Posts by Coastal cutie

Fed up with slammed servers, IT replaced iTunes backups with a cow of a file

Re: That's the way to do it

Definitely the cream of the crop

US Air Force AI drone 'killed operator, attacked comms towers in simulation'

Re: They're takin arr jerbs

My late Uncle, who arrived in France at about D-Day +5 had a variation on that. "We didn't worry about British artillery because they hit the target. We didn't worry about French artillery because they couldn't hit anything. When the American guns started up, we ran like hell for cover."

Airline puts international passengers on the scales pre-flight

Southampton Airport (Hampshire UK) has one - that's a small regional airport so I'd imagine some of the bigger ones have them too.

BOFH: Get me a new data file or your manager finds out exactly what you think of him

Re: Useful idiot?

Perhaps he keeps him on for entertainment value?

Up to £895M up for grabs in UK Emergency Services procurement

I reckon I've got more chance of seeing a unicorn galloping down the beach than I have of seeing this delivered

Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it

Re: Static

Yep had a colleague in my banking days who could do the self same thing to the mainframe terminals

BOFH: We send a user to visit Kelvin – Keeper of the Batteries

Re: God (i.e. the CEO)

Perhaps they already have - the BOFH is very knowledgeable about staff movements.....

Twitter scores legal hat trick with three cases filed against it in one day

The performance continues

Time for a popcorn and beer refill

Capita: Cyber-attack broke some of our IT systems

Agreed - and then when you do, one of the crappy ones goes and buys the sensible one you chose and drags it down into their mire

Amazon to shutter Digital Photography Review

Re: Not who they want to help.

Agreed - I generally avoid Amazon like the plague but was faced with having to use them when I couldn't find what I wanted anywhere else. It's about 5 years since I last used it and the deterioration in usability is astonishing, I've never had to wade through so much irrelevant c*** to get to what I actually need on any other site.

Microsoft breaks geolocation, locking users out of Azure and M365

I've lost count - are we down to M350 yet?

Duelling techies debugged printer by testing the strength of electric shocks

Re: Or a really old version...

The UK version was how many Sloanes - one to call the electrician and one to mix the G&Ts

Most Londoners would quit before they give up working from home

They are walking - into new jobs. Several of my neighbours worked for employers who insisted on a full return to office, no convincing reasons why and despite how well things had worked. They have all voted with their feet and are now in jobs that require little (one, no) attendance in the office - the companies they used to work for have been unable to recruit replacements and those colleagues left are actively looking to go as well. As soon as the agency tells the candidate it's full time office, they aren't interested. The few days a month I do have in the office are by far the least productive and I do not enjoy one little bit engaging with the smelly cesspit that is London public transport.

What's up with IT, Doc? Rabbit hole reveals cause of outage

Someone I used to work with had a Persian cat who did a similar trick with the Christmas tree lights. There was a flash, bang, cat thrown across the room and off went everything connected to that circuit. The cat survived, but ended up with every hair stood on end including the tail - all you could see was 2 staring eyes looking our from a pom-pom with a bottle brush tail

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

BOFH on tour?

"And so while the Director may have the IQ of a remedial houseplant" I think the BOFH may have been moonlighting at my company....

Take the morning off because Outlook has already

Re: funnier than others

There's a Caribbean version too - Luggage In Another Terminal

BOFH and the case of the Zoom call that never was

Re: One Of The Best BOFHs Ever

Ah but what a body...

New IT boss decided to 'audit everything you guys are doing wrong'. Which went wrong

I suspect he's now overall head of HR for Elon Musk's companies

IBM top brass accused again of using mainframes to prop up Watson, cloud sales

I'm gonna need a bigger bucket of popcorn

Microsoft to move some Teams features to more costly 'Premium' edition

Re: But what about fixing what people want?

I'm beginning to think I may be the only commentator who has a company installation of Teams that actually works without any issues. We had problems at the outset but these were traced to firewalls and secure access - once those were dealt with, it's run smoothly. Audio and video are good, dropped calls are pretty much non-existent now and the overall experience is better than any Zoom calls I've endured or worse still Webex. Sitting back and waiting for the downvotes...…...

Meet the merry pranksters who keep the workplace interesting, if not productive

Re: Going BOFH on a spammer.

Have as many beers or beverage of choice as you can muster - that is BOFH levels of inventiveness and I salute you

Bahamian rap: Crypto villain Sam Bankman-Fried arrested

"He had become well known in Washington DC as a political donor, mostly to Democratic politicians or groups, supposedly supporting pandemic prevention and improved crypto regulation." https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-63953096 Oh the irony...……...

BOFH: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

Re: Stoned Badger

I've worked with some support teams like that...…...

Twitter CISO flies the coop

Why anyone would stay at Twitter knowing how Musk treats people is a mystery to me (see the Elon Musk Show on BBC iPlayer for some examples) - though hopefully two of them are the local BOFH and PFY cooking up a suitably horrible scheme before they too jump ship.

University of Edinburgh staff paid late due to Oracle ERP troubles

Re: Another ERP Clusterfuck

That would require organisational abilities on a par with the ability to herd a body of cats roughly the size of the annual Serengeti migrations and with a serious attitude problem in the same direction.

Upvote and beer (or beverage of choice) for the wonderful description of a fan episode

Elon Musk reportedly outlines horrible Twitter layoff process

A rival for the IBM board

Well, someone seems to have decided that IBM should have some competition in the awards for A**hole of the Year and Biggest Breaker of Employment Law

BOFH: I know of a small biz that could deliver nothing for a fraction of the cost

Re: BOFH, that old softie...

I find that a wise approach, whatever software is used to create the document

A very elegant little hustle

IBM withholds healthcare subsidies from some retirees

Just when you thought IBM couldn't sink any lower

Hong Kong hopes to trawl the world for tech talent to build IT city

Taking up this offer would put the biggest security red flag on your CV this side of being Putin's IT manager

India's IT services sector wants workers back in offices – but not all the new hires

Mess people around in the hiring process, they walk to a job elsewhere and tell others not to bother with you; mess them about when they work for you, they vote with their feet. Hardly rocket science that you then end up with a hiring and retention problem.

Japanese sushi chain boss resigns amid accusation of improper data access

Did someone maki him do it - I'll get my coat.....

You've heard of the cost-of-living crisis, now get ready for the cost-of-working crisis

Re: Email remains the most used communication method for work

When the gas bill does go up, it will still be way cheaper than the rip off costs of train travel

BOFH and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

Vintage BOFH

UK's largest water company investigates datacenters' use as drought hits

I'd love to but living by the sea, any items dried outside come in like cardboard, on account of the amount of salt on the breeze

Mouse hiding in cable tray cheesed off its bemused user

Re: "Out of Cheese" Error

He was a notoriously grumpy individual who hated cats with a passion at the best of times

Re: "Out of Cheese" Error

On one of my policing gigs, visited a station that had a stables attached, complete with cat to control the inevitable mice. The cat got banned from one office after he threw a furball up on one of the Sergeants - the consequence of that was the mice promptly invaded it and caused absolute havoc with everything from cables to the occupants' lunches. After many cables had been replaced and users freaked out, the Sergeant was told to swallow his pride and let the cat back in - it solved the problem, though there was further angst when one furry corpse was concealed under a radiator in mid-winter.

Mozilla finds 18 of 25 popular reproductive health apps share your data

Re: My advise to women

I'd say that quite a lot of your advice could usefully be followed by any phone user, regardless of sex

Our software is perfect. If something has gone wrong, it must be YOUR fault

Re: It’s your TVs fault, sir

Freeview are useless - any conversation with them always starts with a 15 minute argument about what transmitter I'm on because their postcode records are wrong for half of West Sussex. Then even if anything turns up purporting to be a fix, it arrives two days after the problem has either sorted itself or been sorted by random button pushing/change in weather conditions/god only knows what it's done

BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

"I for one can't wait," the PFY says. "We'll finally get the chance to work closely with people and pool our resources to share the costs of any new equipment we might need."

Why did my mind instantly jump to the delicious irony of a department paying for the new surveillance equipment the BOFH and PFY will be using to upgrade their capability, based on their increased access in this new co-working heaven (hell)

Russian anti-satellite test added to a 'pressing threat to security' in space

Life imitating art

Legend (Channel 41 Freeview) are currently re-running the series UFO (1970). The subject of last night's episode "Conflict" - SHADO lobbying for space junk to be cleaned up so it didn't hit things or provide cover for malevolent activities.

Google sues Sonos yet again, claiming it stole IP and infringed patents

Re: I hope Google crushes them

This is like the Wagatha or Hamilton-Al Fayed libel cases - you're sorry that one side has to win

IBM board probes claims of fudged sales figures that led to big bonuses for execs

Here we go again

Is there anything that IBM won't obfuscate, manipulate or just darn lie about?

Google said to be taking steps to keep political campaign emails out of Gmail spam bin

Re: Seen this poo before

Fortunately in the UK, you can opt out of the list that is sold to marketing companies and anyone else with the dosh

BOFH: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

Re: And again

Knowing how the BOFH's mind works, I suspect there is a very cunning and very evil plan underlying this, probably involving amongst other things, emails thought to be deleted and footage (with audio) from carefully placed cameras in the HR offices. All the better to capture naughty goings on by HR staff, exploiting their power to fire and hire.

Cloudflare explains how it managed to break the internet

"One can imagine the panic at Cloudflare towers, although we cannot imagine a controlled process that resulted in a scenario where "network engineers walked over each other's changes."

Umm, left hand, right hand, have you been introduced? And have you been taught how to tell your derriere from your elbow?

Wi-Fi hotspots and Windows on Arm broken by Microsoft's latest patches

Borked themselves?

Judging by the state of Office 365 today, Microsoft appear to have managed to break their own stuff as well as everyone elses

AI's most convincing conversations are not what they seem

Between the article and the comments, I need to go and lie down in a dark room with an icepack on my head

BOFH: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

So beautifully played by the BOFH - and now the HR bod will be petrified about what else there may be recorded about them.