* Posts by Simian Surprise

47 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Jan 2020

Binance robbed of $600 million in crypto-tokens

Simian Surprise

Re: the government pays up

I hope they take all my money if I ever become as much of a bleeding idiot as it takes to post something like this.

AI drug algorithms can be flipped to invent bioweapons

Simian Surprise

> having model APIs where you can cut off access if it looks like some bad actors are trying to use your toxicity models for these sorts of various purposes would be a step [towards harm reduction].

Great idea! We can analyze the model usage to see if it looks like what someone would be using to create toxic compounds. All we need to do is train a machine-learning model...

Driver in Uber's self-driving car death goes on trial, says she feels 'betrayed'

Simian Surprise
Black Helicopters

> Finally, the agency will consult legal counsel and experts in ethics

Ah yes, spend the time and money, and only *then* worry about whether it's legal. (I expect that the "experts in ethics" bit is dry humor.)

Food for thought on the return to the office

Simian Surprise

I downvoted you for not using vim and for systemd, but it turned into an upvote for clever idea.

BOFH: On Wednesdays, we wear gloves

Simian Surprise

Re: Clever writing

I choose to believe that the BOFH did none of that stuff at all. You think, given the kind of state that beancounter is in, that he's going to go check his credit-card statement first?

Laziness is a virtue in tech, I'm told (along with impatience and hubris). Why bother doing all that when you can spend a full 5 minutes in the lift and have your worries vanish?

Besides, it's not like he can't turn around and do it the next day if his advice goes unheeded...

IntelliJ IDEA plugin catches lazy copy-pasted Java source

Simian Surprise

> ... AntiCopyPaster will run the snippet through its onboard Gradient Boosting Classifier model to check whether it's a suitable candidate for refactoring (revision) using IntelliJ IDEA's built-in Extract Method.

They do know that this doesn't stop it from being a "derivative work", right? The licensing concerns are all still there.

If they really wanted to do some fancy analysis they should go and check for licensing issues and then block/complain because of *that*.

There's something to be said for delayed gratification when Windows 11 is this full of bugs

Simian Surprise

Re: Some things never change

"of ... memory"?

Lucky you!

Remember when you thought fax machines were dead-matter teleporters? Ah, just me, then

Simian Surprise

Re: A3? That's not big.

Man, nothing like coming to the comments on a SFTW and watching people making it about COVID again...

Aren't there enough COVID articles for you to comment on?

Ex-org? Not at all! Three and a half years after X.Org Server 1.20, 1.21 is released

Simian Surprise

Re: Wayland creators

And then do we tie him to a public urinal?

Jamstack research: Typescript and serverless are the winners

Simian Surprise

Re: "React (...) ...at 8 years old it should be over"

At my former job, the webdevs considered the 4-year-old front-end Angular code base becoming "legacy" and in need of a (React) rewrite, while us poor backend debs had to contend with a ten-year-old* Java codebase, the only truly "legacy" bits were support for features that had been dropped years back but the code kept for that one other bit of code that kinda sorta used it.

I'm tempted to guess that part of the problem is that large Javascript codebases are difficult to understand and maintain, so as developers come and go the project quickly reaches a point where few people really understand how all of it works. The way out? Rewrite it so now *you* understand it!

* yes, yes, you have your 30-year-old COBOL codebases, I know...

Clearview CEO doubles down, claims biz has now scraped over ten billion social media selfies for surveillance

Simian Surprise

Re: His muskiness tweets

It's "In Brief". The rest of the article also doesn't have anything to do with Clearview.

El Reg is just collecting a bunch of events they didn't publish as full articles.

IBM US staff must be fully vaccinated by December – or go back to bed without pay

Simian Surprise

So is this them "playing it safe" regarding who falls under the scope of the EO, or have management decided to see how far they can push their employees?

I don't work at IBM, but I do work for a medium-sized multinational corporation, and (especially with the job market as it is right now...) I'd estimate we'd lose 5-10% of our staff by or before the deadline. (I don't necessarily agree with these people re: the vaccine, but I would certainly have a different opinion of management if they try to pull this s**t.)

I also suspect that that 10% leans toward older and more senior people, and IMO you can't hire any number of junior devs to replace one.

Time will tell, I suppose.

.NET Foundation boss apologizes for pull request that sparked community row

Simian Surprise

What's wrong with reproducibility?

That's a pretty strong statement!

Is this a joke I don't get, or a criticism I haven't heard yet?

Microsoft's .NET Foundation under fire as resigning board member questions its role

Simian Surprise

> The license changed and that's the reason the foundation can no longer help? It doesn't make any sense to me.

I'm actually with MSFT/.NET Foundation on this one... Changing your license to a non-open-source one would get *me* to stop wanting to support your project were I on the board of a foundation meant to promote open-source software.

And no, the RPL is proprietary source-available software pretending to be open source. Part of the definition (OSI) of an OSS license is that "7) [it does] not restrict anyone from making use of the program in a specific field of endeavor. For example, it may not restrict the program from being used in a business..."

So yeah, plenty of good criticisms, not this one, though.

Scientists took cues from helicopter seeds to invent tiny microchips that float on wind

Simian Surprise

Did someone say microchips?

This'll come in handy to get the microchips into anyone they can't convince to get the vaccine...

And now for something completely different: A lightweight, fast browser that won't slurp your data

Simian Surprise

Re: Not Free

Well yeah, of course, how else can you get any content to show up on the page? Going by modern web pages, I'm pretty sure it's impossible.

Why make games for Linux if they don't sell? Because the nerds are just grateful to get something that works

Simian Surprise

Re: Games in Java?

It was fast enough for Minecraft a decade ago, and it's not getting slower... The biggest concern is probably GC latency, but they're focusing on low-latency GC so I don't see any reason not to use Java (unless, of course, you're concerned that bytecode is too easy to decompile...)

This product is terrible. Can you deliver it in 20 years’ time when it becomes popular?

Simian Surprise

Re: 12 inch CDs?

Why would I want a steel needle, if I could only play one thing with it?

Tim Cook 'killed' TV project about the one website Apple hates more than The Register

Simian Surprise
Black Helicopters

Re: why would they care

Well, Palantir is a company that makes a lot of its revenue from contracts with the U.S. Federal government, and many supporters of the sorts of (para-)military and surveillance programs that Palantir "help" with are also deeply conservative Christians* of the "burn the gays!" ilk.

Sounds likely to be (at least partially) a PR concern.

Which, shoot, do I need to be concerned now? (See icon.)

* not to paint all Christians with this brush, of course.

Christmas comes early for chameleons: SUSE feels jolly after closing Rancher deal

Simian Surprise

Re: At least the commenters are always grammatically perfect.

Nah, that's what I meant; see the icon...

Simian Surprise

Re: Odds bodkins!

I could care less about k8s but that subtitle baited me straight to the comments to see if anyone had homed in on this egregious word crime. It really begs the question of what kind of people El Reg is willing to hire as editors. These aren't weird and obtuse rules and their easy to utilize properly. A serious publication, for all intensive purposes, should be able to do that.

At least the commenters are always grammatically perfect.

Compsci guru wants 'right to be forgotten' for old email, urges Google and friends to expire, reveal crypto-keys

Simian Surprise

Re: What you are effectively saying is ...

Nah, what I want is to be able to say "who I was in the past, *irrespective of what I did*, is no longer exactly who I am after a decade or whatever of experience and personal improvement".

People make mistakes, yo. If you don't let them outlive their mistakes, you don't give them any reason to improve themselves.

Google reCAPTCHA service under the microscope: Questions raised over privacy promises, cookie use

Simian Surprise


Anyone here remember when reCAPTCHA was an independent service and the answers used for book digitizing?

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Trump's official campaign website vandalized by hackers who 'had enough of the President's fake news'

Simian Surprise

Re: quality hires

Doesn't say *what* they're the best at...

Hackers rummaged about in Finnish psychotherapy clinic – now patients extorted with public data dump threats

Simian Surprise

Re: Confuse I be

Look, if I'm going to go to a therapist to get help with my hedgehog fetish, I sure hope they just keep my notes in a filing cabinet somewhere (disused lavatory?) and don't type/scan them into some database. Sure, someone can physically break in to the filing cabinet, and the files can be lost in a fire or whatever, but I have a hard time imagining what the benefit of computerization here is. (Also, as the stereotype goes, no one else can even read the doctor's handwriting.)

Fintech biz Wirecard folds into insolvency like two pair against a flush. Good luck accessing your chip stack

Simian Surprise

Re: That's a shame

Unfortunately, it's "schadenfreude".

Features vs compatibility: Google Chrome team promises more 'rigour', but what does that mean?

Simian Surprise

Does this work?

Slightly OT, but does this do anything at all other than anger users? Us techies notice when the default browser changes from our favorite, but my parents even complain when Chrome themes itself slightly differently, let alone morphs into a completely different browser.

How do you run a military court over Zoom? With 28 bullet points and a ceremonial laptop flunkey, of course!

Simian Surprise

I hope that while the laptop is removed and the court is deliberating, the court administrator asks the attorneys "So, how are you feeling about your chances?", Jesse Thorn style.

DevOps to DevOops: Docker Hub proves so secure that 430 Docker images out of 2,500 have no vulnerabilities

Simian Surprise

> The worst offender is the jackson-databind-2.4.0 package...

IIRC 2.4 is pretty old (for the modern software release cadence) and is known to be an insecure pile of trouble. In fairness to Tatu and company newer versions are more secure. It seems a bit disingenuous to point at such packages and say "oh no, insecure code!".

GitHub to replace master with main across its services

Simian Surprise

Re: wow

> Take the word "manhunt"

No, we say Most Dangerous Game these days (MDG for short).

Bloke rolls up to KFC drive-thru riding horse-drawn cart only to be told: Neigh

Simian Surprise

Ugh, don't get me started on the smell of church bells ringing.

Count how many times the Feds checked Chinese telcos in America weren't spying. Only one hand needed

Simian Surprise

Re: Not really news

What? No! That's really dangerous.

You're supposed to inject it!

Tech won't save you from lockdown disaster: How to manage family and free time while working from home

Simian Surprise

> almost any email with the word “coronavirus” in the title that isn’t from your boss or HR can be deleted.

Nah, the ones from HR can be, too. Great time to think up new "policies".

If it's important enough they'll tell your boss...

Bad news: Coronavirus is spreading rapidly across the world. Good news: Nitrogen dioxide levels are decreasing and the air on Earth is cleaner

Simian Surprise

Pulmonary surfactant–biomimetic nanoparticles potentiate heterosubtypic influenza immunity

You can tell it's real science because no word is shorter than 8 characters long.

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution

Simian Surprise

Re: Yesterday

> Skype for business works well enough for most.

That's how you know he's a BOFH.

Deliveroo UK adds 'Don't interact with the help' option for when ordering a burger

Simian Surprise

Over the phone, you say?

Like at the Bath Green Health Centre? (this part, at least, arguably SFW)

Let's Encrypt? Let's revoke 3 million HTTPS certificates on Wednesday, more like: Check code loop blunder strikes

Simian Surprise


"The proximate cause of the bug was a common mistake: Go..."

Take it Huawei, Pai: Senate passes bill to rip 'dodgy' kit from rural telcos

Simian Surprise

Re: Managed by the FCC

> the government pays for it.

With whose money, again?

At last, the fix no one asked for: Portable home directories merged into systemd

Simian Surprise

Re: Jeez

> Anybody who notices the lack of sh can easily install it

It's not about not having /bin/sh! It's about systems which have *a* /bin/sh that *isn't* bash. All that POSIX requires is that it implements the POSIX shell as specified. Some distros use bash, some distros use dash, some use a stripped-down shell that only supports what POSIX needs.

The problem is software which assumes that you can write bash-isms and then run them with sh. If the script starts with #!/usr/bin/env bash" or something, then the user can install b"ash as needed. If it starts with #!/bin/sh then it won't work on non-bash-native platforms at all.

And if you turn to your left, you can see the walls of Amazon Web Services' vast server farm. And next to it, a gift shop and visitor center

Simian Surprise

Re: We've made prime delivery faster.

> I recently bought some hand sanitizers ... I could choose the exact flavour I wanted

... are these the kind you drink?

From WordPad to WordAds: Microsoft caught sneaking nagging Office promos into venerable text editor beta

Simian Surprise

> Ad-averse, privacy-focused Windows fans may be inspired to try Windows 10 Enterprise LTSC

Ad-averse, privacy-focused Windows fans may be inspired to make this the year of Linux on the desktop?

Alan Turing’s OBE medal, PhD cert, other missing items found in super-fan’s Colorado home by agents, says US govt

Simian Surprise
Big Brother

Re: The Way We Live Now

> ... US Homeland Security agents raided her house ...

Why DHS though? Surely this is a criminal matter at best (although they apparently proceeded with a civil complaint to recover the stolen property) so within the bailiwick of Department of Justice?

All I can come up with is that Turing's papers somehow contain the secret to breaking all elliptic-curve cryptography despite it not having been invented yet.

You're not Boeing to believe this: Yet another show-stopping software bug found in ill-fated 737 Max airplanes

Simian Surprise

It's more like a few years after release, unless somehow this is yet another new piece of 737MAX software.

Microsoft's on Edge and you could be, too: Chromium-based browser exits beta – with teething problems

Simian Surprise

Re: "Basic, Balanced, and Strict"

Every browser has a "History" feature, no?

Problems at Oracle's DynDNS: Domain registration customers transferred at short notice, nameserver records changed

Simian Surprise

Re: Idiots

This isn't a .com website.

We’ve had enough of your beach-blocking shenanigans, California tells stubborn Sun co-founder: Kiss our lawsuit

Simian Surprise

U.S. Constitution says what?

> the US Constitution precludes the government from simply taking private property and giving it to the public

-- The Shill

> ... nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

-- The Fifth Amendment

I guess he forgot about that last bit. They do have to pay for it, though.

5G signals won't make men infertile, sighs UK ad watchdog as it bans bonkers scary poster

Simian Surprise

Re: Report on Experimental Results

You're thinking of Hal Incandenza.