Posts by Potty Professor

On Call: User who handled life-or-death situations struggled with the SHIFT key

Re: "Capital Two"?

I used to be in the Royal Observer Corps from 1966 until we were stood down in 1991. As part of the training I was sent to RAF Cosford to take a Touch Typing course. I passed with a speed of 25 WPM, but the facility has faded over the intervening years. I am afraid I tend to look at the keyboard now, and when I look at the screen I find to my horror that it is full of gibberish and I have to do it all again.

I also have several devices with numeric keypads, and there are about four different layouts, so looking at the keypad is essential.

Google engineer unplugged every fiber they could see and – surprise! – took down a chunk of the G-Cloud

Re: Some people are just incompetent

I went to visit my Brother in Law on Christmas Eve. As I walked into the flat I could smell gas. I commented on this and was told that it wasn't gas, it was fumes coming from Rugby Cement Works just down the road. I could hear a faint hissing sound coming from the gas fire in the lounge, so I said to open all the doors and windows because there was definitely a gas leak. I asked whether they had had any gas work done recently, and was told that the Corgi "Engineer" had been that morning to service the central heating boiler. I found a screwdriver and removed the front cover of the gas fire, and the hissing got louder. I touched the union nut on the inlet valve, and it was less than finger-tight. I went out to my car and came back with an adjustable spanner, and tightened the union nut. No more hissing. The gas fitter had neglected to tighten the union after servicing the gas fire, which he wasn't supposed to be doing anyway. If that had been allowed to continue, who knows whether my BiL and his wife would have survived, either by poisoning or by being blown to kingdom come!

Re: Procedural Error?

Makes my blood boil when these monkeys are referred to as "Engineers".

Have any of them actually ever spent several years at University studying for an actual degree in any branch of Engineering? I would surmise not, so they are not entitled to be called "Engineers".

In some countries, Germany for example, it is illegal to use the term "Engineer" unless you have a degree or at least a diploma in your field, but over here, and, it would seem, the left side of the pond, anyone who gets their hands dirty occasionally is entitled to use that moniker.

I have complained to the Advertising Standards Agency about this, but they just shrugged their collective shoulders and said that it had become accepted usage.

Grrrrr!

Part didn't fit so techie got out his screwdriver. Then something flew off the motherboard

Re: How did he manage that?

My Father was furious when he discovered that one of his woodworking chisels had been ruined by his Son-in-Law, who had borrowed it and blunted it. SiL had then "sharpened" it using the bench grinder, and let it get so hot that it had ruined the temper so much that it would not take a sharp edge ever again, and had a pretty rainbow effect of blue shading through tan to silver as a result.

Tech support chap hauled out to help SWAT team saw his life flash before his eyes

Re: Looking down on pilots

Back in the 80s my parents were house hunting. They found a rather isolated house near either Kington or Knighton (I don't remember which) and we went to view it. To get to it we had to leave the town and drive around to the opposite side of a large hill, then up a narrow track and over the top to where the house stood a couple of hundred feet higher than the town below. While we were ferreting about, a flight of Phantoms flew up the valley, and we could look down into their cockpits as they passed below us.

Some years later, my family and I were on a camping holiday in mid Wales. One afternoon returning to the camp, I turned off the main road onto a side road that turned sharp left and ran diagonally down the side of a valley. Something caught my eye as I turned, which made me look in the mirror and see a Hercules thundering along the valley at approximately the same height as the road we were on. It continued past us on our right hand side and zoomed off into the distance, leaving us in a cloud of jet fuel smoke.

Techie expensed a bag of oranges and then juiced up a stupid security incident

Re: A dozen tubes of KY lube

Reminds me of when I was pledging for a Fraternity at school in Louisville KY. We each had to go into a department store and ask a young counter assistant for a bra. When the assistant asked what size, I held both hands out in front of me as if I was cupping her breasts, and said "About THAT big". The assistant disappeared in double quick time and a rather severe looking older lady took her place and demanded to know why I was harassing the young girl. I shamefacedly admitted that I had been put up to it in order to pledge, and her demeanour softened to a mixture of amusement and pity for this poor innocent lad, who was by this time very red faced. I eventually was sold a suitably large bra, which I later used as a slingshot to fire jelly doughnuts at a fellow pledger.

Expenses queried

When I spent a week working at customer's site in northern Germany, I stayed in a small family run hotel just adjacent to the site. On the first evening I saw an item on the menu which was "Toast", but which looked rather expensive. I enquired what it was and was told that it was a slice of toasted bread, covered by a sirloin steak, then a poached egg, topped off with a Bechamel Sauce, plus a side salad. I dined on that for the six nights I stayed there. When I submitted my expenses, the fertiliser definitely hit the ventilator, and I had to go to the Financial Director's office to explain why I was not eating properly and why the meals cost so much. My explanation was eventually accepted, but only after I had given them the phone number of the hotel and they had rung them to obtain the Chef's explanation.

Rocket exhibit at National Space Centre pulls off unintentional NASA SLS impression

Re: I'm 60...

Just wait until you get to 78 - don’t ask me how I know :-(

AIs don't like religion – particularly Jehovah's Witnesses, study claims

Re: Sunday morning polyester suited visitors

I don't know whether this is general or just in this area, but the JWs seem to turn up on my doorstep in pairs, one a good looking bit of crumpet provocatively dressed, and the other a dumpy Old Maid harridan who is only there to ensure propriety in the proceedings. I generally demolish their protestations with some witty, scientifically provable remark and send them scurrying off with their tails between their legs. Outwith the harridan, I might act somewhat differently, but I don't think I could get away with it.

Gothenburg's self-driving bus trammed on day one

Brussels trams

My late wife once gave me a Birthday Present of a long weekend in Brussels. We had a marvellous time seeing all the sights and riding around the city on the excellent tram network. Unfortunately, we came across an accident which meant we had to alight from our tram and walk past another stationary tram to get to another mobile tram to continue our journey. The reason the stationary tram was stationary was that there was a dead pedestrian trapped underneath it, she had been dragged along over the cobbles, which had acted as a sort of meat grater and left a bloody trail of flesh between the rails. This upset many of the passengers, including my wife. Luckily this was on our last day in the city, so she would never have to ride a tram again.

Trolleybuses (beware, boring if you're not into buses)

I grew up in east London in the late 50s and early 60s, and lived very close to a trolleybus route (693, along Ilford High Road A118 and down Ilford lane to Barking). In fact I used to catch it to go to school until they discontinued them. The sound they made is very distinctive, the overhead wires used to twang as the collecting wheels ran along them. If you take a Slinky Spring (remember them?) and slide a piece of cardboard between two of its coils, the sound it makes as you shake it is extremely evocative and takes me back to my childhood. You could always tell if one was coming along because of the sound emanating from above. In the early 60s London Transport stopped running trolleybuses and demolished all of the overhead structures. I used to go on my bicycle to watch the poles being removed, they first cut them off about two feet from the ground and put them on a Pole Carrier truck, then they lowered a multi-piston hydraulic ram into the below ground part and expanded it to crack the concrete. This was repeated at 90 degrees to the first expansion, and the remaining six or so feet of the pole lifted out. Most of the Trolleybus routes were numbered in the 600 range, and the Routemaster fleet replacement routes were the same but in the 200 range. Thus the 638 I used to catch later became the 238 (Barking Station to Little Heath) in about 1961. I can remember seeing a whole fleet of brand new Routemasters parked up outside Barking Bus Depot (Code BK) as I went past on the 638 in 1959. The Routemasters slowly disappeared into the garage itself as they were placed into revenue service to replace BK's fleet of RTs (Regent Threes).

The latest innovation in UK public transport: Schrödinger's trains

Rural transport?

I live in the Welsh Marches. The Cambrian railway station in Oswestry was closed by Dr. Beeching in 1966, and has since been operated as an Heritage Railway. The track to the north of town still exists, and is passable as far as the West Coast Main Line station at Gobowen, approximately 6 miles away, and yet the Dept of Transport say that there is no funding available to operate a shuttle service between the two. Thus there is a fairly large town only six miles from a West Coast Main Line station, and yet no trains!

BOFH: Nothing says 'business continuity' like a dry wooden broom

Re: Outages

Christmas Eve 1976 we had an enormous thunderstorm. We had only recently moved into our 1840's cottage and were settling down to watch some variety show on the (B&W) TV when there was an enormous flash and a deafening bang, and the house was plunged into darkness. I looked out of the window and saw that the whole village was similarly dark, so we went to bed. Next morning (Christmas Day), we awoke to find still no power. I checked our main fuse, still OK, no power on the incomer. Went outside to see the pole transformer hanging drunkenly from the top of its pole with half its guts dangling outside the can, it had presumably been struck by lightning. We decided that it would probably take a considerable time to get fixed, so we decamped to the In-Laws' back in town for the rest of the festivities. The replacement took four days to arrive, during which the village was dark.

Apple update looks like Czech mate for locked-out iPhone user

Re: 7 bit ASCII

The WiFi password on my BT router contained spaces as the special character, but when they dumped me onto EE, the new EE router wouldn't accept spaces as a special character, so I had to replace them with underline characters, and then had to go round every device I or my family have to reset their passwords. A complete faff and so unnecessary.

Security contractor blew the whistle on support crew's viral indifference

Re: Lazy by design.

I had a similar experience, I was originally employed as a a Technical Writer, Editor, and Proofreader. After a while the Company bought a rival company, and our IT Manager became responsible for all eight branch offices. Each of the existing IT Managers became Deputies, and I was assigned to be Deputy in our (Head) office. A short time later we had a new Office Manager join us, and after a few weeks he summoned me to his cubicle and complained that I was not doing enough Technical Writing, hardly any Editing, and no Proofreading whatsoever. He also complained that I was spending too much time "fiddling with other people's computers", and that I should stop doing so. I asked him if he had actually read my Job Description, which he admitted he hadn't, so I sent him a copy. A quarter of an hour later, he rang me and apologised, he hadn't realised that I had been promoted, he said that he had rung Graham (IT Manager) and had his ears singed. As a result I was awarded a back-dated pay rise, as Graham had neglected to do so when he appointed me.

Engineer sabotaged hardware then complained when it didn't work

Re: At my place of work

Reminds me of when I was an apprentice at an automotive engineering firm. We had one of our number that we dubbed "Speedy", because he was absolutely useless at anything mechanical. He passed the degree course because he had a terrific memory and could remember any and all facts that he read, but when it came to actually applying those facts, well, no. He was originally given the nickname after the Lathework course at Apprentice Training School, the three week course included four "Stage Tests" wherein you had to make increasingly complicated pieces of work. He never completed the first, a simple pin punch, and nearly killed the Milling Machine Instructor when he broke a parting off tool and the broken piece flew the length of the Training School building and embedded itself in the cork pinboard next to the instructor's head.

Junior disobeyed orders and tried untested feature during a live robot demo

Re: "A bloke in a skirt".

When my late wife, Rosamund, was undergoing Chemotherapy, she of course lost all her hair. She felt uncomfortable wearing a wig, so she never did. On one occasion we were at a formal dinner, and she was wearing a trouser suit. The waiter approached her and asked if "Sir" would like some wine. She didn't answer, so the waiter addressed her as "Sir" again, at which point she began to cry. I towed the waiter away and informed him that he had just insulted my wife, and explained why she was bald. He was unrepentant, shrugged his shoulders, and walked off back to the kitchen.

On the contrary, I once took her in her wheelchair to Marks & Spencers to buy a bra. As we were proceeding along the aisle, a young sales assistant approached and asked me if she could help us. I replied that my wife was looking for a bra, and the assistant asked me "What size is she?" I replied "Don't ask me, ask her, I'm only the chauffeur". The assistant turned bright red, and sprinted away out of the aisle. About five minutes later, she reappeared, knelt down to place her face at the same level as Roz, and asked her what she needed. This was duly sorted out, and she then escorted us to the tills, past the waiting queue, and opened up another till to serve us. On subsequent visits to M&S, she would always seek us out and serve us personally. (I'm filling up writing this).

Don't do that!

When I was working on the development of some new stuff for the Navy, part of my duties included keeping a record of the equipment as it progressed, and writing and updating the Instruction Manual. One day we had the complete equipment in the Test Area for a heat run, which was to be observed by the Customer. Lots of gold braid and stripes on sleeves, and the test was started.

As I didn't have any involvement in the actual heat run, I took the opportunity to take a few photographs of the complete, buttoned up, suite as it stood in the Test Area. Whilst trying to get the whole suite in frame, I backed off into a corner of the area, and suddenly the whole department went very quiet and dark - I had inadvertently backed into one of the Big Red Buttons and shut everything down,

Howls of fury and protest from the testers, and the Scrambled Egg Brigade were unceremoniously led away. The whole test had to be rescheduled for the next day as it had to start from cold. Needless to say, I was NOT allowed into the Test Area for that or any subsequent heat runs, officially observed or not.

In the name of science: Boffins build fart-tracking undies

Re: Been anywhere near a herd of cows? Or a dog?

We used to have a Golden Retriever whose Kennel Club name was Five Winds Christabel. She had an intestinal problem, more so than the average dog, so she was known as Tail Winds Christasmell.

But seriously, where can I get one of these monitors?

As Shakespeare never said "Ahh, Farting is such sweet sorrow". (R&J)

Nanny state discovers Linux, demands it check kids' IDs before booting

Re: Comparing fruits

I encountered a ridiculous situation recently when trying to buy a cheap pruning saw on eBay. The website demanded that I prove my age, because I was attempting to buy a "Bladed Article", by submitting a Credit Card. It would not accept my Debit Card. As I no longer have a CC, I was stumped, so I contacted their helpline. They stated that a CC can only be held by an adult, whereas a DC can be issued to a minor, and as such is not proof of age. I countered with the fact that I had been registered with eBay since 1995, so I could not be younger than 31, but that did not cut any mustard.

I bought the saw from Amazon instead.

Desktop tech sent to prison for an education on strange places to put tattoos

Was: Fire training, now tyre safety

When I joined a tyre fitting company, which dealt with both private cars and trucks, I was shown a safety video in which it was explained in graphic detail what damage could be done by compressed air. The final message was make sure you are nowhere near a truck tyre when first inflating it, if it is on a three piece rim which has not been properly seated, it can explode. The final frame of the film showed a close-up of the ceiling of the fitting bay, with a perfect imprint in blood of the fitter who had been propelled over 20 feet into the air and stopped by said ceiling. He died.

ATM maintenance tech broke the bank by forgetting to return a key

Re: As little tale from my former banking life .. (tenuous ATM connection)

I owned a 1959 Chevrolet Parkwood Estate, the one with the huge fins along the side, when I was a poor student (it only cost me £150). One night it was stolen, so I reported it to Mr. Plod and borrowed my mother's 100E to get back and forth to college. Some days later, there was a knock at the door of my parent's flat, and the biggest policeman I have ever seen eased his way through the doorway. He demanded to know where I had been late the previous evening, and my parents assured him that I was there watching TV with them. He then explained that "my" car had been used in a ram raid on a jewellers' supplies shop in Clerkenwell (London), and had demolished the entire front of the building, crushing the poor Chevy under tons of masonry. I asked if I could have the car back to rebuild it, but was told that they had to retain it as evedence, and it was scrapped soon after.

Re: The Key to Everything

My keyring has only two keys attached to it, the car key and my house key. I replaced all four of the locks in the house when I moved in with a set of "Keyed alike" Euro barrels, and subsequently added two Keyed alike Yale locks to the shed and garage, so now one key fits all. The keyfob itself is a transparent plastic jobbie containing two barcodes, one for Nectar and the other for Morrisons' More card, scanned and reprinted using some free barcode printing software.

New boss was bad, his attitude was ugly, so the tech team pranked him good

Re: One particularly hated manager ...

When my wife was in remission (Ovarian Cancer), we took our caravan and invaded Scotland. One of our better days out was a trip to Skye, where we ended up visiting a hide from where we could watch the seal colony. When we arrived in the car park, the unmade road onwards to the actual hide was padlocked, and a notice informed us that Blue Badge holders could obtain the four digit code by phoning an Edinburgh number. Only trouble was, no landline anywhere near, and no mobile reception, so we were faced with returning to the Mainland to either get reception or find a phone box. I took a close look at the combination lock, and cracked it in about 30 seconds, so we could drive up to the hide and SWMBO would not have to walk or suffer the discomfort of having me push her in her wheelchair over the rough track to get there.

Developer battled to write his own documentation, but lost the boss fight

Re: I used to own a sports bar/restaurant

My pet hate is the word "GOT". It is a black weed that grows up through the cracks in the English language. It has no reason to exist other than as the past tense of "to get". It has absolutely no place where it is intended to indicate urgency or necessity, "I have got to..." means no more than "I have to...", and if that isn't urgent enough, why not say "I must...".

Re: Hmm

When I was released from hospital after a week recuperating from heart surgery, I was given a different brand of Paracetamol than that used on the ward. My condition started to deteriorate as soon as I got home, so much so that I was bedridden after just six days. I thought that it could have been a reaction to one of the new medications I had been prescribed, so I read through all of the Patient Information Leaflets (PILs) to see if there was anything obvious. When I read the Paracetamol PIL, it stated that "Warning, this medication contains the preservative Sodium Metabisulphite (SMB), which can lead to..." followed by a list of rather nasty side effects, ending with "...and Death." Oooer! don't want to go there, so I stopped taking that brand and changed to a different one that did not contain SMB. A few days later I submitted a Yellow Card to the authorities (MHRA, I think), and warned both the Surgeon and the Hospital Dispensary, both of whom submitted Yellow Cards. Some time later, by then fully recovered, I looked at the PIL for a later batch of that brand (I worked at a pharmacy) and found that they had removed the Warning and replaced it with a Caution, saying merely that the preservative "...may cause breathing difficulties...", with no mention of a visit from the Grim Reaper. I am now sensitized to SMB, which means that I have to check every purchase for its presence, and avoid those foods that contain it. This means that I can no longer enjoy a Cheese and Pickle sandwich if it contains my favourite, Branston Pickle :-(

Help desk boss fell for ‘Internet Cleaning Day’ prank - then swore he got the joke

Re: Has your tech team pranked colleagues?

When I was an apprentice, one of our instructors ("Knocker" White) would regularly send one of the newbies to the stores to get a long weight and a packet of sparks for the grinding machine. The storeman cottoned on to this and prepared a few polythene packets of grinds from a bench grinder to give to said newbies, after letting them stand for a few minutes at the serving hatch. Knocker was highly amused the first time, but the joke rapidly went sour and such hazing soon stopped. (Goggles because, you know, grinding?)

‘IT manager’ needed tech support because they had never heard of a command line

Re: I've seen that type of manager before

When I was working for a large electrical manufacturing company, I was asked to write the Instruction Manual for the product we were developing. Later, I wrote IBs for several other products, and slowly became completely integrated into Technical Manuals Department. On re-structuration of the company, the Chief Engineer of that department decided to retire, and I was asked to take over his position. As it was a Grade 6 position, that meant that I would be on call 24/7 and would not be eligible to earn extra by working overtime. I renegotiated the position to be a Grade 5, Principal Engineer, but with the same salary, plus overtime if I wanted, and only 9 - 5 so I could forget about work in the evenings and weekends. I stayed in that position until the whole department was made redundant and our work was downloaded onto the Sales Department (who made a complete hash of it!)

I was a part-time DBA. After this failover foul-up, they hired a full-time DBA

Re: Blind Spot

I once tried to follow the instructions to cook a "Ten Minute Meal". The very first instruction was to boil the rice for 15 minutes. So how can that and all the other preparation be done inside the advertised ten minute window?

Basic projector repair job turns into armed encounter at secret bunker

Re: How did you get in here?

I once went for a job as ground crew at a small air freight company on Bowman Field, Louisville KY. While I was waiting to see the Managing Director to be interviewed, I was chatting with the young secretary on the front desk. I eventually got the job, and the other mechanics gave me the nickname "Spider". I asked why this was and was told that they thought that I was a crawler, chatting up the MD's daughter in order to curry favour and get the job. I protested that I had no idea that she was the MD's daughter, that I wasn't chatting her up, and that I already had a GF who I would not want to two-time. They accepted my protestation, but still called me Spider for the whole time I worked there.

Re: How did you get in here?

When I was working for Tyre Services (GB) Ltd. as a breakdown tyre fitter, I had on several occasions to attend a tyre failure at Corley Services on the M6, quite close to our depot. On my first visit, and after changing a lorry tyre, I went to get a cuppa at the Truck Stop, but it was closed and I was redirected to the front services. I entered the canteen there, still wearing my overalls and smeared with grease, rubber dust, and tarmac skidmarks, and asked the lady for a cup of tea. She looked at my dishevelled appearance and asked "You transport, dear?" On my admittance that I was, she reached under the counter and brought forth an enormous china mug, at least half a pint in capacity, and proceeded to fill it with tea, for which she charged me the princely sum of 10P. I always visited her on subsequent trips to Corley.

Re: Lower ranking officers

Makes my blood boil when an advert announces that the company concerned has "a thousand Engineers" waiting to come and fix your boiler/car/washing machine. No they don't, they may have a thousand technicians, but not one of them is a time served Engineer who has spent at least four years gaining a Degree in an engineering subject. I have complained to the Advertising Standards Bureau, but they shrug it off and say that it has become common usage. Bah! Humbug!

Re: Higher ranking officers

When I was in the ROC, we had an officer whose rank and name was Observer Officer (Jenny) Major.

Real estate agents use the power of AI to command plumbing, layout to disappear

Visit before buying

Some weeks after the disappointment I referred to above, another property popped up on the web. I drove over to have a look at it and was duly impressed. There were some problems that needed attention, but on the whole, it suited my purpose. I phoned the agents and asked to be given a viewing, but they couldn't arrange one for a couple of days. On the appointed day I drove over early and spent about two hours poking my nose into every nook and cranny on the outside, making copious notes of the faults (eg asbestos soffits, rotten garage door jambs, time expired central heating boiler (but this one was in the garage, not the house), etc. As the agent drove down the driveway and stopped, he opened his car door and I said "I'll take it". He replied "But you haven't seen inside yet" to which I replied "I don't really need to go inside, I can see what I need through the windows." I have lived here for over 8 years now, and most of the problems have been solved, but I am still waiting for the new carpet I was promised on day one.

Re: Not Just AI...

I went to view a bungalow near Welshpool with an eye to renting it after I was forced out of my home of 35 years. The bungalow was delightful, nicely situated in a small village some 10 miles from the town, and had extensive grounds and a small orchard. Immediately I walked into the building, I was struck (literally) by the all pervading stench of Kerosene, the central heating boiler was located in the corner of the open plan kitchen/diner, and the whole house stank, although the agency had somehow failed to mention this.

While I was being shown round by the agent, another couple turned up and went to sit in the living room to wait their turn.

After I returned to the place I was staying (my Brother-in-law's smallholding about 30 miles away) in order to think about it, I looked at it again on the agent's website and noticed that it was marked as "Let Agreed". I presume that that second couple had taken it, despite what I considered to be an impossible problem to living there.

BOFH: Deepfake or just an idiot? We'll need an audit to confirm

Password reminder

I also use my past registration marks as passwords, but with the addition of various spaces/dashes/underlines to satisfy the requirements for symbols.

I caught a cold with this recently when I was unceremoniously moved from BT to EE and they sent me a new router. The old BT router accepted spaces in the password, but the EE router didn't, so I had to revisit every device connected to it and change all the spaces to minuses. Not exactly a difficult task, but one I could have done without, and why the difference anyway?

I do not use my Cherished Registration Mark, that has not changed since I acquired it attached to an old banger in 1974, and is now on a Retention Certificate as it is worth loadsa money.

The Smoot – How an MIT prank became a lasting unit of measurement

Re: the thickness of screw threads was not fully standardized in the US

My old man drummed this into me when I was about four years old. He was a Medical Research Instrument Maker, and taught me most of what I know, so much so that my Engineering Apprenticeship was a doddle.

‘I nearly died after flying thousands of miles to install a power cord for the NSA’

Re: Vintage Kit from the 1980's

When I was an apprentice with a large motor manufacturing company in the late sixties and early seventies, one of our most feared postings was to an electrical subsidiary in Belfast during the Troubles. Luckily, I was posted to their equivalent in Enfield, north London, but several of my peers who did go to Belfast told harrowing stories on their return, and one actually committed suicide because of his experiences there.

Yes, I wrote a very expensive bug. In my defense I was only seven years old at the time

Females with masculin names.

My Mother's name was Winifred, which she hated and used her third name, Jean, all her life, I had a girlfriend when at Uni, her name was also Winifred, but as she had no middle name she introduced herself as Fred. Much consternation ensued when I announced to my parents that I was dating Fred, but all became clear when I brought her home to meet them.

Norwegian lotto mistakenly told thousands they were filthy rich after math error

EuroMillions

I've been telling EuroMillions what the numbers should be for years now, but they STILL keep getting it wrong

Don't shoot me, I'm only the system administrator!

Re: Land of the Free - to be shot

When I took my driving test in Louisville, KY in 1963, the driving tester wore a .45 on each hip, and was so wide that I was scrunched up against the driver's door of our 56 Chevy. He was more interested in giving me the third degree about driving "on the wrong side of the road" where I came from than he was in my actual driving. I actually ran a red light because I was so nervous, but as it was a "Turn right on red after stop" he only admonished me for not quite stopping.

Second Jeju Air 737-800 experiences mechanical issues following deadly crash

Re: Clickbaity title

"no matter how hard they pressed the brake they couldn't stop the car (which anyone who has ever driven a car knows is ridiculous)"

Not ridiculous, happened to me when the throttle linkage of a brand new (under 1000 miles) Pontiac overcentred and ran away with me, and no matter how hard I pressed the brake, it just kept on accelerating. Only way to stop it was to switch off the ignition and wait for it to slow down. Local cops were not impressed at my 110MPH dash through Sutter, Illinois.

Re: Not a landing gear problem

IFIRC, the Kegworth crash was caused by shutting down the wrong engine, but in that case the pilots thought they were shutting down the failed engine, but a crossed pair of sensors somewhere in the wiring loom deep in the fuselage gave them the wrong information. That was a clear case of a potentially lethal fault being designed into the loom, as both left and right plugs were identical, and could be (and were) transposed during routine maintenance.

In 1989 I was living and working in Rugby, and remember it happening only a few miles North of us.

NetAdmin learns that wooden chocks, unlike swipe cards, open doors when networks can't

Re: Overkill

When I was working in the Site Services Department of a large electrical manufacturer, I was entrusted with the Submaster Key for our section of the much larger site,so I had access to everywhere on our watch, but not the other three companies on the site. I once had occasion to borrow the Barrel Removal Key from Site Security, and noticed that it was only a couple of wards different from my Submaster key. Just a few strokes with a swiss file, and I had my very own Barrel Removal Key, which greatly eased my daily operations.

Re: How did you get into this room?

Many years ago my wife and I were touring Europe in our Mk111 Cortina and Sears Roebuck tent, we were leaving Italy over the Splugen pass into Switzerland. At the top of the pass, there are two Border Control barriers, where passports must be shown (before the EU eliminated this requirement). Late Saturday evening we arrived to find both offices securely locked, and both of the barriers wide open. Security? what security?

Your air fryer might be snitching on you to China

Re: They want data?

Some years ago I was "working away" in Finland. I usually have Classic FM on in the background, and was missing it whilst over there. I discovered that Classic was available over the Internet, but it detected that I was not in the UK, so refused to play. It gave me the option to tell it the Postcode of my location, and after entering my home postcode, over 1000km away, it played happily, although with a two hour timeslip, but I could live with that.

Re: It won't be "China", its some parasitic data broker

I was recently in the market for a potato rumbler. I found four listed on Amazon ranging in price from £40 to £160. Upon downloading the instruction manuals for all four, I was amazed to find that, apart from some very minor differences in colour and graphics, they were all identical. I therefor purchased the £40 one, which does the job perfectly and saved me a possible £120.

Hide the keyboard – it's the only way to keep this software running

Re: Nicknames

I was given my nickname by my primary school teacher, Mr. Isbester, when I was 11 years old. I was the only member of my class that knew about Pi, and could recite it to ten decimal places. He asked who had told me, and when I explained that my father worked at University College, London, he dubbed me "Professor Purvis", a nickname that I have carried through school, university, and most of my working life.

UK sleep experts say it's time to kill daylight saving for good

9 to 5

I worked in an office in Birmingham (UK) that was supposed to be on a strict 9 to 5 working day. I used to get in at 8 in order to make sure all the IT was up and running before the Technical Writers arrived at 9. I also ran all of the previous day's 3.5" output discs through the AV Sandbox before putting them in the Outgoing Post box.

On more than one occasion complaints were made that I was leaving at 4, until I pointed out that I had already done an hour's work before the rest of them arrived.

The major advantage was the lighter traffic for both my morning and afternoon commutes.