* Posts by Precordial thump

48 posts • joined 8 Jun 2019

0ops. 1,OOO-plus parking fine refunds ordered after drivers typed 'O' instead of '0'

Precordial thump

Re: And this ladies and gentlemen...

Most road signage in Western Australia is designed as target practice for the next hoon hanging out the passenger side window with a 12-gauge.

Precordial thump

Re: And this ladies and gentlemen...

My parents' cars were LNG070 and IOZ782. They upgraded in 1983 when I was 6 and I can still remember them.

As a Victorian, number plates have been letter-letter-letter-number-number-number since the 1950s, and they changed to number-letter-letter number-letter-letter about 5 years ago. Unless, of course, you choose your own. So if you get it wrong, you get it wrong by choice and not by chance.

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

Precordial thump

Re: You missed

Kid Fattening Centre

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN

Precordial thump

Re: took his hammer and smashed it to very tiny pieces

Chemical Engineers start at the smallest sizes, though

Sun welcomes vampire dating website company: Arrgh! No! It burns! It buuurrrrnsss!

Precordial thump

Re: Not actually an interview but....

Water hazards are less of a problem, though

You had one job... Just two lines of code, and now the customer's Inventory Master File has bitten the biscuit

Precordial thump

Re: The House of Lords

Should have imported your senate model from much further south, then.

Australian senators are elected from each of the states by proportional representation, six (sometimes twelve, it gets silly, don't ask...) of them elected each time around, for twice as long as the ones in the green house. Anyone who can muster about 15% of one state gets a seat.

Practical upshot is that it's exceedingly rare for any of the two dominant groupings to get an absolute majority, and compromise becomes a necessity. Sometimes it's with centrists, sometimes with fringe nut-jobs (witness the Motoring Enthusiasts Party), but unless an idea has consensus appeal, it's likely to be voted down.

Listening to leaders of a megalomaniac tendency (e.g. the one with the Italian suits, or the one with the eyebrows) rail against brutal reality has at least the entertainment value of watching a toddler throwing rubber toys out of the playpen, and for much the same reason.

Architect of tech contractor tax fraud scheme jailed for at least five years

Precordial thump

What the perpetrators withheld from the contractors was probably their employer-funded superannuation (which is compulsory here in the upper hemisphere, and often rorted by shady employers).

Everything must go! Distributors clear shelves of ALL notebooks in Q2, even ones gathering dust over last 12 months

Precordial thump

Re: Do you ever change your mind, based on data?t

Ruby and Perl programmers

Trump reveals US cyber-attack on Russian election-misdirection troll farms

Precordial thump

Re: Has anyone checked the Tea Leaves?

His Orangeness was impeached for bringing influence to bear on Ukraine in 2018 to make it appear as if Joe Biden was linked to allegedly corrupt activities.

Allegations of back channel communications between Russia and Trump Tower during the 2016 election campaign have never been tested in court. This might have something to do with the effects investigating those events might have on the employment prospects of certain DoJ officials.

Whether soliciting foreign aid to influence the result of a democratic process in one's own country is treason is therefore left as an exercise for the voter.

Linux kernel coders propose inclusive terminology coding guidelines, note: 'Arguments about why people should not be offended do not scale'

Precordial thump

Re: Any word might offend almost anyone.....so......

Your gratuitous and repeated use of "char" is triggering the memory of all my Wiccan ancestors so callously burned at the stake by religiose imperialists and male chauvinists, you insensitive <del>bastard</del>love child.

Well bork me sideways: A railway ticket machine lies down for a little Windoze

Precordial thump

Recently made the journey from Singapore to Penang by rail. All of the stations were purely functional modern architecture except Kuala Lumpur. While the main KL Sentral was a cavernous concrete and steel multi level thing, the original Kuala Lumpur station, I think Edwardian vintage, is a fascinating pseudo-Indian Mughal architecture, combined with the KTMB (Malaysian Railways) headquarters across the road, quite astonishing.

Linux Mint 20 isn't exactly bursting with freshness but, hey, there's kernel 5.4 and it's a long-term support release

Precordial thump

Re: Linux flavours

How do you detect the odour of something that doesn't exist?

CompSci student bitten by fox after feeding it McNuggets

Precordial thump

Re: Once caught

de: Schaf = sheep

Sounds like his ancestors knew more about them than he did. Curious as to exactly how, though...

Precordial thump

Yeah, nah mate. Here in Straya we start semesters in the height of summer. Makes it harder for the freshers to spot the tiger snakes in the long grass.

GitHub to replace master with main across its services

Precordial thump

If fish can't program in the C, where else do you suggest they do it?

At least reptiles can program in Python.

Mortal wombat: 4 generations of women fight for their lives against murderous marsupial

Precordial thump

Re: Dubbo is afraid

The name's Bogan. James Bogan. Licensed to... harm wombats.

Precordial thump

Re: Dubbo is afraid

Yeah, but is it planning, is it industry, or is it environment?

Precordial thump

Dubbo is afraid

I read that under the NSW Biodiversity Conservation Act 2016 it is illegal to harm a wombat "unless a licence is obtained from the Department of Planning, Industry and Environment."

Where can I apply for my wombat-harming license?

Precordial thump

Quoted as FreeBSD fortunes 3, 1562 of 2181

First there was Dial-A-Prayer, then Dial-A-Recipe, and even Dial-A-Footballer.

But the south-east Victorian town of Sale has produced one to top them all.


It all began early yesterday when Sale police received a telephone call: "You won't believe this, and I'm not drunk, but there's a wombat in the phone booth outside the town hall," the caller said.

Not firmly convinced about the caller's claim to sobriety, members of the constabulary drove to the scene, expecting to pick up a drunk.

But there it was, an annoyed wombat, trapped in a telephone booth.

The wombat, determined not to be had the better of again, threw its bulk into the fray. It was eventually lassoed and released in a nearby scrub.

Then the officers received another message ... another wombat in another phone booth.

There it was: *Another* angry wombat trapped in a telephone booth.

The constables took the miffed marsupial into temporary custody and released it, too, in the scrub.

But on their way back to the station they happened to pass another telephone booth, and -- you guessed it -- another imprisoned wombat.

After some serious detective work, the lads in blue found a suspect, and after questioning, released him to be charged on summons.

Their problem ... they cannot find a law against placing wombats in telephone booths.

-- "Newcastle Morning Herald", NSW Australia, Aug 1980.

Made-up murder claims, threats to kill Twitter, rants about NSA spying – anything but mention 100,000 US virus deaths, right, Mr President?

Precordial thump

lockdowns ... and all that does not actually save anyone from coronavirus

Um... New Zealand? Australia?

Take your head out of the echo chamber from time to time.

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

Precordial thump

It's a self-preservation strategy

It's the ones that float that are the hardest to get rid of

Australian contact-tracing app leaks telling info and increases chances of third-party tracking, say security folks

Precordial thump

Re: Lockdowns aside

-a bus commute home is a very big exception

-who have your students been near today?

-who has your wife been near today?

Some people (such as essential service workers) still have a normal work day's exposure to a random selection of our community even with a lockdown in force. Can you tell me who on your bus is a nurse? An ambo? The bloke who cleans the public toilet? If we could predict modes of transmission we would not have gotten into this mess in the first place. Meanwhile, we need data.

Precordial thump

Speaking as a front-line health care worker who does know what the app claims to do and how it claims to do it, I'm prepared to recognise its imperfections and say to everyone in this country who can: download it. Use it.

Australia is tantalisingly close to completely suppressing this thing. Yes, the epidemiology that the app is based on is probabilistic, but, guess what: transmission of the virus is probabilistic over a population.

And if, $deity forbid, clusters start popping up again, then we need to put data into the hands of public health physicians quickly. Contact tracing stops small clusters becoming big ones. That is the sole function of the app.

Dumpster diving to revive a crashing NetWare server? It was acceptable in the '90s

Precordial thump

Re: Dear Reg...

My Discordian Calendar tells me it's the 44th of Discord. Interestingly, China publically announced its first COVID-19 case on the 2nd of Chaos...

COBOL-coding volunteers sought as slammed mainframes slow New Jersey's coronavirus response

Precordial thump

Re: Despair

Ohm my god!

Real-time tragedy: Dumb deletion leaves librarian red-faced and fails to nix teenage kicks on the school network

Precordial thump

Ook! (Librarian)

Asterix co-creator Albert Uderzo dies aged 92

Precordial thump

Re: Farewell and RIP

Is that the one in Mogo?

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

Precordial thump

Pratchett references (2)

... pointing out that not feeding the elephant when there was no elephant to not feed was not, in fact, impossible.

Thief of Time, once again. A desert-island book if ever there was one.

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers

Precordial thump

Re: In 1998...

Sam Gamgee only needed Sting (elf blade, not singer) to crack open his beast. Not sure if the orcs inside returned to nature.

Precordial thump

Re: The devils foam

The acronym PHY just gave me the most astonishing mental image of what the Pimple-Haired Youth would look like...

What’s that Skippy? Google’s coughed up $330m in tax Down Under?

Precordial thump

I'd believe ABC reporting before anything I read on, to pick a tax evader at random, Zuckerberg's spin factory. ABC has a legislated obligation to be accurate.

Happy Artemis Day everybody! NASA preps its monster rocket for testing

Precordial thump

It's due to the US's stubborn refusal to adopt metric units. They're clearly using imperial %s. Remember, that's why they lost that Mars orbiter.

Why can't you be a nice little computer maker and just GET IN THE TRUNK, Xerox tells HP in hostile takeover alert

Precordial thump

Xerox to launch takeover bid for Wurlitzer

Plan to market a reproductive organ...

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light

Precordial thump

Re: Speed of light

To be served on an infinite frictionless flat plate, naturally...

Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?

Precordial thump

Cognitive dissonance - test of candidate's smoking status

MCQ 1.

The insides of a smoker's lungs look

a) better

b) worse

than the insides of their computer.

Precordial thump


Xerox and Wurlitzer contemplated a merger at one stage ... they wanted to market a reproductive organ.

How do we stop filling the oceans with Lego? By being a BaaS-tard, toy maker suggests

Precordial thump

Obligatory xkcd

Lego makes more tyres than any other company on earth

'We go back to the Moon to stay': Apollo vets not too chuffed with NASA's new rush to the regolith

Precordial thump

There's an alleged nuclear power plant near Pripyat that fell to pieces decades ago...

(too soon?)

Here we go again: US govt tells Facebook to kill end-to-end encryption for the sake of the children

Precordial thump

(channeling Ali G)

No, the FB, Aiiiiii

.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job

Precordial thump

Re: Union Flag distress signal

Switzerland is a great country! Their flag is a big plus, as well...

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

Precordial thump

Re: And how do you show a space

By that logic, we no longer need both "look" and "see". Which one will we get rid of?

Cloud, internet biz will take a Yellowhammer to the head in 'worst case' no-deal Brexit

Precordial thump

Re: What's in a name?

Is misleading parliament a crime? I think it's consistently held as grounds for resignation, but that would require the perpetrator to have a sense of shame.

Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

Precordial thump

Re: Deliberately obnoxious

Surprised the other dialogue didn't have Elvish subtitles in Tengwar...

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson moves to shut Parliament

Precordial thump

You can't wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Summer vacations put an end to rampant desktop crimewave

Precordial thump

Maybe this is where they've gone

Finally, an answer to the age-old question, "where have all the bloody teaspoons gone?"

Keep a lookout for the HHGTTG reference.

It's so hot, UK needs to start naming heatwaves like we do when it's a bit windy – climate boffins

Precordial thump


Ours are called February and March.

Could you just pop into the network room and check- hello? The Away Team. They're... gone

Precordial thump

Re: Not an explosion, just my own daftness...


Defibrillator Capacitor

Capacitance range: 32 to 200 uF.

Rated Energy:150 to 500 Joules.

Dissipation factor 120 Hz: 2.5X10-3.

Rated voltage: 1800 to 6000 VDC.

Test Voltage : Between terminals: 110% rated DC voltage for 10 seconds. Terminal to case: Up to 10 KVDC.

Typical operating life: 2000 to 10,000 Cycles.

Temperature range: -40°C to 65°C.

I've worked with these for 20 years and never seen or heard of one exploding. Suddenly I feel very glad of that. I suppose to overload one of those to the point of detonation takes more than one wall socket.

There's a reason why my cat doesn't need two-factor authentication

Precordial thump

Re: Schengen sucks and everyone is looking the other way

Then imagine the fun you can have, being a citizen of a non-EU non-Schengen country whose government had in place visa waiver agreements with most Western European countries before Schengen came into force. These agreements are still in force. The Schengen countries are obliged to respect them, regardless of the 90/180 limitations and regardless of time already spent in other Schengen countries. And there's a convenient chain of nations, from Scandinavia down to Spain, every one of which says they'll grant you a 60-90 day visa on arrival.

If you can prove you were legally in each one of that chain of countries, and in the country you're in at the moment, it's possible for such a non-EU citizen to stay in the Schengen area for nearly two and a half years. Legally. Visit the UK somewhere in there, however briefly, and with the right timing you can reset the clock entirely.

And then try explaining that to the NESB plod who asks to see your passport.


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