* Posts by Steve

6 posts • joined 14 Sep 2007

Natasha Henstridge braces for Impact


Movie Highlights

A dwarf star hits the moon?!? I guess we can kiss Earth goodbye as well. I can just see highlights from the movie.

Unknown (?) gravitational fluctuations are disturbing the orbits of the planets. Scientists raise concern; government officials down-play them.

V’ger …er Voyager captures a picture of the sneaky dwarf star arriving at our solar system. Upon viewing said picture, some intellectual elite says, “OMG what is that?” or something equally as witty.

Scientists discover from the picture that the dwarf star is traveling at near light speeds. That is why it wasn’t seen before now.

Government decides not to panic the populous by creating a media freeze on the subject and locking down that Internet thing. Of course, said government officials prepare to head for the hills.

A domestically challenged hero decides that the government is up to something and is prepared to find out no matter what the cost. Of course said individual has some romantic tie involved in all this, so the information isn’t hard to discover.

The truth comes out and nobody cares as it doesn’t seem important, not! This is a Hollywood production there will be a total civic break down with everyone and their dog running around looting and pillaging. You know everyone is just looking for an excuse to party. Riots, car wrecks, fires, explosions, and plenty of other man-made mayhem occur. The heroes of the movie will have to drive, fly, run, shoot, and fight their way to the top of the heap just to reach the next Act.

The government has a plan to stop the dwarf star. Oh really?!? With some special upgrades, the space shuttle will transport a super star buster bomb to the dwarf star. The resulting explosion will knock it away from the Earth. We’re saved. But wait, the dwarf star is travelling at near light speed, how do we reach it. No problem, the space shuttle will slingshot around the Sun. Hey it worked in Star Trek IV.

The romantic heroes part ways with one boarding the shuttle and the other wondering how they got into this career wreck of a movie.

Before the shuttle reaches its target, an angst ridden crew member tries to destroy the shuttle and everyone on board. The hero goes mono-a-mono with the doomsday crew member and barely wins. Don’t forget to add burns, grease stains, and ripped clothing.

The bomb is launched but …wait for it…it detonates in the wrong place. The dwarf star is partially deflected, but it will still take out the Moon. As the moon gets ripped apart, the hero on the shuttle wonders if it is too late to cancel this contract.

Not to be out done by mankind, mother Earth cranks up the natural disaster meter to 10+. The hero left behind struggles to survive against all odds and look good while doing it.

The dwarf star passes, the romantic heroes are reunited and everything returns to an Eden like bliss. As long as you don’t mind the mutants and zombies that start to appear. Huh??? Guess there will be a sequel.

Telco firm, Coke sponsor Filipino crucifixion festival


Old Jingle

It used to be "Have a Coke and a Smile", but I'm not so sure now.

NASA reveals Moon's rugged south pole


Elevation scale wrong?

Is it just me, or is the elevation scale backwards? It seems that the purple/violet color is lower than the orange. Also, it seems that the blue is lower than the green. Maybe it is just an optical illusion thing, and I need some caffeine to wake up.

Flying cow destroys minivan


No Fly List

Looks like they need to add an udder name to the list.

Judge orders football website to name 'libellous' posters


In Other Words

People with overweening self-opinion seek to slap down name callers. News at 11.

Kung fu monks battle Colombian karate assassins


How could you forget

Jet Li or Jackie Chan. I'd pick them to win in a martial arts showdown.


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