Posts by Dizzy Dwarf

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

Firefly returns for season two.

Airbus to test sat-stabilizing 'Detumbler' to simplify astro-garbage disposal

Magnetorque Coil

This is just a magnetorque coil plus some marketing.

Woman jailed after RentaHitman.com assassin turned out to be – surprise – FBI

Re: I hate to say this, but it's sad that there are homo sapiens so f'in stupid

“editorializing”

You are GWB and I claim my £2

https://rentahitman.com/

Love how they have a careers section.

In-memory database Redis wants to dabble in disk

Re: to make Redis "more like your classic database,"

Sounds like you don't actually need a database at all.

You snooze, you lose? It's not quite as simple as that

Re: Clock

> sabretooth tigers and cave bears

And dinosaurs. Don’t forget the dinosaurs.

How 'AI watermarking' system pushed by Microsoft and Adobe will and won't work

C2PA?

Should've called it C2AP

Astronomers spot collision between two exoplanets, both feared vaporized

Re: feared vaporized

Obviously faked. I mean: just look at that shadow.

New information physics theory is evidence 'we're living in a simulation,' says author

"show a tendency towards declining disorder"

The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics disagrees with you.

Obscured by clouds: Time for IaaS vendors to come clean and play fair

Re: Obscured by clouds

Yep, one of their best. Perfect on Sunday mornings.

Never mind SETI and NASA, if your Ring somehow snaps ET, Amazon might give you $1M

Sorry but ... mobile phones have decent cameras.

And everyone has one. If ET was flying around in his UFO, there would be plenty of footage.

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

I'm going to stare at the door ...

... until one of my human slaves gets off of their fat lazy arse and opens it for me.

Honestly, you can't get the staff these days.

CERN experiment proves gravity pulls antimatter the way Einstein predicted

It's all a tad disappointing.

There once was a lady named Jill ...

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine

Re: Wonderful episode once again!

In metal? Like this?

"Whät wöüld yöü hävë dönë ïf thïs wäs ä bömb?"

Scientists suggest possible solution to space-induced bone loss

Re: ...treatment for brain changes and other detrimental health effects of space exposure...

Angela Lansbury was a Vorlon agent.

How else do you explain the ruthless efficiency?

Google Bard can now tap into your Gmail, Docs, more

Re: Spot the problem

Attack of the Zombie Nyarlathotep meets the blind idiot technophiles from Mars, part 2: The Return!

Meet Honda's latest electric vehicle: A rideable suitcase

Re: They put a man on the moon ...

Yes, well, it's "facts" like that that ruin my joke.

Have an upvote.

They put a man on the moon ...

... before anybody thought of putting wheels on a suitcase.

And now this. Feels like humanity's going backwards.

Apple's iPhone 12 woes spread as Belgium, Germany, Netherlands weigh in

Reinheitsgebot

It might be fine to wash the phone down with chlorine and hold it next to your ear in the USA. Not in Europe.

---> since it's Friday

Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite

Re: One Good Earworm Deserves Another

I know a song that'll get on your nerves,

Get on your nerves,

Get on your nerves,

I know a song that'll get on your nerves,

Get-get-get on your nerves.

[repeat ad nauseam]

I'm amazed they didn't provide a link.

Re: Ear-vermicide

I used to love Trumpton as a kid. It's easy to forget Lemmy wrote the theme tune.

Here he is on set: <https://www.friday-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/2634-celebs.jpg>

Long-lost 1977 Star Wars X-Wing prop discovered – lock s-foils in bid position

Re: I mostly want

A rather suspiciously-shaped rocket crafted by Jein for Flesh Gordon – Click to … enlarge^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hengorge

PEBCAK problem transformed young techie into grizzled cynical sysadmin

Re: Assumption

Never ... because it makes a donkey out of you and me.

Okay, SMART ePANTS, you tell us how to create network-connected textiles

Re: RFD (Request for Development)

Drokk, I think you've invented the Lawgiver. "Heatseeker!".

What happens when What3Words gets lost in translation?

viz

All locations would be: bum.fuck.willy.poo

Problem solved.

Japan complains Fukushima water release created terrifying Chinese Spam monster

♪ I need a Kaiju, I'm holding out for a Kaiju 'til the end of the night ♪

Re: Carbon 14

There's an xkcd for that - https://xkcd.com/2321/

Tritium? Wasn't she the one with the annoying voice from Hitchhiker's Guide?

Want tech cred? Learn how to email like a pro

Re: nope

Only if you have all the email history available. And, even then it's a lot of work.

Pretend you only have the one email - this is why top-posting is bad.

Maker of Chrome extension with 300,000+ users tells of constant pressure to sell out

I can't help but see ...

... "Anashkin Skywalker"

Let's hope the dark-side is not too tempting.

Official science: People do less, make more mistakes on Friday afternoons

Re: Actually...

Show the on-call person the love: Friday afternoon into a bank holiday weekend.

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

Nothing happens

Re: Spoiler alert - game solution

Think that’s how you get rescued from the loose face-hugger.

After fears that Europe's space scope was toast, its first images look mighty fine

"Here's looking at Euclid"

Lovely stuff, well done :)

On the record: Apple bags patent for iDevice to play LPs

Re: Had to have been filed 2021-04-01?

> Gatefold sleeves

Yeah, man. It's really hard to skin up on an mp3.

What does Twitter's new logo really represent?

Re: old primary school joke

I remember it as:

An ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure.

Re: Obvious really,

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World ... should've used a W

Blue Bird Logo

"The blue bird logo ... was constructed like a geometrical diagram, from 15 overlapping circles."

Just like the Sydney Opera House. Except in 2d. Nice.

A room-temperature, ambient-pressure superconductor? Take a closer look

Re: Apatite

It doesn't make any sense to me.

So, it must be Perl.

NASA awards $150 million to prototype tech for humans on the Moon, and above it

Shutterstock

What an awful image.

Ripoff Vuitton handbag smaller than a grain of salt fetches $63,750 at auction

Nice photos ...

... But where is the "... Click to enlarge"?

Time running out for crew of missing Titanic tourist submarine

Re: Lots of things are possible

Fry: "How deep can this thing go?"

Professor Farnsworth: "This is a spaceship: its pressure rating is between one and zero"

False negative stretched routine software installation into four days of frustration

But, that would mean that there would've been unexpected garbage early on.

Was the installer only scanning the log file at the very end of the install process?

Scientists think they may have cracked life support for Martian occupation

Re: How about plants ?

I asked MOTHER. The crew are expendable.

WTF is solid state active cooling? We’ve just seen it working on a mini PC

Re: “blow-suck”

Yep :)

Re: “blow-suck”

Not really a job either.

More like a suck-hobby.

Re: Frore is being cagey about the tech inside the AirJet, so caveat emptor.

Ah, so like that unidirectional oxygen-free copper. I have that in my hi-fi speaker cables.

Absolute mad lad renders Doom in teletext

Re: I'll just leave this here

And there goes my evening :)