Posts by UCAP

Windows App forgets how to log in with first security update of the year

Microsoft is improving

Microsoft has managed to get 2 whole weeks into the new year before screwing up an update - is this some form of record?

AI's $3T infrastructure binge continues despite lack of clear profits

I'm the meantime, popcorn futures looks like a good investment

Techie turned the tables on office bullies with remote access rumble

Happy New Year ...

... and may your screw-ups be ever covered up.

Claude is his copilot: Rust veteran designs new Rue programming language with help from AI bot

Re: Claude is along for the ride as copilot

Right turn, Claude

European Space Agency hit again as cybercrims claim 200 GB data up for sale

I've worked a lot with ESA over the last 3 (nearly 4) decades of my career, and one thing I can say with certainty is that they have the mindset of an open organisation that freely shares information. Unfortunately, this also means that they have little understanding of security!

BOFH: The Christmas spirit has run dry – time to show some chiller instinct

Last BOFH for the year - roll on next year

Sydney Uni data goes walkabout after criminals raid code repo

Worse, it was being used as test data. Why did they not create a test data set using made up values with no relation to real people?

US freezes $42B trade pact with UK over digital tax row

he's ended no better off than he would have been had he invested daddy's money in a tracker fund and simply sat on it

Actually, he would have been even richer if he had kept his money in a tracker fund while sitting on his hands twiddling his thumbs. The added bonus is that he would have far fewer skeletons i the closet that he's terrified are about to come out.

Alternatively Trump's supporters may surprise us all, and not fall into vicious infighting after he's left the scene, and give us some kind of viable successor.

Trump does not allow viable successors to survive since they are all seen as threats to his continued control of GOP. Look at Vance as an example.

Starlink claims Chinese launch came within 200 meters of broadband satellite

Re: One by one... watch them fall... like domi-dominoes - domi-dominoes!

I doubt either one of them would be easily controllable after smacking at potentially 18kMPH or more depending on the vectors

I doubt either one of them would be more than an expanding cloud of high-velocity debris.

Hyperscalers fuel $112B server spending spree in Q3

$112 billion???

This is all going to end in tears.

Block all AI browsers for the foreseeable future: Gartner

Re: Well I'm shocked...

The Ghost of Christmas Future would like a quite word with you ...

Re: Well I'm shocked...

Gartner actually said something useful.

If you have an infinite number of monkeys working for an infinite length of time, sooner or later they will produce a useful recommendation from Gartner.

Latest Windows 11 updates may break the OS's most basic bits

Re: WTF?

Until the affected businesses united and complain ...

And when the businesses unite and complain, MS will do absolutely nothing about it. Remember, Microsoft knows what's good for you and will ran it down your throat until you choke!

Web dev's crawler took down major online bookstore by buying too many books

Was it Andromeda?

Sounds like Jim came very close to booking a trip to the job center.

UK digital ID plan gets a price tag at last – £1.8B

Politicians are so keen to spend money ...

... forgetting that it is you & I who ultimately are paying for it.

Microsoft's fix for slow File Explorer: load it before you need it

Re: ALINT (At Least It's Not Teams)

There is absolutely no coherent design or rhyme or reason to any of it

That pretty much sums up anything hacked together by Microsoft

Russia’s first autonomous humanoid robot staggers and falls on debut

It had probably hit the vodka to calm pre-demo nerves.

FBI prevails over convicted fraudster in $345M destroyed Bitcoin dispute

Re: At a time when so much news is negative

Definitely 7 cylinders short of a V8.

‘ERP down for emergency maintenance’ was code for ‘You deleted what?’

Re: Ohnosecond

It's also the smallest measurable unit of time.

Frustrated consultant 'went full Hulk' and started smashing hardware

Re: I'm Not THAT Guy!

Or you find yourself in front of the Gates of Hell and Old Nick turns around and says "Can you install Windows ME on these PCs ..."

Larry Ellison's latest craze: Vectorizing all the customers

Re: My kettle uses that much!

My kettle pulls a lot more that 1.2 kW.

But I'll join you in that cuppa.

UK government's £45B AI savings pitch built on broad-brush guesswork, MPs told

AI

A perfect solution for all of those problems that don't actually exist.

BOFH: Recover a database from five years ago? It's as easy as flicking a switch

Re: 5 year old database?

OMG, I remember watching Space 1999 when it was first broadcast and I was a young teenager. Happy days! I know which episode was being referred to.

Techie found an error message so rude the CEO of IBM apologized for it

Re: aaaaarrrgh

Dammit - you owe me a new keyboard

UK government says digital ID won't be compulsory – honest

Still too many words: "Palantir will decide to screw it up"

Re: Breathing

... but it helps to keep the heart beating.

New Zealand’s Institute of IT Professionals collapses

Re: Wait, What?

Ahhh ... but we are only in Act 1 of that play, wait for the final denouement in Act 3.

Meta will listen into AI conversations to personalize ads

Re: “There’s no opt out”

Simple way - don't use Meta.

Hold on ...

WhatsApp is supposed to be end-to-end encrypted; how can Meta listen in to those conversations unless they have established a back door into the system?

Windows 95 was too fat to install itself so needed help from the slimmer 3.1

Re: Good times!

Clippy was a user experience. No-one said that it had to a good user experience.

Firewall upgrade linked to three deaths after Australian telco cut off emergency calls

Re: Is it too soon...

This "humour" is in very bad taste given that people probably died as a direct consequence of this incident.

After deleting a web server, I started checking what I typed before hitting 'Enter'

Wilma ...

... where's Fred?

‘IT manager’ needed tech support because they had never heard of a command line

Managers do have souls - sucked out from from their minions (thinking Delores from "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" here).

Re: I've seen that type of manager before

They know they have been promoted above their abilities ...

Often referred to as "Being Promoted to Their Level of Incompetence".

BOFH: These office thefts really take the biscuit

Re: MAYBE THERE NEVER WERE ANY BISCUITS!!!

He did not say the tea bags were being used to make tea! Most likely they were being used to repair potholes in the road outside.

(I've had factory tea once - never again <shudder>).

VMware's in court again. Customer relationships rarely go this wrong

Popcorn futures are looking like a good investment right now

Techie ended vendor/client blame game by treating managers like toddlers

Re: Treating managers as toddlers

I originally read the heading as "Training managers as toddlers". It made perfect sense to me given the state of some manglement.

I've seen this so many times - everyone throwing blame at everyone else without first checking that you are standing on firm ground. It never ends well for someone.

Supermarket giant Tesco sues VMware, warns lack of support could disrupt food supply

This is beginning to sound a bit cheesy.

Re: [..] why Broadcom isn't automatically forced to honour the existing VMware contracts

There is a UK equivalent to US class actions (its got an odd name that I cannot remember), but it is a lot harder to get a case turned into one, and I suspect that Tesco won't qualify at the best of times.

To be clear, IANAL.

Techie fooled a panicked daemon and manipulated time itself to get servers in sync

Our current Mondeo has never given us a problem since we brought it 7 years ago. We often refer to it as the "Ford Perfect".

DOGE accused of duplicating critical Social Security database on unsecured cloud

Re: Payback when the fascists go under

Vance is just as mendacious and rapacious, but doesn't have a brain that is only firing on half its cylinders.

There. fixed it for you.

Re: Is this the right prefix?

Personally, I think the correct prefix is "a**hole"

Trump threatens extra tariffs, tech export bans, for any nation that dares to regulate Big Tech

Re: The bloke's a twat

And a convicted sexual offender and fraudster.

BOFH: HR plays checkers, IT plays 5D chess

Re: he's not enough of an idiot to wander too close to a full-height window that opens out ...

Intelligent life has to start from somewhere?

Basic projector repair job turns into armed encounter at secret bunker

Re: Fun at the DTI

Official Secrets Act is probably a good starting point. You'd be surprised what they can classify as "secret".