Posts by s. pam

Apple has an opportunity to rediscover humanity in its push toward AI

Turn off all Apple AI crap

Easiest decision I've ever made for our fruit based devices here at $HOME. Had already turned off the spyware Siri as it was an annoyance too far. They run better, less bollocks, less threat surfaces exposed!

Sticky-note security turned gym into hall of '80s horrors

Perfect place for NiN!

Shame the consoles weren't taken over by NiN -- that'd have made for amusing crowd watching when "Closer" came on!

UK to spend £15M on AI-powered crime mapping in knife violence crackdown

How about some actual fecking Police on the beat

It Ain't Intelligent to use a computer for what could be stopped if we had ANY actual Police on the beat. Hell Londonberia is so unsafe in parts you'd better wear a stab vest there, though its overlord Sir Kahn (what a fucking joke!!) says remain calm all is safe.

The very rare times we go into Londonberia we leave all valuables, etc at home! Still don't mean we could actually BE safe though!

NHS staff resist using Palantir software

Exactly why we did the Opt-Out form

When our local excuse of a NHS doctors surgery sent us a form in the post did we want our data shared, in “anonymity “ into a new shared data system we ticked the box on the forms NO and hand delivered them back to the surgery to make damn sure they were received. Even though that was a year or two before this steaming clusterfuck was publicly announced it was clear as a data security practitioner the debacle coming,

Hell the NHS can’t even share data between most of their trusts still! Case in point: was admitted to A&E in Berkshire, then in a ward at a hospital there for 10 days then discharged with 17(!!) pages of paperwork. I asked why and they said “because you live in Buckinghamshire we aren’t able to share data between us & their NHS! So that meant SWMBO had to trudge to our GP surgery with all the paperwork (after we made a safety copy!) to get it onto Buckinghamshires system.

F

F

S

Many in England are totally unaware that of the 20++ NHS trusts only 5-6 have the capability to share which leaves me to extreme frustration of where the hell has all the money gone!!

UK government admits Capita pension portal was crapita at launch

Re: Diminutive

Perhaps Crapether would also work?

Calling out corporate BS? There's a steaming pile to aim for

Pick the consulting firm, enjoy their particular bullshit bingo dictonary!

Each one of McKinsey, PWC, TCS, and Crapita have their own BS generating divisions.

Woe be the employee in any company these asshats are deployed into if you get their BS dictionaries wrong and say the other firms' word to them!

Enter the Human Remains department to inflict strict summary punishments!

Atlassian to shed ten percent of staff, because AI

The enshitification will continue

Until what little morale they have is totally flushed! Couldn't happen to a more arrogant bunch of to$$ers IMNSHO!

Enjoy robotifcating whilst your license revenue tanks faster than Bonnie Blue takes punters in!

Atlassian built a tool to migrate Jira users to the cloud and it made the move slower

Re: Jira

Pointless raising bugs or enhancement requests to them, they're bitbucketed and even if you get arsey at renewal time they only pay lip service to "we'll look at them" which means your requests will be redirected to /dev/null!

Epic fail on their part

Before I retired last year I worked in a British company acquired by an 'Mercan company. We happily used 3 instances of Jira and had built a huge number of automated processes, notifications and the like very successfully integrating it. When we were bought, the 'Mercan company (mis)used Teams, a seriously defective tool and tried to force us onto it. Migration was a bloody nightmare -- only 1 of the 3 worked, took >30 days to migrate, Jira versions couldn't be merged and our France site (company we had acquired) was still on Enterprise on-site HW version that could'nt be migrated at all. The only "Gain" per se was Atlassian took a LOT more license revenue for not a lot of value in their Cludy product from us!

So our Mac's had at least 2 Jira instances if you were on the British installation, France was screwed (so we couldn't easily chat to them unless we opened the 2nd instance) and then the festering turd of Teams was still hanging around. Teams was a huge sore point for both the 'Mercan management/employees as we used Jira and those of us who were leaders of th British company were forced onto using it IN ADDITION TO the 2 Jira instances.

Clusterfuck is an understatement for the situation, so very glad for a nice redundancy check on my way out and no idea if the mess ever got fixed.

Side note: a number of folks in the 'Mercan company were clandestinely using Jira which accidentally got "leaked" to their leadership, oops!

Royal Navy races to arm ships against drone threat

Arming them against, what, Union Drone strikes?

Th @£$%^ ships are either in dry dock, awaiting parts, or so understaffed they can't even set out to sea. Embarrassing as fsck when the French are offering support / protection that our own damn ships are not safe.

Better keep em here, perhaps then they'll be fixed and protected from LIEbour's drone army which is hellbent on destroying the UK as we know it!

Anthropic sues US government after unprecedented national security designation

"Attempt to ignore the US Constitution" -- WTAF?

Funny how the Orange Deranged Taco seems to have no apparent problem ignoring the US Constitution or the US Bill of Rights, or US SCOTUS orders, etc isn't it?

Clearly Operation Epstein (or, where did I hide all the teenage girls' sausages) is being played out whilst Gilead is living up the the 1930's Germany logic!

UK watchdog eyes Meta's smart glasses after workers say they 'see everything'

Make Everything Totally Awful

Doesn't anyone else know what Meta stands for?

No privacy

No security

No guardrails

No....

Microsoft Copilot to hijack your browser... for your own convenience

TURN IT OFF

They tried to ram this down our throat on Macs when I still had a job.

Easily defeated, just say NO to M$FT browsers!

Capita's £370M Whitehall outsourcing deal challenged as 'abnormally low'

Crapita, need we say more?

Every single time their name comes up it usually is with a nasty aftersmell. In that case, aftersmell = either whopping B-I-G extra bill, &/or services degraded so badly they've been sacked!

In a world of Epicfails, they've gotta be either #1 or 2, right behind TCS!

AWS says drones hit two of its datacenters in UAE, urges users to move resources to different regions

How will AWS deal with data residency laws in those countries?

Many middle eastern countries have stiff fines with legislation with real teeth that their data can either not reside in an offsite/cloud or must only reside at a data centre in that country.

So when the inevitble bombs start dropping from Iran what they gonna do -- call uncle orange taco for help?

CIOs say AI adoption is moving faster than they can manage

I'm sorry Dave...

A truly HaL9000 moment is fast approaching with no guardrails and no audit trail.

CIOs are so bending over to their boards and saying "we've got a large number of AI programmes in progress" to do nothing more than appear responsive to said boards' not wanting to get left behind they've zero clue what the outcome will be.

All customers want is working systems & software, the bollocks of AI causing more pain and suffering is the least on their minds. After all who will be to blame when the Bots write crappy code, it fails and either causes loss of lives, or financial meltdowns?

50 GW of datacenter demand queues up for UK grid access

BaconEd Millibrain to their rescue

Let Mr. Nut Zero build them power, funded by and solely for them then!

Immediately followed 0.2s after he is sacked from his job for non-delivery of a £300 savings for every UK household!

Jack Dorsey’s fintech outfit Block announces 40% layoffs, blames AI, gets 23% stock bump

CEOs/CFOs are now in their corners drooling

Dump 40% of your staff, receive a 27% stock price rise, who’d a’thunk it? I bet there’s quite a few CEO/CFO thinking today “hmm, would it work here” as a result of Dorsey’s move!

PS> Fuckyou Dorsey from an ex-programmer!

Microsoft teases ‘reimagined SharePoint experience’ with added AI

$scarepoint $sucks

So very glad I'm +1yr retired so I never ever have to deal with that fetid excuse for a network share app again! At my last job the CIO signed a mega-deal with M$FT and decreed network shares (incl: NFS) were dead and everything had to be moved to $carepoint. Little did he know that the IT HelpLESS folks never used it, so when all the Windows shares were forcibly moved to it, their default was to completely LOCK DOWN all permissions on 26 Dec (as they were in India they didn't have a fecking clue) what chaos ensued on 3 Jan when folks returned.

THREE months of LOST productivity for 10s of thousands of employees then happened. Enough said, I f*cking hate $carepoint!

ICE watchers say agents used software to threaten and follow them home

The ICEstapo won't stop

Until their Fuehrer declares there's no one except WASPs left in the USA...! Using Technology to eliminate your adversaries just shows how low Gilead has sunk!

--

Exactly why we will NOT travel there - There's plenty of far SAFER and far more interesting places devoid of the lunacy Gilead is now known for! To be crystal clear: we are purposely NOT visiting Gilead and will continue to NOT visit as long as the debacle of UNleadership continues! Hoping that the country will see unemployment of those in the industry reliant on tourist spending which is unfortunate however you count it. The reputation of the place is in tatters, ICEstapo is not the only factor as their supposed king believes only he is in charge of everyone. Shooting your citizens, and turning the country into Gilead isn't a place we choose to spend our hard earned.

Palantir declares itself the guardian of Americans' rights

Dear Alex, go **ck off

And go play with your DOGEy buddy Musk whilst you suck up King Orange Psychopath in Gilead!

UK names Barnsley as first Tech Town to see whether AI can fix... well, anything

Poor old Scunthorpe

Imagine the Ain't Intelligent AI jokes that could've come from placing it there! Epic fail by Stammer & Co yet again...

Social Security Administration admits it underreported DOGE dirty dealings

Nothing will come of this as long as King Orange Taco is in charge!

It is clear you can do basically any crime, of any severity and either receive no jail, or your sentence commuted by TACO if you just play up to him!

Hiring at India’s Big Four outsourcers stalls, as AI seemingly makes an impact

Does AI mean "Ain't Indian"?

Had it up to there with the "pig four" Indian outsourcing companies when I still worked, so hope the special plae in hell for them has room for their downfall!

UK gambling regulator accuses Meta of lying about its struggle to spot illegal ads

I'll give you 2,457 reasons why Zuk should be banned/pounded

2.457 is the current number of reports of scam/spam/fraudlent accounts &/or posts I've reported on Insta since last summer.

Not even ONE report has led to any poster being blocked/removed/!

I have now taken a different tact by reporting all £/drug/fake passport (& driving licenses) to the NCA on Insta in the hopes perhaps they'll do something, anything!

UK prime minister stares down barrel of ban on social media for kids

Pork, they need PORK

In a Liz Truss style brain failure, StammeringMron our worst-ever PM will instead flip waffles and pork burgers! He's so dimwitted that instead of doing the mindful and taking the hard decision of actually supporting this legislation he'll go with whatever his group think luvvies tell him to do! Which in the end will NOT protect out children, but instead protect the American tech companies as he's Trump's bitch.

NS&I tech overhaul blows past Treasury spending limits

No Problema, Freddy Kruger from accounts

Will just tax us more to dig them out of their IT hel^ahem hole!

Airbus to migrate critical apps to a sovereign Euro cloud

So when Cloudflare of Snowflake fail

Just whom will stop thousands of planes falling out of the Cloud?

Snowflake update caused a blizzard of failures worldwide

Time to rollout the excuse generator!

This handy tool should keep BOFHs busy forever: https://github.com/donlon/cloudflare-error-page

DVSA's clapped-out booking system gets bot slapped as new boss rides in

So easily solved

Just cancel all web appointments and replace with phone-in appointments only!

BBC tapped to stop Britain being baffled by AI

BBC & AI(ain't intelligent) are a perfect reason

For cancelling your TV License and ridding your home of their insanity! They've as much chance of unbaffling folks as hell not being on fire!

Perhaps they can get Nandy to mandate all benefits claimants must attend all the courses for a free license then!??!

Barely Believable Cretins are so desperate to waste our money it is a final attempt to justify their existance and a100% #EpicFail on their part..

Microsoft research shows chatbots seeping into everyday life

Copilot of dearth

Anytime a MSFT update appears on ANY of our devices I have to turn the damn thing off again! At least with Clippy a once and done got rid of it.

There's some Ain't Intelligence in all of this crap added on that we don't need/want/will never use isn't there?

Poop-peeping toilet attachment has a different definition of 'end-to-end' encryption

E2E in England wouldn't be pretty at the weekend

If it is truly e2e it would record what you eat and what you release from your backdoor. Use AI (ain't intelligent) scanning to detect anal(onomies) and alert the human!

Cloudflare suffers second outage in as many months during routine maintenance

I couldn't give a.....tinker's damn!

Retiring from a 40yr career in tech earlier this year was one thing and then making sure I don't use social media means I'm 99% Cloudflare free!

Here's one way to cut support ticket volume… send them to another company entirely

Worked so well for M&S didn't it?

NOT -- Indian outsourcing firm dressed down and sent out the door as a result of outsourcing the helpLESS desk!

Mind the gap – in mobile coverage: UK train signal to stay patchy till 2030

Perhaps they'll just fix the crappy intercity gaps?

Try driving the A4 between M'head and Reading -- good luck maintaining a call.

Same driving the A30 west of Exeter.

Or the A9 through the Pennines...

Our mobile telephony is so Kevin Bacon here!

Texas man accidentally shoots cable, brings internet down

Its Dove and Quail hunting season in Texas, and now Cable hunting season

Nothing says loving on your table like some cooked birds and a borked Internet connection!

UK Lords take aim at Ofcom's 'child-protection' upgrades to Online Safety Act

Nothing legistators enact will work

It's past a fools paradise when these so-called moral protectors delusionally think they can stop kids.

A couple years ago setup a Chromebook for grandson for his secondary school, and Mother Google saw his age and enacted protections. All that did was inflict countless arguments with him on why he couldn't install X, or Y, or Z. Once he turned 13, Mother Google removed all protections and the arguments ceased as he had unfettered access to everything.

Moral?

None of this crap the luddites try to turn into law works.

Jaguar Land Rover supply chain workers must get Covid-style support, says union

Screw the union!

WTAF?? They should be going after the deep pockets of their employer, and demanding payments from them alone! Why should I, a British taxpayer pay for their apparently piss poor IT security debacle when I don't get compo if my personal security is compromised??

So much for the paperless office: UK government inks £900M deal for printers etc.

Now Print This: What a shit decision!

I can pop down to Skurvies in the UK and buy a decent printer/copier/fax for £50-£70 that will last for years. How the bloody hell many do they need to BLOW £900M on the damn things when almost every office in the last 10+ years seems to only have ONE per floor at best?

I guess you gotta keep the lazy shitforbrains train running eh?

France fines Google, SHEIN for undercooked cookie policies that led to crummy privacy

Smashing Shein and Temu...

Should be banned in the UK and EU just like in Gilead by the Orange Taco sycopant did! Their being blocked in Gilead has only increased their spamming & cookies rate here!

Supermarket giant Tesco sues VMware, warns lack of support could disrupt food supply

Hope they put the screws to VMworst

I've spent some time in a past role in the licensing world and IMHO VMworst hasn't a leg to stand on from a legality perspective! Purchasing a "Perpetual License" is just that -- it is forever though it may have some expensive support tail they own the licenses full stop. Where it could get murky is any Amendments to the license agreement regarding future support but if the articles reference state VMworst has to support for X minimum years + any warranty Tesco have a helluva lot of to stand on here!

The air is hissing out of the overinflated AI balloon

HaL 9000 told you so...

Look, LLMs are just another form of search engine, with rules based interpreters bolted on so nothing new here.

I'm sorry Dave but with all the environmental damage they're causing one would be correct in the opinion they Ain't Intelligent at all!

Cyberattack on Dutch prosecution service is keeping speed cameras offline

The BamBam Klub must be dancing

In the streets as this will only aid their decades long open warfare on the cursed devices. Don't forget if I recall correctly the inventor of the darn things is Dutch.

No more Blocktoberfest? German court throws book at ad blockers

Bypass-paywalls-free is my best friend!

It and adbloc+ sanitise our browsing very successfully. Screw the newpapers and paywall gestapo!!!

Tata Consultancy enforces return-to-office mandate for all US staff, effective immediately

And if you don't return to work

There's a few billion others in India more than ready to take your job!

Post pandemic there is zero reason to have a 5 day in the office mandate, unless you're working a F2F client role as no one really cares where you are.

Except, of course, the facilities manager + finance manager!

Fake IT support calls hit 20 orgs, end in stolen Salesforce data and extortion, Google warns

Its not just support, it's M&S Support

Anyone there?

Anyone surprised?

Anyone care?

Trump threatens to add formal Apple Tax on top of the 'Apple tax'

Orange Manbaby can do one

the US Trade courts have stricken down all his terrorifs, etc so looking forward to the crazy buffoon blowing his gasket today!

Empire of office workers strikes back against RTO mandates

so glad i fscking retired this year

and no longer have to deal with crap like RTO, etc...

feel for all the marshmallows...not

Trump announces $175B for Golden Dome defense shield over America

Golden Dome, Golden Shower

The only difference is cost.

The latter is the total value of Gilead (was: USA) the president’s puppet master gets

The former is boll lox pure and simple as Reagan tried & failed with Star Wars

..

Ne’er will the Orange Manbaby get this built but his pals will laugh all the way to the bank!