* Posts by Simian Surprise

23 posts • joined 8 Jan 2020

Fintech biz Wirecard folds into insolvency like two pair against a flush. Good luck accessing your chip stack

Simian Surprise

Re: That's a shame

Unfortunately, it's "schadenfreude".

Features vs compatibility: Google Chrome team promises more 'rigour', but what does that mean?

Simian Surprise

Does this work?

Slightly OT, but does this do anything at all other than anger users? Us techies notice when the default browser changes from our favorite, but my parents even complain when Chrome themes itself slightly differently, let alone morphs into a completely different browser.

How do you run a military court over Zoom? With 28 bullet points and a ceremonial laptop flunkey, of course!

Simian Surprise

I hope that while the laptop is removed and the court is deliberating, the court administrator asks the attorneys "So, how are you feeling about your chances?", Jesse Thorn style.

DevOps to DevOops: Docker Hub proves so secure that 430 Docker images out of 2,500 have no vulnerabilities

Simian Surprise

> The worst offender is the jackson-databind-2.4.0 package...

IIRC 2.4 is pretty old (for the modern software release cadence) and is known to be an insecure pile of trouble. In fairness to Tatu and company newer versions are more secure. It seems a bit disingenuous to point at such packages and say "oh no, insecure code!".

GitHub to replace master with main across its services

Simian Surprise

Re: wow

> Take the word "manhunt"

No, we say Most Dangerous Game these days (MDG for short).

Bloke rolls up to KFC drive-thru riding horse-drawn cart only to be told: Neigh

Simian Surprise

Ugh, don't get me started on the smell of church bells ringing.

Count how many times the Feds checked Chinese telcos in America weren't spying. Only one hand needed

Simian Surprise
Joke

Re: Not really news

What? No! That's really dangerous.

You're supposed to inject it!

UK enters almost-lockdown: Brits urged to keep calm and carry on – as long as it doesn't involve leaving the house

Simian Surprise
Big Brother

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

Oh cool, using mental-hygiene laws to punish dissidents. "If you were sane, you'd agree with us, so obviously you're nutso and a danger to yourself/others. Loony bin with you!"

Yes, sounds like the sort of thing a modern democratic state does.

Tech won't save you from lockdown disaster: How to manage family and free time while working from home

Simian Surprise
Terminator

> almost any email with the word “coronavirus” in the title that isn’t from your boss or HR can be deleted.

Nah, the ones from HR can be, too. Great time to think up new "policies".

If it's important enough they'll tell your boss...

Bad news: Coronavirus is spreading rapidly across the world. Good news: Nitrogen dioxide levels are decreasing and the air on Earth is cleaner

Simian Surprise

Pulmonary surfactant–biomimetic nanoparticles potentiate heterosubtypic influenza immunity

You can tell it's real science because no word is shorter than 8 characters long.

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution

Simian Surprise

Re: Yesterday

> Skype for business works well enough for most.

That's how you know he's a BOFH.

Deliveroo UK adds 'Don't interact with the help' option for when ordering a burger

Simian Surprise

Over the phone, you say?

Like at the Bath Green Health Centre? (this part, at least, arguably SFW)

Let's Encrypt? Let's revoke 3 million HTTPS certificates on Wednesday, more like: Check code loop blunder strikes

Simian Surprise
Facepalm

FTFY

"The proximate cause of the bug was a common mistake: Go..."

Take it Huawei, Pai: Senate passes bill to rip 'dodgy' kit from rural telcos

Simian Surprise

Re: Managed by the FCC

> the government pays for it.

With whose money, again?

At last, the fix no one asked for: Portable home directories merged into systemd

Simian Surprise

Re: Jeez

> Anybody who notices the lack of sh can easily install it

It's not about not having /bin/sh! It's about systems which have *a* /bin/sh that *isn't* bash. All that POSIX requires is that it implements the POSIX shell as specified. Some distros use bash, some distros use dash, some use a stripped-down shell that only supports what POSIX needs.

The problem is software which assumes that you can write bash-isms and then run them with sh. If the script starts with #!/usr/bin/env bash" or something, then the user can install b"ash as needed. If it starts with #!/bin/sh then it won't work on non-bash-native platforms at all.

And if you turn to your left, you can see the walls of Amazon Web Services' vast server farm. And next to it, a gift shop and visitor center

Simian Surprise

Re: We've made prime delivery faster.

> I recently bought some hand sanitizers ... I could choose the exact flavour I wanted

... are these the kind you drink?

From WordPad to WordAds: Microsoft caught sneaking nagging Office promos into venerable text editor beta

Simian Surprise
Linux

> Ad-averse, privacy-focused Windows fans may be inspired to try Windows 10 Enterprise LTSC

Ad-averse, privacy-focused Windows fans may be inspired to make this the year of Linux on the desktop?

Alan Turing’s OBE medal, PhD cert, other missing items found in super-fan’s Colorado home by agents, says US govt

Simian Surprise
Big Brother

Re: The Way We Live Now

> ... US Homeland Security agents raided her house ...

Why DHS though? Surely this is a criminal matter at best (although they apparently proceeded with a civil complaint to recover the stolen property) so within the bailiwick of Department of Justice?

All I can come up with is that Turing's papers somehow contain the secret to breaking all elliptic-curve cryptography despite it not having been invented yet.

You're not Boeing to believe this: Yet another show-stopping software bug found in ill-fated 737 Max airplanes

Simian Surprise

It's more like a few years after release, unless somehow this is yet another new piece of 737MAX software.

Microsoft's on Edge and you could be, too: Chromium-based browser exits beta – with teething problems

Simian Surprise

Re: "Basic, Balanced, and Strict"

Every browser has a "History" feature, no?

Problems at Oracle's DynDNS: Domain registration customers transferred at short notice, nameserver records changed

Simian Surprise
Headmaster

Re: Idiots

This isn't a .com website.

We’ve had enough of your beach-blocking shenanigans, California tells stubborn Sun co-founder: Kiss our lawsuit

Simian Surprise

U.S. Constitution says what?

> the US Constitution precludes the government from simply taking private property and giving it to the public

-- The Shill

> ... nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

-- The Fifth Amendment

I guess he forgot about that last bit. They do have to pay for it, though.

5G signals won't make men infertile, sighs UK ad watchdog as it bans bonkers scary poster

Simian Surprise

Re: Report on Experimental Results

You're thinking of Hal Incandenza.

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