* Posts by Klimt's Beast Would

83 publicly visible posts • joined 27 Mar 2020


Qualcomm reveals it's not selling to Russia during Twitter spat

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Policy via social media: It's a thing now

I'm waiting for the declaration of nuclear war that's posted solely on facebook.

Which the other side won't get if facebook aka 'mutter' is already banned. The plus side is that we can blame the other side for not noticing we've started it.

Toshiba reveals 30TB disk drive to arrive by 2024

Klimt's Beast Would

Can't touch this?

What does the competition say or are they not in the Premier League?

Geomagnetic storm takes out 40 of 49 brand new Starlink satellites

Klimt's Beast Would


Saviour of the Astronomers?

Nah mate, there's loads more already up there. More a flash in the pan then. Bummer.

One white cat and a volcano short of a Bond villain: Rocket Lab's Peter Beck shows off the 'Hungry Hippo'

Klimt's Beast Would


It looks like a giant squid to me so it has to have an edgy spelling like g.Skivd or something for PR purposes.

Boeing 737 Max chief technical pilot charged with deceiving US aviation regulators over MCAS

Klimt's Beast Would

Forkner forked, aka an autoforking.

Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'

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Our local Carrefour has been a bit threadbare in the last few days. Fortunately we have plenty of beer in the fridge.

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: "He runs on carrots"

I wouldn't recommend it.

Carrots are very slippery as I have discovered although I am not a horse (honest).

Also slippery when wet! Cue the Bon Jovi!

Imagine a fiber optic cable that can sense it's about to be dug up and send a warning

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Van vs cyclist

So it could detect say a Bear wearing a tutu on a tricycle followed by a panda in spandex on a scooter? Now that would be niche.

UKRI denies pulling funding from Newport Wafer Fab over Chinese ownership concerns

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Chunky chips...

I raise you by sauce andalouse and Triple Westmalle.*

*Once you've gone trappist, you'll always be papissed...(?)

Suck on this: El Reg forces dog hair, biscuit crumbs, and disconcertingly sticky stains down two mini vacuums

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Re: Is there a vacc...

She was spayed years ago but for some reason this year she's changed her habits from her usual gentle tail lifting. Vets usually leave a little bit in there for 'quality of life' purposes... One part water and one part vinegar has been applied and the carpet is being left to hang off a door... What a git.

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Robovac without an app

Suck it to me?


Klimt's Beast Would

Is there a vacc...

....for a horny middle aged cat?

Ours has gone beyond the brief squirting of ladyjuice on my DVDs (wot they?) and usual places. Only summer she has started to target our 4 euro (1mx2m) carpet we bought from a brocante a few years ago. This is too far. In the evenings we get a more than faint Mungo Jerry whiff. Alco-gel? Check! Soda bicarbonate? Check! Does she give a s***? No. If there is a robot vaccum cleaner which can detect spots of cat juice and spray the affected areas, I'm interested. Either that or I hire a sniper to knock off the young buck who puts our puss in to a tizz by parading across the garages out back.*

*It has occurred to me to wee on the carpet to cover the cats non-discretion, but I think the 75% might object...

Taikonauts complete seven-hour spacewalk, the first for China since 2008

Klimt's Beast Would

Flight of the Conchords?

Disco classic Rasputin and pop anthem revealed as reasons Twitter suspended Indian politicians

Klimt's Beast Would

I spy a second hand market for...

...weather balloons!

Or maybe second hand aliens?

I hope somebody reboots the classic 'The Invaders' series from 1967/8.

Instead of being able to identify them by malformed pinkies, it could be the digitus medius manus ;) two left hands or something else.

But who would play David Vincent? Answers on a postcard please.


The splitting image: Sufferer of hurty wrist pain? Logitech's K860 a potential answer

Klimt's Beast Would

And in the picture...

... is a vertical mouse.

I bought an Anker one a few years ago and it has been great for gaming work.

This is combined with a standing desk (just a small table on a slightly larger table) and learning to stand for long periods. Once you are in the habit it's much better for your back too.

Devilish plans for your next app update ensure they never happen – unless you start praying

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Buttering up the devil

I read cloven-ready meal*

* though I'd rather prefer a South Indian possibly veggie dish in a proper restaurant (that's you Ragam!). Bring on the Cobras...

How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful

Klimt's Beast Would

It's a whole lot of nuts (but not much fruit)

It turns out that 'industry standard' HDMI CEC is more of a set of guidelines than a hard set of specifications which is why different brands don't behave well together. F**ers.

How did I discover this? A half a decade old Samsung TV + a not fancy Sony soundbar.

Getting the Samsung universal remote to work (TV settings) was only half the struggle but still easier than Marx.

Once you use a DVD player, unplug and replug a RaspberryPi, use the TV as a second monitor (and general messing about), at some point the TV magically forgets the soundbar and goes skipping off through a field full of dasies.

This 'Standard says NO' has driven lots of others to go up the wall and give up. But I have a stupid stubborn streak and didn't, spending quite a long time going through all the combinations & reading internet posts to find a solution.

If you unplug the TV & soundbar power cables, wait ten minutes or so and plug it all back in and on it may work again; If not, unplug TV & soundbar power and the HDMI-ARC cables. Wait, plug in the TV power and turn it on. Connect the soundbar's HDMI-ARC cable to the TV's ARC socket. Only then plug in the soundbar power and turn it on. Go to soundbar settings on the Sony remote and make sure it is HDMI /CTRL is set to on and also /TVSTB. Exit.

Go to Samsung TV settings and find 'universal remote setup' and set up 'sound theatre' to go through the IR on/off tests until it works, et voila! Even then I still need the Sony remote to control sound functions.*

The first time I worked this out, I did not write it down. Cue a few months later and the same situation with even more swearing and learning the same thing again but writing it down. AAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!

The kicker? The 75% won't touch the remotes. She tells me what she wants. I'm the remote control.

* There is one gremlin as every now and then the TV forgets which HDMI channel it's on and the 'source' button on the TVSTB remote doesn't work so you have to use the Samsung remote. Once that's done everything's find and dandy again.

It is 60 years since the first cosmonaut reached orbit and 40 years since the Shuttle first left the launchpad

Klimt's Beast Would

I salute Gagarin's...

...giant cosmonaut space balls of iron!

And everyone who followed, those that didn't make it and all the involuntary beasties who preceeded them.

I would love to see an experiment in space to measure the metabolisation of alcohol in the human body. It would make a fine IgNobel prize. I volunteer! ;)

Northrop Grumman's MEV-2 gives Intelsat satellite a new lease on life until the next rescue in another five years

Klimt's Beast Would

Piiiigs iiiiin Spaaaaace!

Incredibly useful for extending the lives of very, very expensive military satellites too. Also targeting and carrying out close recon of others (shhh!).

* A Miss Piggy in space suit icon please. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY YA!

'No' does not mean 'yes'... unless you are a scriptwriter for software user interfaces

Klimt's Beast Would

Depeche Mode...


'Tweedle Dee' & 'Tweedle Dum'?


Vodafone chief gushes over OpenRAN, says commercial deployments to start this year

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One typo away from A Flock of Seagulls...

...coz 'O' is next to 'I' on the keyboard!


I walk along OpenRanavenue,

I never thought I'd meet a network (architecture) like you,

Meet a network (architecture) like you,

With 5G masts and swap out kit,

The kind of kit that hypnotizes me through,

Your kit hypnotizes me through

And I ran, I ran so far Huawei,

I just ran, I ran all night and day,

I couldn't get Huawei

Royal Navy and Air Force get low-code bridge in UK military recruitment saga

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Here we go....

Doesn't it count more if you combine them?

I wandered lonely as an AI,

Yet my low code was only block chain,

But the cloud precipitously saved my bacon.*

* It doesn't make any sense to me either.

Amazon sues NY Attorney General in preemptive strike: Web giant faces claim it did not fully protect workers in COVID-19 pandemic

Klimt's Beast Would

Well, amazon is the size of a country

...soon with it's own Air Force:


-Seattle-based Amazon has been working to deliver most of its packages itself and rely less on UPS, the U.S. Postal Service and other carriers.-

-Amazon said the 11 planes, all of which are Boeing 767-300s, will be converted to hold cargo instead of passengers.-


It looks like just the start. Also many US trucking businesses have been going to the wall with a splat while Amazon's fleet keeps truckin'


What's the phrase for a 'state within a state? ;)

Amazon response to its detractors is 'Cry me a river' as long as it is legally allowed to get away with abusing its dominant market position.

Debut firing of NASA's Space Launch System core stage cut short following 'Major Component Failure'

Klimt's Beast Would


...attempted validation of something that proceeds to go t*ts up!

Let the chips fall where they may: US Commerce dept whacks Middle Kingdom firm SMIC on naughty list

Klimt's Beast Would

Emmentallin' it? You're not gettin' it.

So the US is adding this to another in a long list of WTO* rules 'national security' exceptions?

It's all getting very Swiss cheezy and that's before it goes fondu!

* Wot The Orifice?

Ring glitch results in global ding dong ditch: Doorbell bling flings out random pings but they're not the real thing

Klimt's Beast Would

You can't ring my bell

...but Anita Ward can.*

Just more Amazon spyware that the consumer pays for. Motherboard has done a series on Ring.** We should be at minimum, horrified.


** https://www.vice.com/en/article/bv8qjq/amazons-ring-announces-an-entire-line-of-dystopian-surveillance-devices

Proposed US fix for Boeing 737 Max software woes does not address Ethiopian crash scenario, UK pilot union warns

Klimt's Beast Would

They've missed a trick. The 737-9 won't be popular in german speaking countries.

Klimt's Beast Would

Oooh, how about this: 'Allow the trim wheel to go up to 11!'*

* Is it bad form to reply to one's own post?

Klimt's Beast Would

Or maybe add a gear somewhere along the control cable to make it more effective?

I'm calling it the Boeing Constrictor on account of being too terrfied to move once I find out I'll be flying in it.

We're not getting back with Galileo, UK govt tells The Reg, as question marks sprout above its BS*

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Launching

Well that will cost them a few pon(e)ys.... and they might still object...

Tech ambitions said to lie at heart of Britain’s bonkers crash-and-burn Brexit plan

Klimt's Beast Would

Track record?

I should have read further before posting my most recent comment concerning the APT being flogged off to Italy (and ultimately being sold back to the UK - Beardy Trains).

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: GOV.UK Leads the way in high tech initiatives

We also had the Advanced Passenger Train under British Rail but it was flogged off to Italy (Pendolino*) and BR privatized...

Sometimes I think that we have a perverse penchant for dispatching our ginuea-pigs in more and more interesting ways. I'm sure there's a Neflix series in there somewhere.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pendolino#United_Kingdom

...although much of the technology was used to design and build Pendolino trains.

Klimt's Beast Would

This plan has...

...no legs. Or should that be ARMs?

Xiaomi and Samsung go head to head with new phones in bargain-basement 5G battle

Klimt's Beast Would

Spirit in the Sky

I bought the 75% a nice Xiaomi (which apparently also means 'little secretary' slang for a laptop & 'little mistress'*) with its nice headphone jack, IR blaster etc. as a b/p and get her off her expensive phone contract here in Brussels. I bought a cheapoid Nokia for myself. I'm still jealous but that is probably because I'm a git.

5G? I'm happy to wait two or three years.The only way to get me off my pay & go is when I'm cold and dead.

* according to Qiu Xiaolong, the author of the Inspector Chen detective novel in 'When Red is Black.' The BBC has produced a bunch of his novels for the radio.


So long, Top Gun... AI software waxes US F-16 pilot's tail 5-0 during virtual dogfight drills

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: EMP hoax!

What about ELP, or would Motörhead be more effective?

Samsung slows smartphone upgrade treadmill with promise to support three Android generations on Galaxies

Klimt's Beast Would

Call me cynical...

...but other manufacturers have been offering two OS updates and three years of guranteed security updates for a while already. That's why I bought a budget Nokia recently.

So this is more one-upmanship of a trend already in the making, a smart, pragmatic and PR friendly move from Samsung.

In the meantime with the consequences of COVID-19, are people going to be spending as usual or holding on to what they have for a little longer?

Ink tanks park themselves all over the lawns of Western Europe as orders flood in

Klimt's Beast Would

It'll probably be an ink tank printer for us too in future but to be honest we don't use it much except to have a paper backup of tickets and some documents.

I did have a wireless Samsung mono laser but when I discovered the business had been sold to HP, I sent it for recycling. My better 75.2% has a Brother inkjet that takes four cartridges (BkYCM). It used to wake up in the middle of the night to noisily 'clean the nozzles' until I left it unplugged until needed. It also refuses to print black/grayscale if any of the other cartriges have low ink levels (YCM=10 euros each, Bk=20!). It turns out that there is an easy hack to stop this by covering the cartridge transparency. Firmware updates over internet are blocked but the printer is quite old and of course hasn't had an update for a number of years.

Virgin Galactic pals up with Rolls-Royce to work on Mach 3 Concorde-style private jet that can carry up to 19 people

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Afterburners - IT support?

Have you tried turning it off and then on again?

Requested icon: sticky fingers

UK Defence Committee chair muses treating TikTok like Huawei: So eyeball its code then ban it from the country?

Klimt's Beast Would

bEllwood again?

So he's howls like a warewolf even when there isn't a full moon?*

* 100% of vets recommend that he changes his diet to scooby snacks, twice a day. 100% of cats disagree.

Co-inventor of the computer mouse, William English, dies

Klimt's Beast Would

If only...

...the Stanford Research Institute had been named the Research Stanford Institute (RSI), we all would have been warned.*

It's always a great loss when a genius and a pioneer passes.

* Have been using a very good cheapoid vertical mouse (Anker) the last few years. I've always wanted one since they appeared (late 1990s?) but they were an exhorbitant price for a long time. Fancied a trackball, but I've got weak thumbs.

Aviation regulator outlines fixes that will get the 737 MAX flying again

Klimt's Beast Would

To rework the old joke...

...if only there had been a dog in the cockpit to bite the software when it interfered with the controls...

I assume these fixes also mean that the pilots will no longer have to bust a gut to move the controls when there are significant aerodynamic forces acting on the control surfaces (i.e. at speed).

A long time ago my dad asked for a visit to the cockpit of a 747-300. I met the Pilot, Co-pilot... and the Flight Engineer. Woo!

Finally done with all those Patch Tuesday updates? Think again! Here's 33 Cisco bug fixes, with five criticals

Klimt's Beast Would




July? British government could decide to boot Chinese giant Huawei from the UK's networks by this month

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Look away...

Oh yes, but there are voices or reason...just on the outside of the inside... or is that out through the in door?


Klimt's Beast Would

Look away...

The change of heart might also have something to do with the Tory 1922 committee which has been banging on about dumping Huawei for quite some time.

Following his general election victory in December, at least 40 Conservative MPs would have to rebel against the government to inflict a parliamentary defeat on Mr Johnson.


Health Sec Hancock says UK will use Apple-Google API for virus contact-tracing app after all (even though Apple were right rotters)

Klimt's Beast Would

I've seen adverts on the Tube offering money for...

plucking spunk. But that was a fertility clinic* which I guess would want you to go there first rather than try it in public, underground and moving at speed...

* Though with Boris, he's already blurred the line between government and fertility clinic.

Have I Been Pwned breach report email pwned entire firm's helldesk ticket system

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Now, tell us, Troy

Does Troy know Joy? My first thoughts were the song by Harry Nilsson which could start as:

The other day, I got an email from Troy,

He said 'you've been pawned,

Don't be someone else's Troy boy,'

Well I went SQL and things were fixed,

Now every time I think of Troy,

It makes me sad

It makes me... sad


'5G for Five Eyes!' US senator tells Parliamentarians the world would be better without Huawei

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: Hysteria

Thanks! Drinking my Chimay Bleue, I might have misunderstood Sly Fox.*

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Go_All_the_Way_(song)#Lyrical_content


Klimt's Beast Would


That's the same Senator Tom Cotton who is keen to have the US military on the streets and show protesters 'no mercy?' What a psycho.


Icon: Armageddon it, coz Tom Cotton is not gettin' it.

Talk about a control plane... US Air Force says upcoming B-21 stealth bomber will use Kubernetes

Klimt's Beast Would

Re: And the B52s?

They're getting new engines:


There's nothing like a quick war to distract attention from problems back home. It'll be over by Christmas, remember!