Posts by s. pam

Online pharmacy slapped with £130,000 fine for flogging customer data

So what happens?

If you've actually bought something from these c-nuts? I bought some stop smoking thingies from them. So are my personal details out in the wild, and if so what's my reward?

Seems to me a years free Experian would be a good start!

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

No Carly, you cannot make the other Presidential debaters wear those!

Good news: Adobe bangs out Flash patch fast. Bad news: Google's defenses were useless

Flash is a diorhea that just won't end

Would someone PLEASE PUT Adobe out of our misery?

Fingerprints, facial scans, EU border data slurp too tasty for French to resist

Phuck Off Phrenchy!

This smells worse than 5yr old toe or navel cheese and just goes to show why France is where all the illegals should be locked *into*.

Sacre Bleu what idiots they are! Cloud Cuckoo land is ringing!

Adobe to brick eight Acrobat, Reader flaws next Tuesday

How about they shitcan that fucking Flash ?

Flash is the real hole into hell from them and must be cancelled as a product now and put out of our misery.

They should get a clue that the BROWSERS are now blocking it and shitcan it now!

Flash is Trash - friends don't let friends have Flash on their computers!

BBC joins war against Flash, launches beta HTML5 iPlayer

It took them fucking long enough

"Flash is Trash" has been the slogan of many for 10 years yet Auntie desperately clinged onto the Ebola Virus of animation. One would have to think Auntie had a sweetheart deal with the vendor or something, the way they've clinged onto clunker technology.

Then it was, *gasp*, Air which was like a root canal done via your back passage with no nitrous oxide. Flaky, bug ridden, constantly crashing bag of bits.

Auntie needs to have a lot of their Techies sacked and get Standards knowledgeable programmers onboard before the firm is so irrelevant.

Bill Bailey: The man, the musician, the comic, the troll, the legend

Wrong wrong wrong El Reg!

We saw Bill Bailey perform live last week in Maidenhead - he's already on tour.

Sadly he used some recycled bits and is still working out what might be funny. We were a bit disappointed having seen him quite a fe times.

Caveat Emptor.

PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

Is Morrissey in d'hood?

People

Eating

Tasty

Animals

Pissed-Off

Egalitarian

Tossers

Assholes

Are so full of crap it is truly sickening. They're almost the lowest form of life, or is that Solicitors & Accountants? It is so hard to tell!

South Korea to NUKE Microsoft ActiveX

Can we get them to NUKE FLASH while they're at it?

In the name of things deserving to DIE DIE DIE, please fucking kill off Adobe Flash whilst you're at it South Korea.

Extra Kim Yum Yum points if you do!

Adobe patches Flash dirty dozen, ignores 155 in Shockwave shocker

Would someone FUCKING KILL off Flash?

For the love of all things holy, even MSFT killed off insecure rubbish (although consumers/companies ignored them).

Flash is the Ebola Virus of the Internet!

Rackspace looks to have bypassed vCloud Director upgrade

vClud Director is almost as fucked up as vSphere Web Client

As someone who has sat, pounding my head onto a spike for hours with vCD I can assure you that ANYTHING (including a root canal w/o anaesthetic done from my back passage) would be a welcome break. vCD in my experience is a kludgy, browser malviolent application that also boasts Java as one of its sins. Add to it vCloud Air in the mix and misadventures explode logarithmicly for the amount of inconsistency and pain one must endure.

I wish anyone entering this market well -- it desperately needs better tools.

Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

EU regulators cower in fear over latest Google search extensions

Should all Europeans be able to watch Estonian football? Consultation launched

Just buy a damn Freesat box and be done with it!

Go to electronics store.

Buy Freesat box.

Point at appropriate satellite.

Fine tune.

Job well done.

Carders fleece $4.2 million from Victoria's MyKi transport agency

Nah, don't pay them that's the game!

I used to commute from Sydney to Melbourne regularly to visit customers. I never paid, and did so having learned it was only AU$10 fine (£4-5) if you got caught. Given there were never any ticket checkers, the easy part was to just jump off at a stop if you saw them getting on.

Melbournians are well versed in this game -- only tourists and overseas visitors and mugs pay on their system.

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Southern biscuits and gravy

A fine staple of hangovers in the Southern USA....

add Chicken Fried Steak, Hash Browns and 2 Eggs scrambled and even your WORST Tequila hangover will be gone!

When I get to go to Texas I look forward to Biscuits & Gravy. My English wife says it looks like baby puke on scones, but who gives a fsck!

Help! Our Virgin Media TiVo boxes are stuck in a loop! Help! Our Virgin..

Re: Oddly enough

It's been shitting all over itself for the last 3 days in Area 31 where we live, hiccup, burp, fart, puke then fine for a while the rinse & repeat cycle. Makes working from home awfully fucking hard.

Must go back to garden and trim flowers !!

Google, Adobe barricade Flash against hacker hordes – we peek inside

You cannot make a Turd, White....and Adobe needs to delete the App!!

To: Adobe Execs

Subject: Flash needs to be eradicated

Dear Execs,

All of us in the InfoSec circles, our 80++ year old parents know it, why don't you?

Adobe Flash is one giant, sucking black hole of back doors and must die.

Signed,

The users of machines expecting a modicum of security.

Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

Why doesn't the press catch on - Auntie is telling Porkies

Anyone not in the UK pays a fee NOW to Auntie to use iPrayer in other countries and gas girl a while now! So the Bleeb already has the technological and the ability and the know how.

Sounds like more luvvie pork barrel dosh about to be flushed in the Loo!!!

It's 2015 and VMware tools break VMs if you open two browser tabs

vCloud Director has it even worse!

login to vCloud air, click yo launch vCloud Director, watch it puck wanting Flash, install Flash, instant disaster. You've got no choice unless you kill the vca window, it'll fail too but not every time. It just fails when you don't need it to!

North America down to its last ~130,000 IPv4 addresses

I know where at least 3 Class B's not being used may be

But ARIN is run by idiots just line other groups and given they NEVER go back and force network numbers users to PROVE they're using them, they'll never get these back.

If I know where 3 Class B's are, and a few dozen CIDR blocks (as I applied, and received them back in the 80's/90's) you can damn sure bet there's a fuckload more out there.

Apple Music: First three months for free? We lasted less than 3 hours

Bad seed Apple

I'll stick with TuneIn Radio thanks very much...!

Subaru Outback Lineartronic: The thinking person’s 4x4

XV velly cheap = velly bad, buy a Firester!

We drove a 64 reg XV and a 64 reg Forester and bought the Forester. The XV back seat I kept hitting my head on the roof and it felt cheap & plastic. The Forester felt solid and we negotiated a good deal with a dealer in the countryside that helped immensely

Subaru knows the correct lanes as well!

We are on our 2nd Subaru now, with the 1st being a 2010 WRX which was awesome, but sucked petrol like a prostitute in Amsterdam when the ships come in....

Now driving a '64 reg Forester diesel manual - and thus is important!

Sister in law had a '62 registered Outback, automatic transmission packed it in and a £5,500 bill for a new one. Turns out like Volvo and Audi & others, the multi-clutch automatic transmission is a FRU- in fail midrange, not fixable, replace true whole bloody thing. We had that happen on a '58 reg Volvo V50 and TADTS, £5,500 please!

Moral: regardless of model, get a manual! Btw, we get almost 48+ mpg on the motorway at 80+ :)

Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

O2's support staff are rubbish

as a business and private customer O2 is quickly falling into the sewers so fast it serves them right to be outsourced to a Tandoori Helpless Desk...utterly hopeless, argumentative and feckless.

Chrome on Mac sucks (electrons), says Google, so we'll fix it

Hey Google, how about fixing all the crashes on iOS 8.* whilst you're at it?

Chrome has been renamed to Choke on our iPhones and iPads at $HOME it has become a joke of who can have more crashes in a single evening!

There was a time our favourite game was spot the recycled TV star on another programme, but that's been replaced with "Oops, Choked, again" is the battle cry.

Sad really -- all that opportunity and this is what you get.

PS> I wish there was a Blues Brothers Rubber Biscuit Icon El Reg!!!!!

Apple brews new News news to peruse - screws news dudes

Newsstand isn't fit to wrap F&C in

Newsstand has to be the second biggest pile of shite Apple has ever released! It is an appalling Jackboots and Jodhpurs overkill approach to something that should be dead-simple: Show me the magazine/newspaper I have a bloody subscription to. Instead it's yet another memory hogging p-i-g that I have to click through to read.

Good bye to bad SW and I'm not convinced that "News" or whatever the fsck they'll call the new thing will be any better!

Caterham 270S: The automotive equivalent of crack

Far too little horsepower for the money!

Pah.

My 200Bhp Caterham is for sale, for less money!!!

You could have far more smiles and an insanely fast Caterham SV with the VHPD racing engine for less or equal dosh with a load of spare bits and bobs. Go onto blatchat dot com and search for "2002 SV VHPD For Sale" and you'll get one heck of a deal!

Aw, snap! How huge HTML links can crash Chrome tabs in one click

Chrome has become a steaming pile of shite

On iOS you can crash Chrome just going to some pages on the Telegraph and Guardian websites that are normal pages. British airways website as well can kill Chrome, so it's not just drive-boy's but shitty code from the Chrome developers in general.

I've been filing bug and crash reports for 14 months and no reply..

Snoopers' Charter queen Theresa May returns to Home Office brief

Jackboots and Jodhpurs anyone?

Teflon Theresa in charge is like letting a paedophile protect a playground. She's so seriously done SFA for the UK in terms of protecting our borders I think with her at the reins we'll all be heading to Valhalla very shortly.

She's clueless and needs to go home to Maidenhead!

18-wheeler robot juggernaut hits Nevada's highways. Cower, fleshies!

Hasn't anyone ever seen "Duel"

FFS, that movie still sends shivers up me spine to this very day!

Add in autonomous operations and you've got a recipe for a Sci-Fi movie from hell a'brewing!

Range Rover Sport: Like a cathedral on wheels, only with comfier pews

You also cannot take it over Marlow Bridge (even if you're a Yummy Mummy)

The funny thing is all the Yummy Mummy Brigade in Marlow are all up in arms crying into their White Wine that they get tickets for taking RR's over the bridge as they're 1/2 tonne too heavy.

The vehicle is heavier than a WW I Sherman Tank and will earn the owner s £120 / 6 penalty point fine if you happen to get caught on the bridge in the background driving over it.

The pictures were obviously shot at the very trendy Compleat Angler in Marlow by the wier.

David Cameron 'guarantees' action on mobe not-spots. Honest

How about making them pay their £9 Billion in taxes due too Dave-O?

I honestly gave up 10 years ago thinking we would ever be as advanced as India for mobile telephony here in the 4th world.

Damnit make the Mobile providers pay their taxes Dave and the government can give the coverage for free!

NatWest and RBS' mobile banking apps go TITSUP

A great opportunity again to....

FLEECE the mugs, ahem, us lot as taxpayers in a desperate bid for more taxes to bail out their fecked up IT department will be forthcoming on the Beeb news at 1800?

Will they blame hackers for the outage, I'd say the odds favour it.

Lib Dems wheel out Digital Rights Bill pledge as election sweetener

Uh, they're part of the fscked up mess NOW!

How dare they carrot dangle something like this given Cluck's been part of the whole spy game in bed with Camoron!

National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

Think of them as a big I.U.D. and you'd not be wrong

They look like giant birth control devices, and perhaps should be used in areas where the Green Party is particularly active

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Deep-fried cheesy Hungarian

Yuck, but here are some KILLERS.....

Here's some shit that'll cause you to immediately need a defibrulator:

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/gallery/2015/apr/06/meat-cheese-and-lots-of-calories-mlb-stadium-foods-in-pictures

Volvo V60 Polestar: Speak softly, carry a big stick, dress like a Smurf

Transmission from hell car that will eat your wallet!

We had a 2008 Vulva and to say the DSG gearboxes are shit is a terrible understatement. The car is pleasant enough to drive if you're over 50 and happy wearing your flat cap but has NO street credibility.

When the gearbox started acting up our local Vulva dealer in M'head said "That'll be £5,500 please". I spit my fucking dummy out, and he explained "The DSG gearbox only have 1 failure mode due to them being chain driven continuously and that is completely replace the entire gearbox".

Search t'web and you'll find plenty of message boards with complaints -- Vulva knows all about this and laughs all the way to the bank with every sucker who buys one.

++++++

Pleased to say we were able to sell it and replaced it with a absolutely reliable Subaru Forester that's the bees knees without all the stupid bells & whistles. No hassle, no mess, no fuss and NO £5,500 bills!

David Cameron's Passport number emailed to footy-head

What a choke!

So the end user deleted the email - what about the Email Archive and the Exchange logs?

I suspect if they did a real search, it is probably available on an #IRC channel now!

Frayed British Airways plays down mega hack attack on frequent flyer accounts

Typical B.A. Bullhockey

They've continued to screw Exec Club members for the last several years making our miles worth less, and making it harder and harder to use them for a flight or upgrade.

I guess it sort of makes sense, hey-ho blame the hackers your miles are now gone. Too bad!

Netflix: Look folks, it's net neutrality... HA, fooled you

Still doesn't mean Netflix are scum!

They block my IP's to my legitimate host when I travel yet feel they can bill me when away.

They block legitimate VPN access when traveling as well.

In fact, unless you like how they Mind Control the content in the country you're in, they just #EpicFail across my baord....

UK spaceport, phase two: Now where do we PUT the bleeding thing?

We put it.....

In yoUranus!

Wasn't that bleedingly obvious El Reg?

BBC bins pricey Windows Media, Audio Factory goes live

Re: And Radio 3 needs to be kicked off FM

Bullshit, there are a lot of us that live in areas that DAB doesn't get to.

Kill off BBC Asia and other rubbish channels!

NOW FUCKING KILL FLASH !!!

BBC get a clue - Flash is the Ebola virus, the HIV virus, and all other virus' in one.

KILL IT NOW, it is 20++ year old, security bug riddled crap.

$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

I'm sure all the UK.Gov / NHS Consulting firms...

Are already ordering them by the container ship load.

Or at least billing for same whilst using a £0.50 one!

Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

die another day...

If it looks like a turd, and smells like a....

Just like the OS discussed in the movie "it'll be bug ridden, flaky, crash randomly and require upgrades for years to come."

Well done Redmond then!

Gigabit-over-TV-cable spec DOCSIS 3.1 passes interop test

Virgin will never deliver it, they can't even run the DNS properly

To err is human, to totally fsck up requires Virgin so this will never happen with them.

After all they can't even run the DNS right, nor give customers the ability to do so themselves.

Internet RFC overseer snubs ICANN and co's web power grab offer

NetMundial have to be a group of feckwits of epic proportions if they believe they got agreement.

Beware the brown paper -- the brown acid is bad!

Google Chrome on Windows 'completely unusable', gripe users

It's currently shit on iOS 8.1 !!!!!

what an absolutely flakier than my ex-wife's morals piece of shit it is on iOS 8.1.1

Constantly unpredictably crashing

About to have to use Safari again it's sooooooooo baaaaaaaadddddddd!

A WHOPPING 8 million Windows Server 2003 systems still out there

more than 2/3rds of banks sill on it &/or 2000

i shit you not if you could see what old carp your bank is using you'd go back to hiding money !!!

The fact the writer doesn't investigate is why companies fed it cheaper to pay up to almost 100% per year original server cost just to get custom one-off patch support from MSFT. That's the cash cow disaster being outsourced to the lowest cost country to provide marginal programmers to have at someone's code they have no idea about the original MSFT monkeys intentions...

Rosetta science team thinks Philae might come to life in the spring

I want some shirts

like Dr Matt Taylor's shirts !!!

Awesome to have geekiness dressed so well and fabulous to have one of arisetta's leaders feeling comfortable and not being a suited & booted PR monkey!!!