1 lead to the development of the Ferranti Mark 1 - the world's first commercial computer.

NASA nominee 'committed' to uprooting Shuttle Discovery for Houston trophy piece

I guess if they snapped a wing and a wheel off and sent that it would be cheaper and everyone would be happy?

(Engineering Judgement of Solomon).

Speccy clone storms back for Christmas without a shred of Sinclair code

Excellent - I've been looking for a new doorstop ;-)

Asahi admits ransomware gang may have spilled almost 2M people's data

Setsunai

Harakiri Friday for management I guess....

Campbell's CISO canned after lawsuit alleges hour-long rant against staff and customers

Re: Grin

Well he certainly ended up in the soup

NASA pares back Boeing's Starliner deal after 2024 calamity

Capsule might only manage three crewed missions to the ISS....

The question being how many it can do from the ISS...

Old-school rotary phone dials into online meetings, hangs up when you slam it down

Aren't those...

...what the Doctor Who Cybermen used to wear?

Bossware booms as bots determine whether you're doing a good job

If ever there was a business case for AI...

.....it would be in deceiving this pile of donkey dung into believing you are in the office doing something that will likely never make any difference to anything while you are actually down the pub...

70-hour work weeks no longer enough for Infosys founder, who praises China’s 996 culture

Was that?

Europe’s TARGET Instant Transaction Settlement system? (o)(o)

Apple knits up $230 sock for your iPhone in time for Christmas

The iCock sock - you know you want one...

AI nudification site fined £55K for skipping age checks

Please upload a picture of your old shrivelled worn-out previously naughty bits so we can verify your old age....

Magician forgets password to his own hand after RFID chip implant

What's the sound...

of one magician clapping....

(he might also get quite jealous if he gets a round of applause)

Obviously....

It's "123456", "password" or "qwertyuiop".... doh!

Happy holidays: AI-enabled toys teach kids how to play with fire, sharp objects

Yay! Chucky now AI enabled...

AI slop hits new high as fake country artist goes to #1 on Billboard digital songs chart

Not too difficult to generate....

"My dog died, my cousin left me....."

52-year-old data tape could contain only known copy of UNIX V4

Turns out...

...It's just a bad recording of the Bay City Rollers.

Google's Gemini Deep Research can now read your Gmail and rummage through Google Drive

The privacy notice...

..is at least 16 pages and that is before expanding the next level content... I have read and understood... Perhaps I can get Gemini to summarise it....

Foxconn hires humanoid robots to make servers at Nvidia's Texas factory

And the orange dictator....

...will take credit for all these jobs being created in the USA (being done by robots from Taiwan). In response they will need H1-B visas.....

---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnZVDQoMJbw

China uses Mars orbiter to snap interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS

C'mon

I could make an image like that using some black paper, a lamp, and some pins....

Tesla board wants to grant Musk $1T in stock, Norway wealth fund says nope

In response...

Musk will buy Norway

Robotic lawnmower uses AI to dodge cats, toys

Cats...

...all it has is speaker on the front going "woof! woof! woof!

High-stakes poker scam used rigged card shufflers, X-ray tables, and special glasses

Being honest...

Old fruit machines used to have "guaranteed 70% payout" (or similar) in small letters, somewhere unlikely to leap out at you on them. That meant over time you were destined to lose 30%. The only somewhat unlikely way to win was to watch someone else stuff it full of coins and not win anything, then you might play and take advantage of the guarantee.

How do you solve a problem like Discovery?

Make it somebody else's problem...

Put a large box around it and call you favourite courier

Mind the gap – in mobile coverage: UK train signal to stay patchy till 2030

Transport for Wales has solved this

You just need to use the nearest station as the default wireless password. I believe Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch has an underused but excellent connection.