* Posts by Maximum Delfango

150 posts • joined 20 Oct 2019

Page:

Programming pioneer Fran Allen passes after a career of immense contributions to compilers

Maximum Delfango
Stop

Sad on two levels.

Very sad to hear about the passing of someone so intelligent and pivotal to what we all do today. Also sad to read that this sort of thing was supported by IBM, who then were a real innovative company changing the world, rather than the listless horde of second rate 'consultants' they are today.

RIP Fran Allen.

That's how we roll: OWC savagely undercuts Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels with bargain $199 alternative

Maximum Delfango
Pint

Doesn't matter if design was perfected at dawn of humankind, you still have to pay Cupertino tax

Whoever wrote this is a star.

Intel NDA blueprints – 20GB of source code, schematics, specs, docs – spill onto web from partners-only vault

Maximum Delfango
IT Angle

Re: No personal or customer data? Really

Very good point. These corporate spokespeople are just paid liars really, aren't they?

Dynabook Portégé X30L-G: So light, you might even forget about its terrible keyboard

Maximum Delfango
IT Angle

"...a capable machine for the road warrior..."

Does that species exist any more?

Now we have the Cafê Confabulator, the At Home Hero, the Zoom Zombie, and the Masked Twat.

(The last one needs a bit of work).

Microsoft confirms pursuit of TikTok after Satya Nadella chats to Donald Trump

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

This is excellent news...

...if you work in, or have shares in any other social media platform.

Microsoft will work their 'magic' on Tik Tok which will soon start circling the drain. It couldn't happen to a nicer platform.

Twitter says spear-phishing attack hooked its staff and led to celebrity account hijack

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ... ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

I have nothing more to add.

ha!

(except that).

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

Maximum Delfango
Pint

Could we have an illustration of someone testing whether AI assistants...

...work in the noisy environment of a beach? For example: https://regmedia.co.uk/2008/05/21/eee_girl_1.jpg

Intel, boffins invent an AI Clippy for code: Hi, I see you're writing another lock-free bloom filter. Can I help?

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

"Hi, I can see you're writing another lock-free bloom filter..."

Yes, you (and everyone) can see because your f**king chips are insecure.

At historic Apple, Amazon, Facebook, Google CEOs hearing, congressmen ramble, congresswomen home in on tech market abuse

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

An excellent summary, and excellent reporting...

Thank you. The closing sentence was particularly pithy.

Please keep watching!

It'll be particularly interesting (and sad) to see how much our mainstream media misunderstands all of this.

It's been five years since Windows 10 hit: So... how's that working out for you all?

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

So... how's that working out for you all?

Brilliant, thanks!

(I only have iMacs).

Less than six months after original release, Samsung reboots its Galaxy Z Flip pholdable for the 5G age

Maximum Delfango
IT Angle

Re: No.

If I researched and fact checked everything I posted, then I wouldn't have time to post. And who'd want that?

Maximum Delfango
Coffee/keyboard

Re: No.

I've thought of a 4th reason:

4. It'll receive software updates for approximately 37 minutes after its release date. Then, nothing...

Maximum Delfango
Pint

No.

I absolutely wouldn't buy one of these for three reasons:

1. It's made by Samsung, so won't work properly. will break easily and Samsung will offer their usual level of after-sales service, i.e. None.

2, It'll be full of shoddy bloatware. Unremovable shoddy bloatware.

3. Its price is way beyond amusing.

Microsoft wants to show enterprises that Edge means business, rather than the thing you use to download Chrome

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Oh God.

Edge has four channels: Stable, which is stable like Donald Trump is stable, and of course doesn't work at all but at least it doesn't work in a fairly constant way; Beta, which is more broken than Dominic Cummings's moral compass; Dev, which is updated weekly as if anyone gave a shit, and still remains irreparably broken and useless; and the daily "bleeding edge" Canary builds, the software equivalent of repeatedly rubbing your eyes with broken glass and wondering why everything hurts and looks all red.

Fitness freaks flummoxed as massive global Garmin outage leaves them high and dry for hours

Maximum Delfango

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Surely the stress of the site being down will lead to useful weight loss.

VMware to stop describing hardware as ‘male’ and ‘female’ in new terminology guide

Maximum Delfango
Pint

Re: This was inevitable

"...VMware has been under the control of people who gargle their own balls..."

Presumably they'd have to be virtual balls as access to the physical hardware in this way would be somewhat challenging.

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Good luck removing 'abort' from Unixes everywhere...

Sigh.

Twilio: Someone waltzed into our unsecured AWS S3 silo, added dodgy code to our JavaScript SDK for customers

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

"...Transform your customer communications with Twilio..."

...says their fizzy website.

Well, they've certainly done that.

960 LinkedIn employees will be let go... If only there was some kind of 'social network for suits' to assist job hunts

Maximum Delfango
IT Angle

Re: 960 LinkedIn employees will be let go.

...and I hate to think of how many senior managers there are...

If you can read this, your Windows 10 2004 PC really is connected to the internet no matter what the OS claims

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Another victory for 'Agile'?

Move fast; break things.

Never move fast enough to fix them, though. You'd be out of a job then.

Google gives Gmail's collab chops a good buffing to make it the 'home for work' while we're working from home

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Ugh... that awful stock photo...

That stock photo of a young women grinning stupidly and vacuously into a laptop (probably not even switched on) is just awful. She looks like her IQ is hovering around the 85 mark, and the reason she's on the bed in her stupid childish pyjamas is that she's forgotten how to get off it. Ugh! Why so many women want to infantilise themselves is beyond me.

The daft thing is that the Register has all the stock photos it needs (safe for furlough):

https://www.theregister.com/Print/2014/04/23/ryobi_grinder_girl/

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

Maximum Delfango
Happy

This is me laughing...

Ha! Ha! Ha! ... continues for some considerable time ... ha!

Brit retailer John Lewis to catapult 111 tech bods over to Capgemini weeks after dumping 244 on Wipro

Maximum Delfango
Unhappy

Poor sods...

First COVID then this.

UK smacks Huawei with banhammer: Buying firm's 5G gear illegal from year's end, mobile networks ordered to rip out all next-gen kit by 2027

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

They've made various "home hubs" for BT...

Enough reason to punish them in my book.

Rust code in Linux kernel looks more likely as language team lead promises support

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

Re: Is there a reason we need YAPL?

In 10 years time there will be no-one left who understands why that was funny. Upvote incoming.

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

I am an expert in objects, methods, variables and constants.

I truly doubt many other so-called "experts" reading this could match my skills.

.NET Core: Still a Microsoft platform thing despite more than five years open source

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

It’s simple...

No developer trusts Microsoft.

Keep it Together, Microsoft: New mode for vid-chat app Teams reminds everyone why Zoom rules the roost

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Teams...

...is utter shit and this new stupid bolt-on from Microsoft’s department of crapness if won’t make it any less shit.

I hate Teams - it’s clunky, slow, bloated, buggy, ugly and takes more memory that anything else on my work PC. Microsoft should be ashamed of this piece of badly written excrement. And those stupid cartoon people all over the UI? Jesus, when did software become so damn patronising?

And to think I believed Sharepoint was the nadir for Microsoft. I was so naive.

It's not a Windows 10 release without something breaking so here's a troubleshooter for your OneDrive woes

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

Re: Christ on a bike

"...in the pursuit of some marketing-driven cockwobbling idea that they need to do 2 releases a year or else Satya Nadella's penis will drop off, or something..."

I am quoting this sentence as it may well be the best thing I have ever read on the Internet.

Capita Consulting ditching more than a quarter of its workforce 45 days after consultations with consultants

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

Re: Puzzled

A net gain. In all sorts of ways.

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Workforce? Really?

They've scraped 1/4 of the turds from the surface of the cesspit and they want a medal?

Never knowingly under-digitally transformed: Retailer John Lewis outsources tech function to Wipro

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Won't be shopping in John Lewis any more...

Outsourcing IT never ever works.

'It's really hard to find maintainers...' Linus Torvalds ponders the future of Linux

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

Re: I wonder why?

Simple; go to step 2.

It's National Cream Tea Day and this time we end the age-old debate once and for all: How do you eat yours?

Maximum Delfango
Paris Hilton

Paris...

...because she's well known for eating the cream first.

She tends to suck it straight out of the tube. So I'm told...

Honey, I built the app! Amazon's beta no-code dev platform is great for ad-hoc stuff, but not much else – yet

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

See also...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_One_(software)

One year ago, Apple promised breakthrough features to help iPhone, iPad, Mac owners with disabilities. It failed them

Maximum Delfango

Are any other phones any better in this area?

Apple's new WidgetKit: Windows Phone Live Tiles done right?

Maximum Delfango

Apple doesn't copy; they have invented widgets first, but in a non-contiguous and non-linear timeline.

Skype for Windows 10 and Skype for Desktop duke it out: Only Electron left standing

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Oh Jesus, why?

Teams is an Electron app and is the biggest clunkiest piece of shit software I've used for decades; hell, even Lotus Notes was more elegant and intuitive.

And Microsoft want to make more applications of theirs look and act like Teams? Either their senior management is retarded or they're saboteurs from Apple.

Sure is wild that Apple, Google app store monopolies are way worse than what Windows got up to, sniffs Microsoft prez

Maximum Delfango

Re: I clicked on 'Accept All Cookies'.

I'd take the cookies over the medal. That's probably why I'm fat.

Here's a headline we never thought we'd write 20 years ago: Microsoft readies antivirus for Linux, Android

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

Microsoft has extended its antivirus package for servers...

...by finally shipping a Windows uninstall tool that actually works.

Health Sec Hancock says UK will use Apple-Google API for virus contact-tracing app after all (even though Apple were right rotters)

Maximum Delfango
WTF?

Re: "we discovered a technical barrier that every other country [...] is also now hitting."

"...i.e. Rory Cellan Jones, someone so tech illiterate..."

In answer to you, I present Andrew Griffin at the Independent: https://www.independent.co.uk/author/andrew-griffin

...a journalist who seemingly knows nothing about grammar, English, writing, science or technology.

Maximum Delfango
Thumb Up

Re: "we discovered a technical barrier that every other country [...] is also now hitting."

I certainly wasn't wishing to imply the Reg's journalists were anything less than excellent!

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

Re: "we discovered a technical barrier that every other country [...] is also now hitting."

So true, Dan 55; in the unending race to the bottom, our mainstream media sites are now written by semi-illiterate cheap or zero-hour arts grads who copy what they read on Twitter or what press release was emailed to them - without any sort of fact checking or independent thought at all.

It staggers me how utterly stupid many of today's journalists are, and how they still really think they can write with authority about anything.

I used to read the Independent regularly, but stopped as it got worse and worse - but look how bad their 'tech' section is now. It's shocking: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech

What does London's number 65 bus have to hide? OS caught on camera setting fire to '22,000 illegal file(s)!!'

Maximum Delfango
Happy

Re: It's where the government keeps their Brexit and Covid plans...

Backups, of course!

Maximum Delfango

It's where the government keeps their Brexit and Covid plans...

They were told a mobile backup site would be terrorist-proof.

Customers of Brit ISP Virgin Media have downloaded an extra 325GB since March, though we can't think why

Maximum Delfango
Boffin

As I've mentioned before, did you remember to enable “dynamic flesh tone compression” on your router? It will save a lot of time (so a friend tells me).

GitHub to replace master with main across its services

Maximum Delfango

Re: I look forward to M$ sensoring the classics...

I look forward to this conversation continuing longer than forever.

Windows 10 once more in print condition: Microsoft applies out-of-band fix to Patch Tuesday cock-up

Maximum Delfango
Facepalm

The current Windows dev process is horribly flawed...

I mean what the hell is Microsoft doing to break printing? Printing across multiple devices from multiple manufacturers using a plug-in device driver model was pretty much sorted out and working by at least 1990.

I know hardly anyone owns a printer or prints stuff out now (but just try getting a mortgage if you don't own a printer), but WTF are Microsoft's developers actually doing? How is Microsoft hiring such bad people? (See also: Sharepoint, Teams, Skype, ...).

ZFS co-creator boots 'slave' out of OpenZFS codebase, says 'casual use' of term is 'unnecessary reference to a painful experience'

Maximum Delfango
Paris Hilton

Re: So using the new ZFS terminology...

Paris... because...

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