* Posts by Coastal cutie

174 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Jun 2020

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BOFH: The new Boss, Aiman, is suspiciously good – for now

Coastal cutie

Give it time, Aiman has only been there a few days......

BOFH: I get locked out, but I get in again

Coastal cutie

Skullduggery of the highest order - BOFH I salute you

Anthropic unlocks Claude 3, claims it's better than ChatGPT and Gemini

Coastal cutie

"exhibits near-human levels of comprehension and fluency on complex tasks" Is that near-human pre or post 7 pints in the pub on a Friday night?

BOFH: In the event of a conference, the ninja clause always applies

Coastal cutie

I agree with you on the bacon fat, much better than butter in this context - however I have to disagree on the sauce, no bacon sandwich/butty is complete without ketchup (Heinz, not designer or cheap crap)

Coastal cutie

Whatever you're making with that, a bacon butty it ain't

Infosys enjoyed a boom in UK government invoices in 2023

Coastal cutie

Re: Ethics & Conflict of Interest Training

Correct - and a source of huge frustration to those working in the public sector

Return to Office mandates boost company profits? Nope

Coastal cutie

Exactly - wfh proves that good indeed often better work can be produced without the constant fussing and interfering of middle manglement, wedded to interfering in everything to justify their continued employment

'Exemplar' digital hospitals trust hit by multiple tech-related traumas

Coastal cutie

You're never going to get anywhere when even within the same hospital, wards and clinics are allowed to follow widely diverging processes around how information is stored. My aunt was in hospital last year - it regularly took staff 10 or more minutes to find relevant information as they didn't know where to look for it - because the ward they normally worked on filed or recorded things differently across both paper and the hospital IT systems. Even the simple process of booking a porter to get her to a previously arranged outpatient clinic appointment had 5 different flavours - after she missed one because the "proper process" for her ward wasn't followed and thus the request wasn't sent to the porters, my cousin and I started taking her down to them ourselves.

BOFH: Nice air conditioning system. Would be a shame if anything happened to it

Coastal cutie
Thumb Up

Classic start to 2024

Motorola loses appeal to kill price cap on UK Airwave emergency services contract

Coastal cutie

It's not fair

"But, but...... we wined and dined all those people, we paid a fortune for consultants, we hired expensive lawyers and still we can't do as we please.... Waaaaah, it's not fair!"

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus

Coastal cutie

Fiendishly brilliant

BOFH: Monitor mount moans end in Beancounter beatdown

Coastal cutie

Oh what a gloriously tangled web by the BOFH and PFY - and still the beancounters never learn

Down and out: Barclays Bank takes unplanned digital detox, customers not invited

Coastal cutie

I wish it was enough to get it to stop - been in my house 5 years, still returning banking mail for the previous occupant including cards (I can tell it's banking by searching the return address online) and the banks concerned (Barclays and Lloyds I'm looking at you) don't shut down the accounts, claim they can't and keep sending. I've even told them to look at the Companies House website as she's a director and so it's publicly available.

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

Coastal cutie

Re: I dunno

Of course they don't - they're cats

Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite

Coastal cutie

I once got stuck on a train where one of my fellow passengers had that as the ring tone. Unfortunately, despite her desperate rummagings, the phone had lodged itself into a unreachable corner of her bag and whoever was ringing did not have the brains to leave a voicemail, just kept on redialling. We finally crawled into Clapham Junction where she managed to shove her way off before someone found enough room to do her a serious mischief (the train was overcrowded to Tokyo levels due to signal failures), as the entire carriage had endured over 20 minutes of this.

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Coastal cutie

A classic episode

Thank heavens I had put my tea down before I spilt it all over the keyboard laughing out loud - but was the desk anywhere near a window......

Sysadmins are being left out of AI implementation

Coastal cutie
Pint

Re: IMHO...

Upvote and beverage of choice for the HHGTTG reference

£214m effort to modernize SAP ERP in UK govt systems marked Code Red

Coastal cutie

Is there anything IT related that HMRC are involved in that is actually on track to deliver?

Thames Water to datacenters: Cut water use or we will

Coastal cutie
FAIL

Usual rip off

Because it's so much easier to bill users to make more money than it is to pay out to fix the leaks wasting far more water

Gen Z and Millennials don't know what their colleagues are talking about half the time

Coastal cutie

Re: COP/EOD

Close of play - same as close of business

Fed up with slammed servers, IT replaced iTunes backups with a cow of a file

Coastal cutie

Re: That's the way to do it

Definitely the cream of the crop

US Air Force AI drone 'killed operator, attacked comms towers in simulation'

Coastal cutie

Re: They're takin arr jerbs

My late Uncle, who arrived in France at about D-Day +5 had a variation on that. "We didn't worry about British artillery because they hit the target. We didn't worry about French artillery because they couldn't hit anything. When the American guns started up, we ran like hell for cover."

Airline puts international passengers on the scales pre-flight

Coastal cutie

Southampton Airport (Hampshire UK) has one - that's a small regional airport so I'd imagine some of the bigger ones have them too.

BOFH: Get me a new data file or your manager finds out exactly what you think of him

Coastal cutie

Re: Useful idiot?

Perhaps he keeps him on for entertainment value?

Up to £895M up for grabs in UK Emergency Services procurement

Coastal cutie

I reckon I've got more chance of seeing a unicorn galloping down the beach than I have of seeing this delivered

Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it

Coastal cutie

Re: Static

Yep had a colleague in my banking days who could do the self same thing to the mainframe terminals

BOFH: We send a user to visit Kelvin – Keeper of the Batteries

Coastal cutie

Re: God (i.e. the CEO)

Perhaps they already have - the BOFH is very knowledgeable about staff movements.....

Twitter scores legal hat trick with three cases filed against it in one day

Coastal cutie

The performance continues

Time for a popcorn and beer refill

Capita: Cyber-attack broke some of our IT systems

Coastal cutie

Agreed - and then when you do, one of the crappy ones goes and buys the sensible one you chose and drags it down into their mire

Amazon to shutter Digital Photography Review

Coastal cutie

Re: Not who they want to help.

Agreed - I generally avoid Amazon like the plague but was faced with having to use them when I couldn't find what I wanted anywhere else. It's about 5 years since I last used it and the deterioration in usability is astonishing, I've never had to wade through so much irrelevant c*** to get to what I actually need on any other site.

Microsoft breaks geolocation, locking users out of Azure and M365

Coastal cutie

I've lost count - are we down to M350 yet?

Duelling techies debugged printer by testing the strength of electric shocks

Coastal cutie

Re: Or a really old version...

The UK version was how many Sloanes - one to call the electrician and one to mix the G&Ts

Most Londoners would quit before they give up working from home

Coastal cutie

They are walking - into new jobs. Several of my neighbours worked for employers who insisted on a full return to office, no convincing reasons why and despite how well things had worked. They have all voted with their feet and are now in jobs that require little (one, no) attendance in the office - the companies they used to work for have been unable to recruit replacements and those colleagues left are actively looking to go as well. As soon as the agency tells the candidate it's full time office, they aren't interested. The few days a month I do have in the office are by far the least productive and I do not enjoy one little bit engaging with the smelly cesspit that is London public transport.

What's up with IT, Doc? Rabbit hole reveals cause of outage

Coastal cutie

Someone I used to work with had a Persian cat who did a similar trick with the Christmas tree lights. There was a flash, bang, cat thrown across the room and off went everything connected to that circuit. The cat survived, but ended up with every hair stood on end including the tail - all you could see was 2 staring eyes looking our from a pom-pom with a bottle brush tail

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

Coastal cutie

BOFH on tour?

"And so while the Director may have the IQ of a remedial houseplant" I think the BOFH may have been moonlighting at my company....

Take the morning off because Outlook has already

Coastal cutie

Re: funnier than others

There's a Caribbean version too - Luggage In Another Terminal

BOFH and the case of the Zoom call that never was

Coastal cutie

Re: One Of The Best BOFHs Ever

Ah but what a body...

New IT boss decided to 'audit everything you guys are doing wrong'. Which went wrong

Coastal cutie

I suspect he's now overall head of HR for Elon Musk's companies

IBM top brass accused again of using mainframes to prop up Watson, cloud sales

Coastal cutie

I'm gonna need a bigger bucket of popcorn

Microsoft to move some Teams features to more costly 'Premium' edition

Coastal cutie

Re: But what about fixing what people want?

I'm beginning to think I may be the only commentator who has a company installation of Teams that actually works without any issues. We had problems at the outset but these were traced to firewalls and secure access - once those were dealt with, it's run smoothly. Audio and video are good, dropped calls are pretty much non-existent now and the overall experience is better than any Zoom calls I've endured or worse still Webex. Sitting back and waiting for the downvotes...…...

Meet the merry pranksters who keep the workplace interesting, if not productive

Coastal cutie
Pint

Re: Going BOFH on a spammer.

Have as many beers or beverage of choice as you can muster - that is BOFH levels of inventiveness and I salute you

Bahamian rap: Crypto villain Sam Bankman-Fried arrested

Coastal cutie

"He had become well known in Washington DC as a political donor, mostly to Democratic politicians or groups, supposedly supporting pandemic prevention and improved crypto regulation." https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-63953096 Oh the irony...……...

BOFH: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

Coastal cutie

Re: Stoned Badger

I've worked with some support teams like that...…...

Twitter CISO flies the coop

Coastal cutie

Why anyone would stay at Twitter knowing how Musk treats people is a mystery to me (see the Elon Musk Show on BBC iPlayer for some examples) - though hopefully two of them are the local BOFH and PFY cooking up a suitably horrible scheme before they too jump ship.

University of Edinburgh staff paid late due to Oracle ERP troubles

Coastal cutie

Re: Another ERP Clusterfuck

That would require organisational abilities on a par with the ability to herd a body of cats roughly the size of the annual Serengeti migrations and with a serious attitude problem in the same direction.

Coastal cutie
Pint

Upvote and beer (or beverage of choice) for the wonderful description of a fan episode

Elon Musk reportedly outlines horrible Twitter layoff process

Coastal cutie
Facepalm

A rival for the IBM board

Well, someone seems to have decided that IBM should have some competition in the awards for A**hole of the Year and Biggest Breaker of Employment Law

BOFH: I know of a small biz that could deliver nothing for a fraction of the cost

Coastal cutie

Re: BOFH, that old softie...

I find that a wise approach, whatever software is used to create the document

Coastal cutie

A very elegant little hustle

IBM withholds healthcare subsidies from some retirees

Coastal cutie

Just when you thought IBM couldn't sink any lower

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