* Posts by Geoff Webber

59 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Sep 2007


The Dragon 32 is 30

Geoff Webber

So is My Son

1 Week before my son was born in November 1982 I purchased one of these.

I had to travel all the way to London from Weymouth on the train as there were no stockists anywhere near Dorset.

I started by religiously typing in program listings from magazines, I soon learnt debugging!

All those syntax errors...

When my wife returned home 1 week later I thought I would impress her with "Press the space bar dear".

It ran a simple program that looped "Welcome Home" in random (blocky) colours. "Oh is that all it does" says she :-(

I went on to write a number of games that I sold via the user Mags.

Suffice to say I still have my Dragon Computer the wifely Dragon is no more.

I am now thinking about retiring from my job in computing and digging the Dragon out of the loft to get back to some Basic coding....

Ahhh, those were the days.

Busty blogger bursts Bulgarian airbag in mud-wrestle blunder

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

Its all Dutch to me!

@K I checked out the blog but its all in a foreign language!

Paris, because she would have impressive air bags used to that kind of treatment.

Pub landlady's footie sat-TV battle moves law's goal posts

Geoff Webber

Re: Does it mean......

Apparently so

Sky have forced a similar issue onto F1 fans who have been buying up RTL and German sat boxes so that they can still see the live races. Commentary provided by the BBC via 5 Live

India uncloaks new thorium nuke plants

Geoff Webber
Thumb Up


And faceclothed!

Virgin Media set-top box modder gets 5 years

Geoff Webber
Big Brother


I seem to remember Homer Simpson had one of these boxes years ago, this isn't a new story!

Blighty suffers 'real shortage of serviceable conkers'

Geoff Webber

Conkers - Bonkers

I suspect that the shortage will be exacerbated by the strange procedure of placing conkers in the corners of rooms to stave of imminent (and fatal) attacks from spiders.

It does work honest!

BT expands fibre rollout

Geoff Webber

@ Mr Moffat

Hmm - not sure about your point. All the local press seem to support my point, plus I actually spoke to the guy from the County Council who is dealing with this at a barbecue some time ago and he seemed to confirm that the infrastructure would be available to local users.


Geoff Webber

Coming to me - but maybe not permanently

Many years ago some bright sparks laid trunking in all the pavements and verges between Dorchester and Weymouth ready for the cable revolution. It never came.

In a county that has no cities and no motorways I think the concept was far too radical.

Now we have the olympics coming to town. The sailing events are being held in Weymouth & Portland and amazingly so is fibre (to serve the event venue).

The most amazing thing of all is that once the event is over there is no guarantee that they will leave it in place for us poor locals to make use of!

So much for a lasting legacy.

Local business have had to lobby for its retention and there are still no guarantees that we will win.

PARIS hits the road with live GPS tracker test

Geoff Webber
Black Helicopters

whats wrong with the UK

Why does the map show some foreign country with funny road names.

Teen's mobe loaded with X-rated smut

Geoff Webber


What is there to say that the pron wasnt already there when she took the phone in for repair. No-one seems to say that the PC engineers put stuff on computers when dipstick pervs hand their PC's in and get caught!

Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates

Geoff Webber
IT Angle

Why cant we

Have a mugshots site like this in the UK. This is one americanism I like!!

Man remanded for extreme porn offences

Geoff Webber
Thumb Down

supply and demand

whilst the argument holds water on what individuals should and should not do in the privacy of their own home.

The issue is in the supply chain.

I'm sure that no-one can give me a reasoned argument that says it is right and proper to induce or even force children (or animals) into acts that have no basis in biology other than for self gratification or as is more often the case a purely financial operation aimed at vulnerable people.

Truck drivers! Don't go texting now

Geoff Webber

not restricted to lorry drovers

I have seen kids (yoofs) on mopeds texting as they ride along the road. Obviously they dont wear gloves as that wuld cors mispeling.

Armoured jacket in case I fall off

Fans decry tennis gal's breast-slash plan

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton


for me the footage was spoilt by the needless tittering from the audience.

Paris.............. she has balls as well

Man accused of trying to kill girlfriend with WiiMote

Geoff Webber

pin head?

Now if I am not mistaken ( and mainly because I have 2 myself) the wii remote safety strap is not long enough to go over a normal head even when the locking toggle is fully undone.

We all know that merkins can be a little simple at times but to suggest that they have little or no brains (thus resulting in a reduced cranium) is a tad too extreme.

Exclamation icon - because you would have to be this thin...

HDTV 'pointless' without perfect peepers

Geoff Webber


My eyesight isn't perfect - I need glasses for reading.

But I can certainly tell the difference between HD / Upscaled SD and SD pictures perfectly well.

I may not get the full benefit, but i always opt for an HD version of something because it is visibly better than the SD one

Big Blue urged to open Notes and Domino

Geoff Webber

so what options do I have

Many years ago I worked for a fire service as a Notes developer using R3. With very little coding skills I converted a number of DOS based systems running on single PC's into shared databases that could be accessed by any user (with differing levels of permissions on a field by field basis - where necessary) anywhere within the organisation.

We even considered making the hydrant register available in appliances via mobile PC's. One advantage of this would be that every appliance in the county would have access to details for every hydrant (location, size of main, pressure and flow etc) instead of paper cards just for the station where that appliance was currently deployed.

The only reason this project was not implemented was cost.

I also converted the following systems.

Training and personnel

Fleet maintenance

Fire safety (including stored images of plans and certificates)

The main benefit was that all relevant users would have access to the data on their machine - regardless of location - due to Notes replication.

And all of this available via a single application - the Notes desktop.

I am in the process of applying for a job at another organisation that has similar requirements.

Can anyone point me at another development tool where I can create systems to cover a wide range of differing business needs that I can make available to remote users WAN, LAN and Web. without the need to learn a new coding language.

PS I know about .net and sql databases. I work for a firm that use these tools currently and its a slow process to get anything delivered. I would be willing to bet I could create a Notes app to handle (lets say) bookings for a caravan park quicker than a .net / sql developer

HP breaks Japanese excessive packaging record

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton


follow a similar method.

They use standard size boxes, so you can order a bag of plumbing bits (15mm end-feed elbows, for example) and it will turn up in a box 2ft * 1ft * 18 inches. thoughtfully they use some sort of shrink wrap to stop it rattling around.

You also get a free screwfix catalogue every time you order -regardless of how often you order.

Then to top it all off they send you one in the post each month as well.

Paris because she will need a screw fixed

DARPA: Self-repairing, learning kill-robot tech is go

Geoff Webber

umm - missing the bleedin obvious?

Now I am not a super intelligent tefal head but as i understand it the thing can repair its own electrical bits.. is that correct.

I may have spotted a flaw in the device shown in the pictures.

It has Rubber tyres which are no real deterrent to fast flying sharp pointy and hot things that will make the tyre go bang.

Or have they devised self repairing tyres as well.

RunFlats are probably not much use on a vehicle of this weight.

Euro court blocks Lego trademark bid

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

rubber lego

many years ago (and I mean many) I had some rubber building bricks that had nipples and joined together in exactly the same way that lego does.

In fact the bonding was even better as the nipples fitted into sockets on the underside of the other brick.

If my memory serves me well enough there were all sorts of specialised items as well, doors, roof parts etc etc.

The best bit of all was that you could chew them, something that I would not recommend with the modern hard plastic version.

Paris for a whole range of sexual overtones (rubber, nipple, chewing, bonding)

Lib Dem stripogram councillor quits politics

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

2 for the price of one

Why not go for the bargain of 2 strips for £160 (with a costume change)?

Mind you having seen it once i'm not quite sure how a costume change makes any difference.

Better value for money can be had with Cherry (as far as i can see....)

Paris - well because it fits !!

El Reg in Street View drive-by snooping

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

on the phone again

Is the operator on the phone? or is he merely resting his head in his left hand.

Its not the first time one of the google ops have been spotted driving and phoning

Paris looks as if she's on the dog and bone

BAE's bandwidth blimp-bot takes off (indoors)

Geoff Webber
Black Helicopters

sitting target


has nobody thought that something quite large and rather slow would make an easy target for all manner of ordnance.

There is insufficient lift capacity to carry much in the way of defensive equipment, so it will end up a sitting duck (balloon)

Black helicopters - because they will have to fly alongside to protect it.

'U-turn' West: MI5 watching 'great' terror plot right now

Geoff Webber
Black Helicopters

terrorism ?

Surely the whole point of terrorism is the terror bit.

One would think that its the terrorists job to make us frightened.

As we all have seen the terror events tend to focus around London and other major centres of population.

I live 100's miles from any of those such places and I am not terrorised in the least.

If someone gets killed by a bomb or whatever that is very sad but it doesn't frighten me at all.

Now if the terrorists have the ability to make people who live in the target areas a bit concerned, who is going to frighten the rest of us?

Well that's easy, the Gov't, that way we can all be part of the fear - well that's what they would like.

In some ways I think I would like to be a terrorist, but I would be a clever one and spread my actions around the country a bit more. The last thing I would do is blow my self up. What's the fun in that?

The countryside is full of soft targets, I could drive around the back lanes away from all the CCTV stuff and blast people in small towns.

Now that would really start to spook people.

I would like to make it clear that I am not a terrorist or have any terrorist intentions, (just in case the SS are reading this and come looking for me :-( )

The point of my rant is that the terrorists are far less scary than the govt who are much more likely to cause me harm.

Black helicopters - cuz i suspect I'll be followed by one on my way home from work on my getaway moped.....

Black widows: Coming soon to a kitchen sink near you

Geoff Webber

things that go bump in the night

A few nights ago i was woken by something crawling over my face.

In one swift move I grabbed whatever it was and lobbed it across the room.

The most disconcerting thing about the whole event was the clunk as whatever it was hit the radiator 4 feet away......

I was once stung on the tonguw by a wasp that had climbed into my bottle of beer when I wasnt looking.

Not sure If i fancy being bitten in the mouth whilst sleeping.

Renault looks to wee-hued windows to cut car power draw

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

whats in the back

What is all that space for in the back?.

Is there enough room for a mattress or blow up bed?

Paris - for obvious reasons

Venturi shows eight-motor electric sportster

Geoff Webber

Oh Dear

I misread the second headline.

I thought it said "made in meccano" - now that would have been something!

Revealed: How Street View marks its territory

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

I want to know

How google knew in advance of the need for spot marking and placed the handy red arrow on the ground so that the driver would know where to go.

Paris - cuz she always knows where to go for the best effect

NZ in 'Old Bo***ck Road' balls-up

Geoff Webber

In Bere Regis / Dorset

Shitterton is a suberb (if you can call it that) of the above named town.

Oddly, Google maps ignore the fact that it exists, but good old wikipedia has a reference to it.

Old ships' logs show temporary global warming in 1730s

Geoff Webber

@Hig Hurtenflurst

<Tall penguins or low bird table?>

neither - the penguins stand on the snowdrift !

Geoff Webber

Little ice age

I wonder if Mr Wheeler has managed to read as far as the 1770's.

The hot period referred to here was followed by one of the 3 little ice ages.

Now don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that climate change is happening and that we have little control of the outcomes.

It would seem pretty obvious that if certain substances and chemicals are likely to exacerbate the problem then we should do all we can to reduce the use / output of those.

A bigger worry is a (long overdue) return to much colder conditions.

The UK and northern Europe are protected by the warming effect of the Atlantic conveyor.

Negate its effects and we could be in for a much worse time than if the temperature goes up by a few more degrees.

Penguins - because they could be eating from my bird table shortly!

And yes I know that penguins are found at the southern pole not the northern one.

The ones i refer to will have escaped from zoo's

Research: Wind power pricier, emits more CO2 than thought

Geoff Webber
Thumb Up

Real time national grid data

if you go here ..............>


you can see how energy is being pushed around the country (and bought in from abroad) to meet demand

Northrop scoops DARPA mindreader-helmet threat visor cash

Geoff Webber
Paris Hilton

Hmm hope they dont fight in France

What on earth will they be thinking about as they charge up the Champs Elysee?


In which case there could be no telling what targets get selected


Paris because she is obvious

MPs urge action as spooky caller ID-faking services hit UK

Geoff Webber

applicable law

Apparently If I choose to sign up for this service their T&C's are governed by New York state law, hardly likely to worry me or anybody else in the UK.!!....

PS how does one lobby for this to be stopped without attracting more exposure to the service?

T5 Transformers t-shirt bust: Shock snap

Geoff Webber

Is it friday already?

This is unfair, publishing Playmobil reconstructions of popular news items on weekdays is not good enough.

I can just about allow myself to spend all day on Friday pressing F5 waiting for these highly entertaining tableaux - but i fear for my job if i get caught on a tuesday doing the same stunt

The battle of Lesbos: Exclusive combat pic

Geoff Webber
IT Angle

@james pickett

Its playmobil.

Lego people have knees up at their groin and very flat square fleet.

If you really want to feat you eyes on the complete playmobil range try this for size


My kids had both but i always favoured the playmobil stuff as it was much more lifelike !!

IT - because it would seem that lots of us who have playmobil experience end up here on friday afternoon - when all the rest of the "workers" have gone home

Shell pulls out of Thames Estuary mega-windfarm

Geoff Webber

doomed - were all doomed

before long, probably not in my time, but more than likely in my grandchildren's time (and yes they already exist), society will have reverted to the style portrayed in various historical novels.

Moonfleet, Christmas Carol, any Thomas Hardy book, where people live and work within walking distance of their occupation. Everyone goes to bed when it gets dark. Candles are used for light and meals are cooked on open fires.

Biggest problem is that there are far too many inhabitants of this country (or any other) for that to work.

I live in a small seaside town with 60k of inhabitants. There is insufficient wood for fires locally and certainly not enough "rural" style jobs to support that many people.

3rd world countries strive to join the rest of us in the consumer driven capitalist lifestyle where in fact it is us that will be joining them.

Then who will be the best prepared to survive?

My money is on the Aboriginees and others who live in mud huts.

Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

Geoff Webber

CO2 emissions

Hopefully by the time we reach 2028/29 China, India and the USA etc will have produced so much CO2 that the critter will just bounce off and disappear in to the ether.

so between now and then I'm going to leave the car in the drive with then engine running and turn up the central heating - just to do my bit you understand!

A380 passengers to enjoy 'military-style' urinals

Geoff Webber

@ Mark B

No ............ silly

You just face the other way.

Surely you cant expect squaddies to have to think too hard !!

Congestion Charge offers online tool for ANPR cam dodgers

Geoff Webber

even recognises very old cars

I put in the reg of my dads car which he purchased in 1969 and it came back with the correct details.

The DVLA site says it was last reg'd in 1982 - what a waste of processing power

Geoff Webber
IT Angle


even provides a handy manufacturer / model / colour matching service - just find the ones with the pictures and often enough the plates are there for all to see.

Then use the handy DVLA lookup to check that its got a valid RFL and your sorted.

What could be easier.

IT? - beats all that leg work and you can do it at work

The 'green' car tax grabs that don't add up

Geoff Webber

Weymouth - Flooding in a couple of centuries.

Hmm Interesting, wonder why the author chose Weymouth as his example.

If he is talking about the one in Dorset, where I live, then his timing is way out.

Some years ago the Council raised the harbour walls by 2 -3 feet to prevent flooding in the streets around the harbourside.

On Monday (the day of the gale) the water came within a gnats knacker of overtopping the new walls. The gales coincided with a spring tide.

There was some flooding, due to seawater percolating up through the drains, and some roads were unpassable.

I would suggest that it is not going to be centuries before Weymouth is under water more like decades...!

All hands to the pumps icon as thats what we'll need to do.

PS I live up a hill and will have an exclusive island to look down on the poorer mortals swimming for their lives.

Problem is all the shops and utilities are at the bottom of the hill...... :-(

iPod Nano electrical discharge sparks new battery fear

Geoff Webber

war of the worlds

Didnt HG Wells say something similar as well.

But the martians still came didn't they !

Schools warned of chilling 'Strawberry Meth' menace

Geoff Webber

Oh No

This could be the start of a worrying trend...

Members of the local ploddery doing thing without thinking first - (your) god help us all.

El Reg decimates English language

Geoff Webber

Pronounciation and speling

Shirley as a nation we have 2 deside weather we are going to try to spel correctlee or knot.

To be able to spell correctly reqiures that we also speke or pronownce corectlee.

Even the BBC can't say the word for a businessmans right hand lady proplee.

They prefer to say seckatree witch of course is nonsense.

Geoff Webber
Black Helicopters

@ edward rose

Now if we are going to moan about not repeating yourself - my favourite is the "PIN Number"

What on earth is the N in Pin for if we are going to add the word Number at the end of the phrase.

And yes......... I am often accused of having Asperger's tendancies as I seek confirmation of statements (especially from my boss) when asking me to do something.

He often says one thing and actually means something else.

So his command of the English language is insufficient to pass his thoughts onto another, but then he is Irish !

Black helicopter to whisk me away before he twiggs.

UK men would stay out of bed for 50in plasma telly

Geoff Webber

@anonymous coward

I'd rather shag your girlfriend too.....

Spirit discovers life on Mars

Geoff Webber

what next

Black helicopters !

Join the army, get your ID pinched - MoD laptop goes AWOL

Geoff Webber

Data protection racket

Now correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt the DPA require that data should not be stored for longer than necessaery and also (more importantly) that it should be accurate.

How can many (copied) versions of data that isnt synchronised be kept up to date??

WowWee wheels in Tribot

Geoff Webber


yeah right ...... as if a silly plastic toy on three wheels is going to stop kids coming onto my bedroom. Johnny Wilkinson will send it into orbit for 3 points.

The last thing with 3 wheels that I had fun with was a reliant robin and that was 35 years ago !!!!