* Posts by Ex Pat

21 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Sep 2007

YouTube biker clocked at 189mph

Ex Pat

Linux is to blame

Nah, he's actually doing about 35mph. The reason the speedo says 189 is that it is running Linux and there is a bug in the billion line bloated software app that measures the speed. The bug got introduced because the author also decided to make the program calculate how long it takes a cup of tea to brew and he miscalculated somewhere.

Don't worry, I hear that my 12 year old neighbour is working on a patch that he will submit next week when he has finished his woodwork project. You'll be able to download the patch from www.nogirlfriend.com

Brit violinist does a Radiohead

Ex Pat

Bloodhound Gang

Reminds me of the album "Hooray for Boobies" by the Bloodhound Gang...

Half of computer users are Wi-Fi thieves

Ex Pat
Paris Hilton


I have nothing to say, I just wanted to see the Paris Hilton icon.

p.s. she is annoying.

Fedora 8 spins into action

Ex Pat
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Oh Dear

People obviously have far too much time on their hands. Linux sucks.

Sick Brit yobs graffiti dog

Ex Pat

@ stalker

Love your dog? Oh dear, the sad gits seem to have arrived. I would not be surprised if you put your tongue in it's mouth in search of reciprocal love.

Ex Pat

Who cares?

So who cares exactly? If the owner was pathetic enough to own a dog in the first place then they should be thankful for the improvement made to the ugly mutt by these great kids.

I mean really, dog owners are just so lame. It is only a shame that these great kids did not doodle all over the owner as well.

Carmack's X-Prize rocket explodes on pad

Ex Pat
Gates Halo

@ stizzleswick

Er, actually, yes I would rather run a lunar lander on Windows. In fact, I'd rather run *over* Linux than run it. You could not trust it to run a bath let alone an entire computer system.

Fix bugs on your own terms you say? That involves joining the mailing-list of the spotty self-rubbing teen-freak who wrote the software and begging him to fix it with some dodgy patch which requires you to then recompile everything six million times only to realise that he forgot to tell you to add "-a" to the compile script and that now he is too busy squeezing his spots to help you therefore you are on your own.

A no-brainer really.

Ex Pat

Go read the page for full news

If you read the website of the team they state that they traced the problem back to a software bug. Apparently, due to the use of Linux, a bug was found in a component that some spotty teenager had written in his bedroom whilst stroking himself over pictures of Linus and penguins. The inclusion by the Linux distro maker of this component meant that it got into the Linux install in the rockets onboard computer.

This is another good example of why not to use Linux.

Spanish regulators in mobile price fix probe

Ex Pat

@John Stag

You can hardly call living in The Canary Islands or in Marbella to be living in Spain. Without a doubt you live/work/social with only Brits.

Google updates desktop for Linux

Ex Pat

Linux sminux

Why bother upgrading the software in the first place? Linux sucks. It should be cast into a black hole along with all those spotty, sweaty, fat, nerdy linux freaks who are going to post here saying things like "what do you think the internet runs on?". God, they are so boring.

Airbus delivers first A380

Ex Pat
Thumb Up


Nor has El Reg made much light of the fact that nearly all of the initial delays to the project were caused because they were designing the plane using computer running Linux. As soon as they reverted back to a Spectrum 128, the problems were resolved. The IT manager for Airbus was quoted as saying "it comes down to usability. Once we went Spectrum we were able to use an interface which was much more friendly than that of Linux. And we could save money by sacking half of the speccy nerds we had to employ just to support it in the first place."

Vanessa Hudgens net smut: your children are at risk

Ex Pat

Crap in bed

I've had Vanessa Hudgens, she was rubbish.

Unholy trinity of flaws put Google users at risk

Ex Pat


you are a really boring person. stuck reading Linux User in the basement with Liam the gay lemming. At least we now know who does the rubbing while he is turning the pages.

Ex Pat

@Liam the gay lemming

Er, less dim? Java, smava. Who cares if they are different, they still are based on the same crappy foundation and all suck regardless.

Just because linux powers a few web servers does not make it automatically a good product. iTunes unfortunately powers my the syncing of my iPod but it still sucks as a product.

If you spent more time in the real world instead of in dingy server rooms reading Linux User whilst rubbing yourself you might be a bit more aware of real worlds facts, namely that Java, Javascript and linux all suck.

Ex Pat

crappy java

well, clearly it is about time to dump javascript because it is so rubbish. it is a dreadful thing that is slow, unreliable and cumbersome. and to make it worse, Sun's JVM is bloated and slows the machine down even further.

i am sure that a few java programmers (they probably also like ridiculous linux) will be offended by this post but to them i say, see you next tuesday.

Ex Pat


JS = Javascript. Or does it mean jack-shit?

SCO faces financial crunch after Unix defeat

Ex Pat


About time to. Maybe McBride will have to sell ice creams in a van at the seaside in order to pay his legal bills.

PC superstore unhinged by Linux

Ex Pat

@Stephen Gray

Erm, Windows Vista, Internet Explorer 7 and my ADSL connection. That is what allows me to surf the web. So, instead of being a complete tosser, why don't you go bore someone else with your Linux tripe. See you next tuesday.

Ex Pat


Time for a snooze I think. All the Linux geeks are posting here and putting me to sleep. Why are they so anal about crappy Linux? Who really cares whether they use it or not?

A nice example is the person (anonymous of course, who would want to put their name on a post supporting Linux?) who wrote "I'd reverse the analogy myself". My goodness man, go get a girlfriend and drink some beer.

By the way, Linux is utter utter rubbish and is for fat sweaty bearded nerds with glasses like Clark Kent.

Czech falls off motorbike, wakes up with British accent

Ex Pat

Better than a Scots accent

Well, at least he did not wake up and find he had a Scottish accent, he'd probably would have topped himself.

Och ay way haggis.

Connoisseurs go mad for £1,000 ham

Ex Pat

To whoever wrote the post "Not that outrageous..."

What, are you stupid? Since when did a regular leg cost 500 quid? Clearly only in the crappy resorts that you go to. They must see you walking down the street in your vest and shorts with sweat all over your fat belly and decide to charge you 5 times the normal price.

I can tell you now, a normal ham of good quality in a normal supermarket costs less than €100. I know that because I live in Madrid and I buy one every month. The only people who pay 500 quid are the sweaty balding fat tourists in Torremolinos.