Posts by David Chapman

Cambodian cops cuff killer cow

What about the drivers?

Why is the cow taking all the flak for this? What about the numpties driving without due care and attention? It's not like you could easily miss seeing a 5ft high beast of burden (assuming you've got a roadworthy vehicle) - it sounds like the truck driver was carrying numerous people in the back of the pick-up, definitely not a good place to be if the wagon comes to an abrupt halt.

As cows are generally unaware of the rules of the road (such as may exist in Cambodia), it's a bit harsh blaming her for causing these deaths. Unless, of course, she is charging at road-users from the side? Or perhaps recreating in real life a scene from "Horace Goes Skiing"? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungry_Horace#Horace_Goes_Skiing for the uninitiated)

Cloud Jesus floats over Mount Sinai

How on earth does anyone know....

....exactly what Jesus looked like? This is just a long-haired dude with a beard. It could pretty much be anyone from that era, or a member of ELO from the early 70s. Did Jesus really have a beard? I'm not aware he had his portrait painted by anyone at the time.

Our impressions of what Jesus (or indeed Satan) look like come largely from art and screen. This chap in the sand looks like Robert Powell to me.... ain't that a co-incidence? ;¬)

Now, if I saw a detailed cloud depiction of Christ on the cross, with a crown of thorns round his head, Mary at his feet etc...... that might make me look twice.

Anteater kills zookeeper

Wrong operation??

If the anteater attacked her abdomen, liver, lungs etc., what the blazes were the doctors doing amputating her leg for? Small wonder she died if they operated on the wrong part of her body. Or maybe they'd had a lot of anteater attacks that week and got the wrong person?

I'm sure a medical guru out there can put me straight on this.

UK kids' table manners a national disgrace

Pizza Express - not buffet or chav!

Can I stand up for Pizza Express for a moment? (Before you ask, no, I don't work for them...)

Despite their slightly tawdry name, I'd suggest they stand for a slightly higher class of Italian gastronomic establishment - I'm not aware they offer a Pizza Hut-style all you can eat menu, and I've always found their waiters to be excellent. Not really the chav den that others have implicated it as - not the ones I've been to anyhow.

That said, I'd like to think that my 4 offspring were dragged up with a notion of what table manners means, so hopefully they rub the waiters up the right way. It's natural for people to fight fire with fire and match behaviour, so if you act like an uncouth and ungrateful git to someone, that's what you're likely to get back - irrespective of whether it's their job or not.

Asbo-breach octogenarian facing jail

The other side....

Do the people on the other side get the same level of abuse? Or has she already driven them out? (Or possibly she's end of terrace.... what do I know?) Likewise, I'm also left wondering what caused this friction in the first place.

I think this delightful specimen of geriactricity probably just needs a hug....

Hornet death squads menace France

Onions!

An onion is a fantastic antidote to wasp stings - no idea if it works on bee stings though having read the other posts?

In the warm months, we always carry one in the glove box with a sharp knife. Just cut it in half and apply to the sting - pain subsides within a minute or two.