* Posts by Auntie Dickspray

19 posts • joined 19 Jan 2021

The old New: Windows veteran explains that menu item

Auntie Dickspray
FAIL

Because of Les, She's No Longer on "The Talk"

When Julie Chenbot claims that "programs aren't really things that you think about. What you really work on are documents," I cringe at her robotic spin.

I always think about the program that is about to mangle my document. Open a heavily formatted Word document in LibreOffice's Writer? Are you out of your open-sourced mind? No knocks to Writer, but it is what it is, and it ain't a Word equivalent.

Will this craplet sacrifice the color depth, resolution, etc., of my image file? You get the idea.

Tell Julie to drop an image into a self-addressed Microsoft Outlook message, click Send, and then view what she receives: An image horribly degraded -- automatically, with no opt-out -- by Outlook.

Then, maybe, she will understand that she should have thought about the program.

Coincidentally, it is, of course, crapware that her own company spawned.

You're not imagining it. Amazon and AWS want to hire all your friends, enemies, and everyone in between

Auntie Dickspray
Mushroom

Why Work for a Psycho?

The 2015 story in The New York Times appeared just as Amazon was starting its pitch to me. Other online horror stories had already killed the thrill of being courted; that piece buried it.

I still remember an online anecdote from an Ama-wife describing the reality of cheapskate Bozo's cramped, partition-free, shared office spaces and the psycho's dogs-in-the-office policy: Barking, whining, begging, shedding, vomiting, shitting, and sticking their noses in strangers' crotches (including her husband's). Absolutely Revolting.

While there are plenty from "shit-hole countries" who might put up with that psycho's policies, neither they nor we should. Christ, it's 2021, and we reside in the First World.

What the hell is wrong with people that they don't tell Bozo to go F himself?

Have some self-respect, please!

That's why I had left Microsoft previously. There was some fun tech and plenty of smart coworkers, but the corporate Nazis, a$$hole bootlickers, and scared-into-silence numbered far too many. I had top metrics, but who the F cares? The environment was ultimately abusive and oppressive. And Gates, himself? OMG, the little old cantankerous lady (who complained about everything) was boring, charmless, and surrounded by obsequious yes-men (reminds me of Tim Cook).

Monopolies are dangerous for so many reasons, yet the rape artists are still celebrated. Just look at Bozo's dildo launch today. The press ate it up. Not one critical word.

Where on Gartner's Hype Cycle is Gartner's Hype Cycle?

Auntie Dickspray
Terminator

Re: Useful idiots

Please stop humoring them. Enough with the dumbed-down charts. Make the lazy bastards read.

Anyone stuck with the worst of the C-Suiters (and the "C" word works best when spelled out) knows that a quick snap of their necks would help cull a useless population of obnoxious, clueless, ridiculously overpaid ladder climbers.

Imagine never again having to endure their favorite buzzwords: Gartner, process, synergy, Agile, Six Sigma...

I can hear the corn a-popping.

Windows 11: What we like and don't like about Microsoft's operating system so far

Auntie Dickspray
Mushroom

Wasting the Time and Money of Every User

More horrid, time-wasting crap from M$-Monopoly.

Anyone forking the discontinued Classic Shell?

SQL Server beta for Windows Server Containers terminated 'with immediate effect'

Auntie Dickspray
Stop

Re: Microsoft is actively ignoring all what is not Azure

Subscriptions to The Cloud for Everything are the poison of the future.

You have been recast as a renter. You own nothing. Your IP is now buried so deep in SharePoint (and crap like Teams...which is really SharePoint), you'll never get it out of its new sewer.

Micro$haft's goal is to drive customers to The Cloud while destroying their villages, making any return unlikely.

Corporations are such shortsighted suckers, ripe for the plucking.

Biden to sign exec order calling for right-to-repair rules for farmers, maybe rest of us

Auntie Dickspray
Paris Hilton

Re: About time!

Peleton improved the software on its treadmills, by adding silently the ability for parents at wits' end to steamroll their destructive accidents by "accident." For that, Peleton should be applauded.

As for anyone who would buy those de facto clothes hangers -- or worse, the narcissist's-best-friend "Mirror" that comes with bullying and a B.O.-spraying scent diffuser -- well, you have more cents than sense.

I say, enjoy the subscription. After all, Mirror, Mirror, what a pittance for celebrated and requited self-love!

It's the only way the company came up with to survive and to continue its catering to narcissists.

Age discrimination case against IBM leaks emails, docs via bad redaction

Auntie Dickspray
Mushroom

Claw Back the Criminals' Compensation

How ironic that Old-Bag Ginni was a major player in Axe-the-Seniors @ IBM. Of course, the Wicked Witch and the rest of the overcompensated C Suite will never suffer their own poison.

What is just compensation for the aggrieved?

For all such cases, it should include a treble-the-years-of-the-crime sentence of mandatory over-40 hiring. That's right: You won't even be able to hire a janitor, unless he has gray starting to show at his temples.

How's that for corporate "right-sizing"?

Evidence planted on laptops of jailed Indian activists, says forensics firm Arsenal Consulting

Auntie Dickspray
Thumb Up

Dictators to Sue a Complicit Big-Tech Company?

I hope that Twitter is sued out of existence by the same repressive governments to whom Twitter caters.

Not for children: Audacity fans drop the f-bomb after privacy agreement changes

Auntie Dickspray
FAIL

Brain-Damaged IT Youths (Re: Depressing)

-----

What brain damage, in today's IT youths.

Your IT elders knew a world before scumbags got their mitts on everything.

That one would ever compromise decency...says it all.

-----

Among other crimes:

- Google having the gaul to read and mine e-mails.

- Fecesbook pissing on privacy and inciting the masses.

- Microsoft's monopoly O/S forcing updates and ads.

-----

Old versions excepted, Audacity is dead to me.

-----

Let the fork and renaming begin!

Now everyone can take in the sights and smells of a London tram station shut for 70 years

Auntie Dickspray
Pint

Repurpose the Mothballed for Uses Better than City Junk Storage

Ideas:

Modern trams for tourists and the lower classes. Complimentary feed bag, if you promise to stay out of our restaurants.

A "Go Green" rickshaw network, manned only by the Empire's imports. Historical and hysterical.

For underground sections, flood them and add gondola rides manned by citizens who have or can affect an Italian accent. All the charm of Venice, but the option to bail immediately after paying your overpriced fare.

For underground sections, add 24-hour sports bars with adjacent pissoirs, vomitoria, and fist-fight spaces. Turn around a bad reputation by burying the problem. Bonus points: A random cave-in every two years, to thin the herd of undesirables.

One good deed leads to a storm in an Exchange Server

Auntie Dickspray
Stop

Management Idiots Put Him There

Lucas is today's hipster a$$h0le, whose narcissism exceeds his ability and the patience of his elders.

Only rapid, repeated kicks to his genitals may adjust his disposition and increase the morale of his suffering coworkers.

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance

Auntie Dickspray

Re: Laptop + Monitor = two computers?

Now the magic is even stronger. I have a smart key fob that I keep in my pocket. To unlock the car door, I just put my hand on the handle and the door automatically unlocks. To start the car, I press a button. The key never leaves my pocket.

Philanthropist and ex-Microsoft manager Melinda Gates and her husband Bill split after 27 years of marriage

Auntie Dickspray
Childcatcher

Marry the Rich and Ditch

Let's boil it down:

1. He's like a cat-encumbered, recycled-fabric-wrapped old woman on the brink of dotage, which sounds like dot Net's aftermath.

2. She's maxed out on marry-ugly-but-rich, having gotten fat, bitchier, and, after Mrs. Bezos's bailing, prone to impatient watch-gazing.

3. Their litter didn't produce any tycoons, Einsteins, or contagious family warmth.

4. Apparently out of a sense of duty (read: avoiding minors/money legal entanglements), the marriage was prolonged just long enough to see the offspring to the threshold of adulthood.

Finally, let's make the connection so far unstated, by asking: Why is Calibri coincidentally being replaced just now?

"The Enquirer" math:

1. "Calibri" was imposed in 2007, as a sudden, unnecessary, crap replacement for Times New Roman.

2. Why that odd name? "Calibri" = "Cr" + "alibi"...a shortening of "crap alibi." Bill's penance and reminder of an indiscretion.

3. Now that the duo is splitting, "Calibri" is just as quickly going away.

You're welcome.

George Clooney of IT: Dribbling disaster and damp disk warnings scare the life out of innocent user

Auntie Dickspray

Re: I remember a Apple joke

Does anyone remember XRoach? If you moved a window on the desktop, a bunch of roaches would appear, scurry across the screen and then hide behind another window.

We need a 20MW 20,000-GPU-strong machine-learning supercomputer to build EU's planned digital twin of Earth

Auntie Dickspray

Re: A small ask, but...

No but they'll be able to predict the weather in 150 years with 100% certainty.

How do you save an ailing sales pitch? Just burn down the client's office with their own whiteboard

Auntie Dickspray

Re: also I still don't get what advantages 110v has

> Your comment prompted me to search a bit, and I found this article which has a sentence that can resume the issue :

> The Pearl Street Station also provided DC at 110 V, considered to be a "safe" voltage for consumers, beginning September 4, 1882.

Battle between Edison and Westinghouse was not 110 vs 220, but DC vs AC.

Edison, a supporter of DC, demonstrated the lethality of AC by electrocuting stray dogs.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/edison-vs-westinghouse-a-shocking-rivalry-102146036/

US gov sets up the National Artificial Intelligence Initiative Office at the last minute before Trump's presidency ends

Auntie Dickspray
Terminator

Re: Only Weak-Willed Suckers with No Self-Respect Submit to Recorded Video Interviews

Sorry, I don't know who that is, and I don't want to look at any fecal recognition software.

Auntie Dickspray
Stop

Only Weak-Willed Suckers with No Self-Respect Submit to Recorded Video Interviews

The title says it all.

Keywords:

- Forced Opt-In.

- Arbitration Clause.

- Easier-Than-Ever Age/Race/Sex Discrimination.

Hype from the sellers of this shitware aside, only a handful of firms pull this BS.

Honeywell is one of them. I gave them the finger and told them why. In the end: Multiple high offers from other companies, and none required video prostitution.

So, keep the faith and just say no!

Back to the office with you: 'Perhaps 5 days is too much family time' – Workday CEO

Auntie Dickspray
Mushroom

Letters of CEO's Name: "i.e., Anel Shrub"

Anyone who has had to use that CEO's retro crapware may agree that it needs all hands on deck, but that does not mean that the greedy goon's quagmire applies everywhere else.

Talented techs do not have to put up with any longer the likes of his foreign-scented farts of thought. Employers who do not give the talented freedom to WFH will risk losing them.

Thanks to evolved tech and the Wuhan bio weapon, the success of WFH has been proven, finally, across the world. The corporate sleepwalk of wasting millions monthly on each office-space rent in SF, NYC, ATL, etc., is now in the crosshairs, as is the deprecated quality of life of the stressed-out wasting hours in traffic jams every working day.

So, Shrub, take your tie, jacket, and musings, and cram them.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021