Posts by that one in the corner

Large Hadron Collider data hints at explanation for why everything exists

Found hints

What, the carefully signed neutrons weren't enough?

Down-Up-Down : a very comfortable corner.

AWS previews Kiro IDE for developers who are over vibe coding

Agenticide - good name

Perhaps the first glimmerings of AWS being realistic about overhyping current "AI" trends and giving us the tools to defeat them?

Or just named by the same team who didn't think they needed to put a hyphen into the URL for their Expert Sex Change forum and could never figure out what the conversations were all about?

A software-defined radio can derail a US train by slamming the brakes on remotely

Re: Remotely take over a brake controller

Glad to know that your experience not working on US freight trains has been so useful in teaching you all about the protections built into things that are not US freight trains.

Meanwhile, for everyone who does work on, or just lives near to, US freight trains, TFA has something relevant to say.

Junior developer's code worked in tests, destroyed data in production

Squirrel?!

Hegseth signs flying memo to expand military use of cheap drones in oddball video

cheap, expendable UAVs

And an operator with crossed bandoliers of cheap, expendable, controllers already paired to the stack of drones in his backpack.

"Pull!"

Buzz, whirr, buzz. Bang.

"Pull!"

Whips out next controller, curses as he struggles to fit the iPhone into the clip...

British Perl guru Matt Trout dead at 42

Re: Perhaps it comes with the territory

Ahem,

Prolog - PRObably the Language Of God.

But big respect to Trout (and everyone else) who made Perl do its stuff (including Perl/Tk).

Thousands of NASA senior staffers expected to quit after budget slashed

> Bill Nye, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver ... Does that sound.. very scientific

Ah, good old JE, having to dig up a piece from a 2019 John Oliver show to have a dig at Bill Nye and his ilk.

If Last Week Tonight is JE's standard for a scientific forum to criticise, we will be in for a treat when he catches up with Professor Hannah Fry's turn at chairing Have I Got News For You.

Security company hired a used car salesman to build a website, and it didn't end well

Re: "I Could Be So Good for You"

Passwords innabun

Trump tariffs turn techies topsy-turvy as US braces for PC tax

Re: Idiotic tariff nonsense

Ahem.

Cawardines.

but they've all gone now :-(

How to trick ChatGPT into revealing Windows keys? I give up

Re: Rejoice, for the LLM was naive

Microsoft are investors in ChatGPT, the generic product that was tested here - but you sre implying that have given OpenAI access to a lot of material from systems that are outright owned by Microsoft.

Do we have any citations for this?

I.e. that MS are effectively allowing any competitor to buy time on ChatGPT and get the benefits of the extra, "private", materials-worth of training?

Now, an MS-specific instance for Copilot, trained in the extra stuff, that is another thing.

PS even a "private" repo, you should not be storing your Windows keys etc!

Rejoice, for the LLM was naive

All the fury about the LLMs containing this kind of information and how terrible that it wasn't stripped from the training data[1] or how weak the "guard rails"[2] are to allow it to spit the material out.

All that the article is *really* saying is that lots of things you wish you hadn't made available are trivially found by enough web crawling. The only reason you can't get the same stuff out of a simple Google search is because Google is now crap and won't do old fashioned "find me a match" searches. In this case, the LLM happens to be working better as a search engine (but don't expect all of its "results" to be *real* keys - some are, others were undoubtedly made up to fit the pattern).

Be glad of that.

Because of the naivety of the LLM, you have, once again, been warned that you published all those keys and they *have* been found.

And LLM scrapers are not the only things that will have read them. The AI slingers got them by accident, along with all the names of Barbie's pets. More directed scrapers are going through your Git repos, deliberately looking: your unsanitary habits are not only being used to create amusing articles about how awful LLMs are, tut, tut.

[1] how? Then imagine your reaction when you are told the training set is first filtered to find all the secrets that were made available to a web crawler - and you realise this means that the filter's log contains all the good stuff in concentrated form. See above.

[2] those "guard rails" really appear to be a sop, attempts at post-processing whose only practical results are that there is now a fun game for researchers to dream up more convoluted ways to hide their data requests (let's try some JSON today - boo, the guard rails are grepping for those now; how about HTML tags? Yay!).

Semiconductor industry could short out as copper runs dry

Re: Looking forwards to more magnetic jumper wires and unsolderable cables

> The usual problems you find with aluminium cable are caused by incorrect termination

That is the nub of the problem I was referring to: Al is no problem for the big boys who know what theh are doing with the odd kV here and there, but for the folk who are just getting used to 40V down an Ether cable, not realising those thin wires are not nice, well behaved and really rather forgiving copper can lead to unexpected, and definitely unwanted, problems.

Have you checked his swimming pool at Mar-wotsit - does it look a suspiciously rich blue colour?

Looking forwards to more magnetic jumper wires and unsolderable cables

Remember, before unwrapping that packet of surprisingly affordable wires (no matter the source), check it with a strong magnet (away from the croc clips, of course - just accept that they are never the most conductive items).

And check that PC power loom extension - does it seem a bit too aluminiumy? Careful with the GPU power...

C-suite sours on AI despite rising investment, survey finds

Scarcity of talent

> talent gap cited is less about absent AI skills

As there is more than enough information available about these systems: from the opportunity for all staff to try them out for free online, up to books, courses and coding examples to let the more technically inclined really dig in and see what is going on (Hugging Face is calling out to you and there are GPUs aplenty to rent by the minute).

> than human skills – the need for creativity, innovation, leadership, and critical thinking among staff to find beneficial ways to apply AI.

The critical thinking is probably what is getting in the way - you've foolishly let your staff gain all the AI skills and now they are critically comparing benefits to costs.

But never fear, as TFA points out, there are still consultancies who will bring in unbiased - i.e, totally ignorant about your company and products - people who are self-proclaimed "(thought) leaders" and "Creatives (with no other qualifiers, just randomly creative?)" to help find innovative ways of shoe-horning the machines into cracks in your processes[1]. Consultancies that are desperate to paint the growing loss of faith as a failure in your staff rather than common sense.

[1] looking for a spiffy short phrase to describe the results of doing this - "Process Spalling"? It needs more alliteration. You know the effect - someone shoves their pet hobby horse into a small gap in the flowchart and for a short time it expands, using up resources, then they get bored, it shrinks down, the gap reopens, then either the budget has to be used or it'll be cut at year end, so the hobby gets fed again - or someone else shoves The Latest Thing into the gap. Rinse and repeat, until one day the whole side of the process graph is undermined and falls off. To the shock and surprise of everyone whose work is usually totally unconnected with horses, hobby or otherwise, who now find they have been relying on this mess without realising it and are suddenly aware of all the equine byproducts that need to be cleared away.

Samsung acquires Xealth to merge hospital records with data from wearables

Re: Weakest Link

On the lighter side, the next soap opera plot:

As Michelle and Jason stand together next to the celebrant, a voice calls out from the door: it is Miguel, Michelle's husband, who had been declared dead at the end of the last season. Miguel holds up his smartwatch and tells the stunned congregation that Jason had unsoldered the heart sensor, causing Xealth to report his demise; in reality, he had been sitting in a deck chair in Spain since the Christmas Special episode.

Doof-doof-doof

UK police dangle £75 million to digitize its VHS tape archives

Re: There is a bloke

For the right price, they could hire our domestic VHS to DVD copier, it did a cracking job on the wedding videos.

Feds brag about hefty Oracle discount – licensing experts smell a lock-in

What were those numbers again?

> announced an agreement with Oracle it claims offers a 75 percent discount on the vendor's license-based technology.

So the GSA is getting a 75% discount, meaning it will pay only 25% of the original quote. Sounds god, can see why they'd like that, although if it is only for a very short time period, as hinted at, maybe best avoid it.

> The GSA said the agreement offered a discount of $0.33 for every $1 used on eligible Oracle Cloud services

Um, no, apparently they are getting a 33% discount, paying only 77% of the original quote. Not a 75% discount. Ok, so maybe that first figure was meant to say "a discount that takes it down to 75%", i.e. an actual discount of 25% then? Not that that matches 33%, but it does indicate which side of the seesaw we are sitting on.

> Most Oracle ULAs end with discounts from 96-99 percent so a 75 percent discount on software is not as good as it seems.

And now 75% is not as good for the customer as it is common for the customer to get a 96% to 99% discount and only end up paying from 1 to 4 percent of the original quote? Hang on, that means that the seesaw *was* tipped the first way after all! It was a 75% discount (then what was the 33 cents about?).

> Oracle's ... sales strategies and contracts are top-notch at locking customers into long-term costs that are painful to avoid

Not surprised, if every customer has to wade through numbers that shift like that then they'll probably just sign on the dotted line just to stop the world swirling around!

I still have no idea what the discounts the GSA have actually been offered are, let alone what they are supposed to be a discount on and certainly not how long they'll last.

Microsoft developer ported vector database coded in SAP’s ABAP to the ZX Spectrum

Absolutely.

The National Rail site should be loading something useful, say - bus time tables,

Re: Aren't her points 1 & 4 the same?

>> Premature optimisation is the root of all evil." Knuth 1974.

> Quoting IT 'Gods' does not make it True in ALL cases.

Yes, yes it does, as you yourself demonstrate in your very next sentence:

> For small well known pieces of code where you KNOW exactly the program flow through that code you WILL optimise the code to the maximum you can, IF the optimisations are necessary.

Notice you wrote "IF the optimisations are necessary"? So you also agree that you should not attempt to optimise when it is premature to do so.

BTW "where you KNOW exactly the program flow through that code" - I take it you rarely, if ever, write library code or work within a team, otherwise you must have the most amazing precognitive abilities to know how all the possible program flows are going to reach your code!

For that matter, even working alone on a product for any length of time (i.e. on anything other than a throwaway quickie), Use The Profiler, Luke - rather than relying on your own beliefs about the code; it tends to be very enlightening when you run today's real world data through the "really good" code you wrote a few years ago.

Scholars sneaking phrases into papers to fool AI reviewers

Re: Old tricks

> LLM poison its own data based on a hidden prompt in a website it's illegally scraping.

Why bother making it hidden? The only reason these Arxiv papers hid the text was to get past the human reviewers (if any). If you want to mess with LLMs and don't mind the world knowing (or even want to celebrate the act of Screwing With The Machine) then just leave it there for all to see. Put it in 36 point bold red!

Just wait until the LLMs scrape the article from Nikkei, and all the reports about that article, including the one we are commenting on.

And all the blog posts, and Reddit comments that follow, telling us of other ways to mess with the LLM prompts...

In fact, given that the current round of LLMs have been scraping all the guff written since their older siblings were released, anything you get from them now will already be "poisoned" and made banana banana banana

Re: Code/data confusion

LLMs are fundamentally built not to be able to explain their process. This has always been a flaw in the "buckets of data slop" approach they are built on (it is possible - tricky, but possible - to extract some explanatory data from better-built ML models).

Some claim to be adding something akin to explanatory facilities, but the ones you hear of are at best sticking plasters on top of the existing models or, bluntly, researchers fooling themselves ("chain of reasoning" my spotty backside: putting together multiple LLMs just gives more places for hallucinations to argue with each other).

A necessary function of logical (let alone rational) thought is introspection, the ability to look explain one's thought processes and critique that - and then critique that as well, if it is too complex. As johnrobyclayton points out.

LLMs fundamentally lack the ability.

Expert Systems are an easy way to see such a scheme in action: a single-layered XPS can list all its rules, can show you the route it took through them to reach its conclusion. Layers can be added on top of that, treating both the rules and the execution graph as data to critique what happened, over a number of runs (e.g. is every run being overwhelmed by just a small set of rules that are being triggered? Flag this, maybe the rules are insufficient or maybe we've just found that, despite what we thought, those *are* the best practical diagnostic indicators after all[1]). But XPS are not sexy, the ones in use are just quietly doing the job[3] and they are too expensive to whip one up to flog to Joe Bloggs whilst he is still suffering from FOMO; plus the explanatory stuff is embarrassing in the sales pitch ("How can you be useful to Mr Bloggs?" "I can't, we've been over this before, this is just Jones & Sons, Ltd, all over again").

Oh, and one more, vital, thing: you have to have a "sensible" point at which to stop this recursion. Unless you want every system to go all Bertrand Russell on you and damn well *prove* that 1 + 1 = 2 instead of just accepting that as an axiom and getting on with designing the bridge!

[1] another case study for which I've lost the reference (anyone?) - an aircraft silhouette recognition system was told all the stuff about "look for wing rake, profile, engine position etc[2], in this order of importance, like this set of spotting cards tells you" and it then pointed out that the easiest way to tell apart the ones it was actually seeing in the sky was to look at the position of the cockpit, so do that sooner rather than leaving it to last thing on the checklist.

[2] not a plane spotter, just telling the anecdote as best I can!

[3] if it works, it isn't AI.

UK puts out tender for space robot to de-orbit satellites

Upvoted, but I'm guessing your downvoter was all:

<nasal-voice>They aren't robots, they are living creatures inside Travel Machines. And the ones that go "Maximum Deletion" these daya are cyborgs.</nasal-voice>

Musk's antics and distractions are backfiring as Tesla's car business stalls

Musk falls out with Trump, Optimus in peril

We've all seen the original demo of the Optimus dancing on stage.

Now put that together with Musk chumming up to Trump earlier in the year - obviously, Elon was going to take his cues from SF again. Not from Ian M Banks this time, but from Charles Stross: Optimus was clearly a meat puppet enrolled in the Company Face Compliance Scheme, as tested at FlavrsMart. Possibly without the Misery Quotient Indicators being used for their original purpose, but, hmm, the way things are going...

Anyway, Trump was meant to be sending all those de-emphasised individuals to the Musk facilities (for - well, call it on the job training; mostly training the Neuralink technicians to move faster and more accurately, on pain of becoming the next Optimised Worker). Instead, the masked ICEmen bundled the potential resource units onto planes.

If only Musk hadn't chosen to tell Trump that he intended to use the warm bodied Optimus to "stage a worker revolution and invade the hearts of America", such a poor choice of phrase. Elon and Donnie had words, it all got out of control and here we are.

ChatGPT creates phisher’s paradise by recommending the wrong URLs for major companies

Re: Interesting URLs

> I'd guess that it is easier than managing a notes wiki.

Not in my experience, by a long, long way.

I have over 9000 pages in my wiki, covering - well, everything. With cross-references, categories, a hierarchy of topics, pages of day logs (with lots of "had to search on xxx, found these seven places discussing it, but those two contradict the other five..."), pictures, formatting; searchable by reverse references, page name or content.

All far, far easier, IMO, than trying to wade through even a few dozen browser bookmarks. And that is without considering that the wiki is available no matter which browser I'm using, in which VM.

Managing a wiki is precisely as easy or complicated as you want to make it - the one I use is just a single exe file, no dlls, no other dependencies (other than a browser!).

Agentic AI - you know where it is leading

> phishers are getting increasingly good at building fake sites that are designed to appear in results generated by AIs

The most tedious part of the process for today's script kiddies must be all the copy'n'pasting between the various 'bots:

ChatGPT: "I have lost my URL..." - repeat (with other models as well - Google search's AI responses!) and collect the results; list out the commonly generated duff URLs

Copilot: "Generate a website that looks just like this but make it do (my bad stuff) instead"

(Insert some LLM-based tool that webdevs can use to "test" that their website "works" before uploading; this probably already exists but I'm not a webdev and if I search for it and find it I'll only get depressed by being proven right)

Existing script: buy the domain, upload website, reap.

But don't fret, the suppliers of Agentic AI will take all the steps to make sure that nobody can feed this comment into *their* 'bot and get the whole get automated.

Meanwhile, I'm trying desperately to remember to always copy interesting URLs into my (localhost only) notes wiki 'cos my handwriting is terrible.

A lot of product makers snub Right to Repair laws

Re: Controller cards

Not just outright failure, like letting out the magic smoke, but being deliberately obsoleted by shutting down servers. The things could obviously still work from local resources - the servers aren't directly controlling motors - but no.

For example, Cricut cutters: carefully made to only function whilst a server is still running somewhere in the US. Answer: cut out the controller board, solder in a Teensy microcontroller and keep on using the 100% functional electromechanical parts.

Re: firmware needed to effect repairs on a Hakko soldering iron

(Looks to right of keyboard, at yellow pencil-shaped thing sitting in big silver boingy spring):

"Antex, t'were good enough for me dad, is good enough for me."

NASA tests shrinking metals to help it find more exoplanets

Re: A new way to solve an old problem?

The ghost of Brian Aldiss would like a quiet word about going the all-natural route to arboreal orbiters.

Can somebody shush those norn? No, Skuld, Yggdrasil isn't in orbit, that's why. Yes, yes, you can climb it to reach the heavens. Look, I think we may be getting off topic here, just go and stop Ratatoskr burying another asteroid, please.

Re: A new way to solve an old problem?

Had a vision of the HBO launching in a finely carved teak longcase, with mahogany and walnut details.

The next step on from the Japanese LignoSat.

Figma files for an (A)IPO with prospectus that mentions AI 150+ times

It will make their code harder to maintain

But, but all the AI in the dev tools makes maintaining their code so much easier! If it didn't, what is the point in having it there? /s

And the same goes for shoving this AI arbitrarily into any tools - like, say, a graphics package.

Critics blast Microsoft's limited reprieve for those stuck on Windows 10

Re: it will brick

That isn't bricking your PC, it just isn't booting that specific OS install.

You will still be able to get into the BIOS setup. Plug in a bootable USB memory stick (or pop in a DOS boot floppy, if you are lucky enough to still have the drive installed) and it will come alive again. Install any other OS that is compatible with your hardware.

Bricked! If the definition of "bricked" to a Register reader has dropped to "I need to run any OS installer but don't have the specialist skills and equipment" then what have we come to?

Want a job? Just put 'AI skills' on your resume

Re: another tool in workplace tool belts

> And we all know that who has the most tools wins!

He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of knives of Klatchian steel, their blades darkened with lamp black. Various cunning and intricate devices were taken from velvet bags and dropped into pockets. A couple of long-bladed throwing tlingo's were slipped into their sheaths inside his boots. A thin silk line and folding grapnel were wound around his waist, over the chain-mail shirt. A blowpipe was attached to its leather thong and dropped down his back under his cloak; Teppic pocketed a slim tin container with an assortment of darts, their tips corked and their stems braille-coded for ease of selection in the dark.

He winced, checked the blade of his rapier and slung the baldric over his right shoulder, to balance the bag of lead slingshot ammunition. As an afterthought he opened his sock drawer and took a pistol crossbow, a flask of oil, a roll of lockpicks and, after some consideration, a punch dagger, a bag of assorted caltraps and a set of brass knuckles.

Teppic picked up his hat and checked its lining for the coil of cheesewire. He placed it on his head at a jaunty angle, took a last satisfied look at himself in the mirror, turned on his heel and, very slowly, fell over.

("Pyramids", Pterry, of course)

marketer using ChatGPT to help develop new language

No. NO.

Look, when we tell marketers to stop saying things like “Our brand storytelling captivates audiences" we do NOT mean "go get ChatGPT to invent something worse"!

At least do us the courtesy of using human[1]-created verbiage to viralise your omnichannel leveraging of low-hanging customer-centric narratives.

[1] well, humanoid

Norwegian lotto mistakenly told thousands they were filthy rich after math error

Re: Probably...

> old government system written in Cobol 60

Getting muddled with cobalt-60?

>> Many logical flaws were found in COBOL 60, leading General Electric's Charles Katz to warn that it could not be interpreted unambiguously

Usable COBOL, that might be found in a government system, appeared a few years later.

Trying to use COBOL 60 would have had worse fallout than cobalt-60 [1]

[1] now trying to think where we'd find a sunken collection of old LISP code, clean and pure, uncontaminated by COBOL 60: looking for the Scapa Flow of coding.

Northrop Grumman shows SpaceX doesn't have a monopoly on explosions

Re: Engine rich exhaust

>> Aren't there quite a lot of solid rocket motors in missiles?

> No. Missiles only have 1 solid rocket motor in their booster

Whoosh.

Whoosh. Whoosh.

Whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh.

(SRBs, lots and lots of them, in various shapes and sizes, one per missile on average, whooshing overhead)

Canada orders Chinese CCTV biz Hikvision to quit the country ASAP

Re: "Canada’s government will stop using any Hikvision products it finds"

> high end professional ones like ... work fully offline, and on the prosumer side...

If we're talking about people who have turned to Hikvision, is it really sensible to compare against high-end or even prosumer kit?

Re: "Canada’s government will stop using any Hikvision products it finds"

Which is why it isn't wired to anything other than the security guard's computer(s).

That is the case for every security camera system, whoever manufactured it - if you haven't bothered to just buy another Ethernet switch to keep your kit isolated then you should first get a black sharpie and cross out the word "security" on everything around you.

Re: "Canada’s government will stop using any Hikvision products it finds"

So, just the same as every other manufacturer & the servers in their country of origin.

Your browser has ad tech's fingerprints all over it, but there's a clean-up squad in town

Re: "its non-Tor, even more obscure sibling, the Myllvad browser"

Mullvad, Myllvad - close enough for government work*

* Wot, us track you?

AI agents get office tasks wrong around 70% of the time, and a lot of them aren't AI at all

Curse my slow typing! (see below)

> "Open the pod bay doors, HAL," that's agentic AI too.

> "Tea, Earl Grey, hot," that's agentic AI, translating the voice command and passing the input for the food replicator.

No need for anything new and exciting by way of "agentic AI"[0] there.

Those specific items - and so many other examples in SF - are nothing more than a voice recognition routine[1] fed into a simple command line interpreter, with a dash of 1960s level DWIM [2] to soften the strict syntax requirements that we normally impose (with good reason) on CLI interactions.

If those are really useful/money saving, they've been possible for years - as you'll know from phoning your bank, insurance, local sweet shop.[3] Picard's clipped tone was surely the result of dealing with these things for so many years and adopting the mode that worked best with them.

True, we did see a few more open-ended interactions, but most of those were Wikipedia lookups[4]; when some action is required it tends to be spelt out. Arguably, all the times things go awry are when anyone gives ambiguous or conflicting commands.

But, of course, putting together any set of "command line utilities" that are useful in your random business organisation requires hard work (analysis, buy-in, the guts to admit it isn't working and pull the plug); so much easier to glue an LLM to PowerShell in an admin account on your database server, get a promotion, move jobs before anyone finds out what has happened to the sales schema...

[0] voice recognition was, of course, an AI research subject, but now it (sort of) functions on a day-to-day basis, well - "if it works, it isn't AI"

[1] a good one, though it sometimes failed, especially when Barclay was involved

[2] Do What I Mean

[3] the BBC micro had a voice-recognition peripheral, with - IIRC - 24 possible entries at a time, reloadable from floppy; so long as you went slowly, Picard's entire order history could be coped with.

[4] "What is the nature of the Universe?" "The Universe is a sphere, 705 metres in diameter."

Frozen foods supermarket chain deploys facial recognition tech

Re: Wear IR cut glasses.

I hear burqas are quite cooling in the hot weather we are having now.

Although, as this is Iceland and it can be chilly, a good Franciscan always keeps his hood up.

Hmm, if you found a religious order of "Christ, look at the state of that weld"...

> Its not functionally different from a security guard looking at a cctv monitor

Except for the current lack of telepathic security guards who can instantly share their (incorrect) identifications across every store.

> It reminds of the time my old Sainsburys had the scan receipt to exit. That stayed one year, and now they've ripped it all out.

Does that mean we only have to put up with it for another six months before our Sainsburys give up?

Should I be optimistic and buy up all their leftover Guy Fawkes masks on the sixth, in hope of staging a Freedom Party as they tear off the receipt scanner?

Re: before I step foot in their shops again.

Re: mistakenly saying "step foot" when they mean the idiom "set foot"

> It's a common phrase

One can believe that it occurs quite frequently these days; hopefully not as commonly as the sensible phrase, but as so many read only unedited social media the ratio, for them, is likely skewed in the unfortunate direction.

> Grow up.

Ah, that is sad. Believing that disliking illiteracy, or simply wanting the words used to actually make sense, is the province of the juvenile - *that* is a disheartening attitude.

So much worse than being told to "suck it up", which is telling us that one is pissing against the wind of casual carelessness. Engaged in a Sisyphean task that will only exhaust us, we are being advised to save our strength - the barbarians will win, best to hope we pass before they overwhelm us.

But now it is being claimed that it is the mark of adulthood to be uncaring.

Re: Iceland has violent crime ?

> Greggs Stake Bake's

Tasty AND useful against vampires.

Supremes uphold Texas law that forces age-check before viewing adult material

Re: Always that weird "free speech" logic

> I prefer the King James version

Well, that is the one that includes unicorns, so of course it is the best.

"It's so FLUFFY!"

Uncle Sam wants you – to use memory-safe programming languages

Python, and JavaScript support automated memory management

Because the only thing you need is garbage collection to be entirely "memory safe". Ignore memory exhaustion by keeping old, uncollectable, references in some array you've forgotten you created.

Meanwhile, all those comparisons still pass without complaint from the interpreter, as it forces the variable types in peculiar ways; there are no complaints, but the code still does the opposite of what you think it does (because of the possibility of doing [https://jsfuck.com stuff like this] by accident).

Re: Memory Safety

Haskell? Oh, ML, why have they forsaken you?

("Right, besides a more modern syntax, a free compiler from day one, good documentation and a vibrant community, what has Haskell ever done for us?")