* Posts by Aussie Doc

701 posts • joined 3 Jun 2019

Page:

BOFH: You want presentation layer, but we're physical layer

Aussie Doc
Flame

Re: The Reverse

"... hardware failure of her laptop (Not related)..."

Not related *wink wink*.

Of course.

We understand.

Totally.

Chinese researchers make car glide 35mm above ground in maglev test

Aussie Doc

Re: My favourite 'tube

Had to give a real belly laugh right at the end with the 'passenger carrying vehicle'.

"...and Barry, if you'll start this one, I'll have to go and catch it because this is rather expensive".

Aussie Doc
Black Helicopters

Re: Bumby rides ahead

I used to have a neat Scalextric setup in my upstairs bedroom when I were a young'un.

Used to enjoy playing with it when I could.

Unfortunately because it used to cause such interference with the downstairs telly, I could only do it when there was nobody else home.

So basically twice a year :-(

Not as fast as a chopper --->

Microsoft rolls out stealthy updates for 365 Apps

Aussie Doc
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Time to dig out that utility...

I hear 'Mouse Jiggler' is useful for this:

https://mouse-jiggler.en.uptodown.com/windows

Can't say I use it myself - Linux Mint is my goto so it updates quietly whilst I do my thing.

Chemical plant taken offline by the best one of all: C8H10N4O2

Aussie Doc
Joke

Now a has-bean...

Clearly grounds for instant dismissal.

USB-C to hit 80Gbps under updated USB4 v. 2.0 spec

Aussie Doc
Windows

Re: Longer cable

You 'ad string?

We were so poor ours were stringless.

Tell young'uns today and they'll believe you coz now they've got 'wireless' and all.

Here's da talking into his can --->

Zuckerberg: Yes, Facebook kept Hunter Biden's laptop under wraps

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: A Dutch saying

Easy for you to say.

Presumably --->

DuckDuckGo says Hell, Hell, No to those Microsoft trackers after web revolt

Aussie Doc
Joke

Don't worry...

...as long as nobody types 'DuckDuckGo' into DuckDuckGo we should be fine.

Anti-piracy messaging may just encourage more piracy

Aussie Doc
Trollface

Is it just me...

...or did anyone else misread this part: "...Similarly, anti-piracy ads ARR, the authors say,..."

BOFH: Selling the boss on a crypto startup

Aussie Doc
Devil

Oo...

...To be honest, I like the boss's way of thinking.

Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked

Aussie Doc
Trollface

Re: My dad bought a laptop from a car boot sale

Wise move.

Would probably make you forever 35 minutes late each day.

NASA's Lunar Orbiter spots comfortably warm 'pits' all over the Moon

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re: In Space...

Well, my wife and I make a point of never going to bed angry.

We've been awake since last Friday.

We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything

Aussie Doc
Trollface

Re: Don't know if it's just that my coffee hasn't kicked in yet...

What are you saying?

He just copied it?

Improve Linux performance with this one weird trick

Aussie Doc
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Disable swap

Kernel Panic is gonna be the name of my new Heavy Metal band.

On lead guitar is Chad the cad, Nic Arsen on bass, Aggie on the silver, chromium drums, with Van the Man providing vocals.

Hope to go platinum soon.

Nobody on keyboard --->

CAPSTONE mission is Moon-bound, after less rocketry than expected

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: Cool acronym

You are Jason Bourne and I claim my $5.

So I can buy one of these -->

Large Hadron Collider experiment reveals three exotic particles

Aussie Doc
Coat

Great stuff!

Quarks.

Always was my favourite Bar, Grill, Gaming House and Holosuite Arcade back in the day.

So relaxing after a day of --->

You need to RTFM, but feel free to use your brain too

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re:

I came to say something similar but for footwear rather than underwear.

Here in Oz thongs usually comes in pairs and are worn on feet (or thrown at head by angry mum).

AKA flip-flops in some places, I believe.

Still, these days auto-correct will have anybody typing something they didn't Nintendo.

Elon Musk flogs $8.4bn of Tesla shares amid Twitter offer drama

Aussie Doc
Big Brother

Actually...

...if you use something like uBlock Origin, you can block that popup/specific element and continue to see as much as you want of twitter.

I'm in no way suggesting that is necessarily a good thing just that it's what I do if I get the 'urge' to want to see more <shudder>.

He can't see you --->

The time you solved that months-long problem in 3 seconds

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: Fuck that

As a professional lazy person, I concur with your grandad's statement.

I always told my clients that I'm so lazy that I only want to do the job once so it needs to be done properly.

A few of them can remember finding out the hard way with the old "If you don't have time to backup data (or pay somebody to set it up), do you have the time to re-type it all over again?"

Always time for one of those --->

Russian IT pros flee Putin, says tech lobby group

Aussie Doc
Black Helicopters

Re: Oh well!

Specifically a sunflower bed, I'm led to believe.

Watch out for drones --->

Apple seeks patent for 'innovation' resembling the ZX Spectrum, C64 and rPi 400

Aussie Doc
Coat

What?

So, how does this work in the real world? Were the original 'innovations' not patented so now Apple takes out a patent and can now sue retrospectively?

Never understood how this stuff works.

Certainly, both my Amiga 500 and 1200 beg to differ that Apple is being innovative. Not sure if I still have my C64.

My coat has a dust rag in the pocket ---->

CIA illegally harvested US citizens' data, senators assert

Aussie Doc
Facepalm

But wait...

Everything's fine.

I found the list of all the folks known to be surprised:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

...

India bans drone imports to help local manufacturers take off

Aussie Doc
Joke

Hmm

"...based on a premise of trust, self-certification and non-intrusive monitoring." ®

That always seem to work well, doesn't it.

'Admin error': AWS in dead company data centre planning application snafu in Oxfordshire

Aussie Doc
Coat

Re: Why on earth would AWS want to build 3 datacentres so close together?

You 'ad operating systems?

My slate's in my pocket.

Snap continues to make a spectacle of itself as it tries to trademark the word spectacles

Aussie Doc
Boffin

Ha

Trademark 'Spectacles'?

Can't see it myself.

Even though I'm wearing them like this guy --->

Heart attack victim 'saved' by defibrillator delivery drone*

Aussie Doc
Black Helicopters

Re: Doctors...

Here in Oz (at least in my part out bush) there are AEDs outside Post Offices as well as other well-frequented places such as some parks, in shopping centres, some major bus depots and the like.

Our various 'helping' orgs (such as Lions) oft times have fundraising for them.

Being isolated we then wait for one of these or a plane ----->

A moment of tension as the James Webb Space Telescope stretches sunshield on way to L2 destination

Aussie Doc
Pint

Yep...

...love of my life is a gardener on has her own system. When asked by folk about inter-seed distance she talks in terms of fingers - "Plant them two finger widths apart".

Sounds much more sensible to this non green thumb.

Comes from a plant --->

You wood not believe what a Japanese logging company and university want to use to build a small satellite

Aussie Doc
Coat

Re: Oh dear

Sounds oak-ay to me.

Sandpaper's in my pocket --->

You've stolen the antiglare shield on that monitor you've fixed – they say the screen is completely unreadable now

Aussie Doc
Coffee/keyboard

Hmm

We need another round of 'Show Us Your Worst Computer' pics, methinks.

Or maybe not.

Wi-Fi not working? It's time to consult the lovely people on those fine Linux forums

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: oh...

"...or the USB-A plug that fits quite comfortably into an Ethernet port but accomplishes nothing useful. "

If I could take a liberty and repost one of my older answers here:

"Whenever I got the calls that meant I had to travel a long way (not hard living in the middle of nowhere!) I would always insist that the person turn off any obvious power outlets and unplug the power cord and tell me if one of the metal prongs had a bright yellow line running down one side.

For the record, as far as I know, no Australian plug has ever had a bright yellow line anywhere to be seen.

Them: No, I can't see one on the plug.

Me: Is there one on the off switch when it's turned off?

Them: No, that's clear, too.

Me: Okay. Just try and replug it in, turn her on and see how it goes.

Them: Well, fuck me, it's working now.

Me: I bet it's those damn cheap power outlets.

Them: See you in the pub next time you're in the neighbourhood.

Works every time and no feelings are hurt."

Rinse and repeat with the cable (and beverage) of choice.

Who you gonna call? Premium numbers, but a not-so-premium service

Aussie Doc
Coat

Re: One of my earliest hacks ...

In a previous life/different century, my drum teacher's phone number was one digit off of Ansett Australia (popular airline) bookings desk.

Old Jack, for that was his name, was always very polite informing the callers of their error and most would apologise and that was that.

Except for when he got those arrogant folk who have the audacity to tell him that HIS number IS the correct one because they are very important and thus know better.

I don't think Jack kept tabs of how many folks thought they had been booked onto a non-existent flight.

I'm sure arguing with the folks at the counter would have been no fun.

Can't find a ticket, either. --->

Aussie Doc
Flame

Re: 555

Ah, obviously not 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 then.

A lot of thought went into that one, I'm sure.

Facebook expands bug bounty program to include scraping attacks, two years after it was scraped – hard

Aussie Doc
Pint

Oops...

Slightly drunk me thought it said "scrapping facebook" and I got real (not really) excited.

Saturday night O' Clock here in Oz.

Stay safe fellow commentards.

National Cyber Strategy will lead to BritChip for mobile devices by 2025, claims UK.gov

Aussie Doc
Facepalm

No sensible title here

But Shirley this is a great strategy that's been laid out.

It's got some cybering, a bit of quantuming, a couple of cyber offensivenesses, some proud 'UK designing', lots of threats/promises of money being spent, a catchy name (BritChip) and, of course, some security-ing.

Plenty of buzz words.

What more could you ask for?

Oh, it's for real?

Had me there for a minute.

RAF shoots down 'terrorist drone' over US-owned special ops base in Syria

Aussie Doc
Black Helicopters

Hmm

I'm no great terrorist mastermind but I would think that they could cause the 'good guys' to waste a lot of money and resources by having multiple, random, bulk numbers of 'cheap' drones, some armed, some not, simply fly around causing significant nuisance to the base and environs.

I would also imagine that there are already SOPs in place to deal with such a threat.

My old brain seems to recall this actually happened somewhere not that long ago, too. Anyone else remember?

NixOS and the changing face of Linux operating systems

Aussie Doc
Linux

Wow

No offence but the username checks out.

Utility biz Delta-Montrose Electric Association loses billing capability and two decades of records after cyber attack

Aussie Doc
Trollface

Re:

"Will they be penalised instead?"

Probably not - Customers would have some resistance, I'd think.

American diplomats' iPhones reportedly compromised by NSO Group intrusion software

Aussie Doc
Facepalm

Hmmm

"...criminals and pedophiles."

Say what?

Pension cold-calling financial services biz cops largest ever fine from UK data watchdog

Aussie Doc
Facepalm

Wow

Next up from the ICO, a strongly worded letter.

That'll really scare folk.

/s

Swooping in to claim the glory while the On Call engineer stands baffled

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: Hey Rob!

Used to have an Austin A30.

Dead battery for nearly a couple of years.

Used to wind it up with a cranking handle to start it - no problems.

Only bought a new battery to impress then girlfriend now love of my life.

Back when you got a manual and set of tools with the vehicle!

RIP old car.

Aussie Doc
Windows

Re: Hey Rob!

Reminds me of the story of the old drunk walking passed a bloke looking under the bonnet of his Merc.

"What's up?" says the drunk.

"Piston broke." says our Merc man.

"Me too." comes the reply.

Boom, tish.

Russia's orbital insanity is almost beyond redemption – but there's space for improvement

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re: English!

Don't worry, happens to the best of us.

I thought it was ritual origami - a really severe form of paper cut.

NASA boffins seem to think we're worth saving from fiery asteroid death so they're shooting a spaceship at one

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re: Impacts are not always bad

You obviously haven't met my neighbours.

A lightbulb moment comes too late to save a mainframe engineer's blushes

Aussie Doc
Pint

Re: I had a somewhat similar problem

The complete message was probably "Sorry, emergency stop procedure not yet implemented. Please have your emergency elsewhere."

Cider all round. ----->

Is your Apple Mac running macOS Monterey leaking memory? It may be due to mouse cursor customization

Aussie Doc
Big Brother

Re: That is a barefaced lie!

"I'm posting this anonymously as my Apple username is too similar to my name here."

Does this mean your cover is blown now?

From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'

Aussie Doc
Coat

Re: There's a monster in the garden

Here in Oz one of the scariest sounds is when you go camping in the bush and there's a koala or two up the local gum trees during the night.

They have a blood-curdling, low growl.

When we got married my partner and I, being hippies, went camping for our honeymoon.

We were awoken late into the night by the previously described sounds.

Took ages with torches to finally see the culprits in the tree growling whilst looking like they're yawning.

Yeah, cute but probably want to kill you in your sleep like most stuff here.

Could be worse - could be drop bears. Now they are deadly ;-)

Always check your jackets and boots. ----------->

The Ministry of Silly Printing: But I don't want my golf club correspondence to say 'UNCLASSIFIED' at the bottom

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re: Way Back...

I was always taught to use a dictaphone.

That way you didn't break your nails.

Boom, tish and all that.

Say what you see: Four-letter fun on a late-night support call

Aussie Doc
Joke

Re: The joys of the phonetic alphabet

Reminds me of the very old couple who were about to get married and were discussing 'sex'.

"Is infrequently one word or two?" he asked.

Yeah, boom tish and all that.

Aussie Doc
Windows

Re: The joys of the phonetic alphabet

Ah.

I see you've met my uncles.

Labour Party supplier ransomware attack: Who holds ex-members' data and on what legal basis?

Aussie Doc
Big Brother

Re: Didn't Labour recently recruit a former Israeli Spy

"...I'd be deeply suspicious of any foreign national with a military intelligence background..."

To be fair, I would expect any 'real' spy-type person to be a tad more inconspicuous than that but then I don't know much about how the spy world works.

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