Posts by BeverageBeast

We can bend the laws of physics for your super-yacht, but we can't break them

Overinflated sense of self importance

Back in my helpdesk days, I had an "important" customer with a completely F'd laptop. We went above and beyond for him, got a replacement laptop spun up in record time and had a priority courier pick it up to drive straight to the customer for same day delivery. When I kindly informed him that a new laptop would be with him in just a few hours, he was furious! "What am I supposed to do for the next few hours!? Do you know who I am!? What are you going to do to make this right!?" After much pointless discussion I ended up saying to him something to the effect of "I don't know what you expect me to do, it takes time for an object to travel through physical space."

He asked to speak to my manager.

The wastepaper basket is on the other side of the office – that must be why they put all these slots in the computer

oh crumbs!

Had a mysteriously dead PC come back from a site for repair, user had reported the smell of burning before it died. Opened the case up and it looked like someone had managed to cram an entire packets worth of digestive biscuits (broken down into crumbs) inside somehow. Seemed like the pile of crumbs had been there some time as it had re-hardened and congealed into some kind of mass that was impossible to shake off. Users do the weirdest things.

Cats: Not a fan favourite when the critters are draped around an office packed with tech

The fluff can be profitable

Made a decent bit of money on the side "fixing" overheating games consoles in the late 2000s. Most of the time I'd just vacuum the fluff and pet hair out of the vents and they'd miraculously come back to life, would pocket some decent cash for five minutes work. Very occasionally had to also throw a PS3s innards into the oven for a few minutes to revive it. Thankful for extremely fluffy pets overheating hardware.

When even a power-cycle fandango cannot save your Windows desktop

Always amused me doing desktop support when you asked the user to press the power button and they replied "Do you mean on the computer or the box under the desk?"