Re: KPIs, you get the service you pay for
But not the full list of your old software, which you need to repurchase (process takes at least 2 days) and install on your own time. As for the standard stuff, and the settings. No they are apparently not allowed to do that in advance of pick up (you get given a specific appointment to come and pick up your hardware, so it's not like someone drops in unannounced to collect new hardware!). So really an excellent use of company time.
This sort of waste of time used to bother me to no end. I realized it was hurting only myself to stew over how inefficiently the powers-that-be wanted me to use my time, but then I realized: they're paying for 8 hours of my time every day, so if they want me to spend them in stupid ways, that's not my concern. But I refuse to give up my non-paid personal hours to make up the difference in the form of unpaid overtime.
Want me to spend 90 minutes of high-salary engineer time waiting for the helpdesk to figure out how to plug the now-mandatory MFA token into the USB-C port that this old laptop doesn't have? Fine. It's no more or less useless than a team meeting where we sit around rehashing what we decided or couldn't decide last week.
This week, my division had our "all-hands" meeting where the division director spent 45 minutes showing us the PowerPoint presentation that he was going to send to everyone by e-mail later that afternoon. Then they decided that 25 minutes of everyone in the division's time was best spent participating in a series of "fun" poll questions like if would rather live in a Star Wars universe or a Lord of the Rings universe.
So that's fine; I'm off to lunch afterwards, on time. I guess any actual work will wait for the afternoon. Or tomorrow, if I can't get to it before 5:00. Your call, management.