Posts by ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo

Windows reports two CPU speeds because one would be too simple

It's GiHz, which is 1024 MiHz, which in turn ... you know the drill

Microsoft pulls MS365 Business Premium from nonprofits

Re: It's a pain - but there is a better solution

Premium also gives you Intune.

For large orgs, having a central management is really nice. Otherwise yeah, Standard is good enough.

Trump says he has a problem if Apple builds iThings in India

Re: iNdia

They should just put the place of manufacture into an iNDA. The less people know ...

Scammers are deepfaking voices of senior US government officials, warns FBI

Yeah, this surely can't be a problem in a US that is transitioning into a Führer state, in which the word, or the unspoken will, of the beloved Covfefe in Chief rules supreme, and all legal and due processes are abolished in favour of rule by Xeet

NASA keeps ancient Voyager 1 spacecraft alive with Hail Mary thruster fix

Imagine a modern probe designed by Redmond

Halfway through its primary mission you get a break or break OS update, and slap bang when the minimun contract requirements are met, you get a "sorry, not sorry, you're out of support" OS update.

The Voyagers and their operators are heros

GAO finds billions in possible government savings, all without Elon's help

The Mission of DOGE, the department for the enshittification of america, is to destroy all those pesky regulators.

US tech titans rejoice in $600B Saudi shopping spree

Given enough GPUs

maybe AI will finish building The Line.

At least, they can update it to consist of Renderite 2.0

US Copyright Office found AI companies sometimes breach copyright. Next day its boss was fired

Money

Buy yourself into a shitty party: a million dollars.

Have the legal courts wrecked, when it serves your needs: priceless

OpenAI caves to pressure, keeps nonprofit in charge

Uncreative accountants

If it's only about extracting money, couldn't they just hired some creative accountants, and say, pay Open AI Tax Haven plc. a licence fee for every AI inference or so ... you know, to protect innovation in the IT sector of tax-free caribbean or channel islands

Microsoft to preload Word minutes after boot

Diggers routine

On a construction site, usually the digger driver, first thing in the morning, starts the engine and then goes forna coffee or tea, so that the engine and the hydraulics can get up to temperature.

We office bids should adopt that habit.

Re: You know that bit in The Meaning Of Life...

But, but, ... it's wafer thin ...

Zuck ghosts metaverse as Meta chases AI goldrush

Ponzi-Tech

Isn't promising "AI will write the code of future AI" an admission of running a Ponzi scheme?

Future investors will pay for current profits sounds awfully similar.

X marks the drop for European users

Nicely done

TheReg demonstrates a real world example for the use of AI in corporations that is actually good, well, not shit.

Instead of getting newspeak responses from corporate PR people, Grok tell it how it is ... until that gets enshittified away.

But right now, definitely in improvement over the shit emoji auto-reply.

30 percent of some Microsoft code now written by AI - especially the new stuff

The curse of recursive Clippy

It seems like you are .. It seems like you are .. It seems like you are ..

Elon Musk makes another cut – to his time at DOGE

Re: Oligarchs

Nah, I don't think Shitler has it in him to act the same way as Putler. One is a calculating, ruthless spy and the other is a clueless ... I don't know.

Trump couldn't develop such a tight grip on his oligarchs as Putler has, even if he tried to.

-> Where's my Dicktator Guide 101?

In wake of Horizon scandal, forensics prof says digital evidence is a minefield

Re: It's not just a data integrity issue.

I bet, somewhere in Horizon's EULA, it says that one can not expect the software to work as expected.

Case closed

Apple: Since you care about yOuR pRiVaCy, we'll train our AI on made-up emails

self-enshittification?

The normal course of events is: first, you create a product, and bring it to the masses. When there is a successor product, you want the public to buy into, you start to enshittify your legacy product.

Normally ... with AI being the enshittifier. In this case, AI seems to be everything, the enshittification agent as well as legacy and successor product

-> desperately lookin for my enshittification manual

Pentagon needs China's rare earths, Beijing just put them behind a permit wall. Oops

Can't they simply change over to medium rare elements?

I like my elements medium rare.

Trump derails Chinese H20 GPU sales, forcing Nvidia to eat $5.5B this quarter

Cost of doing business

What a nice business you have there.

Wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to it?

Uncle Sam kills funding for CVE program. Yes, that CVE program

Let the offenders pay

Spin in off into a Foundation and bill Adobe, Microsoft et al.

Whoever does an oopsie,

that warrants a CVE number,

pay x amount of $ into the CVE fund.

-> where's my Cock-up Value Estimator? I need to determine the fee for a nasty little bug.

Self-driving car maker Musk's DOGE rocks up at self-driving car watchdog, cuts staff

Re: Self-driving is a fallacy

This.

I'd like to add, that current self-driving (the one that requires you to be attentive and able to intervene at any moment) is a even worse proposition.

If I had a chaffeur, I can read mails, watch a movie or be totally passed out after drinking too much.

Current self-driving? Nope. Not a chance in the world.

So, it's currently the worst of both worlds. The additional cost of a chaffeur and burden of being attentive at all times.

As CISA braces for more cuts, threat intel sharing takes a hit

Re: :disbelief:

"Apply Occam's Razor" with a healthy dose of Hanlon's razor.

Is he a top 4D chess player, or a compromised, useful Manchurian Idiot?

Is he being stupid, rather than malicous?

-> So many razors! I can't find the one I need right now.

Re: Don’t worry

Vlad will make sure that nothing untowards happens in the United Oblasts of America

Re: :disbelief:

Who needs election security people, when there won't be anymore elections?

Would be a terrible waste and inefficiency to keep them around.

All that counts is the word and the will of the glorious Fuhrer and beloved grabber of the P, Shitler the biggest, the most amazing, of covfefe.

EU lands 25% counter tariff punch on US, Trump pauses broad import levy hike – China excepted

Do you think, Liz Truss is sad?

Sad to see how Trump gets away with wrecking the world economy, while she was ousted by a slowly rotting cabbage, after her mini budget.

Fear of tariffs made the PC market great again in Q1 as vendors emptied factories to dodge price future hikes

Re: What about Q2/3

Well, it's the 50s or so, that's the great mythical time when America was great. What was the personal computer back then?

The slide rule. So damn all these newfangled electronics.

Tech hiring stalls as AI hype, layoffs, tariffs, economic uncertainty, more collide

Well, somebody ought to make MAGA caps in the US.

Imagine all the low-paying jobs in sweatshops, which used to be robbed by the other countries. Now, Joe Average has the opportunity to take over ...

Microsoft puts $1B US datacenter builds on hold amid AI, tariff uncertainty

Re: 'It's not you babe, it's me.'

Ah, a stab in the back of the AI bubble legend.

Well done Sir, well done.

From now on, AI hype will tell us of what could have been. Very well suited to Silly Con Valley's motto: "fake it, then don't make it. But keep up the hype"

Trump tariffs to make prices great – a gain

Another one, this time straight from the horses mouth

You be tired of winning

Re: The fall of the Roman Empire 2.0

Orange Nero is a bad artist though.

Celebrity yes, but artist not.

As is the case with many things, the original Nero trumps the pathetic remake.

FAA closes investigations into Blue Origin landing fail, Starship Flight 7 explosion

Re: US <s>Federal</s> Aviation <s>Administration</s>

What's cheaper, buying the presidency and the goverment (or what's left of it) or complying with all regulations?

After Chrome patches zero-day used to target Russians, Firefox splats similar bug

Web browser = a shitty operating system?

There was a joke that all software devolve into being able to act as an email client.

When did browsers become OSs? With IPC and the like?

Jeff Bezos can now taunt Elon Musk: I'm building a moon rover for NASA, when can Tesla do that?

... and it will be fully self driving

-> this one is to conceal my identity, 'cos who knows when mocking Tesla will become terrorism

Microsoft's many Outlooks are confusing users – including its own employees

What about Outlook (less shitty)?

ffs

AI agents swarm Microsoft Security Copilot

Can it be turned off?

I guess no, but that's a vital question for all press events in which $COMPANY announces $PRODUCT

"This is nice, but how can we get rid of it"

Trump orders all government IT contracts consolidated under GSA

Re: #winning forever, again!

You forgot to mention that this greatest of all the biggestest governments in history is Making Measels Great Again.

Freedom Freckles I saw them referref to, I think it was on TheReg sonewhere.

Re: ps f47

Fitting

When the plane turns out to be a unmitigated success such asvthe Starliner, then it is fully appropriate to number the fighter after the Manchurian President

AWS sued by product manager who says she was laid off for being an older woman

If I had a time machine

I would fetch Grace Hopper to visit the Brorons running the big tech companies.

I image Admiral Hoppers reaction to such "leadership" to be interesting and entertaining

Privacy warriors whip out GDPR after ChatGPT wrongly accuses dad of child murder

The magic of the EULA

We sell you a product for real money, but declare in the same instance, that we do not guarantee for anything.

However ...

when the Internet searching ChatGPTs encounter stories about the man, who supposedly killed his kids, will it then "learn" from its previous hallucinations?

VA IT contract cancellation DOGE boasted about ... was due to end in 10 days anyway

Early termination fee

I could imagine, that some might want to sue for early contract termination fees. 'cis why not

CISA fires, now rehires and immediately benches security crew on full pay

It's called D.O.U.C.H.E

Department

Of

Unregulated

Chaotic

Hellish

Emerica

Extortion crew threatened to inform Edward Snowden (?!) if victim didn't pay up

How nice of them to lend a hand in enforcing the law

You've been pwned and reported to the authorities for having been pwned

#doubleWhammy

Microsoft wouldn't look at a bug report without a video. Researcher maliciously complied

Re: May I recommend...

Can you dance the PoC?

->

this coat is used for dancing,

and that is what I'll do,

I'm gonna dance all over you

AI running out of juice despite Microsoft's hard squeezing

Re: What's the next boondoggle?

I can carry buckets.

-> let me fetch my bucket carrying diploma

Re: I have a colleague who wants to spend over 40K in AI hardware...

A lazy worker, who knows his stuff is valuable.

A dumb lazy worker, on the other hand, ...

Dems ask federal agencies for reassurance DOGE isn't feeding data into AI willy-nilly

Legal justification

Isn't the word of The Führer sufficient justification?

-> mine's the one which doesn't have German Insignia from '39 on it

OpenAI asks Uncle Sam to let it scrape everything, stop other countries complaining

Democratic democratic

I guess the proposal lands right in the bin, cos it proposes democratic things.

If they do a sed s/democratic/republican/g the proposal will become law.

Microsoft adds another Copilot hotkey – this time for AI voice chat

In future news

All keys will launch Co-Clippy-Pilot.

You can tell it, which keys you want pressed, and it will oblige ... after a few messages

Is NASA's science budget heading for a black hole?

Target your audience

Maybe NASA should propose to search for the Moon Nazis instead of looking for plain old water, which, you know, is used in the toilet.