Posts by Dizzy Dwarf

Signal says it'll shut down in UK if Online Safety Bill approved

Re: You know ...

That has me down as Chaotic Evil

Titanic mass grave site to be pillaged for NFTs

Unfortunately ...

... there will be no shortage of ghouls willing to pay good money for something they won't actually own.

Yukon UFO could have cost unfortunate balloon fan $12

Re: Cost

Just need to figure out the shark/goose brain interface and we're flying/swiming.

Re: Cost

Resting down in Cornwall writing up his memoir.

Outage-ous: Twitter OKs cannabis ads, then goes up in smoke

Re: Would it be cruel...

Dude, I think we're parked.

systemd 253: You're looking at the future of enterprise Linux boot processes

I do wish systemd would just fuck off

Way to ruin the weekend. Thanks for that.

Hyundai and Kia issue software upgrades to thwart killer TikTok car theft hack

Re: Um...

It activates the ejector-seat. Hope you got the optional sunroof.

Wow, so they actually let AI fly an F-16 fighter jet

"Launched in 2019"

2019 ... Wow - I guess AIs don't need the loo.

US defense forces no match for the unstoppable fiend known as Reply-All

I feel most sorry for ...

... whoever hits reply-all and has requested read-receipts.

UK prepares to go it alone on post-Brexit science plan

Scientists collaborating across borders, even opposing sides during wartime, has long been a thing.

All the barriers, all of them artificial, are put in place, maintained and reinforced, by the politicians.

US military spends weekend shooting down Useless Floating Objects

It's just like Roswell

Or, maybe, it's just like the opposite of Roswell.

What with all the 'could be a UFO - not saying' bollocks and all that.

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

Re: Basic Business B****cks

Basic Business Bedsocks???? What??

Google's AI search bot Bard makes $120b error on day one

Parry + Eliza

Just sellotape the handsets speaker-to-mike and let them get on with it, already.

Scientists conclude cats only have three personalities after YouTube clip binge

Re: Our cat is called Schrodinger

Mate had a cat was called "bin Laden" - nobody knew where he was.

Mon Dieu! Suspected French ShinyHunters gang member in the dock

Re: "Too many bad actors..."

https://www.theregister.com/2021/11/26/bofh_2021_episode_21/

Lockheed Martin demos 50kW anti-aircraft frickin' laser beam

Re: The Navy Version...

This is why the army version has tanks - for the sharks.

James Webb Space Telescope suffers another hitch: Instrument down

I think have have some tamper-evident tape. It'll void the warranty.

Laser-wielding boffins bend lightning to their will

Indeed - this is why you rarely see sharks close to airports. It's a CAA thing.

Move over, Kraftwerk: These musical instruments really are the robots

Re: (Talking of Deep Purple) - The acid test...

Don't make me point to the sign

Non-binary DDR5 is finally coming to save your wallet

Re: Non-binary memory?

They'll use the LGBTQIADDR5+ loos.

'What's the point of me being in my office, just because they want to see me in the office?'

Re: If everyone is back in the office..

iPlayer. On the office PC.

Guess the most common password. Hint: We just told you

I once ...

Watched the super bowl as a student, so I thought it would be a good idea to go to the lab and change my password to cincinatty.

I can't event spell sinsinnati sober.

Security firms hijack New York trees to monitor private workforce

Re: Tree torture

It's nothing new ...

In days of yore,

when knights were bold

and women weren't invented,

they drilled a hole

in a telegraph-pole

and had to be contented.

This ancient quasar may be the remains of the first-gen star that started us all

Re: In the beginning, there was no heavy metal

ObXKCD

https://xkcd.com/2340/

Microsoft's Lennart Poettering proposes tightening up Linux boot process

Re: Poettering ..............

https://me.me/i/owhat-the-fuck-othis-othat-the-man-dit-oyes-doff-71b13fe912f948539522959e1c56caae

They've handlily left a space where you can write in 'Poettering'.

(although, to save everyone's time, they may as well have pre-printed it)

ISS dodges space junk from satellite Russia blew up

Re: RE: Roscosmos has said it will have something ready by 2028.

Nice how that says "Retiring soon"

New measurement alert: Liz Truss inspires new Register standard

Re: Trivia question for the future

The Curtsy of Death

What's the symbol?

Tr, Ts, something else?

How I made a Chrome extension for converting Reg articles to UK spelling

Re: Concerns

> 4. One day it would be great to translate TR into other languages.

Back into Klingon, as originally written, obviously.

Don't want to start a language war, but

C is so much better than C++

Liz Truss ousted as UK prime minister, outlived by online lettuce

Got the popcorn ready for Question Time

Already feeling sorry for tonight's sacrificial Tory

Scientists model turbulence to boost space propulsion

Re: Ah, thermodynamics

Ah, well, yes, that is proper rocket science.

Re: Ah, thermodynamics

And it's quantum dynamics you don't understand

Re: Ah, thermodynamics

Not thermo - Fluid dynamics

iPhone 14 car crash detection triggered by roller coasters

Re: GPS ?

Yes, this is exactly what geo-fencing is for.

Juno what? Jovian moon Europa is looking rugged

Re: Roadworks

Intelligences vast and cool and unsympathetic.

Envious eyes, drawing up plans, etc.

Luckily the chances are a million to one.

Re: Can we get the water back here?

And just miss Venus. Splash some of that excess atmosphere away.

The three decimal places here are critical

780 million km is 5571428571428.571 Linguine

Boffins hunt and kill cockroaches with machine vision laser

Re: "more effective and environmental friendly approaches are needed"

DE = Diatomaceous Earth?

This hero probe will smash into an asteroid to see if we can deflect future killer rocks

Re: Typo

Calm down everyone.

We don't want to have to call out the St John's Ambulance.

A match made in heaven: systemd comes to Windows Subsystem for Linux

namespaces

Sometimes you do, see: pid_namespaces(7)

for containers, v-motion-ing, things I don't understand, etc.

Chinese researchers make car glide 35mm above ground in maglev test

That's just high tech aquaplaning

Well done.

Chances good for NASA Artemis SLS Moon launch on Saturday

Re: Massive Moon Rocket

Oh noes - Measles/Mumps/Rubella

Claims of AI sentience branded 'pure clickbait'

I feel bad already, but ...

... I'm gonna start being rude to customer support merely on the assumption they're just an AI.

NASA's Lunar Orbiter spots comfortably warm 'pits' all over the Moon

Re: No soup for you.

With the simple and practical addition of a dustbin lid we can raise the temperature to a toasty 20°C

Dev's code manages to topple Microsoft's mighty SharePoint

Re: Exchange

C&V please

First-ever James Webb Space Telescope image revealed

BBC has ...

"Light from galaxies that has taken many billions of light-years to reach us"

Next they'll be making the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

Re: Correction or have I misunderstood...?

Also - not being in Earth's shadow rather helps the solar panels.

These centrifugal moon towers could be key to life off-planet

Stupid idea

This is like one of those nausea inducing fair-ground rides, except that they only last for five minutes, then you get to stagger off and recover in the nearest hedge.

It would work in free fall - in orbit. With a much larger diameter and a slower rotation.

Not on the Moon/Mars, with their own existing direction of down. You'd just be falling over sideways all the time. Also everything would be steeply uphill.

Wash your mouth out with shape-shifting metal

When the world has turned into Grey Goo

at least it’ll smell minty-fresh.