Posts by tezboyes

BOFH: Boss's quest for AI-generated program ends where it should've begun

Re: you just need to ask AI to sum up the numbers

Yep,sounded like a

give the Boss enough rope

answer.

Re: Oh the sentiment!

There's also the Geordie version YI ;)

Re: Oh the sentiment!

Oh I do, partial retirement is not that far off now - and everyone knows it and my attitude to all this new fangled nonsense...

I do continue to teach the new ones the advantages of actually knowing what you're doing and how things work. That will stand them in good stead whatever the future holds.

BOFH: The true gravity of the Boss and the 3-coffee problem

Re: My body objects to coffee!

Nah, there's definitely a Return on the investment.

Re: Tier 4

A couple more and he hits warp factor 10 ...

BOFH: Well, we did tell you to keep the BitLocker keys safe

There are some great breweries and pubs in Leeds. And of course West Yorkshire is next door to heaven, just East of it ...

BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user

Am I the only one to notice the irony of BOFH being sponsored by DDN The AI Data Company?

Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

How about a little black light on a black background...

BOFH: Why's the network so slow?

Re: "spanning tree, bayesian binary caching, flapping vlans, combination crypto signing errors"

Has the BOFH bullshit bingo ever been collated?

Re: Classic strategy

Nah, update on a Thursday, so when the complaints come in on the Friday you can spend all weekend rolling everything back - on overtime plus sustenance and residential expenses of course.

Re: Mornington Crescent?

You need to be much further North for a laff ;)

BOFH: The new Boss, Aiman, is suspiciously good – for now

I suspect that the new Boss may start ordering its own hardware upgrades...

BOFH: So you want more boardroom tech that no one knows how to use

Re: I was once rushed to a meeting...

Clearly the kind of set of individuals who inspired the classic service desk shaggy dog story that ends.

And return it to the vendor, telling them that you're just too f'ing stupid ...

Re: Oh yeah !

Please can somebody think of the poor cleaning staff and the mess they'll have to deal with!

If the board are all in the same room there are much tidier ways to deal with them

BOFH: Looks like you're writing an email. Fancy telling your colleague to #$%^ off?

Re: Another one bites the dust

Glass half full

Glass half empty

It's your round.

That's fuzzy logic.

BOFH: Nice air conditioning system. Would be a shame if anything happened to it

Re: Tea and coffee

Ah yes proper kit, the kind that could be used to deal with that an incompetent Boss without breaking the keyboard into little pieces.

Re: Welcome to the new age of IT!!

Welcome to the new BOFH, just like the old ...

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus

I do love a good heart warming Christmas Carol, ghost story, kind of a tale :)

BOFH: Groundbreaking discovery or patently obvious trolling?

Re: Hardware

When asked do you want another?

If the glass is less than half full then the answer is clearly Yes.

When more than half full, the answer is Mehbe. Have a large swallow, then the answer is Yes.

BOFH: Monitor mount moans end in Beancounter beatdown

Re: Looks like we're going to be well under our budget this year!"

Then there's that team bonding course in Jamaica...

Re: Cost of bean counter

Good admin staff are often way cheaper and better than the latest fancy IT, but "that's a different budget" !

Re: Excellent!

Seems like you need better IT, or some admin staff, if it takes that long to enter the same things.

I recommend putting in a business case.

I know some consultants that can give a quote on the former...

Beancounting for Dummies?

BOFH: We've made a big mesh, Boss. That's what you wanted, right?

That was of course necessary, for proper triangulation.

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine

Re: Anonymous Survey

Of the anonymous survey, that ends up asking a whole bunch of demographics at the end.

As whatever the split, odds are you will be the only person with that specific combination...

Re: Wonderful episode once again!

Or in Death Metal - ah yeah, nobody would be able to read it ...

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

Re: Spoiler alert - game solution

Absolutely, and generally the solutions were just at that sweet spot that all the clues were there, they became obvious as soon as you got it, but needed a nice amount of in-game think to get it.

Re: No win game

Or use the Kirk option!

BOFH: You can be replaced by a robot or get your carbon footprint below Big Dave's

Re: Its happened again

Definitely not with a modern keyboard, you'll just end up annoying said bean counter on two grounds. For one thing it'll hurt a bit, but mostly as it'll need to be written off, new one purchased, etc...

Of course if you us a proper old school IBM keyboard, well you may need to drop it into the dishwasher to get the blood off!

Re: Error in binary expression at line 61

And when you're the Boss, close to being defenestrated, you're close to becoming a lot more carbon neutral.

Dead bosses tell no tales, but more importantly use few resources.

Indeed, I'd not realised the good I've been doing all these years!

(I do have it stated in my will that I want a woodland burial)

And yes like some, I've already done the figures on the positive contribution of early decease...

Re: "It's in your contract"

What!!!

Re: Live From Network 23

Holly or Hilly?

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards

Re: Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

Funnily enough, been there, done that, saw the evidence at the time ....and it it documented.

As I can't remember if this site bans links to stop spam I suggest you use your favourite search engine and look the story up.

Re: Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

The City University of Newcastle upon Tyne.

Re: This boss...

I was just thinking he seems smarter than the average boss, is his name Yogi?

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business

I can call you Betty?

Re: So ? Is AI the new "cloud computing"?

Analyze most of the nonsense that comes out of the mouths of senior managers, especially those who have been exposed to consultants.

Compare and contrast to what these pastiche generators are spewing out ...

BOFH: Get me a new data file or your manager finds out exactly what you think of him

Re: Oh the pain!

And numerous posts from the ever so helpful community about it being a known bug.

That there's no point asking about it here as it can only be fixed by the supplier...

BOFH: Ah. Company-branded merch. So much better than a bonus

Re: When do people understand that cash rules?

The latest we're all in it together help/reward scheme we have is - to be able to load money onto purchase cards from a few supermarket chains. Woohoo, yeah, thanks. So much more useful than an actual pay rise.

Though some years ago we did get one item WTCLOI that was then (and still is) of use - a fleece jacket. So whilst WFH with the heating off, as it costs too much to keep it on all day, I can wear that.

BOFH takes a visit to retro computing land

Wondering which CBM and dual floppy.

The PET4000 was the one that lead to my inevitable downfall !

Unilever claims it's a 'cloud-only enterprise' – now with added OpenAI

Re: Don't need my daily dilbert after this

And I'm wondering which cloud the BOFH will be launching his manager from ...

BOFH: The Board members are looking very ill these days

Is that a person you sit on?

I've been saying that for years, dinosaurs were animals too !

Re: Compassion

As opposed to dead board ?

Or even dead stupid!

BOFH: I care a lot ... about onion bhajis

Re: Bhajis?

Too much emphasis on onion (and other bhajis) as far as I'm concerned. When will other equally tasty morsels such as the pakora or samosa get their time in the spotlight. They're actually superior in many ways, much easier to snack on.

Re: Famous

I guess that makes sense!

Re: Mort and the unversal logic

Supper's Ready ?

Re: Bah!

Seems to me that the error was being handled...

Re: Happy Friday

The BOFH should join the PFY then it becomes an off-site team bonding session.