* Posts by Mister Dubious

23 posts • joined 8 Aug 2019

Microsoft patches Y2K-like bug that borked on-prem Exchange Server

Mister Dubious
Boffin

Another date bug?

(Yawn.) Wake me in 2038.

Oz Feds reveal distribution model behind backdoored 'An0m' chat app spread by crims

Mister Dubious
Big Brother

Re: My Rule of Thumb

Iyay ickstay otay iedtray andyay uetray encryptionay ethodsmay.

Intel hopes to burn newly open-sourced AI debug tech into chips

Mister Dubious
Facepalm

Daisy, Daisy

"Open the pod bay doors, ControlFlag."

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Astroboffins reckon they've detected four hidden exoplanets by probing distant radio waves

Mister Dubious
Alien

What's playing?

You don't want to visit these exoplanets: Their radio signals carry Nickleback.

App Annie fined $10m by the SEC for deceptive practices around how it presented data

Mister Dubious
Headmaster

Gimme the difference!

Headline: "App Annie fined £10m [...]"

Body: "[...] has fined [...] App Annie $10m [...]"

Please send me the (£-$)10m right away, before (£-$) turns negative!

Lenovo blames 'firmware' issue for blank-screened Smart Displays, says Google's working on a fix – 6 months after complaints started

Mister Dubious
FAIL

Forrest Gump's take on "smart" gadgets

"Stupid is as stupid does."

Alpha adds to tally of exploding rockets, takes out space sail prototype with it

Mister Dubious
FAIL

"The Anomaly"

I guess they called it that because in rocketry these days "The Singularity" is plural?

Bonkers rocket launch sees craft slip sideways, barely climb and tear up terrain

Mister Dubious
Flame

In the Vanguard

Sort of reminds me of the Vanguard launches in the late 1950's. (Oh, er, a long LONG time before I was born, heard about 'em from my older brother, no, from my grandmother, yeah, that's it, my gran- no, my GREAT-grandmother, right.) The first rose less than two meters off the launch pad before nosing over into a fiery doom, and most of the rest did but little better. (Said my great-gran. Of course.)

Nice to see we're making progress.

New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional

Mister Dubious
Go

To Infinidash --

-- And Beyond!

Data collected to promote public health must never be surrendered to police

Mister Dubious
Big Brother

Hearken to Prophet McNealy

"You already have zero privacy. Get over it."

Twenty-two years ago. Prescient, that's what.

Global Fastly outage takes down many on the wibbly web – but El Reg remains standing

Mister Dubious
Headmaster

Which is In, which Out?

"... Fastly, an edge-centric cloud computing specialist ..."

"Edge-centric?" Isn't that a moronoxy?

Google ad biz shenanigans smacked down by French competition regulators

Mister Dubious
Facepalm

Re: Would anyone expect less?

"If you shop at Google, no surprise that the results give preferential treatment to Google products, surely? There are other search providers."

Right you are. I won't bother listing them; you can AltaVista them for yourself.

Imagine your data center backup generator kicks in during power outage ... and catches fire. Well, it happened

Mister Dubious
FAIL

Test, test, and test some more!

"... one of our backup generators that had been recently tested and benchmarked specifically for this situation experienced a catastrophic failure..."

Imagine how bad it might have been had they not tested it!

Healthy 32-year-old offered COVID-19 vaccine because doctors had him down as 6.2cm tall with BMI of 28,000

Mister Dubious
Facepalm

Size matters

Yes, lads, it truly does.

World+dog share in collective panic attack as Google slides off the face of the internet

Mister Dubious
Black Helicopters

Headgear?

It seems appropriate that the "something went wrong" monkey wears a MAGA hat.

Morgan Stanley hit with $60m penalty for failing to properly decommission old kit hosting 'wealth management' data

Mister Dubious
Flame

Re: Rich people's money

[...] a mild slap on the wrist.

$60 million *is* a mild slap on the wrist to Morgan Stanley. In 2019 they had revenue of $38.9 BILLION, so they'll recoup it in just over half a day -- 13:30, if my math's right. A little more than a rounding error, I guess, but less than a Punishment.

Big US election coming up, security is vital and, oh look... a federal agency just got completely pwned for real

Mister Dubious

Major Strasser has been shot!

"As for prevention, CISA recommended organizations follow the usual best practices [...]"

Round up the usual suspects.

Google says Australian pay-for-news code means it can’t quit the country

Mister Dubious

Re: 'changed its search Code more than 3,600 times last year alone'

I worked as a Google search developer for a couple years close to a decade ago. At that time I think "ten changes per day" would have been a gross UNderestimate of the amount of ferment in the search product(s).

Things may have changed since I left, of course. I'm sure we're all startled at how staid and stolid Google has become ...

Reap it in the family: Four brothers accused of cheating Amazon out of $19m in wholesaler fraud caper

Mister Dubious

Slow but exceeding fine

"...using fraudulent invoices from 2017 up until they were arrested and indicted this week."

Three years? Would have been quicker with Prime ...

So many stars, so little time: Machine learning helps astroboffins spot the most oxygen-starved galaxy yet

Mister Dubious
Boffin

Would have posted sooner, but I've been busy smelting metallic oxygen from its ores.

https://xkcd.com/2340/

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Mister Dubious
Childcatcher

Re: How about the Big Softie?

Years ago I heard the then CEO of Sun Microsystems opine that you're really in trouble when your wife starts calling you "micro" and "soft."

Stop us if you've heard this before: Boeing's working on 737 Max software fixes for autopilot, stabilization bugs

Mister Dubious
Alert

Independent bug-gery

"these two bugs [...[ are new and not related to the faulty MCAS system"

Well, *there's* a comfort!

WTF is Boeing on? Not just customer databases lying around on the web. 787 jetliner code, too, security bugs and all

Mister Dubious

A Modest Proposal

Boeing is better-equipped than any regulatory agency to determine the airworthiness of its products, so flights should resume as soon as Boeing says it's okay. For the first ten thousand or so hours of operation, though, it should be required that a Boeing board member be aboard each flight.

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