* Posts by Mr. V. Meldrew

65 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Dec 2021


Japan's second-ranked mobile telco to buy convenience store chain from Mitsubishi

Mr. V. Meldrew

Pardon the pun??

"processing used oil dumped at Lawson stores to fuel (pardon the pun) a biodiesel operation."

Sorry no pun there. Or maybe I'm missing something....

British railway system is getting another excuse for delays – solar storms

Mr. V. Meldrew


Complete Tosh!

Lazy so called boffins, looking out of their ivory towers (in this case my much loved Lancaster Uni).

The Uni looks over the West Coast main line. I wonder when they were gazing over the railway that they asked BR...sorry Network Rail... if they could look at the "Relay Room" that is residing by the railway?

They would see Relays. Electromechanical devices with interlocks in robust steel earthed cabinets. The trackside equipment is encased is steel structures, again not electronic.

In what world would a solar flare affect a 243 Tonne train from "shorting" a the section signal out. Yes the line is occupied when the first wheel enters the section rail and remains so until the next section.

Gentlemen of Lancaster uni. Stop looking out of the window.

Mark. Former Signals and Telegraph engineer for British Railways. (S&T.E)

Regulator says stranger entered hospital, treated a patient, took a document ... then vanished

Mr. V. Meldrew

Fine but not fine....

Some official body "fining" another body is absurd.

In this case, put them in the naughty corner and try to offer sound advice.

We have seen many examples of government departments issuing fines that ultimately affect the consumer in financial terms.

Education, education is the answer.

Suits ignored IT's warnings, so the tech team went for the neck

Mr. V. Meldrew

Ahhh...the early days. (Part 2)

Before 4.30 PM on the Wednesday before the Friday payment to the lovely staff.

So the first BACS (payment transfer) payment went out, at 56K speed to the bank. It totalled some £4 K or thereabout.

Everybody happy I thought.

How wrong I was, on the Friday the 'phones got hot, not with clients but with staff "where is my money?" being the question. By the end of the day, 30 cheques (checks) written and handed to the staff I went home.

The bank never solved the problem, we went back to the old system, pen and paper.

They refunded the £4K

Mr. V. Meldrew

Ahhh...the early days.

I was asked to set up a care in the home business in the early 1990's. I relished the challenge, particularly being involved and caring for more mature members of our society.

The IT bit was down to me, we had Tandy and a small outfit called "Viglen". I chose Viglen fo the PC choice and natrally a dot matrix printer, I loved the sound and all the paper spewing out of it.

We banked with Lloyds Bank in the UK, the business manager suggested "internet banking" - yes you heard "internet banking"!

Well as younger upcoming man who could resist?

I discussed and sold the idea to my late bosses, the answer was yes.

A week or so later a small parcel arrived from the bank, containing 14 floppy disks (not sure of the size now). Maybe 4" could be wrong, size didn't matter in them days.

With a dial up modem and PC loaded with banking software that took an hour to load, the business opened!

My lovely staff were to be paid straight into their bank account, a novel idea, you had to do the wage run before 4.30

From Apollo to Space Shuttle, Thomas K Mattingly's stellar journey ends at 87

Mr. V. Meldrew


Understated...RIP you adventurer.

NASA just patched Voyager 2's software but spared Voyager 1 the risky rewrite

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Slow communication

110 Bits Per Second? faster than my BT broadband and I'm only 1 mile out from the exchange!

You've just spent $400 on a baby monitor. Now you need a subscription

Mr. V. Meldrew

Shameful Robbing Bast*rds!

A sad yet true tale. I'm an older single guy living on my own in a flat in Manchester, with only my disability and cat to look after.

A neighbour at the back of my home decided to single me out for her abusive and threatening language. The neighbour had previous for Arson, including setting fire to their own property.

Naturally, this prayed on my mind, forewarned is forearmed I thought. I rang the local fire station, they were really helpful, fitted a special box behind the letter box. I'm on the ground floor with my own front door.

The brigade also recommended a "Doorbell Camera" as evidence gathering if needed.

I bought a "Ring" camera. Put it on my door. I felt more secure as I could replay the footage on my mobile if needed.

So here is the crunch. 12 weeks later I tried to replay the footage, only to be told I had to pay £14.99 a month for the privelege as my "trial" had expired. What trial? I bought the camera, no trial mentioned.

£14.99 is easy money for some, sadly not me.

Please don't fall into the trap. Nearly new Ring doorbell for sale, Manchester UK. Collect only - subscription not included.

PS. Crazy neighbour has a restraining order, exclusion order and is being cared for by healthcare proffesionals as I speak.

PPS. Anybody interested in crowdfunding a similar camera that would only require a minimal cost covering storage fee?

SpaceX, T-Mobile US phone service will interfere with ours, claims rival

Mr. V. Meldrew

You forget.....

.... the nice computer shop owner, a Mr. Musk, gave some of his surplus stock to our friends in Ukraine to help ward of some evil bastard from Russia.

Give Mr. Musk some credit.

Toodle Pip.

Moscow makes a mess on the Moon as Luna 25 probe misses orbit, lands with a thud

Mr. V. Meldrew

What a shame....

Well well, a nasty accident, caused by a nasty dictatorship.

One day Ukraine will land on the moon and like other civil society place their flag on the surface for the world to see and marvel at ingenuity without costing lives.

Voyager 2 found! Deep Space Network hears it chattering in space

Mr. V. Meldrew

Come to Mama....

.... my sweet 45 year old child. and don't run off again! Grrr!

NASA mistakenly severs communication to Voyager 2

Mr. V. Meldrew

You go and point Voyager.

Totally amazing, you get back to calling mother Earth.

Want to live dangerously? Try running Windows XP in 2023

Mr. V. Meldrew

Still use XP!

As a telecom engineer I have customers who still prefer legacy comms for their business. Panasonic PABX systems are a popular system. You could programme the system using the operator key pad, slow, very slow. You can open a programme and attach the laptop with a serial cable, a GIU showing lines and extension configs.

Problem is the programme will only run on XP. Hence my old laptop running XP, but never ever connected to the world.

India takes second punt at soft lunar landing with launch of Chandrayaan-3 mission

Mr. V. Meldrew

All well and good.....

You know what's coming here. Why is the UK government still sending overseas aid to India to fritter away on space exploration when there are people and children starving.

It's just bonkers. Yes, the usual down voters, get your mouse out and click me down.

Charity however, begins at home.

Comms watchdog to probe errors that left Brits unable to make emergency calls

Mr. V. Meldrew

Local time?....

Please enlighten me...

"On Sunday afternoon, local time, the Metropolitan Police...."

Reminds me of the joke about the local police station having their toilets stolen. The Police commented later that "they had nothing to go on".

Toodle pip.

Starlink's rocket speeds hit a 50 megabit wall for large downloads

Mr. V. Meldrew


...The paper tigers!

As usual OFCOM won't intervene on individual matters, they just put your complaint in the round filing cabinet AKA wastebin.

Time to f**k them off and get a truly independent org with a big stick to reign in these liars.

The Hubble Space Telescope is sinking! Two startups want to save it for free

Mr. V. Meldrew

Save our Hubble!

Take to the streets! Chain yourself to a fence! We must save Hubble at all costs (or no cost). Where would be without Hubble?

Your security failure was so bad we have to close the company … NOT!

Mr. V. Meldrew

Pleased to meed you....

"This week meed a man we'll Regomize as "Thaddeus". "

El Reg....must try harder. Pleased to meet you. :)

Romance scammers' favorite lies cost victims $1.3B last year

Mr. V. Meldrew


This is me a few years ago. I feel used and stupid now. I was sucked in. A thousand pounds lighter now. I thought I was clever. Mark.

Scientists conclude cats only have three personalities after YouTube clip binge

Mr. V. Meldrew

Litter Tray?!?!

Get away with you. Litter trays, you can f**k that right off. As a kitten my Tzuki (prononuced suki) had a liiter tray for 2 weeks in the house. Her "droppings" aka "shit" smelt so bad I was phyisically sick. After 2 weeks the tray was outside the cat flap and later behing the garden shed. Now she shits and pisses on public land, for which I pay council tax for it to be maintaned. Yes, I guess some readers may not live in an "outside" cat home..... but you should of thought of this before having a pussy.

Five British companies fined for making half a million nuisance calls

Mr. V. Meldrew

One Word!


UK to test Starlink satellite broadband for those hard to reach areas

Mr. V. Meldrew

Lucky Ruralists!

Here in the shadow of Beetham Tower a small community of Miles Platting just a (large) stones throw from the centre of Manchester (UK) await for speed (not that sort) - here in my humble abode we (as in my pussy) receive the mouth watering 10 meg download and 1 meg upload. No FTTC at the cab and 1.4Km from Collyhurst exchange. No cable either.

So if your getting better speeds, stop moaning and be fucking thankful.

Epson zaps lasers into oblivion, in the name of the environment

Mr. V. Meldrew
Thumb Down


Bull Shit! Laser any day for me.

Russia says Starlink satellites could become military targets

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Missed by that much!

All (Putin) has left is 1000's of grieving family members for their dead relatives, some in hidden shallow graves who where decapiated or raped with a bullet in the head for extra measures.

Huge nonprofit hospital network suffers IT meltdown after 'security incident'

Mr. V. Meldrew

Computer says.....wrong hospital.

Whilst spending 23 hours on a hospital trolley about 2 weeks ago I had time to listen in to the bullshit fed to our great NHS workers.

The best one was that a number of routine refferal cases had been sent to Manchester (UK) Royal Infirmary whilst the ones due for emergency care ended up in maternity care. Thankfully, yet sadly, old Ted in a trolley opposite to me couldn't give a rats arse where he was abandoned and so seemingly did his "carers".

The meals for the want of a better description had been ordered on their new IT system.

I wonder if the events in the USA and UK were by any chance related? I knew we were all doomed the following day when Peter had swapped his shiny new iPad with his trusty hand towel and pen for meal order.

Best wishes and god bless to all on ward 9, Manchester Royal Infirmary.


'I Don't Care About Cookies' extension sold to Avast

Mr. V. Meldrew

Such a shame.

A strange name "I Don't care about cookies" for a nifty little extension that by name implies that by installation you actually DO care about those pesky cookies, whoever named them "cookies" should also apologies unreservedly to the baked snack manufacturers and consumers for any confusion between a sweet oat/wheat based delight and a nagging and frankly intrusive bit of shitware that IDCAC deftly dealt with.

The lone ranger who invented this extension has made my browsing so more pleasurable (combined with AD Block Plus). Both of whom have received the odd donation over the years.

As for flogging IDCAC to Avast well good on him and I hope he made a life changing sum of money. Others will fill his boots in good time if Avast start any nagware trickery.

Man wins competition with AI-generated artwork – and some people aren't happy

Mr. V. Meldrew

The trAIn principle...

Oh you doubters of the worthiness of AI, you can call it what you wish, for I have not a toss or jot give.

On the invention, not of AI but the train, the locomotive, many where scared and big wigs at the time prevented the "Iron Horse" from travelling at any great speed, for fear of passengers having their lungs sucked dry off air. (Citation needed).

My point is that without innovation and freedom we limit our dreams and hope for technology and the good it can do for all of us.

So I say. Give AI the chance just as all before us had also eventually embraced change. It's not a big ask in these times.

NASA scrubs Artemis mission yet again because SLS just can't handle the pressure

Mr. V. Meldrew

Sausage Rolls (Part 2)

I don't believe it!

The bloody thing should have taken off today.

As you already know, I'd arranged for a drinks and nibbles party at the Meldrew residence and we had to call the whole match off for the 1st launch.

The "Extra Special" sausage rolls bought by Margaret and Mrs. Warbouys expired tonight at midnight, it's now 00:40 BST.

Now NASA better start praying, we shall be suing for the cost of the rolls and disappointment caused, we estimate a law suit of at least 22 USD.

Seriously though cannot wait to see this launch. (Timing to be arranged).

PS. Bought some frozen Bahji mixed nibbles from Mr. Iceland (10% off for OAP's) will store safely without Hydrogen leaks for 12 months.

Chances good for NASA Artemis SLS Moon launch on Saturday

Mr. V. Meldrew

Sausage Rolls.....

The bloody thing had better take of tonight.

I'd arranged for a drinks and nibbles party at the Meldrew residence and we had to call the whole match off!

The "Extra Special" sausage rolls bought by Margaret and Mrs. Warbouys expire tonight at midnight!

If that bloody craft hasn't blasted of by then, then NASA better start praying, we shall be suing for the cost of rolls and disappointment, we estimate a law suit of at least 22 USD.

Seriously though cannot wait to see this launch.

Voyager 1 data corrupted by onboard computer that 'stopped working years ago'

Mr. V. Meldrew



Such amazing dedication on an old bit of kit deserves a pat on the back for these white coated boffins.

It amazes me every day.

Germany orders Sept 1 shutdown of digital ad displays to save gas

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Exceptions for such dual-purpose signs have been arranged.

So you grew up and invented Peloton! Well done :)

The International Space Station will deorbit in glory. How's your legacy tech doing?

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: I was hoping the re-entry would be uncontrolled

I'm with you on this. Assuming it came down in one piece, which is very unlikely. Which piece would you take and why?

I'd go for a solar panel and put it my garden, needs must at these difficult times in the UK.

BT union wants pay dispute talks with telco's largest shareholders

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: "We have tried and tested processes...

As a retired Openreach employee I wish to give my two penn'orth worth.

The colleagues I worked with as both exchange and customer engineers worked bloody hard in sometimes difficult circumstances (yes a few didn't and you know who you are). Always chased and tracked by the "Tracker Sacker" installed in the last decade to "ensure your safety when working alone" in your van. As an example, phone call from manager (not engineer, parachuted in from uni with some business qual.) "Mark I see your at Asda Eastlands, why are you there? You should be attending an urgent ISDN fault!

My response "Yes I'm at Asda, in the middle of rejointing an ISDN pair to the external cash machines".

Management should be made to climb 8 metre poles in the middle of winter and resolve cable faults at the top, whilst trying to avoid mild electric shocks (again ISDN ccts. are the worst). Then we may see some sense and proportion in the CWU's claim for BT workers.

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Unheard of

Yeah if you can't write proper English El reg, then don't write at all. We are in the UK and we demand the queens language! :-) (Love you really El Reg)

Tesla Full Self-Driving 'fails' to notice child-sized objects in testing

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Comparison

Not an excuse. Just a simple question for the more informed. Unlike yourself.

Mr. V. Meldrew

Re: Comparison

I wonder......

Just my small grey cells working overtime.

Do you think that "parked emergency vehicles" maybe with various radio frequencies in use at the same time could affect the Tesla car?

Just a thought.

After config error takes down Rogers, it promises to spend billions on reliability

Mr. V. Meldrew

Would never happen to BT Openreach....

Or could it?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything

Mr. V. Meldrew

Geniuses or Genii? That is the question.

Great on call story... though you knew at the start it would end in tears, and jail time.

But the bigger question is the pluralisation of Genius. Geniuses or Genii. I myself prefer Genii.

And don't get me started on the singular of "confetti", see Sheldon Lee Cooper for his take on this.

Happy weekend to all of you from sunny Manchester UK.

Canadian ISP Rogers falls over for hours, takes out broadband, cable, cellphones

Mr. V. Meldrew

Should I worry?

Now not being familiar with Canadian internet structure of provision, resilience, support, infrastructure ... blah blah I ask this naïve question with the hope you will spare a poor disabled pensioner (EX BT for sins committed in previous live)

Would Rogers "outage" happen in the UK? Particularly with the current rollout of BT's FTTP?

This worries me. I live just outside Manchester and pay £15 a month to my ex employer for a poxy 7.6 D/L speed (U/L 810Kb). What hope do we have in a copperless society? (aluminium inserted in small lengths just to bugger it all up)

Should I be worried that the connected world may un ravel?

Japanese chip plant back online after lightning strike

Mr. V. Meldrew

A bad situation...

handled perfectly.

Benjamin Franklin (June 10 1752) has a lot to answer for :)

This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15

Mr. V. Meldrew

I don't believe it!

Nah not buying this "story".

Jail sentences for this, the person who should swing for this is the one who allowed the software/hardware to accept the "stuff" on the HDD in the first place.

Banging out of order if you ask me.

Union tells BT: Commit to pay rise talks next week or else

Mr. V. Meldrew

Get your ladders out!

Ah back to the good old days. (strange time shifting background noise) the heady days of '87.

Me, a humble 27 year old self-employed guy, a telephone engineer by trade, yet self employed, unusual I guess in them days.

Then came along the BT strike! Wow what a bonanaza . Business and residential faults every hour, take your pick. Clearly only on the subs wiring (cough, cough) not on the precious jewel of BT's network of copper aluminon and lead sheathed cable.

That strike really did affect subs (customers), many who relied on the phone, roll forward to today. There are still many subs who rely on landlines. I just hope in this corporate world that the "little" sub is still looked after.

If your ex BT, get your ladders out!

Voyager 1 space probe producing ‘anomalous telemetry data’

Mr. V. Meldrew


Absolutely Awesome!

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout

Mr. V. Meldrew

Reminds me of......

Some great friends. He was a Professor of political history, his lovely wife now suitably ensconced in the House of Lords. Terribly academic types. Me a lowly telecom engineer. My friends were both Labour politicians, myself on the other bench as an Independent. Yes we crossed swords occasionally.

A call came through on the home 'phone one evening, the Councillor (also ex-MP) was in a right state. I calmed him down by telling him that Labour would eventually rule the world (or words to that effect). Mark he said, we "have a crisis on our hands" .... "We're having a dinner party for Lord and Lady (insert Regomiser here) and the bloody kettle won't work.

I enquired further, it appeared that they had swapped their trusty Russel Hobbs for a more modern version of kettle.

So the problem was that back in the day, the kettle had come with a plug but not attached to the lead.....oh dear.

As a pair of boffins, they had no clue how to safely attach plug to lead, would I be "lamb" and drive round to get them out of the jolly old cesspit?

They had donated the old kettle to their poor student son who was currently trundling down the M1 to Oxford.

Naturally, as a helpful brick I said I could pop over and fulfil their task. (all fair in love and politics)

"Wear a dinner suit when you come over and use the back kitchen door, kettle and plug awaits you." He said.

Why the dinner suit I enquired? "We have space on the dinner table for our tradesman" was the reply.....

A great night with very intelligent people, maybe.