Posts by spold

MongoDB's SQL-to-NoSQL converter uses AI to smash the language barrier

My hovercraft is full of eels. Would you like to come back to my place bouncy-bouncy?

Meta spends $181M to get out of lease at vacant London offices

Given the layoffs...

...surprised they didn't repurpose it as a space for the homeless. OK an Airbnb might be more likely.

Microsoft hiring a nuclear power program manager, because AI needs lots of 'leccy

Remember....

...to send them the electric Bill

VR headsets to shift 30 million units a year by 2027, vastly behind wearables

Re: I said it before, I shall say it again

....it's OK - soon you will just jack things into Musk's Neuralink socket on the back of your neck.

Same story different decade....

I was the manager for Virtual Reality headsets for IBM in 1995 - the actual hardware was produced by a small UK company called Virtuality. It was well ahead of its time (problem #1). It started with game experiences but aspired to professional ones of which there were many one-offs (problem #2 - you don't need many headsets for the professional ones). It had 6D tracking (x,y,z, yaw, pitch, roll), it had stereoscopic directional sound and adjustable vision focus, and it didn't look like someone glued a badly made diving mask to your head. Problem #3 configuration for a stable experience based on the electromagnetic source was difficult. Problem #4 it was difficult to keep the engineers in check who kept developing newer and better versions before you had made any profit on the last version. Problem #5 (the worst) - little Jimmy spends all his time in virtual worlds and now needs glasses (he would have anyway) - lawyers salivate, class action lawsuits! OK back in the day the graphics were sub-VGA (but OK given it was in your face), that one is solved these days - back then it took 6 RISC chips glued to a PC card. Problem #6 - experience developers were unfamiliar with the medium, many were used to first person shooter linear experiences, they didn't understand that if you were not looking in the right direction it didn't happen. Most of these problems still exist, add to it the problems of privacy and what happens in the "metaverse".

Call me an Apple fan, says Huawei founder and chief exec

Re: Lessons are fine

That's done with a "skin" software layer on top of the hardware and Android called EMUI (previously Emotion UI). The differences between UIs are becoming less and less anyway, yes it makes it easier for your customers to decant to another supplier, but also easier for them to decant to yours - the limitations only being the App set you use being supported. However if you have opted into the whole iHead world you are not likely to step outside the box anyway.

Always a fan....

When I worked for IBM and went to Huawei central in Shenzhen for a project, there was a particular engineering building on the campus... when a new iThingy came out they would pull it apart - they were not so much interested in the functionality as in the springs and cogs - who had made the parts, how they were put together, how much had the assembly cost... basically looking for lessons that could be learned.

I spoke to one of the VPs in the consumer business he said "we don't want to copy the Apple product, we want to make one that is better at lower cost".

Interesting stuff. BTW there were 25 IBM consultants working with them at the time - everything from product development processes to the finance office - the US does not like to admit how much of a hand it has had in creating the company.

(p.s. and please no gratuitous downvotes for discussing Huawei or China).

SK hynix vice-chair denies selling to Huawei, calls for memory probe

Oh my giddy aunt

Huawei was selling 5G stuff to the west (and Africa) before all this stuff happened. Anyway, nothing like a good memory probing (I believe they experimented with this on a few politicians but didn't find anything... to probe), maybe they will probe other bits as well.

p.s. no gratuitous downvotes just for mentioning China or Huawei please - after all the article started it.

US-Canada water org confirms 'cybersecurity incident' after ransomware crew threatens leak

Of course...

DAMn BREACHES!! Makes me boil!

Hope the attackers bottle out.

Expect a torrent of complaints.

Meet Honda's latest electric vehicle: A rideable suitcase

Limited use

Generally it is just from your drop-off point to the check-in desk, and through a busy terminal.

It will have to travel folded so that double capacity is only half usable.

Too big for hand baggage so would have to be checked in - ummm Lithium batteries.

Where do I put my carry-on bag?

There went your luggage allowance anyway.

Should be fun at security.

Seems pretty impractical for an airport flight.

I suppose you might take it on a train.

Airbus takes its long, thin, plane on a ten-day test campaign

Re: in a 3-3 economy class configuration.

Maybe British Airways can bring back the flight from London (City) to New York that was using an A319 which was entirely Business Class - that one had to make a stop in Shannon to top up the fuel tanks (but people cleared US immigration there) but this could do it in one hop.

Watt's the worst thing you can do to a datacenter? Failing to RTFM, electrically

Re: Check the power supply

,,,also all testers should install an audio device that when it is next plugged in makes BZZZZZT!!! BZZZT! noises.

Okay, SMART ePANTS, you tell us how to create network-connected textiles

Keep in mind....

...that in the US pants mean trousers, not you trolleys. Sounds a bit one sided as well - where are your eKnickers? (OK on the bedpost).

Russian infosec boss gets nine years for $100M insider-trading caper using stolen data

... I guess he got an extended holiday

NASA rockets draining its pockets as officials whisper: 'We can't afford this'

The money went up in smoke

Per title - 'nuff said

Sure, give the new kid and his MCSE power over the AS/400. What could possibly go wrong?

Re: Umm. Mainframe?

Oh, and also the favoured hotel for visiting the "Blue Zoo" (IBM Rochester with a distinctive blue building, now sadly closed) was the Best Western - which every Tuesday evening held "Bidding for bachelors" - ooh err missus.

Re: Umm. Mainframe?

System/38 next gen replacement manufactured out of Rochester Minnesota - from its looks the world's most intelligent filing cabinet. Originally codenamed Silverlake after the pond in Rochester fed by the outfall of the local power plant which meant it didn't freeze over in the -gazillion degrees winter weather, so attracted a megabundle of geese (hence also known by the codename goose-crap).

Right to repair advocates have a new opponent: Scientologists

Re: Expose

I think this is more in relation to repair brain altering devices.

Dell and Samsung grab first-class tickets for AI hype train

Stickers

Putting an AI lable on things these days increases your valuation/share price. Not that most people can discriminate this as opposed to something that is machine learning or data science. Perhaps I can insert a few rented speccy teens into the product processes and claim it is AI (vaguely more justifiable). The ability to not discriminate the "generative" (read regurgitative) stuff from proper AI, such as used in medical diagnostics, is hurting those really beneficial uses as countries regulate the former. Still, if it increases your share price and investor return I don't think companies give a flying f***.

UK air traffic woes caused by 'invalid flight plan data'

Reset it

CTRL+Altitude+Delete

Tesla's purported hands-free 'Elon mode' raises regulator's blood pressure

The secret phrase is...

unlocks me

(oh go on you can solve that one - yes I know we have to borrow a "c" - I will take that from "car")

IBM shows off its sense of humor in not-so-funny letter leak

A long long time ago

..in the IBM Hursley s/w dev labs IBM actually produced a poster for CICS that went on many walls and was a stream of definitions of what it stood for, many humorous - e.g. Creates IBM Cash Surplus

Space junk targeted for cleanup mission was hit by different space junk, making more space junk

Re: Space trash

Free thinking cat craps outside the box.

Actually, for mine this happens when he has decided it is time for me to change the kitteh litter - he craps next to the box to send me the message.

Get a $25 gift card if you help the US check whether these facial logins really work

Re: So, $25

...apparently that is the new price of privacy for some

SEC fines fintech crypto fund that promised 2,700% returns

I'm guessing their first question to the SEC will be...

...do you take bitcoin?

Misfiring Lenovo hires Ford director to help with revamp

I'm sure he can deliver....

...he has his own white Transit.

Moscow makes a mess on the Moon as Luna 25 probe misses orbit, lands with a thud

Luna one minute Ruina next minute. Wascosmos.

LG's $1,000 TV-in-a-briefcase is unlikely to travel much further than the garden

Not needed

There is probably a perfectly good pub down the road, it might even have a telly.

Tesla knew Autopilot weakness killed a driver – and didn't fix it, engineers claim

To cross reference....

https://sfstandard.com/2023/08/11/san-francisco-robotaxi-cruise-debauchery/

The voice recognition may have been a bit wonky when it understood you "needed a truck".

DARPA wants interoperability standard for Moon living

Do they understand...

...that everyone there will rent an AirlessBNB Clanger cave?

Pack of GM Cruise robo-taxis freeze, snarl up Friday night traffic amid festival crowds

Johnny Cab

...I saw a test version on the loose in Austin Texas - you won't get me up in one of those. Black cab one minute, black hearse next minute.

Curiosity finds evidence of wet and dry seasons on ancient Mars

Re: Life's history

Well if Mr Einstein's theories on not being able to exceed the speed of light hold up then it takes a f*** long time to get anywhere in the neighbourhood, even assuming you can accelerate to near that speed in any reasonable time without becoming goo on the rear wall - so not surprising nothing is knocking on the door. There may be theoretical ways to get around that (space folding etc.) but if so then either there is a general rule to not interfere with evolving civilisations, or we are completely boring.

Get your staff's consent before you monitor them, tech inquiry warns

Re: Well, duh..

Agreed - it will be in the small print that no-one reads (just like privacy policies.... I have read and understood <tick> <click>).

I have come across both bad and reasonable examples in my time as an IT consultant.... the UK Bank that monitored call centre employees to see if they were wasting time at their desk instead of handling calls, and even had a badge lock on the toilets (washrooms) to monitor how often they were using them. A more reasonable one was a pharmacy that was dispensing nuclear medicine for hospitals... monitoring safe handling practices was for the good of both employer and employee.

We need to be first on the Moon, uh, again, says NASA

Another case of....

Many scholarly and ancient texts show that the south pole of the moon has always belonged to China....

NASA's ice-hunting cubesat lunar mission is over, thanks to a stuck valve

Re: Will this mean -

Hey give us an old dustbin and a few fireworks and we could arrange tourist trips to see it....

Experiment arrives at the ISS to see if astronauts can keep things cool

Re: I'm a little surprised...

...being in space - it's a breeze

How to get a computer get stuck in a lift? Ask an 'illegal engineer'

I have to say...

The first time I worked at IBM I learned IBM CEs were the best... they were excellent at problem solving in totally whacky situations.

With ref to the situation described, best I came to was a similar piece of old iron was removed from an office block in the service lift... fitting in service lift... no problem. The exit was in the car park from where it would be lugged away.... only problem the building had recently built a system of bollards around the car park lift entrance (for collision safety or something) - would it fit past them? of course not. After consideration of getting in a big hoist they just decided to disassemble it where it was.

Airbus to help with International Space Station replacement

Re: 2001

...and room service of course.

Bacterial byproducts may help stop the stink in future spacesuits

But I'm sorry, they still didn't survive....

....died of a fart attack.

NASA, DARPA enlist Lockheed to build nuclear-powered spacecraft

...time to dig out the "Flesh Gordon" video...

Infineon to offer recyclable circuit boards that dissolve in water

But....

1. Is it vegan? ;-)

2. Mould.

3. You drop that phone in the toilet it ain't coming back - OK no change there.

4. iDissolved. More tea vicar?

Want to live dangerously? Try running Windows XP in 2023

... and I could never get it to install properly on my VAX 11/750 - oh well I converted that into a programmable beer fridge which it looked like anyway.

Darn new fangled early adopter people - I'm sticking with CP/M. Up yer floppy you geeks.

Twitter name and blue bird logo to be 'blowtorched' off company branding

....should El Reg be worried?

Twat Twit Twatters Twitter Tweeters perhaps?

Unidentified object on Australian beach may be part of Indian rocket launcher

Yes but....

It's not like people get squished by falling space junk often..... it's usually just the once....

First of Tesla's 'bulletproof' Cybertrucks clunks off production line

Re: Are people seriously buying these?

The problem was that the tester was holding the metal ball wrong....

Microsoft's Surface Pro 9 requires a tedious balancing act

Pick the right tool for the job

It's not that different from my Lenovo ThinkPad X1 Yoga. I rarely use the detachable keyboard except when travelling and seated at a desk. For "in-travel" I use the screen keyboard or find a level surface (ha). For my in-my-office use I have a separate mechanical keyboard mouse etc. (and it drives 3 hi res monitors besides itself). I expect the dynamics of this thing are the same. Yes, trying to use that with the flappy thing on your lap just isn't going to work - wrong thing for the use case - get a top-end ultra light robust laptop instead.