Remote grand poobahs and their infinite knowledge of cluelessness
Some centuries back, when Windows95 was still in vogue in corporate environments, despite the incessant warnings of security issues or well, no security, a client organization called for service. A bunch of computers couldn't access the network or internet.
A bit of diagnosis revealed that some bright individual had downloaded malware, which replaced winsock32.dll with something that would've easily been mistaken for a potted plant if it wasn't just data.
So, I find a machine that wasn't corrupted by the malware, which took a bit of doing and in a shortcut attempt, needed to create a share somewhere, anywhere, so that it could be copied via netbeui (don't blame me, I didn't design or support the network, the distant corporate overloards in their fully certified ivory tower did). Alas, creating a share wasn't allowed by GPO, so off I go to call their HQ command center and resident MCSE's. Resistance galore to allowing a share to be created or used anywhere, period and this gem of wisdumb was offered, "Just copy the winsock32.dll from the AS400 disk".
I slowly and patiently explained (we were getting $185/hour, so I was extremely patient, but not as patient with problem clients that paid $100 more per hour for us to put up with them), winsock(anything).dll is a Microsoft product, the AS400 is an IBM product and the two companies weren't getting along or sharing files for quite some time. So, I was offered the suggestion of copying winsock32.dll from the install disk, which was a early release version and we were a couple of service packs in, rendering the suggested solution as effective as replacing winsock32.dll with a text file named to that name.
Explaining even more slowly, obviously realizing that utter morons were now able to acquire the treasured MCSE certification, I explained what service packs were, mixed versions being fatal to systems we're trying to recover, as the malware wasn't persistent in that case and the plant really should resume production before proton decay in the universe and generally gave a full suggestion of my lack of faith in the individual's capability to even utilize a specially blunted infant feeding spoon without self-harm occurring and finally, finally, FINALLY, access was granted.
Operations resumed within the hour, as it was only 100 machines.
The fun part, he was the supervisor, who all non-cookie cutter things had to go through. The company is now registered as a foreign corporation, apparently having failed from California.
I should've become a dentist, as I've had ever so many teeth to pull over the decades!
Biting the hand that feeds IT
