* Posts by Matt

132 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Feb 2007

Scottish? You're drinking too much



the Japanese love their after work drink (it's compulsory) I remember one show I saw where one guy they stopped was the Managing director of a company apparently he'd finished off a large number of beers + several sakes

Another person when asked "arn't you scared you'll die of liver failure"

she replied "no I'm scared I'll die of stress"

That's a feeling I can relate too. Do gooders get fucked I'm going to get tanked.

Fire service may charge for shifting fat people



Discuss -

your kid dies in a fire becouse the fire service is too busy moving a fatty on the other side of town.

Fatty should have to pay for a removal service to get its fat ass out of the house.

Google launches YouTube video-blocking contraption


Napster 2

Welcome to Napster Mark 2.

Anyone who used to use the service long ago in the darken days will remember.

El Reg deploys (extra) comment icons


O wait




Anon will misuse these icons however anon likes!

Boffins offer explanation for meteorite sickness



They've already taken over key parts of the Peruvian government!! Everyone grab a manual can opener and a base ball bat. The government doesn't want us to know they're in league with these Aliens.

But they've been tricked, the Aliens will harvest our organs in true cult sci-fi fashion!

Space makes germs more deadly



They're lab mice. Their sole reason to be is in the hope that the experiments conducted on them will help one day to cure sickness, preserve life, lead to better treatments, etc etc, of human beings.

Fuck the mice. There of course is a better alternative, that we test these things on retarded animal rights hippies instead. I quite like that idea.

As to the science - interesting. But we sci-fi types have always known that bugs get more nasty in space. Mmmmmhmmm

Copyright nagware accord reaches 30



never seen these messages... Ooooo that's becouse all the stuff I download doesn't include it lol.

I loved how suddenly pirate dvds supported terrorism after 9/11 that made me lol hard.

Anyway legit dvds are a pain in the arse, you're forced to watch superior bullshit before getting to watch your film/series/whatever. No such problem on a good pirate.

Pirates and downloaders, giving people what they want.

BitTorrent-busters busted by BitTorrent



meh you can keep your crappy xvid and your ogg

give me my .h264 and my avi


Innocent 'terror techie' purges DNA records



ACtually the chances are far higher if I recall then 1 in a billion becouse one as certain markers are taken, the chances are in the one to million and chances going well up in case of being related.

Also you assume that your DNA is going to be labeled correctly (which infact in this case the DNA wasn't even labeled correctly - it said he'd been convicted) and that the right dna is going to be placed against your data. Even if the information is incorrect you'll have a whale of a time proving that the computer is wrong.

"But that's not my dna"

"well the computer says it is"

"well it's not, here's the evidence"

"Doesn't matter sonny, all I need is the computer or an exceptional circumstance to get the computer fixed, and you son arn't exceptional."

Our police do repeatedly show themselves as being more then willing to ignore contradictory evidence in order to push up figures when there's an easy get out clause.

And yeah someone posted their own story about the letter box, shambolic and yet another example of the UK police forces "o look we've got dna evidence".


in fact

and for all their pointless draconian measures, propaganda and persecution of British Citizens, all that stopped a second round of bombers blowing up locations shortly after the 7/7 event was the bombers own failings.

Stopping a bomber at the last minute is the domain of fantasy and best left to Jack Bauer. Police should do get off the streets and start doing some god damn detecting, 'coz all police do is make me feel like I'm about to be arrested for something retarded.

yeah... attacks on our freedoms annoy me alot.



Third of the way through reading the guys site and it's sickening.

At least the Chinese are open about being an oppressive state. Absolutely discusting and makes me even more ashamed of the mindless fascist retards that have such powers in this once Great nation. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so damn inefficent.

The so called public nuisance was caused by the over active imagination of a group of idiotic flat foots with no common sense. Well accept maybe one guy who was obviously over ruled by his fucking idiot collegues who should all be fired for being incompetent prats.

It just goes to show the "If you've got nothing to hide" idiots.

Palm drowns Foleo at birth



You're not alone, but I doubt anything will come to market. everything's supposed to be bigger and better, or tiny. No room for efficent useful machines that you can just sit down and use.


that's a shame

ever since I saw that old ibm notebook (the one that was diddy and had 10 hour battery life and a cute anime maid that was only released in Japan (the laptop not the maid)) I've really really wanted a portable computer (you know, one with a battery that _lasts_ and is small, and has a proper screen and keyboard you can use) the kind of thing you can write propper documents on while trapped in economy class on the plane or writing reports at a convention on the move, also something that doesn't kill your back or shoulder dragging it about all weekend.

This now never to be seen box looks like it may have been able to do that, shame it was a palm. O well. I'll just have to live with my 2 hours battery life and tank like design.

Top judge: put everyone in UK on the DNA database


another thing

another thing


'Isn't one life saved worth more than your principals on DNA sharing?'


Now I'm sorry to point this out to everyone the polices job isn't to prevent crime.

The polices job is to solve and investigate crimes.

That's it. They don't exist to stop crimes that could theoretically happen. A crime happens, the police investigate and the courts convict.

The notion that police exist to prevent crime is a crazed misconception that has sprung up in the last few decades.

Crime is prevented via social measures (teaching, upbringining, mental health care, parks, etc) crime is solved by police and prosecuted by couts.



I think you'll find that it isn't about paranoia, it's about what could happen. It's about allowing our governments and institutions to have increadibly powerful tools and rights to intrude into our lives.

It all seems well and good now, but who knows what it could lead too, there are few things in this world that are really important, but freedom and liberty are most certainly at the top of the stack.


nothing to hide

nothing yet, nothing yet.

Logically it makes perfect sense to have everyone on a register so you're easy to track down and detain if your dna is found at the scene of a crime. But is it the kind of justice we want to support, crime not happening becouse everyone is on a database, everyone behaving becouse of being placed in an orderly system, numbered, registered and tracked.

Finding out what people were at a meeting organised for an anti government protest would be easy, turn up, sift the place for DNA and bingo, you have a list of names, cross referenece to the national ID register and you know where they all live, now just set the CCTV surveillance network to watch them 24/7 and you can ensure compliance.

It all makes perfect sense when it starts. We blindly wonder into hell happily handing over our souls on promises of utopia until one day we realise we're in a cage. Pehaps not literally but metaphorically, watched, studied, manipulated. Complaint and subserviant to the "government" to "society"

It is logical to give people drugs so that they are always happy and don't want to commit crimes, but is it right? It is logical to crush decent beneath your black steal toed boots to ensure a safe, orderly society, it makes sense, it's the only way to make sure that the "innocent citizens" are kept safe, the ever few ever dwindling "innocent citizens." It's the only way to keep people safe from themselves, the only way. List them, index them, watch them, teach them, in the end they'll learn that they should comply. It is in their interests to comply, it is the will of society.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

I'm quite sure that when the Germans supported Hitler they weren't expecting it would end up in the genocide of Jews. But in the begining it all made sense, order, work, safety, certainty, security, and it kept making sense until they finally stood back and saw the hell they had created.

I'm sure when Pol Pot rose to power or Lenin, that neither nation realised the realities they were brining to life.

It's easy to give away your freedom and your identity when promised with safety and security. It's easy to give way to logic. It's easy to say "I have nothing to hide".

I'm already on the DNA register (drunk and incapable on a public highway - I was asleep in a bush) and I'm quite sure I'll be on it forever.

However I think we're daydreaming into a police state. Quite blissful in our ignorance and happy in their promises.

UK Gambling Act is now in force


joined up thinking



on one hand they want to censor your internet to save the kids, while at the same time they want idiot parents to spend all their money gambling.

Joined up thinking people, joined up thinking.

yeah it's a slow day at the office.

Eurostar inaugurates UK high-speed track



What is the environmental impact of building a high speed rail link? I mean there's the cost of running all the building machines, the fact that power lines are always humming away, damage caused by clearing away natural habitat, etc, etc, etc...

Genghis Khan didn't much like gays



GK was actually good at winning wars until his hoard outstretched the limits of its supply lines.

Anyway didn't the church basically outlaw homosexuality 2000 years ago? I'm sure there was something about buggery in there.

Microsoft promises less-annoying Vista OS early next year



only a retard would upgrade their network to vista.

Hell we're only just replacing the last of our win 2k developer boxes (man what a nice clean uncluttered release 2k was, I only upgraded my machine last month and I was sad to see the old girl go.) XP is bareable once you cut out all the cancerous bloat. But this Vista is the new ME and the only person I've met who likes Vista also liked ME. Funny that.

Yahoo! seeks dismissal of China human rights lawsuit



and need I say Pakistan? Ruled by an oppresive military dictatorship - but it's alright coz they're with us...

Aussie gov anti-porn filter 'useless', says teen


no kids

man No kids on the internet would be brilliant.

Online games may become bearable again.

Anyway kids have no place online unless superviised, you wouldn't let your kid wonder around a city on their own you shouldn't let them on the internet unsupervised. If a person cares that much (lol what c--p) they'd go out of their way to ensure a safe environment for their kid.

You're the one who chose to bring a pc into the house you should be responsible for using it responsibly and ensuring others do so too. If you don't then that's your own fault, not the ISP's, not the internet site, not the government, yours.

People need to grow up, start taking responsibilty and stop passing the buck. A kids safety is the parents responsibility, live with it or don't have kids. Real simple. Sadly it seems most parents are just too thick, irresponsible and think it's the TV's job to be a nanny, the internets job to be a teacher and societies job to protects their vile offspring.

ISP based filtering is a waste of money, it's like pissing into a sea of piss. But hey that's what most government IT projects are, or doesn't anyone notice that?

O well, at least it isn't just us in Britain that like to piss money up the wall on bull schemes that'll never float. Enjoy your ever escalating bill and eventually abandoned project.



how they gonna filter https? ANon proxies? p2p exchange? im exchange? torrents? ddl? seriously, these technotards live in another universe.

mmmmmmm more snake oil, they can give me all the cash they like, and I'll give them a 100mb file full of zeros and say "it's as good as anything else you're gonna get... I do a line in bulls--t too if you're interested - does wonders for your health and well being."

Wii wins console war, market watcher claims


next gen

wait no, I just decided I still don't care, this evidently meaningless term next gen (now apparently simply refering to an iteration of a console family as opposed to a generation of technology and ability) which means isn't the wii... 2 generations ahead of the ps3 and 3 generations ahead of the 360, and shouldn't they all simply be called the current generation?

What are all you console fanboys gonna call the next gen of consoles the next next gen consoles? Seriously just call them the current consoles already.

And what do video games have to do with it mr Aussant? Allthough I wouldn't class those games as "modern" or "current" what on earth would stop them from being games just becouse of that? Please tell me where your logic comes from. At no point did I say the Wii was not a games console, nor did I say it was not a good games console. Nor did I say that the PS3 or the XBox 360 were good.

I am saying that placing the Wii in the same group as the 360 and ps3 is like putting an orange with two lemons, although they may all be citrus, they sure as hell arn't the same thing.

Anyway I have a pressing game of Call to Power to get back too, the Aztecs are building a few too many underwater coloniese for my liking and I may have to teach them a lesson with a dazzling array of icbms.



I don't think the Wii has enough grunt to decrypt high def h.264 content does it? Can't be sure but from what I see in its spec it couldn't, and if it can't do that - who cares?

Anyway I only turn the TV on at about 20:45 on a thursday (the tv is very old and takes a while to fully charge its lazooorz) so I can watch mock the week. Everything else is fansubs, fansubs, fansubs and I can watch those on my pc - hell if I did have an xbox 360 I could watch them on that aswell (seen as apparently it got h.264 recently) dunno about the ps3.

Actually I lie, when I have my mates around for beers and pizza we turn the tv on watch a few j-concerts or an other dvd. We even tend to go out and have fun.

Nintendo barely acknowledge the internet "We have online play but in order to play with other people they need your stupidly long code..." so of course people ended up setting up forums to exchange these codes.

I think they recently announced their first online game for the Wii too, and they thought it was impressive - sorry guys everyone else has had online gaming for a few years, nice you decided to join the party though.

Anyway I shall sit back and scoff *scoff scoff* at you people and your next gen consoles until someone finally releases enough games that interest me to warrant a purchase (so 2 or 3 years then.)



the anonymous that protects the wii is evidently both weak and slow.

I don't own a next gen console - they're all quite pointless. However even I can tell that the Wii is in a different arena to the 360 and ps3, both aimed at gamers and home entertainment, where as the wii is aimed at families, children, and people that like to get a load of folk round their house and wave their arms about. It's still not a next gen console spec wise.

I'll stick to my PC and a copy of call to power 2 kthxbi



it's not a next gen console. It's a last gen console with a tv remote and a rock bottom price.

Natalie Portman: Attack of the Film Fans



Leon, now that was an epic film. Interesting, exciting and challenging. Now days the director would probably get stonned to death for encouraging pedophillia.

And yes bring back the rotting dog.

French teen held over online Potter translation



also, by UK standards he isn't a pirate as he isn't selling copies or producing copies for sale. Infringing copyright probably though.



this is the first time I've seen something like this in popular media, well of late anyway.

The suggestion that criminal organisations have anything to do with it is utter bullshit. But we accept such crap from modern media and authorities.

With modern communiation you either release everywhere more or less at the same time or you sacrifice your first distribution rights.

Take anime, it takes generally takes at least a year for a title to go to the US (2 years is more common) that's if something gets translated atall. Then another year or two to get to the UK.

Fansubbers can have episodes released a day after it's aired on TV in Japan depending on how fast they can get a "RAW" how many groups are working on it and the kind of outfit they are (speedsubbers or qualitysubbers) these folk translate it so a: we don't have to spend years waiting for shows and b: so we don't have to put up with lame commercial subs.

These hardworking chaps don't get cash, infact often they end up spending alot of cash on maintaining central distro servers, I think they're crazy to be honest, but I love them all lol. They're normally ignored until a yank licenses a title, which is still a pain for us brits as it still wont come out over here but soucing it becomes a real pain.

This lad should be praised for providing a service that the official companies couldn't be bothered doing.

Doctor Who signs up thinking man's crumpet



Catherine Tate makes me want to stab myself in the face...

Home Office pops open ID procurement porkbarrel



Yes I really need to move to a decent country.

Problem is I was gonna vote tory until they said that they we're going to extend the copyright licenses for music companies from 50 to 70 years and give them 3 billion quid to make happy songs.

Tories can get fucked. So can the lib dems - crazy tax raising bastereds.

Offender tracking database could be binned



I'm both shocked and amazed!

A government IT project close to collapse??

lol - just imagine how much this magical ID register is gonna cost if they can't make a database for 80,000 people.

We'll never get alien telly, says Zagreb boffin



all this recent bashing of poor old seti - in the grand scheme of things it gets sod all money, and yes we all know that it is almost impossible for it to ever find anything to do with aliens. It has however provided alot of useful R&D on distrobuted systems, radio telescopes, so on and so fourth.

As to Jeff Goldbloom, he was using a mac, proving the long held belief that Macs were made by aliens in the first place.

As to intersteller travel, without breaking Einsteins cage it's impossible, will someone break it? Who knows, science is strange like that.

Customer exodus hits Virgin Media



to quote Nelson


I'm cancelling my virgin thing next week - tired of them - and I havn't watched the tele since they got rid of sky one.

Websites could be required to retain visitor info



The real winners are disk storage sellers.

Oklahoma offers War on Terror numberplates



did someone mention ducks?


Free Software Foundation plans protests at 'corrupt' BBC



well to be honest I don't think they should be offering a free online tv service beyond the news world service type stuff. Everything else should be a paid service wrapped in whatever the hell they like.

As to anon, you can only have your license fee back if you don't have a tv plugged in or a tv tuner. Or a radio... although the price is lower for a radio.

Problem with them giving away "free" content online is that everyone who now owns a computer technically has to pay a tv license. So infact - if you don't want a tv (lets face it there's ---- all ever on) and you own a pc that is windows you'll have to pay for a tv license (technically) (just like if you own a tv but never watch the beeb) so the onlyway to not have to get a tv license is to A: not have an internet connection or b: have a pc that iplayer wont work on...

Police want DNA collection superpowers



listen to the drip drip dripping of your rights disappear.

Start with keeping "lists" of "sex offenders" (from you getting caught shagging in public right to molesting a minor and rape)

on to banning forms of extreme pornography and undesirable speach.

Trickle forward to holding people without trial, keeping dna records for innocent people held in custody (they have my dna - I got a caution for drunk and incapable on a public highway - not even drunk and disorderly)

Forward to making drawings illegal. (I mean that's next to making thinking illegal, seriously.)

Now onto storing your dna for non-crimes... how long until a mandatory aquistion of biometric data from schools and the passport office? How about all medical records being accessible (I mean, they could have vital information pertaining to potential criminal activity too.)

The ideal solution for police is that everyone is placed in jail and released when they are satisfied that you will not commit a crime. I mean, that's just the police for you, bless em. Sadly our government (and O I don't think those filthy tories would be any different) seem more then happy to go along with it.

I find the whole loli thing the best example of this (loli being the inhouse term for anime smut with young looking characters)

you start with

- child molesting = bad, so they will be arrested (good, they are obviously a threat)

- pictures of child molesting bad = well if you like to look at real pics you are obviously inetested in real kids, also by not reporting the images you're assisting in a crime. (So good show. All fine.)

- Grooming = now there's a nebulus term, but I suppose it's fine depending on the content.

- Modified computer images... = okay the images look real, so obviously someone who looks at them may pose a threat... (you can barely convince me)

- Drawn pictures of young anime characters = even their own studies showed no correlation between such pictures and inappropriate attitudes to children. However the police still felt (despite no evidence in this day where you can buy ready made studies on anything) that they should be classed undet the same bracket as real pictures. And the first time I see a girl with huge eyes, pink hair, and a magic fucking wand I will probably commit myself to a mental asylum coz I've finally cracked.

The final crime of course raises an interesting question - so they want to make ownership of such pictures equal to ownership of real child porn (I mean wtf). However if owning them is like owning child porn is drawing them the equivelent of raping a child? Is this the first official thought crime?

There was a similar train of thought with violent porn

Murder a partner = bad you should be arrested.

commiting non consenstual sexual violence = bad, get arrested

Looking at non consenstual sexual violence = bad, get arrested

Looking at consentual sexual violence = ... well somepeople just like a good lashing with a plastic bag over their head. Live with it.

They wanna take your dna and add it to an ever growing register so it is easier to convict you with crimes in a world of ever increasing criminal offenses. If the current offenses can't catch you they'll just make a new offence, lowering the already low bar.

Yet at the same time they can't stop teenagers from being fucking retarded shittards who need killing (I hate emos and chavs they're a waste of good air)

ahhh rant over.

YouTube video-fingerprinting due in September



Colours of napsters slow laughable demise here.

Bets on if this goes through a few months to a year of tit for tatt battles between folks wanting to get past the security and those updating the security, followed by Youtube dying a death and everyone moving onto new services?

Just like none of us were loyal to Napster, nobodies gonna be loyal to youtube.

Can Osama keep Bush afloat?



Trollin' in your mindless thread.

Seriously Not Wanted is Most Wanted - he provides me with reasonable lols.

As aside "If I leave them alone" mentality works pretty well for the Chinese.

Also since when has America ever acknowledged a global economy? They're almost as big protectionists as the French, Gambling anybody? They're view of Globalization is "we can sell you what we like, however you are not allowed to sell us anything." Bunch of retards, one of the biggest blocks to true globalisatiton - the doors swing both ways buddy.

As to iraq, why the hell did we go there anyway? I mean we know they had nothing to do with terrorism (like saddam would letter a second power operate in his country) and we knew he didn't have WMD, and we obviously weren't going to help the people... so why o why did we go? Just nuke the dust bowl and be done with it - if you're gonna do a job do it right or not at all.

As to Afghanistan - yeah great move there, how cheap is heroin nowdays?

Seriously who the hell cares if there's another terrorist attack? To quote a sage indvidual

""Look out! Terrorists are coming! We need to attack! We need to be on the offensive! The terrorists will get you!"

F--k the terrorists.

I'm not going to pay money so other people can kill innocent civilians in a faraway country, just to lower the chances that someone from that other country will come over and kill me or my family. That's bullshit. Terrorists hate me so much? Bring 'em on. If I die, too bad, that's all she wrote. If my friends die well shit, life sucks. It's not like I was expecting the world to deal me blackjack every day. "

A pretty much bang on assesment. You're more likely to get hit by a fridge from the space station then get blown up by a terrorist. I'd rather have that cash spent on fixing my ----ing buses! And the trains. And improve my broad band, shit with all the money we've pissed up the wall on the war on terror you could probably build me a moon base. If nothing else they could make some storm drains so places would stop flooding.


In Before

"where's the IT angle"


"I used to respect the register for the tech news"

MP slams school biometric guidance



well if the numbers can be used to check that the finger print is the fingerprint it expects then it's only rational to expect that with the right technology you could create a reconstruction of the finger print using those numbers... Or else it wouldn't be very useful at checking the finger print.

Anyway who the hell believes government officials who are just repeating what a government contractor has said. He's no different to a sales person.

That olympics project'll cost you 6billion, wait 9billion no 12billion, what do you mean olympics?

The IBM ThinkPad: 15 years old today



Choice of wallpaper on that PC110 is cute - I think I have that wallpaper somewhere.

UK planespotters to battle al-Qaeda



"chilling attack" I dunno when beavis and butthead-eque terrorist wannabees set themselves on fire whilst trying to set petrol on fire I just find it funny.

I mean really, even the Anarchists cookbook can give you pointers on making a bomb that works.

I'm still more scared of going down a dark underpass then some freak blowing me up, but even if I do get blown up - O well, shit happens. If a friend or family member gets blown up - again shit happens, they could get cancer, die in a car crash or any number of other things. People die all the time these security fags need to go the hell away and let people live their lives again.

Terror-cops get realtime Congestion Charge database link


Potential terrorists?

No you are not potential terrorists, you are all terrorists who have not yet performed your act of terror.

What they'd really like to do is just to arrest everyone and then let you out after you have been "vetted" and "educated" as to how to live in their "civilised" society.

Derbyshire cops get into deep water


re Don't be so hard on them

yeah that's what you're supposed to do to avoid aquaplaining (sp) the same theory doesn't really work with more then a few inches of water...

German bus driver objects to passenger's breasts



@Above people who don't get the joke. Y'all just made my day.

@anonymous, Steve and Ian - lol someone had to.


in before

"where's the IT angle?" and

"I used to respect the register it used to be a respectable site!"