* Posts by ITMA

1033 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Aug 2019

Patch me if you can: Microsoft, Samsung, and Google win appeal over patent on remote updating

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Joke

Re: So far so good, as far as the court is concerned...

Sorry but I have "prior art" on right to left, top to bottom, bottom to top and several variations on Diagon Ally :)

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Re: in a mobile unit

"Most LANs have no security unlike the WiFi you might not know the key. Even small offices now should have security on ethernet LAN."

Very true. Easily solved with a base ball bat.

Plug anything into the lan you've been told not to and the regular rogue device scanning grasses you up, expect your fingers and the wide end of the baseball bat to meet unexpectedly.

Not practical in most real world situations, but you get the idea. Security it great, but not to be used as an excuse for pathetic company IT policies or senior management that don't take "rules" seriously and treat them like toilet paper when their "company favourites" do what they like.

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Devil

Re: in a mobile unit

So if I put my 20 yr old PC (yes I have some) on a trolley and update it using a floppy disk, do these f******* expect me to pay them a royalty?

I know what they can do....

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Re: So far so good, as far as the court is concerned...

Particularly problematic when it comes to things like:

"I patent moving my finger across a screen left to right".

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Re: So far so good, as far as the court is concerned...

C'mon - any "patent" system that allows patents on things in nature is ipso facto "shite".

Yes there has been a ruling:

https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/understanding/testing/genepatents/

which just about covers it. But WAY too many patents have been granted in the US to things which are NOT inventions. Sorry but "discoveries" of things which already exist should NOT be patentable which tends to be the major problem in the US.

Yes it is also "sort of" covered:

https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution-conan/article-1/section-8/clause-8/patentable-discoveries

But way too many courts in the US have sided with those filing patents.

Arm freezes hiring until Nvidia takeover, cancels everyone's 'wellbeing' allowance

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Re: Ah yes, the flexpot.

"Market Rate" and higher salaries can both be dangerous things in the wrong situations.

For instance - "Market Rate" is the usually trotted out excuse for why some nobody who is useless can demand a telephone number salary in a position such as "CEO" of some regional ambulance service despite being a total walking cluster f**k.

It is also a major reason why salaries in the "upper echelons" of many organisations have spiraled out of control. "Keeping pace with market rates" - he/she gets more as a CEO (because they are doing a genuinely superb job) so I want the same as a CEO (despite being pi** poor at it and ruining everything they touch).

As my experience in banking IT illustrated, high salaries can become a trap. They pay high salaries because, frankly, they are bloody awful places to work. You get used to the money and end up trapped working in "bloody awful places to work" where the only thing keeping most people there is the money - because their expenditure has risen to need that level of salary.

Not suitable for everyone's situation, but I'd rather have a bit of a less well paid job if I it is a job I thoroughly enjoy, than a rather better paid one which I loath and only do for the money. The latter is the sort of thing that leads to breakdowns and other significant mental health issues.

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Re: So you can pretend to take over a company that is really a competitor

I'm not going to add to the "politicising" of this by giving examples of other parties monumental screwups.

But you are getting my down vote as well.

Besides, they have also had other things to deal with - perhaps you've not heard of COVID? - like any government.

Boffins improve on tech that extracts DC power from ambient Wi-Fi

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Ah you've used some of BT's "discs"? LOL

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Devil

BT and their WiFi

Who remembers BT's ad banging on about "UK's most powerful WiFi"?

Ignoring the fact it was banned as "misleading" (c'mon this was BT, what do you expect?), maybe one should encourage all of one's neighbours to switch to BT broadband, commence large scale harvesting "tests" and tell your electrickery company to take a hike and take their (now) useless "dumb" leccy meter with them as you no longer need their very expensive "juice"

UK data watchdog fines 'pandemic partner' biz £8k: It sent 84,000 marketing emails to people who'd given info for track and trace

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The "real" meaning of ICO

Their TLA is always misinterpreted.

It is not, as many think "ICO" but in fact "IC0". Which stands for "I Care 0 (zero)".

ASUS baffles customer by telling them thermal pad thickness is proprietary

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"Ugh, hit with rock"

Assuming they have evolved sufficiently to develop lanuage skills.

When humanity perishes in nuclear fire, the University of Essex's radiation-resistant robots will inherit the Earth

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Will they be painted in Burberry pattern colour schemes and wear chavvy baseball caps?

How much would you pay me to develop a COVID tracking app that actually works? Ah, thought so: nothing

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Re: How much would you pay me to develop a COVID tracking app that actually works?

Do you have a track record in running things you have absolutely no experience in and/or overseen monumental IT screwups (TalktTalk data breaches - plural)?

Lessons have not been learned: Microsoft's Modern Comments leave users reaching for the rollback button

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Re: The best product doesn't always win

In my (longer than I care to state) experience, I've had to use (more had inflicted upon me) far, far worse.

WordPerfect for one - I absolutely loathed that software.

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Another Microsoft screw up

Shudders when one thinks back to the horror of "Focused inbox".

Another crap feature foisted on users - not needed and definitey not wanted.

Internet Explorer downgraded to 'Walking Dead' status as Microsoft sets date for demise

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Intriguing....

Two different machines, both running Windows 10 Pro 64 bit.

Both running 20H2, OS Build 19042.985.

Both running Edge Version 90.0.818.62 (Official build) (64-bit)

One has the "Allow sites to be reloaded in Internet Explorer mode" under Default Browser in Edge Settings, one doesn't.

The one that does has "Reload in Internet Explorer mode" under More Tools, the other doesn't.

Both have a Microsoft 365 account associated, neither has Edge as the default browser and neither has syncing turned on.

Both claim to be up to date on Edge version and WIndows updates.,

Well done Mickysoft. Can't even be consistent.

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IF you can get it to work at all.

Followed the instructions on Mickysoft's Internet Explorer Mode support page:

1. The setting mentioned doesn't exist.

2. Going to More Tools and there is NO "Reopen in Internet Explorer Mode".

Spectacular fail.

10.8 million UK homes now have access to gigabit-capable broadband, with much of the legwork done by Virgin Media

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Re: Gigabit...

"Nor if you run offsite backups to your friend's house..."

As Gandalf so succinctly put it - "Do not tempt me!" LOL

James Webb Space Telescope runs one last dress rehearsal for its massive golden mirrors before heading to launchpad

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Shudders at the thought of a repeat of the Galileo Jupiter mission...

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Are you talking before or after COSTAR and the various other fixes to address to monumental screwup of Perkin-Elmer?

China says its first Mars rover Zhurong has landed on the Red Planet

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Hmmmmm

Does anyone else see undertones of some sort in:

"Red" China lands on the "Red" planet?

LOL

Which? warns that more than 2 million Brits are on old and insecure routers – wagging a finger at Huawei-made kit

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Or more like 5000 went to their sheds to check if their bench mounted Black & Decker router was vulnerable...

(Checking the manual)

RPM - check

Took changing - check

Nope. Nothing about default password.

(Neighbour)

Mine is secure! It's a Makita!

LOL!

Mayday! Mayday! Microsoft has settled on a build and Windows 10 21H1 is inbound

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I've only one thing to say to that..

Oh bollocks.....

For blinkenlights sake.... RTFM! Yes. Read The Front of the Machine

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Re: Blinkenlights

Don't tell me - tell the morons who keep putting them in kit because blue LEDs are "the in thing".

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Re: Communicating with only obscenities?

"I've just fucking got to get this fucking order to the fucking desk and then I'll fucking be able to help you."

Sounds like perfect Geordie to me!

It's part of the reason Geordies generally talk so fast - they (I should say "we" as I am a Geordie) have to get double the amount of words out in the same space of time. Think of it as "packet padding" LOL.

And that is without taking into account the additional throughput required to get in the obligatory Geordie vocalisation of ACK - "Bonny lad/lass".

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Re: Blinkenlights

I absolutely *hate* effing blue LEDs - or more precisely I absolutely *hate* they way they have been stuffed in effing everthying with an LED in it

Most equipment that has blue LEDs fitted has no justification what-so-ever for using them and the are WAY WAY too bright.

This is design "fashion" gone stupid, pure and simple.

STOP IT!!!!

I'll give you a hint - why do most emergency services us BLUE LIGHTS?

So how monumentally stupid is it to use them everywhere. It's hard to find an LED bedroom alarm clock that doesn't have a blue display these days (most of the LCD ones are rubbish as bedroom alarm clock). I don't know about anyone else, but NOTHING with a blue LED is allowed in the bedroom. I just find it impossible to sleep because they are so attention grabbing and disturbingly bright.

Microsoft drops 64-bit OneDrive into the pool: Windows on ARM fans need not apply. As usual

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A more important thing to look at...

A more important issue than - will or will Microsoft not producea 64 bit OneDrive client - is this:

When will Microsoft get it into their thick corprate skull - STOP TRYING TO FORCE IT ON TO PEOPLE!

They are OUR computers and OUR data, not yours Microsoft. Get and keep your grubby thieving hands off!

Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy

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Re: A near weekly occurrence

"It's shocking how people whose job it is to teach are so unwilling to learn."

That comment is a double edged sword. Is it that they are unwilling to learn, or just that you may not be as good a "teacher" as you think.

I used to work in education IT support back in the days of the BBC Micro. Had a primary school head teacher who just could not get a disk to "auto start". This is usually done using a key combination often vocalised as "<SHIFT> and <BREAK>". Four other people in the IT office tried to talk her through how to do this - all without success. All of them Advisory Teachers and Teacher Advisors (I never did work out what the difference is).

The problem was NOT the head teacher. The problem was none of the others understood HOW to tell someone to do the key combination. She was trying to press both simultaneously in a way didn't work.

They solution - very, very simple:

"With your left hand press and hold the left SHIFT key. While holding it use your right hand to press and release the BREAK key, THEN release the SHIFT key". Worked correctly every time she tried it and was over the moon.

Why did it fail for the others?

Easy - trying to press both simultaneously she was buy chance always releasing SHIFT a fraction of a second before BREAK which (as those familiar with the BBC Micro) did a "soft reset" when pressed on its own.

This has a modern(ish) day equivalent - the "three fingered salute".

I've always thought the optimal way of telling someone HOW to do CTRL-ALT-DEL is this:

"With your left hand press and hold both the left SHIFT and left ALT keys. While holding them use your other hand to press and release the DEL key, then relase SHIFT and ALT".

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Ah but not all user "issues" are because users are "incompetent".

Take the situation where a very, very experienced secretary is trying to do something in (say) Word but can't get it to do what she/he wants.

On quite a number of occasions I've found it very beneficial to explain it like this:

"You're not being stupid. The person who wrote the software obviously never has to do this for a living and wrote it to work in this stupid way. So, to get it to do what you need you have to 'tell it' in this stupid way...."

Secretary can get done what they need to and feels good about themselves. They also remember how to do it next time.

Nothing annoys me more than "tech support" that believe in "get out of the way and let me fix it" without a word of explanation. This may be fine in some situations. However, in many it does nothing to prevent the same situation arising again. Help the user understand what has happened, why and what they need to do (not suitable for all situations) and you go a long way to prevent "ticket bounce".

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Nothing wrong with "self-taught".

IT as a subject is too broad and fast changing to stay up to date with everything, unless one specialises in a very narrow field. Providing you have a firm grasp of the fundamentals, much of the rest one learns as and when you need it.

It's called "experience".

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Devil

What always causes my "user empathy" to be drained rapidly is being asked for help and being provided with virtually no information. Then my requesst for more substantial information goiing unanswered.

It is this palpable attitude of "Just fix it!" with not even the slightly effort to try and help.

Oddly, this tends to come from users who are highly qualified in very specific areas (PhDs at times) none of which have anything to do with IT. It is almost as if you are just some "minion" on a par with the cleaners (no offence meant to office cleaners who do a wonderful job, my mum was one for years) who they treat with equal inequality.

As for stuff "just working" when the IT person turns up. It's called "influence". Almost as if the errant bit of kit knows you will take no sh*t from it and the game is up. So it behaves.

Carrying one of those organge plastic mallets than come with certain steel self-assembly warehouse shelving systems often seems to help. Particularly is waved about near the errant equipment in a threatening (to the equipment) manner.

BOFH: Bullying? Not on my watch! (It's a Rolex)

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As for "company policies".....

When is a company "IT Policy" not a company IT Policy?

When the directors who have their name on it treat it like toilet paper. Especially when some employee with no idea of real world business IT (highly qualified yet can't even use a web browser properly or efficiently) thinks something should be done in a way which directly contravenes said IT Policy. Usualy for no other reason than that's how they would like to do it.

Then suddenly everyone not in IT with a 'puter at home (which they can barely operate) becomse an "IT Expert" who can invent their own "IT Solutions" no matter how crass and stupid.

And the IT staff who wrote the policy and make everything work? Overruled by the "experts".

Partial beer print horror as Microsoft's printer bug fix, er, doesn't

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Re: Move Fast and Break Things,

I think dropping several tonnes of manure off at the main entrance of their QC department - if indeed they have one - may be more profitable.

Remember that day in 2020 when you were asked to get the business working from home – by tomorrow?

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Is anyone else experiencing "amplified" more frequent occurrences of everyone (not in IT) suddenly becoming an "IT expert" when IT tries to explain why they can't have exactly what they want/their idea won't work/is against company IT policy"?

OK, Google: Unshackled from Windows, Edge team is free to follow where Chromium leads

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And Edge is still crap.

Don't be a fool, cover your tool: How IBM's mighty XT keyboard was felled by toxic atmosphere of the '80s

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"However, upon flipping the 83-key device over in order to access the screws, Jim noted a cloud of dust flow out of it.

Sure that there had been no sneaky cremations performed nearby, Jim took a closer look and realised the cause of the failures.

'The employee was a chain smoker, and was exhaling toward the keyboard, thus depositing a fine smoke and ash residue in it which gradually fouled the keys and made it unusable.' "

You got of lucky!

I've had the same except the light beige keyboard of this particular "management accountant" was DARK BROWN!!!! It had started as light beige but his chain smoking soon changed that - as it did for every subsequent keyboard.

If you picked it up to turn it upside down, "ash" falling out was the LEAST of your worries - getting your fingers back off the keyboard wouthout the use of chemical solvants while still keeping skin on them and not leave it stuck to the keyboard was far more of a problem.

Prime suspect: Amazon India apologises for offensive scenes in political thriller

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Re: Bad news

I think you would benefit from reading it again....

I was merely using that as an example to illustrate that with freedom comes responsibility, because even words can do great harm to those on the receiving end.

Besides, quoting from what ever your own revered religious text may be is one thing - "ramming it down someone else's throat" who does not share your beliefs is something else. It all depends upon the situation and delivery.

Equally as unacceptable, in my view, would be someone doing the reverse - a non Muslim trying to force their views of the Quran onto a devout Muslim

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Re: Bad news

"Criticizing Christianity in the west is easy because there are so many Christians it can't be easily considered abusing a minority. Criticizing Islam is equally as easy (and they're both abhorrent IMO)"

Which are you calling "abhorrent"? The religions themselves or criticism of them?

I personally will defend to the hilt someone's right to believe what they want in terms of "faith/religion". However, what I will absolutely not defend is what some members of various religious groups see as their "right" to dictate to others who do not share their beliefs, how to live their lives or to victimise them because they view that lifestyle as "evil/sick/abhorrent" just because they don't like it.

The worst aspect is that, all too often, they are willing to go far beyond merely vocalising their "distaste" - stoning to death/execution of those who are of a different sexual orientation for instance.

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Re: Bad news

And the vegetables? What did they think? LOL

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Re: Bad news

But "freedom of speech" is not the same, nor should it be, as "freedom to say what you like without repercussions".

The classic example of that being:

"You are free to say what you like, no matter offensive or insulting, to my face, providing I'm free to kick you in the bollocks with my steel toe capped boots if I don't like it".

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Re: Bad news

Not JUST the Prime Minister...

Who remembers the superb Spitting Image and it's depiction of the then UK PM Margret Thatcher?

Especially the "dinner sketch" which went something like this

Waitress: How Do You Like Your Steak Sir?

Thatcher: I Like It Raw.

Waitress: What About The Vegetables?

Thatcher: They Will Just Have The Same (referring to her Cabinet)

Google "spitting image and the vegetables" (other so-called "search engines" are available) LOL

Microsoft previews Windows Server 2022: Someone took a spanner to core plumbing features

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Sounds like you haven't used any of the Windows Server releases (2012 r2 for instance) which had the utterly shite Metro interface.

A contract developer we had with us at the time took one look at it and said (of Microsoft for imposing Metro onto a Server version of Windows) - "The sick f**ks!!!"

It was impossible not to agree with him

Chrome release cycle accelerated to four-weekly frenzy

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Just who do Google think they are, pushing out (probably improperly tested) updates so regularly? Microsoft? LOL

The sooner AI stops trying to mimic human intelligence, the better – as there isn't any

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Did the source of this "myth" have the two words "Tony Blair" associated with it by any chance?

LOL

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Joke

Must work for the BBC then.....

UK's Health Department desperately seeking service provider to run IT after 'cloud-first' shift

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I think your first (crossed out) choice of wording was the more accurate...

After all - if "outsourcing" can run your systems better (which virtually always translates, at least in the promises to "cheaper") than your own in house team(s), with all their detailed and historical knowledge and understanding of your systems and business. Then either:

- You've employed the wrong people.

- The mob you're outsourcing to will ipso facto do a piss poor shite job.

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Re: Cloud First

Sounds like the usual "cloud cukoo land"....

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Re: Govt contract?

If they have it will most likely be through ineptitude than planning.

Ring, Ring, why don't you give me a call? Amazon-owned doorbells aren’t answering after large-scale outage

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What is the real product?

Ring, and similar devices, seem to me to be the hardware equivalent of "social media".

The "product" is not quite what it appears or what people generally think. With "social media" the product is "you" and your data

With Ring the product they are selling is NOT the doorbell. The hardware is merely the offer they initially sell to get you to buy the real product they want to sell - the subscription service without which the device is pretty useless.

I've looked at "video doorbells" several times for the delivery entrance for one of our sites. The killer has always been they all need a subscription to work which I just won't accept.

Here's what Europeans are buying amid the COVID-19 lockdown – aside from heaps of pasta and toilet paper

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Re: Webcams?

It's easier to get bog roll - and that's saying something....