* Posts by Blackjack

1289 posts • joined 28 Jun 2019

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo

Blackjack Silver badge

Ubuntu LTS has like ten years nowadays, right?

So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it

Blackjack Silver badge

Eh, I would just make a switch that I can push with my foot that turns my Internet connection off. Crappy Internet has become quite common during lockdown.

You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

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I have two shopping styles, one when I go to the close Supermarket, a place I don't like, were I shop at the speed of "I need to use the toilet soon" and the other when I go to the supermarket I like , but that is freaking far away, were I take a long time looking to see if there is something in discount I may want because is really far away and I don't go there a lot

CutefishOS: Unix-y development model? Check. macOS aesthetic? Check (if you like that sort of thing)

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How many Ubuntu based distros are still alive after a few years, besides Linux Mint?

BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine

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I am quite sure about a third of the readers would have fixed the Arcade machine or at least replaced it by a M.A.M.E cabinet, only it still takes money. Those lunch breaks are so long... and why play a freemium game full of ads in your phone when you can waste ten dollars for 15 minutes playing an Arcade game? After all we have to find a way for people to go back to the office... and it takes less space that a pool table!

Even better, make the thing a Coffee maker too. Play Tetris and get an expresso for the same price!

Microsoft does and doesn't require VMs to meet hardware requirements for Windows 11

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Hi, it looks you want me to keep using Windows 10, do you want help with that?

Apple, Google yank opposition voting strategy app from Russian software stores

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Living to the old Soviet standards it seems.

De-identify, re-identify: Anonymised data's dirty little secret

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I may not agree with it but Catholic priests rules say they can't have sex and or get married so this priest life would have been ruined no matter his sexual orientation.

So is not the best example.

ProtonMail deletes 'we don't log your IP' boast from website after French climate activist reportedly arrested

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Every VPN spies on you even those that say that don't. The business is in selling data not on the VPN service itself.

Lenovo pops up tips on its tablets. And by tips, Lenovo means: Unacceptable ads

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You could write a whole book with examples of Lenovo doing this in any of the things they sell.

Children of China, your state-sanctioned hour of gaming begins … now!

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So... Chinese kids will just do a lot of offline gaming instead?

Don't get me wrong, online gaming can be quite toxic but as someone who got hours of fun everyday from Animal Crossing on the DS for over a year, I can tell you that a game doesn't need to be online to make you expend a lot of time on it.

IBM sued again by its own sales staff: IT giant accused of going back on commission payments promise

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So... why are people still working for IBM?

Is that hard to get a new job?

When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers

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I have a box were I put any loose screws, nuts and bolts, once in a while I find use for them.

Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain

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All you need is ice-cream, milk and a blender. If is too cold for you just wait a few minutes for the milkshake to warm up a bit.

Sure you can add other stuff, if you want, but for me that ruins the flavour.

Playdate handheld game system torn to pieces, crank and all

Blackjack Silver badge

I still have my Gameboy but the screen is so scratched with use that's almost useless unless you play something slow paced like a RPG and even then you kind of have to guess what's on the screen. Thankfully I got a Gameboy Pocket that works just fine.

Live, die, copy-paste, repeat: Everything is recycled now, including ideas

Blackjack Silver badge

[It's the only way I can explain the rise, fall, rise, fall and rise again of handheld gaming consoles]

Nintendo never ever had a fall with them.

Since the Game & Watch to the Switch and Switch Lite; they have been making a lot of money out of them. Sure sometimes their sales slowed but then something, be it Pokemon for the original Gameboy, a price drop for the 3DS, make them rise like the Phoenix and make a lot of money.

In fact handheld gaming consoles is the one thing that Nintendo always good at and keeps giving them money.

The losers are the companies not named Nintendo.

Elevating bork to a new level (if the touchscreen worked)

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Honesty if there is one thing you DO NOT WANT to depend on an Internet connection to work in an elevator.

Cloud load balancer snafu leads to 3D printer user printing on a stranger's kit

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They took the name Spaghetti from the way they do their code it seems.

Internet Explorer 3.0 turns 25. One of its devs recalls how it ended marriages – and launched amazing careers

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Netscape installer had the bad habit on installing too much junk, like Winamp. That sure everyone liked Winamp back then but people wanted just a web browser.

Dallas cops lost 8TB of criminal case data during bungled migration, says the DA... four months later

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How expensive would be to have offline data in microfilm like some libraries do with newspaper archives?

BOFH: 'What's an NFT?' the Boss asks. In this case, 'not financially thoughtful'

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Re: I swear ...

The Rombas have never been the same since that last software update. The good news is that if you shit yourself they will get distracted and smear the shit everywhere so you have time to escape.

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Okay; does the BOFH want to deal with the accounting apartment ninjas again? Because all those fires are increasing the office insurance premiums.

And he is out of shinny hardware to bribe them with, the Windows 11 scam can't be done yet due to all Covid prep money wasted.

Chocolate beer barred from sale after child mistakes it for chocolate milk

Blackjack Silver badge

Usually vainilla, cream and chocolate. Other flavours may work.

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If you want something sweet with your drink just make a Don Pedro, that's ice-cream with Whisky.

Q: Post-lockdown, where would I like to go? A: As far away from my own head as possible

Blackjack Silver badge

You could visit the Valley of the Moon in Argentina... When traveling is possible of course.

Your Computer Is On Fire, but it will take much more than this book to put it out

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The solution is the same one that is applied to each "new thing" regulation and rules.

Implementation however is half the battle.

The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too

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Re: Maybe Windows 3.1 was a sweet spot?

I have over a dozen Windows 3 1 programs abd games that will only run on a VM but don't on Wine or Windows 7.

Splunk spots malware targeting Windows Server on AWS to mine Monero

Blackjack Silver badge

Since Monero keeps being used for stuff like this, how about banning it?

Apple is about to start scanning iPhone users' devices for banned content, professor warns

Blackjack Silver badge

Apple: We care about your privacy that's why we made Facebook and all those people whose revenue depends on tracking you angry.

Also

Apple: We will scan your photos, but is to look for banned content like people that abuse children. Do not worry, there is absolutely no way your photos that do not have anything that's banned content will be leaked and used against you.

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If this doesn't make people stop using Iphones... then what?

Slacking off? It used to be there was pretty much one place to chat with your fellow developers: IRC

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You forgot problem Zero, get people to use the thing.

Malware and Trojans, but there's only one horse the boss man wants to hear about

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To be fair Windows nowadays has certain problems with printers...

What to do with our leftover Saturn V Lego? Why, build another rocket, of course

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I have an actual typewriter, so no thanks.

We can't believe people use browsers to manage their passwords, says maker of password management tools

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Re: Mixed model

Unless they pickpocket your smartphone then they get everything.

BOFH: They say you either love it or you hate it. We can confirm you're going to hate it

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Just the Marmite?

Why not tie the guy up, coat him in honey and shove him inside an ant hill instead?

If anyone asks, just say he was an anti vaccine protester.

A bunch of apps will be able to bypass Microsoft's new store and use own update methods

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Yet another reason to not use Windows, I lost count by now.

Windows 11 comes bearing THAAS, Trojan Horse as a service

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Re: "and in a few short years we were liberated."

Yeah, Firefox is at risk of disappearing.

A beefy Linux 5.14-rc2 and light at the end of the tunnel for Paragon's NTFS driver

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Re: I admit my ignorance

That has never happened to me but I use Linux Mint and Puppy Linux Fatdog. Sure sometimes it mounts as read only but a reboot usually fixes it.

Blackjack Silver badge

I admit my ignorance

But if the FUSE driver is read and write, works more or less okay and has been tested and used for many years, why not have a version of that in the kernel instead?

Hijacked, rampaging infrastructure will kill humans by 2025 – Gartner

Blackjack Silver badge

Since the first time malware has been able to infect machines needed to keep a person alive or that help during an operation the risk has been there. There is no need for robots to kill people with malware, simply making a machine not function correctly is enough.

While hospitals do their best to never say when a death was caused by malware or a computer virus simply look at how many times people has died due to a machine not working correctly.

Also Amazon new MMO beta is literally killing video cards, can we call it malware?

You'll want to shut down the Windows Print Spooler service (yes, again): Another privilege escalation bug found

Blackjack Silver badge

So... either print on Linux or print using your Smartphone then?

Dutch Queen, robot involved in opening of 3D-printed bridge in red-light district

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Give it ten years; and you will have automated kiosks that will 3D print sex toys. You could put them to the condom machines.

Malaysian Police crush crypto-mining kit to punish electricity thieves

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If by some chance over a thousand video cards appeared in the black market in Malaysian at a cheap price, you know were they might have come from.

BOFH: But soft! What light through yonder filing cabinet breaks?

Blackjack Silver badge

I lost all my respect for the BOFH, getting into mining now? What he was doing a decade ago? Running a Counter Strike server?

Also as mining doesn't even pay the power costs, he could get way more money getting into the Video Card black market. Just replace all the office video cards for cheaper ones, hack the bios so no one notices and blame the performance drop on the latest Window update.

Or if the Video Card prices go down for some reason, just put a request for budget update with the excuse that Windows 11 won't run on their computers.

BOFH: Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can listen to you ... It keeps me stable for days

Blackjack Silver badge

Actually there are real documented cases of people biting dogs... is just that the real cases are too boring to make a movie about them.

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Re: Unlike the £1 coin...

Eh, you try that around here and the coin, and maybe a bit of the pavement, is gone the next day.

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light

Blackjack Silver badge

Amateur mistake, two fires in the same day? Hope he has enough bribe money.

Or blames a disgruntled employee... but that only works a few times.

"Oh you know, lockdown madness, he didn't want to get back to work on the Office..."

New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional

Blackjack Silver badge

If you do double time it counts as double the years, right?

You can have twelve year experience by only doing six years if you do double shift because in practice you did work the same amount of time that someone doing twelve years but put half the time, right?

That sounds like something the BOFH would say...

Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast

Blackjack Silver badge

Mushrooms or how to kill yourself with your breakfast

Every year people dies due to eating the wrong mushrooms, me? A muffin kills you way slower, thank you.

Robots still suck. It's all they can do to stand up – never mind rise up

Blackjack Silver badge

Robots can move okay in railways.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssZ_8cqfBlE

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