* Posts by s. pam

558 posts • joined 6 Sep 2007


Virgin Media CEO says Brit broadband biz 'performed well' in Q2, which is a weird way to say losses almost tripled

s. pam
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We dumped them after their bill for broadband + home phone went to £60/month plus the Wouldn’t implement IPv6 either.

Now on FTTP for £28/month, similar speed.

Beardies company can rot - the extra dosh will be useful.

Aviation regulator outlines fixes that will get the 737 MAX flying again

s. pam

New airplane song!

Wouldn’t you like to... Die in my bug riddled airplane?*

We can crash along with automatic systems that did us in...

Oh we can die, we can die..

There’s ZERO chance anyone we know and our family will EVER be on one. Unsafe at any altitude!

(*With respect to the original singers)

Brit retailer John Lewis to catapult 111 tech bods over to Capgemini weeks after dumping 244 on Wipro

s. pam

Never beaten...

The staff so much as with this insane outsourcing maneuver....

Beardy Branson’s 747-assisted sat-launcher can’t get it up

s. pam

Nothing that £500M of UK taxpayer funding cannot fix

Don't worry dear, Beardie will complete penetration of space with mo' money

The software bots are coming, the software bots are coming: Microsoft swallows UK automation minnow while dreaming of low-code apps

s. pam


Remember what they did to Skype?

NHS contact-tracing app is best in the world, says VMware CEO... whose company helped build it

s. pam

Re: Nice to see

There's warehouses FULL of PPE in the UK, up in Mercyside. Been covered by a number of news outlets. Its just the current cunning runts are too stupid to answer their calls so they're selling it overseas.

s. pam

Why the heck not a UK developed app?

There are numerous companies based and chartered in the UK who have huge mobile expertise that also know the market and understand protecting PII.

Vmware, sod them. Nice company for virtualisation but not know for UX / mobile.

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much

s. pam

How would the Plod deal with

2 people, completely isolated in a wood, shagging each other silly?

It's really outdoor exercise officer, I promise!

World's smallest violin to be played for opportunistic sellers banned from eBay and Amazon for price gouging

s. pam

The best way to fsck these scum

Go onto their rip off items and ask the seller a question.

Question gets posted immediately whilst the response will take longer, so shows as a pending response.

Possibly embarrassing them will help as the CMA is useless.

Maersk prepares to lay off the Maidenhead staffers who rescued it from NotPetya super-pwnage

s. pam

Someone needs to notify the Home Office

I hope Maersk will have fun trying to get General work visas (Tier 2) for their new cheaper-at-half-the-price employees.

Apple checks under the couch for $500m in spare change, offers it to make power-throttling gripes disappear

s. pam

Non-USA customers can feck right off

If you're not in the USA, you don't get any dosh from the Apple Borkage it appears even though your mileage has suffered!

Scottish biz raided, fined £500k for making 193 million automated calls

s. pam
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You've obviously not looked too far into the business practises of many takeaways in village and town centres then? They all play the same game, in their case the public gets food poisoning/rats &/or roaches in shop then it is summarily closed down. Their wife/son/daughter/brother/etc. etc. then opens a "new place" in the exact same location.

s. pam

Now if they'll go after the others

Whack-a-mole is the game, phone spamming is the name.

Anything coming from 0843 is a spammer. ICO get a clue bag!

We at work have gotten particularly good at winding up Microsoft Support that calls in our office. Current record is more than 12 mins feeding them utterly random twaddle before they melt, curse and hang up.

Your phone wakes up. Its assistant starts reading out your text messages. To everyone around. You panic. How? Ultrasonic waves

s. pam

Big Caveat

One must have Siri (etc.) enabled.

I and none of my family do.

Quantum compute boffins called up to get national UK centre organised for some NISQy business

s. pam

Kinda superb, but.....

The Met Office blown billions and still cannot tell us a reliable weather prediction, or a semi-estimated weather prediction.

All this newfangled crap is good for is making the vendors rich.

How about we take the £93M and apply it for taking better care of in-need OAP's, etc or hiring more doctors, nurses or doing upkeep on our hospitals first!

Sure, check through my background records… but why are you looking at my record collection?

s. pam

Alistairdon't forget...

The Usenet Archive, where even the oldest of us on the 'Net could possibly be hung for past public statements!

OK, which Dombås stuffed Windows 10 to bursting at Swedish flatpack flinger?

s. pam

How to spot the couples headed to divorce court?

They're at IKEA at the weekend.

Wives happily picking up carp you don't need, and their buildings are a giant Farraday Cage so men cannot get sports on their mobile to numb their brains.

(No borkage was done creating this message)

BT: UK.gov ruling on Huawei will cost us half a billion pounds over next 5 years

s. pam

Don't worry dear....

We'll just raise your mobile bill accordingly to cover the loss!

Anatomy of OpenBSD's OpenSMTPD hijack hole: How a malicious sender address can lead to remote pwnage

s. pam

Robert Morris Jr. Anyone?

Gosh golly its like I just fell into a wayback machine and am back at UC Berkeley in 1988.

And that's NOT a good thing. I thought the OpenBSD folks had more of a clue. I guess their clue bag has a hole.

You're not Boeing to believe this: Yet another show-stopping software bug found in ill-fated 737 Max airplanes

s. pam

Boeing's new theme song..

(sing to Frank Sinatra's voice)...

Come flaw with me, we'll die we'll die away

If you can use a bug or two, there's a casket in Bombay

Come flaw with me let's die, die die

Come flaw with me let's die, and be put away....

Are you getting it? Yes, armageddon it: Mass hysteria takes hold as the Windows 7 axe falls

s. pam
Black Helicopters

Not upgrading my Mum's Win7 PC

My Mum is 84 and suffering from Alzheimer's more and more every day.

Given she can barely use the PC, even though it's got good A/C on it, this will likely lead to my installing SuSE (or equiv) on it next time I am in front of her PC.

Not that she may recall she still has it.

What was Boeing through their heads? Emails show staff wouldn't put their families on a 737 Max over safety fears

s. pam

Would the Sussex's fly on one?

That'd be telling though for a price Megxit will do anything Goofy it appears.

Oh noes! Half the NHS runs on Windows 7! Thankfully, here's Citrix with a virty vaccine

s. pam
IT Angle

I was released from hospital Sunday night by Win 7

I’ve been quite unwell and staying in Wrexham Park hospital in Berkshire. The county operator is Frimley Trust of the NHS.

All the nurses stations and roll around computers I personally saw being used are still on it.

Not a single sight of Citrix from my entering A&E to Observation unit and then onto a Ward had it.

Sadly the HW they have is pretty up to date even if the screens aren’t.

Almost worrying times ahead.

Reaction Engines' precooler tech demo chills 1,000°C air in less than 1/20th of a second

s. pam

But can it cool my entire house

When the Saharan heatwaves-O-death come every summer?

If it can, where can I sign up to buy one?

Microsoft Notepad: If it ain't broke, shove it in the Store, then break it?

s. pam

Re: F*ck Microsoft Notepad,

Simples, always carry the latest version on a USB stick.

Have you never been a consultant?

s. pam

F*ck Microsoft Notepad,

Use Notepad++ a FAR better, more functional and useful product.

The 2nd app I replace on any new PC is Notepad, the 1st, Internet Exploder!

Oh good. This'll go well. Amazon's Alexa will offer NHS advice

s. pam

Amazon and Google can fuck right off

There's no way in hell we will allow them access to our private medical data. We don't even do medical searches on the web unless we're in private/anonymous mode via Duck Duck Go.

Alexa can sit and spin on that.

UK police want to Airwave hello to some more mobile devices – survey

s. pam

Its really disturbing (and sad!)

When a RTA happens and the Plod take photos with their persona mobiles and email it to work because they ain't got the kit.

Sack all the luvvie firms snorting up the cash might help the Boys in Blue have some half decent kit!

PowerPoint to start telling you that your presentation is bad and you should feel bad

s. pam

I want a poison dart gun for any Powerpoint preso

One more moppet, one more feckwit reading their slides and BANG, dart o' sedation right in the neck.

Talk about a ticket to ride... London rail passengers hear pr0n grunts over PA system

s. pam

The 7:18 service will be coming...

in a tunnel near you, soon!

Symantec boss Greg Clark exits biz amid dismal financials

s. pam

There’s a special place...in Hell

For Symantec and I’m glad their revenues are tanking even more.

As an ex employee who got screwed over by a lying, cheating, say anything boss it breeds contempt like nothing else.

Rot in Hell.

Portal to 'HELL' cracks open in street – oh sorry, it's just another pothole

s. pam

Don't visit Buckinghamshire then if you want your car in one piece!

Bucks County Council has successfully recreated the Moon here. Tens of thousands of sink holes, giant potholes and fissures regularly cause significant damage.

Just pointing out yet another incompetent council!

London's Metropolitan Police arrest Julian Assange

s. pam
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About bloody time

Whether he is guilty or not he has to stand and account for his actions. Hiding away from criminal charges never wins any favour from any court.

Go on, feast your eyes on... HMRC's backend: 4,000 IT staff, its hookup with AWS and more

s. pam

And the Smart PFY.....

Will do their apprenticeship and piss off to pastures anew and far greener.

Citrix mysteriously quiet amid whisperings of senior layoffs: Executives, teams logged out, it is claimed

s. pam

Has anyone called their UK office in Gerrards Cross?

Being a UK registered company such as this paper and they are, pick up the phone and call them to try to verify story.

Top personnel general joined Capita months after firm won its Army recruiting IT contract

s. pam
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No different than in Trumpland

On Planet Trump in the USA this kind of crap happens all the time, not surprised at all!

Super-crook admits he nicked $122m from Facebook, Google by sending staff fake invoices for tech kit

s. pam

Truly Divine Retribution

Screw your customers? Check.

Give away customer data? Check.

Mislead politicians that you won't do it again? Check.

Looks like the Karma Gods have smiled, shame the guy got caught!

Defaulting to legacy Internet Explorer just to keep that one, weird app working? Knock it off

s. pam

Payroll hell and damnation

Our company doesn't do payroll, even though there's a venerable army of HR and Finance people. Who the @£$% knows what they all do all day. When you approach them with a question, they tell you to contact ADP. So you do and you're told "our app only works with IE 10". Not 11, not 9, not even Edge -- IE 10.

Thus if you need to know what's on your payslop, or what deductions, or G*d forbid your end of year PAYE info, you have to run IE 11 in IE 10 "bassackwards compatibilty mode" or you're blocked from even logging onto their site.

Don't even think about Firefox, Safari or Chrome "unsupposed and insecure" is the message from ADP regarding them.

Twitter. Android. Private tweets. Pick two... Account bug unlocked padlocked accounts

s. pam

Feh, Twitter in the Shitter

Who cares?

If you're daft enough to use it, expect everything to be Public, just like Farcebook!

British Airways: If you're feeling left out of our 380,000 passenger hack, then you may be one of another 185,000 victims

s. pam

Biggest Arseholes

Deserve to have the beejezus fined out of them and we cancelled our card and trip booked during the August- September hack.


Well Sherlock if the bad guys have your personal details/ address and likely your travel dates then can burglyof your home be far behind!

That’s why!

Amazon is at this point a money-printing cloud machine with a grocery store in the parking lot

s. pam

They’re still the most shit

Amazon May be the 9,000,000Kg gorilla for cloud stuff but their video service runs at 9600 Baud for downloads.

We’ve got 250mbps to our house and pull down a Netflix movie in 5-10 seconds whilst Amazon Video takes 5-10 MINUTES.

Hey Jeffy boy, we’re customers too

Brit startup plans fusion-powered missions to the stars

s. pam

Don't tell AUstin Texas!

Austin became the laughing stock, or something when they declared the town a "Nuclear Free Zone" in the 1980's.

I guess no one should tell them about the rather decent sized Tokamak in the sub-basement of one of the Engineering school buildings at University of Texas that has been successfully running for decades!

Span hits F#, LinkedIn gets mumbly, and UWP (yes, it's still clinging on) furnished with new toys

s. pam

LinkedIn's app is crap

Has anyone ever looked at the size of the app? 534MB is the biggest, lard arsed app I've ever seen on an iPad/iPhone.

It subsequently has been deleted, just like I disabled the Dain Bread Siri crap o'app.

Never looked back but in pleasure ;-) of the decision a few months ago!

Some Things just aren't meant to be (on Internet of Things networks). But we can work around that

s. pam

Just setup a separate Wifi network, name it "InternetOfShit"

Put all the IoT crap on a separate Wifi network, leave it open to the Internet, and let it eat itself. Easy when it's fucked to not take down your home/office.

How much do you think Cisco's paying erstwhile Brit PM David Cameron?

s. pam

£120,000/hr is Camoron's fee

A simple Gargle search yields he is into the stratosphere of speakers fees: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-cameron-charging-120000-per-hour-for-speeches-about-brexit-a7418451.html

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

s. pam

Something fishy going on if they're involved





Are nasty bits of work in every sense. Ask Morrissey.

Google shoots Chrome 66's silencer after developer backlash

s. pam

Re: Options

There is an on or off switch in chrome://flags Look for the video settings and you can enable/disable autoplay as well as video there.

Quit whinging, RTFM.

O2 wolfs down entire 4G spectrum as pals fiddle with their shiny 5G band

s. pam

Who care, still cannot get a fecking signal

Between Reading and Maidenhead on the A4.

Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins

s. pam

Suitable for Crapita?

Seems a Darth Vader electro butt plug my be a suitable pressie for the Crapita team working on the TfL network...

Why Sherlock Holmes. Because he told me to suggest this!

Uber: Hackers stole 57m passengers, drivers' info. We also bribed the thieves $100k to STFU

s. pam

More validation Uber are scum

Never used them, now damn sure never will.

Rotten to the crankshaft of their engine, and clearly deluded by inhaling exhaust gasses.



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