* Posts by ShadowSystems

695 posts • joined 24 May 2021


Mitsubishi Electric again admits to widespread quality control cheating

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Re: Culture change

I bet they would aggressively enforce proper quality controls after getting their asses sued off by some other company that paid them serious money for kit that ME claimed was fit for purpose but that the purchaser has determined was anything but.

Take the UPS for example. If ME claims it can support $X load for $Y time, the purchaser has an incident that tests that claim & finds it seriously lacking, what do you think the purchasing company will do to ME for false advertising & fraud? I bet the fine they request from the court will *vastly* outweigh the cost of having a proper QC in the first place.

Amazon puts 'creepy' AI cameras in UK delivery vans

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Re: Isn't there a law ....

I wonder what would happen if someone built a small box to hang over the rear view mirror such that the cameras inside the mirror could no longer see the cab, but could still see the road ahead; a RPi hooked up to play an audio/video clip loop to said cameras/mics to make the inward facing bits see only what the driver wants to be seen; with a second mirror on the box to restore safety functionality; all powered off a simple cigarette lighter adapter to keep the RPi going?

Unplug the RPi & take the box with you just before returning to the depo, so nobody officially sees you doing it; restore the box to the mirror as soon as you're out of sight of the depo to cut off the company's ability to surveil you.

Or am I just channeling Mission: Impossible, 007, or Q again?

Dell's rugged Latitude 5430 laptop is quick and pretty – but also bulky and heavy

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Re: You're whinging about a 6.5 pound laptop?

Ok, I accept that I used the wrong measurement in my calculation. For some reason I multiplied the 1.97 by 3.28 (feet per meter) instead of 2.21 (pounds per KG). My only excuse was the lateness of the hour (way past my nap time), a lack of caffeine, and the warden not having a suitable charge on their Shocky Stick(TM) when they tried to zap me into unconsciousness. =-Jp

But that mistake only made it even *more* utterly idiotic the whole situation really is. A Four point three five seven pound laptop? It's not even five fother mucking pounds! GAH!

I remember having to carry my day's worth of books, notebooks full of homework, & supplies in a backpack that often tipped the scales at over 25 pounds. For this "90 pounds if he were soaking wet with rocks in his pockets" nerd, it was annoying but definitely a (body/character) builder. Now-a-days the kids complain if they have to haul around a laptop that's measured in grams because it's too bloody heavy. I weep for the future of this planet. =-/

ShadowSystems Silver badge

You're whinging about a 6.5 pound laptop?

Jesus wept. Have we devolved into a bunch of special snowflakes that can't cope with something that weighs more than a few grams? It's like the Calvin Kline stick figure model got reclassified as "morbidly obese" & everything must drop every last nanogram to be considered light enough.

I'll happily accept a mere 6.5 pound laptop if it means decent port selection, replaceable batteries that don't drop dead the first time you want the device to do something exhaustive, and includes a keyboard that doesn't require fingers with subatomic accuracy to hit the bloody keys.

Remember the Commodore & Compaq luggables? Those bastards didn't weigh a few pounds, those big bad bastards seemed to tip the scales at a few TONS and we were HAPPY to have them. Remember cell phones that included a giant battery pack that made the device into a figurative if not nearly literal brick? Remember when we expected kids to carry a backpack with an entire day's worth of books & materials inside, not whinge about how difficult it was to carry around a tablet that weighs a few grams & fits in a pocket?

This isn't progress, it's devolution in action. Bah. Schtoopid whippersnappers anyer inability to lift your own fekkin' trousers.

*Shakes a palsied fist*

Get off my lawn!

/wanders off to go make myself some Ovaltine & dried frog pill milkshake...

Beware the fury of a database developer torn from tables and SQL

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Just a quick question.

If your product is not already available in a language, why did you let the marketing cockwomble survive long enough to complete the sale?

It's a non trivial task to do a proper translation. It costs serious time, money, & employee hours of making sure every last bit of text/graphics have been properly translated lest a mistake cause the client to come after you with a hammer & a very bad attitude.

A previous employer had asked me to do a quick & dirty English>German translation for them. I refused. They promised I'd not get in trouble. I flat out dug in my heels & said hell no. So they got someone else in the company to do it rather than pay for a professional job.

Guess what? The German speaking customer the translation had been for found a few inappropriate translations, was _seriously_ not amused, and threatened to sue for libel. Why? Because the German words for some things is only a letter or two off other words that are slang for some very NSFW sexual acts with animals. Want to guess what the customer saw in screens that would have been their-customer-facing? Not. Good.

The employee that did the translation got thrown under the bus. I felt bad for them because of that fact, but then I also told them not to do it unless they got that promise in writing first.

If the sales turd sold the product with a promise that it would be made available in a different language, either take the cost of that professional translation out of said sales shit's pay, or publicly stand them up against a wall & shoot them with squirt guns filled with skunk stink. One way or the other, the dipshit needs to be made *painfully* aware never to do such shite ever again. =-|

Microsoft sounds the alarm on – wait for it – a Linux botnet

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Dear Microsoft.

Before you start crowing about how insecure the competition can be, take a look at your own utterly abysmal track record of fatal security flaws. I'd hazard a guess that everyone else's security screw ups don't measure up to the Olympus Mons of the MS fuck ups in the same time frame.

I mean, how many times does MS have to release a fix to fix the fix that broke the previous fix? I'm fairly sure that a functioning quality assurance team testing your code before it was allowed past the gates just might, just *might* mind you, go some way into caulking the holes of the security Swiss cheese that is your fortress walls.

Acer's TravelMate laptops arrive – complete with Microsoft Pluton chips

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Thanks for the warning.

Will avoid like the plague.

Will this be one of the world's first RISC-V laptops?

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Re: Some serious questions.

Why is not having a BIOS a good thing? Is not being able to configure various bits of the hardware configuration at a pre-os-loaded state not something that might prove useful, such as being able to hardware-"kill" a mic, webcam, or biometric widget?

ISTR a BIOS is where you configure such things as the ability to boot from other sources than the HDD, such as a USB stick, a CD/DVD drive, a network location (local or remote), or other form of boot media; adjusting the clock frequency & voltage settings to be able to overclock the system to run faster or slower depending on your needs/wants; the ability to configure a default screen resolution, refresh rate, & brightness so you don't have to fiddle with the function keys each time you boot; adjusting things like integrated audio to use a USB-attached alternative; etc, etc, etc.

Are these things no longer useful?

*Honestly confused expression*

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Some serious questions.

Yes yes yes, I know I know. Yes, I'm feeling fine, now stop signalling to the nurse to refill my dried frog pills. =-)p

What are the pros & cons of a Risk-based system over an x86 or ARM? Does it run faster? Is it capable of handling more RAM? Much faster/better audio/video capabilities? The ability to address more total drive space? Does it have some other hardware-based wiz-bang capability/feature/trick up it's sleeve that makes it something a person might choose over the other two technologies?

Is software designed for Risk more stable? Secure? Less buggy? Would an OS compiled for it be better somehow than if compiled for a different architecture (ARM, x86, Apple's M1, etc)? What software abilities/capabilities/tricks up it's sleeve does it have to recommend it over another?

I'll root for them to succeed & produce a professional-grade laptop that really "knocks it out of the park" as a first attempt, mostly because I like rooting for the underdogs, but also because I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they do _not_ make the same mistakes in product design that all the others have done.

*Pays the publican for a few thousand casks of their finest consumeable with instructions to deliver it to the Risk folks in charge of getting this project finished*

Have a pint or two on me, but please stay sober enough to finish the project, ok? We expect great things from you, not some clunky monster like an old Compaq luggable, Commodore luggable, or a mutant bastard love child of the insane coupling of an Apple iMac & an old Coleco fantasy pinball electronic game. =-Jp

Apple scraps 3-day return to office amid COVID-19 cases

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Re: "not everyone is yet ready to return to the corporate altar"

Business' with large physical footprints, EG Apple's giant presence in California, means they've got copious amounts of actual seats going unused because their workforce is mostly WFH. You can almost hear their accountants gnashing & grinding their teeth at how much it's costing the company for all their vaunted infrastructure that's doing SFA as a result.

It's not _that_ difficult to see why they're so eager to get butts back in the office to improve the headcount, it would mean they can start using their resources as intended rather than having said resources (the physical property) sitting there twiddling it's proverbial thumbs idle.

Arm, Microsoft at pains to say this CPU arch can be trusted with real server work

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You've got to hand it to them...

They're just trying to get an ARM & a leg up on their rivals. I think they should put in a bit more elbow grease, toe the line, put their noses to the grindstone, & really push ahead with their plans.

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the pockets full of mannequin parts. =-Jp

China reveals its top five sources of online fraud

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Way to go China...

You've oppressed & pissed off your citizens for so long & so badly that they've finally decided that the best way to fight back is to *stop breeding*. Think about that. People would rather endure a sexless existance rather than risk giving you fresh bodies whom to continue the shitty treatment.

What will you do when your population falls so low that there's not enough new generation to care for the old generation when that old generation reaches the point that it can no longer care for itself?

*Slow golf clap*

GPL legal battle: Vizio told by judge it will have to answer breach-of-contract claims

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Ah for the good old days...

When tv's were just tv's, phones were just phones, refrigerators were just refrigerators, toasters didn't talk, washing machines & dryers didn't whine about your inability to properly sort by colour & material, men were men, women were women, small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real furry critters from Alpha Centauri, and my supply of dried frog pills didn't cost a proverbial arm & leg...

*Whistful sigh*

September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job

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At My-Handle...

"Mike is guilty of absolutely nothing here."

(Nervous glances left, right, up, down, & behind me.)

Yes, yes I am Perfectly Innocent! =-D

(Runs away, jinking & jiving to dodge the lightning bolts, meteore strikes, & other attempts to smite my silly arse.)

Anatomy of a campaign to inject JavaScript into compromised WordPress sites

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Makes me yearn for GeoCities...

At least the crap you found there was merely annoying as all hell, not actively hostile to your browser. Your mind yes, but not your browser.

I shall go fire up an animated GIF of the Ally McBeal "dancing baby" with a midi clip to loop with it. It's more entertaining than mucking out the stalls that have stabled JS...

If you've got Intel inside, you probably need to get these security patches inside, too

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I don't know to laugh or cry...

On one hand I want to laugh in relief that my NUC isn't among the ones that need a fix, but on the other hand I want to cry because the reason that's true is because my system is so fucking old that it hasn't been supported for about a trillion years. =-/

I often wonder what life would be like if I had a computer with hardware inside that wasn't Ivy Bridge, 3rd Gen I3. Can anyone tell me if tasks get done faster than a snail trying to tow a petrol supertanker uphill in the snow during a hurricane blizzard? I can only dream...

Europe proposes tackling child abuse by killing privacy, strong encryption

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At Kitten...

Can we make it incredibly annoying & use something like "Fifty Shades of Grey", "War & Peace", 4Chan FanFic, or Vogon poetry as the books to encode against, so that any attempts to decode our secret messages must be run through such delightful tomes?

Even better, can we use *all* of those in a randomly (& recorded elsewhere) order so that we can send the intended recipient a numerical sequence like 314159 to indicate which books in which order to use to decode our secret message?

Or, and this is just monkies flinging poop at the wall to see what artistic style they can create, can we use the combined compiled ramblings from A Man From Mars 1 so that they will probably suffer a mental breakdown if any sentient being tries to read the file, & an AI/DL/ML algorithm implodes from all the concentrated insanity?

*Hands you an extra large tankard*

Drink up, it's extra potent Caffeinated MindBleach mixed with a Pan Galactic GargleBlaster to help you recover. =-)p

ShadowSystems Silver badge

How to kill the proposal...

Intercept, decode, print out, & publish in a global media outlet all the communications from all the politicians proposing the law. If they don't like it, tough shite, because that's the reality of what they're trying to make into law. Don't want your stuff open for everyone to read? Then don't pass the fekkin' law.

Microsoft tests ‘Suggested Actions’ in Windows 11. Insiders: Can we turn it off?

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"But we're not finished"?

If you release software, any software in general but an entire OS in specific, you had damn-well better make sure it's as bug tested, bug removed, security holes fixed, & as stable as you can possibly make it. Anything less than your best is tantamount to a bunch of Howler Monkies screaching & flinging shit at your audience.

Please release good code & stop flinging shit at us.

IBM's autonomous Mayflower ship breaks down in second transatlantic attempt

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IBM in this case...

stands for I've Been Marooned.

Perhaps their next vessel would be more aptly named the T-AI-tanic?

I'll get my coat, it's the bright orange one with the inflatable bits in the lining. =-j

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout

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Re: Full names please.......

Or perhaps Mr. Ben Twire, Ben DeBit, or the ever popular Mister Ben Dover?

*Ducks & runs for safety*

Beijing-backed gang looted IP around the world for years, claims Cybereason

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Re: Wait, what ?

They just renamed *.log to *.l0g and figured nobody would catch on. I only figured it out because my screen reader says "lzerog" instead of "log", so it was rather blatant.


I'll get my coat, it's the one with the sleeves that fasten in the back. =-Jp

Putin threatens supply chains with counter-sanction order

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You want to play hardball?

Then we're refusing to buy any borsch, caviar, or vodka. See how you like them apples, nyaaaaa!


I wish this war would end already. Can someone please go put the child to bed so he can sleep off the temper tantrum & let the world return to a saner footing?

Apple's return-to-office plan savaged by staff

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At John...

It's even worse when the company trying to force a return from the WFH situation is one of the major WFH advocates, a major provider of devices & services designed with the WFH workforce in mind, and after having done everything to encourage WFH short of publicly catapulting their employees off the roof back at their cars with instructions to go back home; If you work for a/the big(gest) WFH company in the land & that same company is now trying to reverse thrust, it's no surprise if the WFH employees use the opportunity to publicly abandon ship before that particular Titanic finds it's iceberg. =-/

Privacy pathology: It's time for the users to gather a little data – evidence

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Re: Chaffing

Lock an Alexa device in an anechoic chamber with a text-to-speach device fed all the posts from A Man From Mars 1. Please record how long before the Alexa device commits Seppuku.

Then repeat the experiment with another Alexa device & more posts from AMFM1. Record how long before the Alexa implodes.

Keep the cycle going until the entirety of Amazon's Alexa division has gone insane & started howling & flinging feces at each other.

I'd considered using Vogon poetry, but my TTS devices threatened to kill me in my sleep if I tried, so no Vogon poetry for my screen reader. =-Jp

Meetings in the metaverse: Are your Mikes on?

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Re: Metaverse Avatars

I just remembered the animated GIF of Kermit shagging Miss Piggy from behind & spanking her on the rump. I wish I could see so I could use the software & use the aforementioned GIF as my avatar. Because I'm a freak. =-D

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Re: Self-replicating Mikes

It's Mike's all the way down!

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the pockets full of turtles. =-Jp

Intel says costly 10nm ramp will counter PC slowdown

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You want respect?

You can have it when you stop faffing around in the 10nm range & catch up to the competition that's been merrily kicking sand in your face from the 7, 5, and even 2nm playground.

You go on about how much better your 10nm is compared to everyone else's 7nm stuff, but all it takes is a side-by-side comparison of how energy hungry your chips are compared to everyone else's & all the public is left with is the taste of the whiney kid shouting about how much better their hand-me-downs are versus everyone else's brand new clothes.

You want respect, figure out what's keeping you from the advanced table with all your competition & get your ass in gear. As long as you're still in the double digit nm range, all the single digit players are gleefully eating your lunch.

In IT, no good deed ever goes unpunished

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Re: I've told this one before...

As I mentioned before, *I* wasn't using it for commercial purposes, I was merely using it to help me generate multiple TPS reports to multiple middle managers that justified their continuing existence by forcing others to do busy work. The reports were purely internal, never touched external customers, & essentially just let $Department1 know what inventory $Department2~99 had at their disposal so nobody could complain that someone was hogging all the paperclips. I told $C2 that fact, assured them that the only way it (their software) would ever get used was by me on my own workstation for that very narrow task. They said that was fine.

The problem was that $C1 fired me, kept my copy of the software, & began to use it in ways that I promised $C2 I'd never do, expressly for & especially to bolster their bottom line. Where I was using $C2's software to automate TPS report making, $C1 was now(then) using it to automate customer billing statements, supply ordering, & all manner of uses that had a direct impact on their bottom line. That was not as I promised to use it, and was in fact explicitly disallowed by the EULA. Since $C1 didn't purchase a commercial license for the software, nor in fact any license at all, $C2 had them by the short & curlies as far as IP theft, software piracy, & all the rest were concerned.

*Hands you a tall pint*

Enjoy a pint on me for the failure on my part to clarify it in the OP. Sorry about that. =-j

ShadowSystems Silver badge

I've told this one before...

The TL;DR version:

I work at $Company1 doing tediously repetative tasks. I purchase a piece of software from $Company2 to create macros that allow me to automate all the tedious bits so I can get on with the rest of my job. I make sure to purchase the software with my own CC on my own time, that way there is no doubt in $C2's mind that it is not being used for commercial purposes. I even ask $C2 if it's ok for me to use it at $C1, explain what I plan to do with it, & $C2 gives the ok as long as it doesn't get used for commercial purposes.

I install the software on my workstation, configure the macros, the reports get generated in as fast as the computer can Copy&Paste from one set of internal reports to another set of internal reports, & my productivity goes through the roof. Management notices & promptly fires my productive arse. They do not, however, allow me to uninstall "my" software, even after I explained to them that it was *not* theirs to use, that it had been purchased on my personal CC, registered to me, & only on the condition from $C2 that it not be left with $C1 should I leave their employ. Management doesn't GAFF & refuses to uninstall the software.

Fast forward a month or two of me trying to make them understand, to uninstall the program, & verify that they are no longer using it. An ex-coworker in the next cube over lets me know that, not only have they not removed the software, $C1 is in fact using it to automate a metric fuckton of other tasks.

I call $C2 & let them know the situation. I explain the refusal of $C1 to uninstall & that they have instead started using it to boost their ability to make money. $C2 thanks me & says they'll take care of it.

Another month later & the same ex-coworker lets me know that not only has the software been purged, that $C1 is being "sued shitless" for software piracy, IP theft, and every other charge $C2 thinks it can make stick in a court of law. $C1 is a global telecom company so is unlikely to go TITSUP any time soon, but in that same vein they are unlikely to let the matter go to publicly accessible courts where the "Court Of Public Opinion" can burn them even harder than the legal courts might be inclined to do.

I don't remember off-hand what happened to $C1, but I do know that my old manager got thrown under a buss & wound up forfeitting most of his retirement pension to cover the costs of the out-of-court settlement "shut up & go away" payment to $C2.

Moral of the story: Don't be too quick to automate your job, you may automate yourself right out the door. =-/

Apple's grip on iOS browser engines disallowed under latest draft EU rules

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I need a rock...

A Big. Fucking. Rock.

I need it to drop from orbit & smash down through the roof of Apple HQ & turn the site into a smoking, glassy crater.

Then I need another one to do the same to Google HQ, MS HQ, Amazon HQ, Meta HQ, and...

Oh hell, at this rate there won't be enough rocks in the galaxy to drop on all the arseholes that need a right good smiting.

Can I have a rogue planetoid smash into this rock & knock it into the sun like the universe's best snooker trick shot?


Intuit sued over alleged cryptocurrency thefts via Mailchimp intrusion

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At Howard Sway, re: peanuts.

I thought that if you paid in peanuts, all you could expect was an infestation of ellef, elap, effal, pacy, those big things with the tusks & the trunk? =-Jp

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the peanut-eating critters in the pockets.

Robots are creepy. Why trust AIs that are even creepier?

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Re: its all puppetry

It's already happened. They wrote it & even put one of their own in as a main character. It was an American show called "Max Headroom". I'm not sure of the comedic value, but that's purely subjective. =-Jp

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Re: Pitchforks

When I join an angry mob to go do battle against a robot, I always bring my trusty backpack-contained nuclear-powered bulk tape eraser. Nothing says Goodbye like a degaussing coil arcing power like a hyperactive tesla coil.

*Cackles in glee for far too long*

That was not thirty seconds & I am not adding it to MySkippy'sList...

Putin reaches for nuclear option: Zuckerberg banned

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I know, right?

This is the sound of the world's smallest violin playing the funeral dirge for Zuck's travel plans to Russia.

What's a good song to play when you want to express your utter & unreserved contempt for someone? Lily Allen's "Fuck you" comes to mind, but I'm not sure the actual lyrics (rather than just the title) fits the bill. Can you think of one that does?

ASML CEO: Industrial conglomerate buying washing machines to rip out semiconductors

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Just a thought...

Can you print out all the various predictions that company makes, preserving the paper as well as possible, so you can pull it out of archives in whatever time-frame they predicted, and check how far off/on the mark they were?

If you leave said stories as pure digital, perhaps a second copy into a specific directory called "Recorded Predictions" or some such.

I think there might be a decent story in how well their predictions fare. Perhaps broken down into "Nearest the Mark" and "Completely Fekkin' Wrong" sections to make it perfectly clear just how well/bad they do.

Predictions are like arseholes: everyone has one, everyone knows they're full of shite, but people keep expecting rainbow sparkly faerie dust for some damned reason...

Brave, DuckDuckGo to unplug Google's AMP where possible

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Google wants JS...

I want Security & Privacy. I've configured my browser to ensure it. I win. Byte me.

Scraping public data from the web still OK: US court

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Re: Kicking it up the ladder.

Exactly. It's already gone to the Supreme Court whom kicked it back down for revisitation, but otherwise refused to hear your plea. To whom are you going to "go over their heads" to? Elvis? Elmo? Foamy the Angry Squirrel?

Granted, they have other bits of the case to argue in court, but the bits about scraping seem to have just been shoved off the table into the dust bin.

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Re: site stupidity.

I am amused that LinkedIn thinks that their users don't already have the ability to keep their private details private. You're a publicly facing site with public profiles for anyone/everyone to browse to try & locate potential employees or past employees that you want to reconnect with, so how *exactly* is anything they post to the site supposed to be private at all?

Yes scraping is a shitty thing to do, but you don't get to argue for privacy if the whole fekkin' point of your site is to make your members as visible & findable as possible.


An early crack at network management with an unfortunate logfile

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At 45RPM, re: documentation.

Back when I was still in school, my BioDad did freelance work as a technical writer for various large ThreeLetterAgencies whom shall remain nameless lest they come after me.

Anyway, I often used the family computer to type up my homework, especially ((Foreshadowing alert! Foreshadowing alert!)) my English reports. I'd been given a report to write about hummingbirds & had dutifully typed it up, formatted it, & made it look all pretty for my teacher as she preferred. Then I saved it to my "homework" floppy, ejected said floppy, & put it in my personal disk keeper.

BioDad comes home & starts typing up his own "homework". Finishes, goes to save it, can't find a blank disk, & reaches for my disk keeper because he knows I've got some blanks. ((Can you see where this is going?))

I get to school the next day, go to the computer lab to use their printer, and pull out my disk keeper. Except my homework disk isn't in it. I promptly panic. I *know* I put it in there, I made sure of that fact so I wouldn't forget the disk & leave it at home. I've got a report (rough draft, but still) due later that afternoon, but no disk upon which said report has been saved. I use my lunch break to *sprint* home, ransack the computer room to try & find my homework disk, & find it atop my BioDad's work folder. I don't care, think nothing of that fact, snatch it, & sprint back to school.

Back in the lab, disk in drive, take a directory... What are all these strange file names on MY disk? GAH! It's not my homework. It's my homework disk, but not *my* homework! I put the disk back in the keeper, promise my teacher that I'll bring her the rough draft as soon as I fix the issue with the disk drive at home, & she lets me off the hook.

Get home after school & go through each & every loose floppy on the computer desk to try & find where my file might be. I finally find a temp copy of my report, clean it up, update it, finish it, & save it not only to my homework disk, but to a backup floppy marked "DO. NOT. ERASE!" in big, bold, all caps, neon Sharpie marker to make sure nobody messes with it. I then store the homework disk in my keeper & "hide" the spare in my English book.

BioDad comes home & heads for the computer to do some more work. "Son, where is the disk labeled home work? I left it right here on the desk."

Ah HA! So you did steal my disk, you fat arsed bastard. "That was my English Homework disk. It has my English homework on it. Homework I did *not* have in my keeper when I arrived at school today, even though the report saved to it was due today. Do you mean THAT disk?"

BioDad at least has the decency to look sheepish, but he still needs the disk back so he can pull his stuff off of it. I hand it over & stand there with my hand out waiting to get it back. He is not pleased. I don't care.

I should have looked at the specific files he copied off the disk. Not that he erased them afterwards, but...

Fast forword a month & he comes home confused & a bit frustrated. It seems he had printed out the report he'd written about some hot-shit tech he'd been contracted to write about, but embedded in his report was "some wierd shit about Hummingbirds. I couldn't figure out WTF!"

I nearly laughed myself sick when I realized that dingbat had somehow managed to include my English report on birds in his tech document about hot shit TLA tech.

Moral of the story: please be careful where you save your work, it can mean the difference between impressing your employer & coming across as an idiot. =-D

AI models to detect how you're feeling in sales calls

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Ok, where to start...

First, take your AI-powered emotions-guessing, telesales-helping tech & cram it so far up your arse that you blink in time with the flashing cursor.

Second, the self driving car doing so without headlights? Pull it over, realize there's noone in it, & slap a "Denver Boot" wheel-disabling device on it so it can't drive away, then have it towed & impounded until further notice. Sure the company may have permission to operate a self-driving car, but until & unless the tech has been proven MORE reliable than a Human, you need a Human behind the wheel to take over when the software decides those children in the zebra crossing are actually walking "Hit Me!" signs worth 1,000,000 points apiece.

Third, can we ban all AI software on the grounds that it's a stupid idea & anyone flogging it needs to be flung into the sun as a waste of oxygen? Pretty please, with an extra-strong catapult?


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Re: What a _real_ AI would do.

John, I'm not sure regular folks would employ their own AI software to weed out the wheat from the chaffe, we've already stopped answering our phones & let all the calls go to voice mail. If the caller can't be arsed to leave a message, we won't be bothered to call them back.

Besides, don't we already have anti-spam AI chatbots to deal with callers? ISTR a Youtube series of someone having used an RPi to act as a virtual telephone answering service that did precisely that. But then I'm getting old, my memory is getting hazy, & I have troub... troubl...

HI! Did you hear the one about the squirrel & the bunny rabbit?

*Wanders off muttering to myselves & munching on Dried Frog Pills*

When the expert speaker at an NFT tech panel goes rogue

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Re: I don't believe it!

I don't remember the jokes you mentioned. Could you share them?

*Hands you a pair of pints: one to lubricate your brain to help the memories return, another to whet your whistle in order to give them voice*


BOFH: The evil guide to upgrading switches

ShadowSystems Silver badge

At Iron, re: case stickers.

I once got my hands on a roll of the "Intel inside" & "Made for Windows" case stickers from a previous employer.

My friends & I took a trip to the local Fry's Electronics (an American electronics megastore that is no more) & spent an afternoon wandering the aisles applying stickers to random items.

We enjoyed the confused/amused expressions on customers' faces that found "Made for Windows" stickers on Apple products, "Intel inside" stickers applied to rolls of thermal printer paper, or both stickers stuck to something completely inappropriate like the forehead of the manniquin modeling the latest dummy models of wearable tech.

In my defense, we were young, dumb, & bored at the time. =-Jp

Cisco's Webex app phoned home audio telemetry even when muted

ShadowSystems Silver badge

And this is why we can't have nice things...

Camera & microphone built in to your device? Assume it's always on, always broadcasting, & never ever ever do/say anything you don't want used against you in court.

However, if you buy separate, individual webcam & microphone, connect them to a USB hub, then the hub to your device, you can make absolutely sure it's no longer able to listen/watch/record you by the simple act of unplugging the connecting cable.

But hey, what do I know, I'm just the resident Paranoid that "likes to be difficult". =-j

AI-powered browser extension to automatically click away cookie pop-ups now promised

ShadowSystems Silver badge

At Eldakka.

Thank you for pointing out that fact before I could return to do it myself. Enjoy a pint in thanks.

To the AC that asked about non-accessible sites, the responce is simple. I call up that department & inform them that the site fails the Americans with Disabilities Act requirements that all government services be equally accessible to the disabled as they are to the able.

Like Eldakka mentioned, they often try to get me to log in via a terminal in their lobby. I sit down, put my fingers on the keyboard, & wait for their computer to begin speaking. What's that, no screen reader? Well, thank you for proving my point. Even better is if it's a touch screen & there's not even a keyboard for me to use. A flat slab of featureless glass with no haptic feedback, oh yes that's _oh_so_ accessible... Not.

I then make them get up off their lazy ass & assist the disabled to do what the site won't allow me to do. Yes it annoys them, but not as much as it annoys ME for having to navigate the artificial obstacle course in my path.

JS isn't needed for, and is actually counter-productive for, accessibility; it's absolutely not in the best interests for security.

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Re: You need AI/ML for that?

No I don't use Google search. I use DDG for that. No JS required.

I do use Gmail, but JS isn't required there either. Nor for my bank, any of the forums, or news sites I frequent.

If a site claims to need JS, especially if it says it's for *security*, that site gets an email to tell them they're utterly full of shit.

Close the tab, hit DDG, & search for the same content elsewhere.

JavaScript: Just Say No.

ShadowSystems Silver badge

You need AI/ML for that?

My ancient browser is configured not to allow 3rd party cookies at all & to prompt for 1st party ones, so that stops most 3rd party cookie requests in their tracks;

It's configured to block pop up windows, so that stops the tracking request widget in it's tracks;

It doesn't run JS so that shoots that particular security-raping of my system through the head the moment it tries to raise it to say hello;

and none of this requires AI, ML, or any other buzzword infused bollocks.

So why does it need an AI/ML extension to accomplish on "modern" browsers?

Microsoft's huge Patch Tuesday includes fix for bug under attack

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Ah, the joy of being (fr)agile.

When MS has more patches than all the other patch sources listed in TFA *combined*, what does that say about their ability to write code that *doesn't* suck sweaty monkey nuts?

Sure it's a complex OS, but that's WHY you keep a QA team around so they can try to fix the bugs _BEFORE_ you release your code to the public. Unless you *like* being seen as a bunch of inbred management clowns that couldn't organize a drinking contest at a brewery?


US Army to build largest 3D-printed structures in the Americas

ShadowSystems Silver badge

Labour saving?

There's no shortage of potential labour, it's the *ARMY* FFS. There are thousands of soldiers that can be ordered to complete a task & will have it done as fast as Humanly possible. No union organizers trying to throw a spanner in the works, no H&S Jobsworth whinging that the concrete needs replacing because it's half-a-shade off from spec, no striking workforce, no extra long fag breaks, it's a captive, regimented, orderly, focused like a laser, group of people that will absolutely get the job done.

And that's just regular Army, not even the _Army_Core_Of_Engineers_ that !LIKE! to do such tasks & have metric fucktonnes of heavy construction equipment with which to do it.

You want to try the tech, fine, but don't site a ficticious *labour savings* as the reason why. You're a fekkin' ant's nest of drones that can be put to work to Get Shit Done Right The Fuck Now.

I'm an *AirForce* MilBrat and even *I* know that much about the grunty ground pounders, jarheads, & leathernecks. Give them credit where it's due & don't insult their (admittedly limited) intelligence by saying you need to save labour.

*Notices the approaching angry mob of ground pounders, laughs, waves, & runs like hell*



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