* Posts by Klimt's Beast Would

57 posts • joined 27 Mar 2020


Ring glitch results in global ding dong ditch: Doorbell bling flings out random pings but they're not the real thing

Klimt's Beast Would

You can't ring my bell

...but Anita Ward can.*

Just more Amazon spyware that the consumer pays for. Motherboard has done a series on Ring.** We should be at minimum, horrified.


** https://www.vice.com/en/article/bv8qjq/amazons-ring-announces-an-entire-line-of-dystopian-surveillance-devices

Proposed US fix for Boeing 737 Max software woes does not address Ethiopian crash scenario, UK pilot union warns

Klimt's Beast Would

They've missed a trick. The 737-9 won't be popular in german speaking countries.

Klimt's Beast Would

Oooh, how about this: 'Allow the trim wheel to go up to 11!'*

* Is it bad form to reply to one's own post?

Klimt's Beast Would

Or maybe add a gear somewhere along the control cable to make it more effective?

I'm calling it the Boeing Constrictor on account of being too terrfied to move once I find out I'll be flying in it.

We're not getting back with Galileo, UK govt tells The Reg, as question marks sprout above its BS*

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Launching

Well that will cost them a few pon(e)ys.... and they might still object...

Tech ambitions said to lie at heart of Britain’s bonkers crash-and-burn Brexit plan

Klimt's Beast Would

Track record?

I should have read further before posting my most recent comment concerning the APT being flogged off to Italy (and ultimately being sold back to the UK - Beardy Trains).

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: GOV.UK Leads the way in high tech initiatives

We also had the Advanced Passenger Train under British Rail but it was flogged off to Italy (Pendolino*) and BR privatized...

Sometimes I think that we have a perverse penchant for dispatching our ginuea-pigs in more and more interesting ways. I'm sure there's a Neflix series in there somewhere.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pendolino#United_Kingdom

...although much of the technology was used to design and build Pendolino trains.

Klimt's Beast Would

This plan has...

...no legs. Or should that be ARMs?

Xiaomi and Samsung go head to head with new phones in bargain-basement 5G battle

Klimt's Beast Would

Spirit in the Sky

I bought the 75% a nice Xiaomi (which apparently also means 'little secretary' slang for a laptop & 'little mistress'*) with its nice headphone jack, IR blaster etc. as a b/p and get her off her expensive phone contract here in Brussels. I bought a cheapoid Nokia for myself. I'm still jealous but that is probably because I'm a git.

5G? I'm happy to wait two or three years.The only way to get me off my pay & go is when I'm cold and dead.

* according to Qiu Xiaolong, the author of the Inspector Chen detective novel in 'When Red is Black.' The BBC has produced a bunch of his novels for the radio.


So long, Top Gun... AI software waxes US F-16 pilot's tail 5-0 during virtual dogfight drills

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: EMP hoax!

What about ELP, or would Motörhead be more effective?

Samsung slows smartphone upgrade treadmill with promise to support three Android generations on Galaxies

Klimt's Beast Would

Call me cynical...

...but other manufacturers have been offering two OS updates and three years of guranteed security updates for a while already. That's why I bought a budget Nokia recently.

So this is more one-upmanship of a trend already in the making, a smart, pragmatic and PR friendly move from Samsung.

In the meantime with the consequences of COVID-19, are people going to be spending as usual or holding on to what they have for a little longer?

Ink tanks park themselves all over the lawns of Western Europe as orders flood in

Klimt's Beast Would

It'll probably be an ink tank printer for us too in future but to be honest we don't use it much except to have a paper backup of tickets and some documents.

I did have a wireless Samsung mono laser but when I discovered the business had been sold to HP, I sent it for recycling. My better 75.2% has a Brother inkjet that takes four cartridges (BkYCM). It used to wake up in the middle of the night to noisily 'clean the nozzles' until I left it unplugged until needed. It also refuses to print black/grayscale if any of the other cartriges have low ink levels (YCM=10 euros each, Bk=20!). It turns out that there is an easy hack to stop this by covering the cartridge transparency. Firmware updates over internet are blocked but the printer is quite old and of course hasn't had an update for a number of years.

Virgin Galactic pals up with Rolls-Royce to work on Mach 3 Concorde-style private jet that can carry up to 19 people

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Afterburners - IT support?

Have you tried turning it off and then on again?

Requested icon: sticky fingers

UK Defence Committee chair muses treating TikTok like Huawei: So eyeball its code then ban it from the country?

Klimt's Beast Would

bEllwood again?

So he's howls like a warewolf even when there isn't a full moon?*

* 100% of vets recommend that he changes his diet to scooby snacks, twice a day. 100% of cats disagree.

Co-inventor of the computer mouse, William English, dies

Klimt's Beast Would

If only...

...the Stanford Research Institute had been named the Research Stanford Institute (RSI), we all would have been warned.*

It's always a great loss when a genius and a pioneer passes.

* Have been using a very good cheapoid vertical mouse (Anker) the last few years. I've always wanted one since they appeared (late 1990s?) but they were an exhorbitant price for a long time. Fancied a trackball, but I've got weak thumbs.

Aviation regulator outlines fixes that will get the 737 MAX flying again

Klimt's Beast Would

To rework the old joke...

...if only there had been a dog in the cockpit to bite the software when it interfered with the controls...

I assume these fixes also mean that the pilots will no longer have to bust a gut to move the controls when there are significant aerodynamic forces acting on the control surfaces (i.e. at speed).

A long time ago my dad asked for a visit to the cockpit of a 747-300. I met the Pilot, Co-pilot... and the Flight Engineer. Woo!

Finally done with all those Patch Tuesday updates? Think again! Here's 33 Cisco bug fixes, with five criticals

Klimt's Beast Would




July? British government could decide to boot Chinese giant Huawei from the UK's networks by this month

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Look away...

Oh yes, but there are voices or reason...just on the outside of the inside... or is that out through the in door?


Klimt's Beast Would

Look away...

The change of heart might also have something to do with the Tory 1922 committee which has been banging on about dumping Huawei for quite some time.

Following his general election victory in December, at least 40 Conservative MPs would have to rebel against the government to inflict a parliamentary defeat on Mr Johnson.


Health Sec Hancock says UK will use Apple-Google API for virus contact-tracing app after all (even though Apple were right rotters)

Klimt's Beast Would

I've seen adverts on the Tube offering money for...

plucking spunk. But that was a fertility clinic* which I guess would want you to go there first rather than try it in public, underground and moving at speed...

* Though with Boris, he's already blurred the line between government and fertility clinic.

Have I Been Pwned breach report email pwned entire firm's helldesk ticket system

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Now, tell us, Troy

Does Troy know Joy? My first thoughts were the song by Harry Nilsson which could start as:

The other day, I got an email from Troy,

He said 'you've been pawned,

Don't be someone else's Troy boy,'

Well I went SQL and things were fixed,

Now every time I think of Troy,

It makes me sad

It makes me... sad


'5G for Five Eyes!' US senator tells Parliamentarians the world would be better without Huawei

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Hysteria

Thanks! Drinking my Chimay Bleue, I might have misunderstood Sly Fox.*

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Go_All_the_Way_(song)#Lyrical_content


Klimt's Beast Would


That's the same Senator Tom Cotton who is keen to have the US military on the streets and show protesters 'no mercy?' What a psycho.


Icon: Armageddon it, coz Tom Cotton is not gettin' it.

Talk about a control plane... US Air Force says upcoming B-21 stealth bomber will use Kubernetes

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: And the B52s?

They're getting new engines:


There's nothing like a quick war to distract attention from problems back home. It'll be over by Christmas, remember!

Not going Huawei just yet: UK ministers reportedly rethinking pledge to kick Chinese firm out of telco networks by 2023

Klimt's Beast Would
Black Helicopters

Re: Pot, Kettle, Black

A bit like this?

Your hard drives were riddled with NSA spyware for years


--The US National Security Agency (NSA) infected hard disk firmware with spyware in a campaign valued as highly as Stuxnet that dates back at least 14 years and possibly up to two decades – all according to an analysis by Kaspersky Labs.--

And this?

Intel ME controller chip has secret kill switch

Researchers find undocumented accommodation for government customers



AMD's version is apparently called PSP:

AMD’s Secure Processor Firmware Is Now Explorable Thanks to New Tool


Black helicopter icon because they'll get you when they want to!

Boeing brings back the 737 Max but also lays off thousands

Klimt's Beast Would


Further to Trump's suggestion of rebranding the MAX, I propose:*

737 MEX - Made in Mexico (a reflection of the post-truth world we now live in)

737 MIX - What happens to those onboard when it crashes (aka 'A Kenwood')

737 MOX - Public fooled again? (But not The Who - also not to be confused with Mixed OXide nuclear fuel unless it crashes in to an NPP)

737 MUX - Converted to air transport of swine, though all the pigs I've known have been very clean.

*I'm sticking to three letters and vowels - no Toad, Badger or Mole.

Klimt's Beast Would

... assuming there won't be a defeat device...

Boeing paging Volkswagen! Boeing paging Volkswagen!

I cheat, therefore I am.

Sherlock icon, because that's not my hand lighting the pipe... (honest!)

If American tech is used to design or make that chip, you better not ship it to Huawei, warns Uncle Sam

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Its' about 5G

But no UK doesn't want to piss off China.

There's a major revolt in the tory back benches against the government about it. Who'd have ever thought that such a large majority can also be a curse? What's that Chinese warning, 'may your wish be granted!'?


And in the real world, there's things like this:


What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Klimt's Beast Would

The Circle Square?

i.e. it's impossible mission to be all things to all bodies. Aka 'Not for want of trying'.

American tech goliaths decide innovation is the answer to Chinese 5G dominance, not bans, national security theater

Klimt's Beast Would

Open RAN

Endorsed by A Flock of Seagulls?

Icon: Getting my walkman out of the pocket. Spare batteries in the other.

Senior MP tells UK Defence Committee on 5G security: Russia could become China's cyber-attack dog

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: The wrong Elwood.

The Reg itself reports today how industry is trying to square this circle (unless I am seriously mistaken in my interpretation):

American tech goliaths decide innovation is the answer to Chinese 5G dominance, not bans, national security theater


Klimt's Beast Would

The wrong Elwood.

I propose the Blues Brothers, even if they are fictional and one of them is dead, would do a better job than these blowhards. At least they were properly entertaining rather than blowing smoke...

Elwood Blues: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.

Jake Blues: Hit it!

UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Early bird got the worm.

The horse was bolted and summer is almost here.

Ah-ha! Dr. Frankenstein finally makes an entrance!

So, from a fiction pov, I would like to know if Covid-19 affects the Borg differently from a Swedish Chef (Börk börk börk)?


Stefan Börk (batting away Covid-19 with my tennis racket).

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy

Klimt's Beast Would


...asm interruptus!

"It just didn't click for me, darling!"

Watch now the three UFO videos uncovered by Blink-182 star – and today officially released by the Pentagon

Klimt's Beast Would

The key here would be "Did the pilots acutally see the objects with their own eyes?" The answer to that appears to be 'No.'

There was an article a while back (can't find it obviously) that said it was a secret test on unsuspecting pilots of fancy Electronic Warfare equipment (IREWS?) designed to manipulate onboard sensors to make them see what they want.It's a fair bet that this is BAe America as they are now much hugher than Bae UK and do a lot of EW stuff too for the US military.

I found this though:


UK snubs Apple-Google coronavirus app API, insists on British control of data, promises to protect privacy

Klimt's Beast Would

Here in Belgium...

There's no mention of going down the app route (yet). So keep an eye out on how we do.

This brings up another question though, what happens when (if) we travel?

Will you have to prove you have downloaded the national (EU?) app before you are allowed in (and vice-versa)?

Lots of stuff not being said.

(Am surprised that clingfilm is still in stock....;) )

Airbus and Rolls-Royce hit eject on hybrid-electric airliner testbed after E-Fan X project fails to get off the ground

Klimt's Beast Would

Project shafted.

Can you dig it?

Royal Navy nuclear submarine captain rapped for letting crew throw shoreside BBQ party

Klimt's Beast Would


what will they do with the drunken sailors?*

I guess we'll find out, H&S guidlines followed to a 'T'!

If Russia has any spare Typhoon class submarines, maybe they could do a ports tour and also allow barbecues onboard. There's plenty of space after all even with 2m SocDic rulz.

*Answers (shrimps) on a postcard please to No.10 Cat:


Klimt's Beast Would

My cat's got hairy ticks. I'm certainly not burning those off. Can't afford the carbon emissions permits...

ICANN delays .org sell off after California's attorney general intervenes at last minute, tears non-profit a new one over sale

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Wouldn't surprise me to find some entities involved in this sale that are somehow connected to

Is that Southpark's Cartman singing 'Come sail away' in the background?

Being in Lick Down*, I highly recommend listening to Chef Aid: The Southpark Album.

* as all owners of dogs and cats are.

Quantum computing heats up down under as researchers reckon they know how to cut costs and improve stability

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Give it a couple more decades

so where are those damn quantum desktops?

Hold on, I'll fire up my quantum microscope. This. May. Take. A. While. I hope the robohoover is on holiday.


Me: "Siri (Alexa/etc.) Where did I leave my quantum desktops?"

Siri/Alexa/etc. "Have you tried looking down the back of the sofa? You were drunk last night and tried to give cocktails to your dog while watching netfilx and you said at 21:37 'I'll just run a task on my quantum desktops before the film starts.'


I suppose the real wager should be, What came first, Artificial Intelligence or Quantum Computing? Answers on a postcard please.

Klimt's Beast Would

Wake me up...

from my cryotube in 2173 so I can see if it works yet... and if Woody Allen's film 'Sleeper' is in any way accurate*

Or, I could just wait until 2044 to see if it works yet... and if the world is like the classic Polish sci-fi film Seksmisja.**

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeper_(1973_film)

** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexmission

UK MPs fume after Huawei posts open letter stating: 'Disrupting our involvement in the 5G rollout would do Britain a disservice'

Klimt's Beast Would


Irritable Duncan Syndrome?

I'm also quite shocked that a Chinese company dares play politics. Who does Mr. Zhang thinks he is?

BTW, is China still keeping its 30% allowed stake (and kidney) in the Hinkley Point C mega project? For strategic reasons, UK Gov should buy it out.

/sarc (obvs)

Europe calls for single app to track coronavirus. Meanwhile America pretends it isn’t trying to build one at all

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: So, Musk bought a thousand ventilators

and stirred.

But can you stick it in a cocktail? (I'll stop now for decency's sake).

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: If you wish to let people move freely across borders, you need a single app too

What about GSM tower pings?

Sure, it's not that accurate, but for a large scale training exercise purposes the ID can be anonymised (not that it would be a problem for intelligence services).

It would be effective cross-border too, smart or grampyphone.

In (most) EU countries SIM cards have to be registered by law. Having the emergency contact details set up would be helpful too.

A simpler, minimally invasive first step to other means of contact tracing/cluster discovery or other solutions.

And all this without mentioning the bigger kettle of fish (BKoF) known as 5G rollout...

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: So, Musk bought a thousand ventilators

I misread that, i.e. 'So, Musk bought a thousand vibrators'

Imagine the surprise on opening the package!

I think I know why I misread it. There was a report Belgian VRT Nieuws last night that a Danish sex toy manufacturer have doubled their sales... Stay home, stay safe, stay happy.

Microsoft to find virtual ways of 'absorbing interns' energy' as students told to stay home – and events off until next year

Klimt's Beast Would

"Oooh, no missus!"

"my pipe's too small!" tittered Captain F. Howerd from the bridge of the USS Carry On Up the Junction (NCC-1969).

This lick down is obviously getting to me.

If at first you don't succeed, fly, fly again: Boeing to repeat CST-100 test, Russia preps another ISS taxi

Klimt's Beast Would

re: Branding?


2: 737 Starliner

3: SpaceX White Rabbit

Real-time tragedy: Dumb deletion leaves librarian red-faced and fails to nix teenage kicks on the school network

Klimt's Beast Would
Thumb Up

Re: How to get Colossal Cave installed

Arrrrghhhh! Errrrghhhhh! OOorrrrrrghhhhh! I am transforming......

Yup. I'm getting quite weepy now. Absolutely nothing to do with the bottle of Côtes du Rhône I've finished. Sniff. Thanks very much!

Klimt's Beast Would

I've just had a massive


Mainframe hosted text based game, mid(?) 1980s, played though my Dad's VT131 (I think).

"You are in a corridor.There is a dwarf with an axe..." I don't remember much more but I looked it up and I think it is Will Crowther's “Colossal Cave Adventure”*

Oh, we also used to chat first thing in the morning when he was on sabattical on the other side of the planet. I feel faint. I'm going to lie down now.

* http://www.digitalhumanities.org/dhq/vol/001/2/000009/000009.html



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