* Posts by Azamino

18 posts • joined 6 Jul 2019

BOFH: I'm so pleased to be on the call, Boss. No, of course this isn't a recording


90 days

I was going to say that Dave might not look so legendary when he has to leave Spain after 90 days ... but then it occurred to me that someone willing to pinch a bunch of laptops will probably not be too worried about ignoring immigration rules either.

Japanese bank botched data migration, which somehow turned its ATMs into card-eating monsters


Re: Like a box of clowns being slowly immolated.

You are wholly right about the banks, I still remember the monthly ritual of loading my GAICA pre-payment card to then pay my rent because I was not trusted with a credit / debit card.

But, yeah, leaving Japan still ranks as possibly the stupidest decision I ever made, and there's some tough competition for that distinction!

Splunk junks 'hanging' processes, suggests you don't 'hit' a key: More peaceful words now preferred in docs


Almost there ...

Zero was first used as a number in India, as defined by Brahmagupta in the 7th Century. So yes to appropriation but from India not Arabia.

Citibank accidentally wired $500m back to lenders in user-interface super-gaffe – and judge says it can't be undone


Re: "six-eyes" policy

Wholly correct about staff growing sloppy Chairo. I worked for a bank which went from two approvals in Change Management to five and the quality dropped like a stone. I once accidentally submitted my template rather than the actual change and it went thru!

The old system was not perfect though. They had the most awful habit of sitting on change requests until they had expired, so no approval but no rejection either. This helped them hit some ill-defined performance SLA that made no sense to anyone.

48-hour strike action: Openreach repayment project engineers confirm it's on


It's great to hear that you are so clearly on the best side of the bell curve in all aspects of your work Lee!

What would you suggest to someone nearer the middle, perhaps with a mortgage and a couple of kids? Because unionised industries do tend to pay better for the majority (not all) of the staff.

Thankfully I'm FIRE'd, though still working because I lack the imagination to do anything else during this pandemic, but not everyone is so fortunate.


Re: Smells like manure

Just look at what happened at BA, where the staff were split between new and old contacts. The new contracts did not receive any of the expenses etc that the staff on the old contract were entitled to. Consequently BA management played one group off against the other and both groups ended up worse off.

Divide and conquer. Nothing new in this particular playbook.

Web prank horror: Man shot dead while pretending to rob someone at knife-point for a YouTube video


Re: @File_id.diz OMG

No time to load yet time to disengage a childproof lock ... are you sure about that?

My only shooting experiences have been in the cadets and then the odd clay pigeon shoot with work, but at no point did we ever leave weapons loaded. I was under the impression that after pointing it at someone, leaving it loaded was the next worst behaviour.

We regret to inform you the professor teaching your online course is already dead


Role of the lecturer

This lad is barking up the wrong tree. The whole point of university is that you set out to discover your own subject. While some skills have to be taught, hence medical school, you go to Uni' to read your subject. Professors and faculty are there to steer you and monitor your progress via seminars / tutorials but you are expected to absorb the subject yourself, as opposed to school where you are taught the facts as seen fit by the exam board.

Conversely, professors and researchers are primarily there to extend the subject, not teach students.

A bridge too far: Passengers on Sydney's new ferries would get 'their heads knocked off' on upper deck, say politicos


Thinking outside the box

Don't waste your time raising the bridges, simply flood the bottom few decks of the ferry so that it floats much, much, lower in the water.

Obvious icon!

Brit bank Barclays probed amid claims bosses used high-tech to spy on staff, measure productivity


Necessary evil

Any office operating a hotdesk policy needs to know the utilisation of desks, we have a live system that updates a noticeboard in reception so that staff know where they can find a seat (admittedly far less of a problem nowadays). The kit used to measure that usage is the flipside to being allowed / instructed to work from home at least two days a week.

No excuse for prying though.

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad


Humans are strange creatures

Not strictly speaking an IT issue, but it fits in with the general trend of denial / feigned ignorance.

Decades ago I was working for a quango and in one corner of the office a floor box fuse started regularly blowing and knocking out the kit on a bank of desks. There was much investigation, switching to alternative floor boxes, splitting the kit between different floor boxes etc, but we never got to the bottom of it and were unable to reproduce it ourselves. Then the problem seemed to go away.

All was finally explained when an office junior chose her leaving drinks as the ideal time to name and shame her team leader for plugging in a hot-air fan heater which would run for a while and then blow the fuse.Turns out that this individual knew not to use the heater, so hid it out of sight before I or the facilities manager arrived to investigate. Why her staff, who must have been pretty pissed off by the outages, never dobbed her in is another mystery.

Rental electric scooters to clutter UK street scenes after Department of Transport gives year-long trial the thumbs-up


Re: No they're not an effective means to reduce car traffic

Anti-social behaviour, blocking the pavement, parking on the pavement ... are you writing about scooter users or Audi drivers?

Thumb Up

Luckily, no one would ever dream of downloading and printing off a Lime sticker to stick to their own scooter, would they ...?

These scooters are not for me, but if it frees up a seat on the bus or a parking space at the station, I'm all for other people using them.

Frenchman scores €50k compensation for suffering 'bore-out' at work after bosses gave him 'menial' tasks


Re: Sooo....

There was a persistent rumour at Morse (later 2E2) that rather than taking disciplinary action, miscreants would be sent to work on the ‘airports’ contract. Which involved schlepping round the M25 to the London airports for purposes never explicitly stated, until they got sick of the traffic and moved elsewhere.

I never met anyone who had worked on said contract, and those telling me were usually so inept that surely had it existed they would be on it!

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you


From Beast of Redmond to ...

With a hat tip to the recent past - Neo-Beast.

UK political parties fall over themselves to win tech contractor vote by pledging to review IR35


No real contractor ...

... has just one customer for years on end.

Those of us who contract for anywhere between a weekend and six months at a time are not going to be affected by IR35.

Whilst those who stick to one client, who have to request annual leave from said client (as opposed to simply telling them that you're not available on those dates), who work the hours they're told etc are going to come unstuck.

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly



The problem with any fiddle is that it just gets bigger (ooer!).

By now they’ll be billing for enough staples to end obesity in America twice over!


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