* Posts by philbo

255 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Sep 2007


Virgin Media blocks 'wankers' from permissible passwords


Re: If you are using offensive passwords to describe the service

If you use it once, will it break?

My favourite password story comes from the very first network install I was involved with, about 25 years ago. Netware v2, and so wonderfully secure that when the admin changed the supervisor password to "fuckme", it did: it accepted the password change, then wouldn't let him log in again. He ended up nuking the install and starting again from scratch.

Apple files 'Bonk to Gift' near field communication patent application


Re: To paraphrase John Cleese

Doesn't "Bonk to share" have prior use from syphilils etc?

Attention, addicts: LEGO meth lab pays homage to Breaking Bad


Well, if it makes Dacre spontaneously combust, that'll be a result.

They really need to tare their scales, though: nothing on, and they're showing 201.8 (what, kilos???)

Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()


You want techie parodies?

I've got dozens of the buggers...

e.g. "Shut Down the Server" to "Waltzing Matilda"

"Mend my PC" to "Under the Sea"

"No IntToReal" to "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden

"Three-fingered Salute" to "Four-Legged Friend"

..and one for the real old-timers: "The Oldest PC In Town"

..and possibly one of the most fun choruses about the TCP/IP application programmer's interface

Now you can use your phone instead of your wallet at the ATM, too


Re: One more

I was thinking exactly that: the voting machines that posted all their data back to an Access database, so perfectly secure that any noddy techie could change the results.. and no audit to check against.

One hopes that the banks who consider using this technology will do more rigorous testing than the Ohio (& other) electoral boards managed

TSA: Perv scanners now fully banished from US airports

Paris Hilton

Re: I'm reassured

It means that the unattractive majority can go through without turning the stomachs of the unfortunate operators, but the pervs still on duty can get their jollies with the aforementioned "test" button (I wonder whether the (in-the-)raw images get saved when you hit "test", or the outline-with-icon one). No prizes for guessing why the Paris icon...

Cynical, moi?

BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;


Re: Did Simon forget

I'm sure half the people here have a story like this: going back on-site to fix a customer's ID card database, I find that the tape in the tape drive was the one that I put there five years earlier, and the backup on it was the one that I had taken all those years ago.

Nobody had clicked the "make a backup" icon once. Sigh.

Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill


Re: Unit of data

So this chap used up somewhere between a kilodoom and a megadoom?

..and this message is a few picodoom.

Works for me :)

Syrian hacktivists hijack Telegraph's Facebook, Twitter accounts


Re: Good. Finally something that will keep corporations off social networks. :-)


Though it's kind of amusing how many companies want a TwitBook profile, yet leave it up to the 17-year-old work experience student to manage their social media...

Who is Samsung trying to kid? There will NEVER be a 5G network


Re: 5G WHY at All ?

For movies: filth-generation mobile

'WikiLeaks of financial data' prompts worldwide hunt for tax evaders


Re: But has this data

Where's your imagination?

..I'm just imagining a pallet truck loaded with a quarter of a million 3.5" floppies, weighing a bit over four tons

Vodafone gets surprise £2.1bn dividend from Verizon Wireless


Re: Any tax to pay on that?

Looks like I'm not the only person whose first thought was that when I read the article.

Scramjet X-51 finally goes to HYPER SPEED above Pacific


Re: On course for UK - Oz in 30 minutes

>Force is measured in Newtons (N). Mewton-meters is momentum.

er.. Nm=torque (or moment .. so close, I guess)

momentum is kg m/s (i.e. mass * velocity)


'Liberator': Proof that you can't make a working gun in a 3D printer



A "crack team of psychoanalysts"?

..I know Freud was a bit of a cokehead, but I didn't think they went as far as crack teams

Thongs of praise: Slip on Japan's skimpy mobe knickers


No, it needs..

..a shirt and tie.

They are supposed to be *smart* phones, after all.

Not cool, Adobe: Give the Ninite guys a job, not the middle finger

Thumb Up

Ninite is awesome

I'm a developer rather than an admin, too, but for a while now ninite has been my first port of call for any new (or rebuilt) PC. Well, second, after installing Total Commander.

Only complaint with Ninite is they still haven't added TC.

..and looking at the rest of this thread, it's great to see that I'm not alone in hurling verbal abuse when the Flash updater ignores my choices from last time and starts trying to install shit I have neither the need for nor the desire to have, unless I keep telling it not to.

UK.Gov passes Instagram Act: All your pics belong to everyone now


Since they're being so free with intellectual property..

..I'm surprised they didn't name this bill "IP Freely"

(with apologies to Bart)

Climate-cooling effect 'stronger than volcanoes' is looking solid



Does he mean ethanoic (acetic) acid, do you think?

..more normally written CH3COOH (because the H bonds to one of the oxygen atoms, not the carbon), and definitely to be sneezed at in high enough concentrations.

IBM pours $1 BEELLION into flash SSDs


So they think it's not going to be..

..a flash in the pan?


Twitter patents sending messages, promises not to sue everyone


Re: I'm gonna start up my own social network


shitter.com owned by Worldwide Media Inc.. "mostwanteddomains.com". er.. *most* wanted??

..they suggest I make an offer..

I looked up "shittier.com" to see if that had gone (it has), to find whois.net suggested "crapline.com" (available for $400) as an alternative.

St Helena TLD is available, though: shitter.sh ..



There are some aspects I guess I haven't thought through properly.

But it would probably need craptags and shatsigns.


I'm gonna start up my own social network

..call it "shitter"

Like twitter, but even more crap. Do you think they'd sue?

Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!


Re: What Are We Waiting For?

>Why bother? Just send Schwartzenegger up there to push the button, start the alien reactor, and instantly create the breathable atmosphere and rain clouds.

You had me at "just send Schwartzenegger"

I hear the Capricorn One is ready to go

Godzilla wreaks revenge on Pakistani government web sites


Re: Ministry Mayhem

They should change the password to Allah-u-hackbar

Elon Musk's 'Grasshopper' hover rocket scores another test success


Re: Great stuff!

Me, too...

"Glasshopper, you will not be kung fu master until you can catch a fly using chopsticks"

"But Master, I can do this"

"Not without killing the fly"

Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII


Re: Maybe she had to.

Had to?

Strong the Force needed would be.

Mine's the one with the light saber in the pocket

Twenty classic arcade games


Re: Wadworth's 4X ???

..maybe he only had 2/3 of a pint?

Banged-up Brit hacker hacks into his OWN PRISON'S 'MAINFRAME'


Re: @Philbo

@Simon Westerby 1

>" ... IT training rooms in prisons are not the same as IT training rooms in normal companies."

>Yes they are, and neither should allow access to ANY other network... (interwebs included!)

..in an ideal world, you're probably right; in practice, most places I've worked have their IT training rooms on the same network.

@AC 09.28

>When I was at EDS they never had any computers that the inmates used, granted I didn't spend too much

>time on that account as mentioned in my previous post. No CRB check and a whole list of passwords that

>could lock down courts or open prison doors.

My experience of EDS in prisons was uniformly bad: including them showing up at a private prison (not one they were contracted for) and informing the IT staff there that they now "owned" all their PCs; charging surreal costs for support which rarely materialized; and not being entirely honest to the prisons about what their remit was.

..Confict of Interest warning: EDS spent years telling Home Office prisons that they weren't allowed to buy the system I'd written, because they were going to be supplying one to do the same job. If EDS had been half-way ethical (e.g. in admitting that they didn't have a working system, and were utterly inept when it came to writing one), I'd be if not rich, then finanically secure. Life's a bitch, ain't it?


Re: Prison Mainframe?

I've been inside more nicks than the hardest of prisoners.. door control will never be on the same physical network as the PCs; they used to have a proper mainframe-based system called LIDS which couldn't be on the same physical network as the rest of the prison IT (given that it ran on VT-100 sort of terminals). Then you'd have the 4x4 Access-based prisoner records system (the pet project of a PCO from HMP Preston that got used so widely it became a de facto standard)

But that all changed when EDS took control of the Home Office, fucked up the system they were supposed to be delivering, and from the sound of it managed to get prison training PCs on the same network as their IT systems - IMHO the people who should be disciplined in this are not the course trainers, but whoever set up a training room for inmates that actually hooks up to the same network as the rest of the prison IT... some numpty at EDS, no doubt, not realizing that IT training rooms in prisons are not the same as IT training rooms in normal companies.

Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62


Re: pretty stupid robots eh

>IIRC, his last comment as the Hitch-Hikers offices collapse around him after being destroyed by a

>neutron-ram is "What a depressingly stupid robot"

"What a depressingly stupid machine"


...mine's the one with the 6-cassette recording of the radio series in the pocket. And the full H2G2 scripts that I was given as a birthday present a couple of years ago, but still haven't read completely (yet).


Re: pretty stupid robots eh

Holy Photons! What was that?!

A Frogstar Robot Class D. I should imagine it’s just picked up the reports from the first three and has come to get you.


Re: Siege Robots may need redesign

>mini skirt

Robot Whores?

Jimmy Wales: 'I'm Wikipedia's monarch'


Missed the apostrophe

Should be 'king Jimmy Wales

Meet the stealthiest UK startup's app Swiftkey - and its psychic* keyboard


It gives the perfect excuse

..for all those malapropisms and weird interpolations of something that is obviously the wrong word.

People blaming predictive text (e.g. for my wife becoming "Heavier" in texts) can't get away with some things that show they just can't spell, but now completely the wrong word can happily be blamed on the soffits.

Python-lovers sling 'death threats' at UK ISP in trademark row


Re: I guess they didn't expect..

Surprise! That is one of our main weapons.

Surprise, and denial of service attacks.

(..though if it's Catholic, surely that should be "denial of mass")


I guess they didn't expect..

..the Spanish Inquisition

$195 BEEELLION asteroid approaching Earth



They have small "firefly" probes at the moment, larger "dragonfly" ones to come...

I'm guessing they'll have a workable space mining operation when they get as far as "dung beetle"

Oracle ponies up $2.1bn for Acme Packet to bully its way into unified comms


Acme Packet??

Why do I see Oracle as some Wile E Coyote-like character about to get splatted by its own attempt to stop the Road Runner?

Tick-tock, TalkTalk: Users face fourth day of titsup broadband


Re: Only satisfied customer?

No, not the only one. I'm another who (after the initial setup hassle which turned out to be Pipex at fault, not Talktalk) has had very good service from Talktalk (far fewer problems than my neighbours have had with BT).

What I like most about them is that they don't treat their long-standing customers as cash cows to be milked: they are the only company I have been with for many years who have offered money off and bonuses for staying loyal - most depend on customer inertia and put prices up as a reward for loyalty.

Bendy screens are the future, screams maker of bendy screens


Re: Remember...

:-) So it's not just me that remembers Chelmsford 123..

..but it has (recently) been released on DVD:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Chelmsford-123-The-Complete-Series/dp/B004U603WA

Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

Black Helicopters

It was probably a cover

..as John McAfee's agents stole in and installed invisible keyloggers on all the Surface tabs, and his camouflaged trojans wouldn't run on Apple kit.

Cameron defends U-turn on web filth ban, leaves filtering to parents


Re: Sidebar of shame

The one irony of the Fail's campaign to remove porn by default is that any self-respecting porn filter would deny access to mail.co.uk as one of the biggest purveyors of borderline-dodgy pix on the net.

Much as I hate the idea of these kinds of controls (for various different reasons), the thought that they might cause traffic hitting Dacre's Den of Iniquity to vanish overnight almost makes them worthwhile. Almost.

Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS


Re: Snatch Pics


I suppose things might have been different had he snatched snaps some snitch snapped of snatches.


Hnnh hnnh hnnh

He said "snatch"

fnaar fnaar

Judge: There'll be no US Samsung ban, BUT no new trial with Apple either


Re: Hello fanboy, repeat after me

That raps really rather well.. well, for the first three lines (even if you kind of have to say "marketing" with two syllables):

Hello, fanboy, repeat after me

There is no such thing as a "retina" screen

It is useless marketing-speak, it means nothing

..as for "beyond retina".. optical nerve?

Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them


Re: I can still remember Compaq fucking it up

..me, too: I was a huge AltaVista fan when it came out, and remember with some sadness it changing from the simple search engine to a "portal" that in the days of dial-up took minutes to load.. causing a jump to the wonderfully simple "just a search box" and the word "google"

Back then, though, you'd try out all the different engines as they'd be returning different results, and meta-search engines had some real utility; nowadays, they're pretty much all in google, it's more a question of ranking.

A tweet too far: UK contempt law reform push begins


Re: Oh FFS

>Surely this is the problem with todays society

Well, it's *a* problem with today's society. I think there might be others.


Re: Oh FFS

It's a bit more complicated than that - ISTM that the problem we're seeing now is exemplified by the tweeting twit, Sally Bercow: things that are mentioned as one might down the pub with your mates - possibly after a drink or two - with no thought about exactly what you're saying and to whom.. these things can be picked up and passed on by thousands (though I do feel more than a bit exasperated by hearing that Ms Bercow has tens of thousands of people hanging on her every tweet - they can't all be journalists waiting for The Speaker's Wife to make (yet) another faux pas).

You wouldn't "go down to the street corner and hand out notices saying your neighbour is a pedo with no proof", but in an unguarded moment, you might very easily make a joke about him that someone else might take as such and a rumour is born.. sites like twitter combined with smartphones which mean you can text your mate's "joke" that was so very funny down the pub after a few pints... I think the law does need to be updated to reflect this state, and let's face it there aren't enough jail places in the universe to lock up everyone who says something dodgy when under the influence.

'Boson' Higgs: Yes, CERN has seen the coming of the God particle


I guess the Battle Hymn needs rewriting, then...

CERN eyes have seen the coming of the "God particle" Higgs

In the Large Hadron Collider, the world's biggest physics gig

But still I'm not convinced why the fuck I should give a fig

If they've found one more boson

Apple granted patent for microphone silhouette


Re: Barmy

Ah.. got it - as it is patently a design, it gets a design patent. Though I have also registered from what you wrote on theregister that what the Americans call a design patent, we would call a registered design, by design, presumably. Thank you for being so pat[i]ent.