Posts by Marky W

'Switch to Century Gothic to save the planet'

Lazy Bar Steward

If you're here on an IT site, I assume you can work Google, or even navigate to the modern-day wonder that is Wikipedia (which despite its myriad faults, is more than good enough for this).

Bill Gates goes (mini) nuclear

I agree, but....

...this just sounds too good to be true. The (very simplistic) explanatation of the process makes it sound like a piece of cake, which begs the question why it's taken so long to get going. (Hell, it's not like the best minds in science haven't been working on nuclear power and weapons for 80 years or so).

All smells a bit too much like a marketing push worthy of those crooks at Steorn. From the pamphlet "the TWR can theoretically run forever". Ah-ha-ha-ha. No.

Blighty gives Street View the bum's rush

Indeed

It brings a tear to the eye.

I haven't been so proud to be British since The Sun flew a RC chopper carrying a McDonalds meal round that twatdangling merkin.

Hobbit cameras start rolling in July

A solution

Do not go and see it.

This has the twin benefits of leaving you happier and sparing the rest of us from your pointless moaning.

BT rolls out new, 'competitive' consumer deals

Thank You!

Top boffinry.

I is an IT halfwit....

...welll at least compared to the average Reg reader, I suspect. Still end up helping half the luddites at work with special requests like "how do I do sums in Word like in Excel because I need to do a graph". Sheesh.

Anyway, can any of you nice people expand on Lewis's comment on querying the router to determine max possible speed? Sounded pretty interesting, if true.

Ta.

Samsung to bundle glasses with 3D TVs

Troll or retard?

See title.

Hull Daily Mail exposes depraved local porncoder

Oooo, what to write for a title. Nope, can't think of a thing.

Heh, despite promising to remove offensive messages, this early one still remains:

"Paul knocked up a couple of site for me - some travel sites, tours of Bangkok and the region, that sort of thing.

Paul Gadd, Not tellin yer "

Given their floor-scrapingly low tolerance level for 'offensive' surely that would qualify with bells on.

Forget SETI, this is how you find aliens: Hefty prof speaks

Plagiarist!!

Is it just me, of has the prof just rifled through the average SF fan's bookshelf and pinched a load of the material found therein? Granted much of SF is inspired by 'proper' scientific research, but either way this guy is saying nothing (at all!) I haven't read in fiction over the years (e.g. the shadow biosphere in 'Behemoth', or the ephemeral nature of civilisations in, oooh, a shit-load of places).

BBC confirms death of 6Music, slashes online budget by a quarter

Here's an idea...

How about 'redirecting' the £600m back to the licence payer.

Money-wasting tossers.

With MS funding, No2ID gains entry to EU eID group

Well done MS

I'm sure there will be some cynical comments posted, but I for one say 'well done Microsoft'.

'Clumsy' French cop tasers schoolkid

Lighten up

and have one of those

<----

Sci-fi and fantasy authors wade into Amazon spat

I think you are lost

This is not 'Have Your Say'.

Or did you just use the twat-o-tron?

iPad forces operators to shave their SIMs

Heh!

Nice alt-text on the piccy. Matryoshka-tastic!

Google reveals nonexistent Chrome tablet

Dude, seriously....

....that was waaay to obvious. Even though you're right.

Apple's 'latest creation' debuts January 27

iDontCare

*claps*

Regulator warns on school CCTV schemes

Seriously

So no-one, throughout the whole decision process, then the installation process, thought "some parents might possibly object to a [presumably] poorly-controlled group of people having access to footage of a childrens' changing room".

Jee-sus H Ker-iced. <shakes head>

Student boffins take on iTunes' not-so-smart Genius

Hey, old dudes!

Liking The Shadows means you might like Herman's Hermits, does it?

Sounds reasonable, as both are so archaic they might as well be playing lutes. Oh, verily, sirrah.

Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

To many puns...

...not enough time.

Must do work. Mortgage to pay. Kids to feed. Aaaaaaaaaaarggggurglewheeeee.....

Where *are* those dried-frog pills?

Apple Store down - new cultware coming?

Some sexy kit there now

Loving the new mouse especially. It's the simpler things that make the difference...

WikiReader feeds you factiness on the go

Imagine the scene, if you will....

So there was this meeting, right, and the guy from marketing, you know, the one with all the sell options on Openmoko stock, did this presentation. Well, you wouldn't believe what he persuaded the board to do....

Beer, because the people who green-lit the WikiReader sure must have imbibed a few.

Murdoch says Page 3 won't be free from next year

Oh Noes!

No Page 3! If only there was another source of topless women on the internet!

Pff. Whatever.

Boffins guess social security numbers via public data

Success rates also rise when the researchers got more guesses

"Success rates also rise when the researchers got more guesses"

No.

Shit.

Sherlock.

New green and quiet jet-engine test results announced

Benefits of GFT

Problem with existing fans is that as they get larger then the tip speed gets too high to remain efficient. Transonic blades have been around for a bit but not as good as an all subsonic jobby. Gearing down helps this, obviously.

Secondly, its more efficient to produce thrust using a lot of slow air rather than a smaller amount of fast air. If I remember correctly this is because jets are basically momentum exchange devices, swapping increased air momentum going backward for aircraft momentum going forwards. As momentum is proportional to velocity, but kinetic energy (which you get from your fuel's chemical energy) is proportional to velocity squared then fast jets are worse, as they need more fuel for the same momentum exchange. Again, the GTF is better suited for laaaaaarge bypass and the oodles of lardy air that come with them.

I hesitated in using the 'tech content' icon, as this is all very fuzzily remembered. Feel free to dismantle in as sarcastic a manner as you like.

Charges against London tube tourist snapper thrown out

@ "# witty title goes here" 11:37

Surely "Paris, because I'd like to ride her tube" was the way to go there. Or maybe you wouldn't. I know I would.

Dribble.

Penguin-free Linux 2.6.29 kernel released

New trousers please!

ZOMG I seem to have soiled myself with excitement!!

My mistake, it was actually just a loss of motor control brought on by extreme indifference.

Zzzzz.....

Police ad urges: 'Trust no one'

During the war....

This really makes me uncomfortable.

I suspect the rozzers think they are appealing to our wartime spirit; working together to face a (greatly exaggerated) threat to us all.

However to me, and I suspect a lot of other Reg readers, it smells like the ugly bastard child of McCarthyism and the Stazi.

I'd emigrate, but I don't know where to go. US - f*ck no, Canada - too cold, Oz - firewall bobbins, NZ - too far from anywhere. Any ideas? English speaking only please, I'm too lazy to learn any foreign.

World's first proper flying car makes debut flight

I think the word is....

....fugly

Ice in fuel feed caused Heathrow 777 crash

@Garbo

Nope. You should have chosen Paris for that comment.

On all Airbus/Boeing types (and probably all other modern passenger aircraft) there's NO insulation or heating in any of the tanks (aside from minimal excess heat from fuel pumps), or on any of the pipes. The risk of hot things in contact with flammable vapour is somewhat frowned upon by the airworthiness authorities, especially after TWA800 came down (centre tank explosion). Failure mode testing of fuel pumps in particular is now *very* extensive.

Travelling at Mach 0.8 plus provides a moderate heating effect (meaning total air temperature - TAT - is several degrees higher than ambient). That said, aircraft still have to descend to warmer air on occasion, although this is quite rare and mostly on very long sectors.

Finally, draining water sumps is only done every few weeks (up to a month in some cases). The thermal mass of remaining fuel and of the airframe means that accumulated water usually remains frozen during a turnaround, and of course many parts of the world are below freezing for months at a time. Airlines in these regions have to put aircraft into a (warm) hanger for hours to drain water effectively. The operators find this to be a pain in the arse, as you might expect.

Superfast-charging batteries? Whoa there, MIT

@Michael Gorner @ The Lovely Sarah

While part 2 of Michaels post was rightly (and deliciously) slapped down by Mistress Bee, his points of the first part are valid, if badly put.

Just because the material can take 10 seconds to be fully charged in a lab with its sooper dooper power supply doesn't mean it should be charged at that rate in the home. My phone charger is rated at 240V / 130mA (say 30W ignoring the faintly-remembered phase-angle gubbins which may-or-may-not be relevant). A battery capable of taking 150W would mean it would charge in 18mins rather than the usual 90mins; a whopping improvement, and one which wouldn't result in wearing oven gloves to use it afterwards.

'Ich bin ein storyteller', says UK taxman

Won't somebody think of the children!!

Sitting there, excitedly waiting for storytime, glass of milk and bowl of sauerkraut in hand....

BlackBerry advert sticks it to Apple

@Ian Davies

Ooooo!! Handbag?

Ares I manned rocket section explodes in testing

Cool.

That is all.

Google gives Chrome spit 'n' polish treatment, says report

Widgets/Add-ons/Extentions

I like chrome. It's quick to start, and the interface is nice and clean. I'd probably switch if I could take all my coveted FF extensions with me (I'm sure I'm not alone in this, or that I'll be the only person to comment on the fact). Bolt-on functionality for Chrome is 100% assured at some time.

HOWEVER, the big G will have to come up a new name for these pearls of goodness. "Cling-ons" perhaps? Or "G-spots"?

Any other suggestions...

Google OS gOS - if at first you don't succeed...

I like these articles because...

...even though so many commentards suspect the articles are at least half-troll, they....just....can't....resist....commenting....like the 'tards that they are.

and yes i know i am commenting too, thank you very muchly.

articles 6/10; comments 9/10

Satanic net neologisms - nominations invited

So many, so many...

!!!1 - Not funny

!!!!1!!one - Still not funny

!!!!!1!!!!eleventyone!!! - STILL NOT FUCKING FUNNY

Oh, and 'O RLY' sucks the fat one too.

US couple sue over McNudes

They live where?

Is it just me...

Whenever I look at 'Fayetteville', my brain applies some sort of Americojudgemental(TM) filter and processes it as 'Fattyville'.

MS: Xbox will not go Blu

SD v HD v full-HD bollocks

People seem to be missing the point a bit. Yes you can see the difference between 720 and 1080 on a desktop monitor, but only because you are 50cm from the f*cking screen!! If the viewing angle subtended by my telly was the same as by my monitor, then my telly would be 6ft f*cking tall. Which it isn't. Obviously.

I've got a 32" 720p LCD, and I assure you that you'd need to be a sodding eagle to tell the difference between that and a similar-sized 1080p at 3-4m (where the sofa is).

Yes ok you've got a 72" plasma with home-cinema, well whoop-dee-f*cking-doo, you're in a small minority. And NO, the respondents on this page a NOT a representative sample of the telly-buying public. So there.

Has anyone seen my pills?

History shaped Google's Trojan Horse

ooooo comments

Fine article.

A lot of what the G-Men have said and done recently - and I mean during the past 12 months at least - promises utopia but smells of smoke and mirrors. Their underlying business model of punting adverts means that, whatever they produce, it ends up irritating me sooner or later. Then I'm back to 'proper' open source apps or (the horror, oh the horror) paying for my software.

Raptor and Eurofighter go head to head

Yawn

To echo many of the other comments, the coverage of these once-interesting topics is becoming repetitive and stale.

We are all aware of Lewis' prejudices and opinions on these matters, so could another writer have a go at the Farnborough military articles? Pretty please? With sugar on the top?

Paris - because while she's repetitive, she remains interesting (in a can't-take-my-eyes-off-the-car-crash-that-her-life-is-becoming kind of way).

CherryPal out sweetens Apple with 2W, ultra-cheap PC

Logo fun

Aimed at kids, eh?

Is it just me or is that cherry logo just begging for a little tippex modification to resemble certain body parts. Assuming kids still use tippex, not as much fun since they changed the thinners into something less mind-expanding. When I were a lad etc, etc....

Taxi for one.

Toffs' phone maker goes loco over Rococo

@ oh dear

but comprehensive functionality isn't really the point; these are beautifully crafted pieces of jewelry that also happen to make phone calls. and as someone who only makes voice calls and texts, i'd love one.

see also:

patek philippe watch vs. casio calculator watch

prada handbag vs. a rucksack

Elonex £99 Eee PC rival to arrive in June

@ScientologyIsACult

Hmm.

It would be just _rude_ of me to make a decision like that without test driving the merchandise.

It's the brown mac. Yes, that's it, the grubby one.

Halo Master Chief armour offered on eBay

Cool! No, it's not. Yes it is. No it's not (ad infinitum)

I want this. But I can't think of a single place I could wear it without looking like a complete twat.

So I don't really want it at all.

But (deep down, tragically) I do. Maybe I could could just sit and play Halo wearing it. On my own. With the curtains drawn. Yes, that would work. I'd be a happy twat, but still a twat nonetheless.

I wonder if they do warthog bodykits for the fiesta....

Ryanair battles ASA over 'saucy schoolgirl' ad

cheap publicity

ryanair are masters of this sort of thing:

step 1: push boundaries until someone complains

step 2: wait patiently for authorities to react

step 3: act all aggreived and baffled and issue sarcastic statement

step 4: watch as media give it wide coverage, worth orders of

magnitude more than initial add

step 5: watch the cash roll in

i'd rather stick pins in my eyes than fly with these b*stards, but you can't help but admire their gall.

ryanair's full response is worth a chuckle (link), as are many of their other news releases.

http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/news.php?yr=08&month=jan&story=reg-en-300108-2

US boffins create darkest material ever

But do they make a decent cup of tea?

Nanotubes, nanotubes, is there anything these clever wee beasties can't do? I bet they even taste good, in a charcoaly kind of way.

Burp.

British teens offered boozing qualification

Ah...Mild

Happy days. I actually moved from lager to mild (i.e. the reverse of the El Reg recommended progression), but that was only because it was the only pint still less than £1 in our local. And that was a lot of pocket money is those days.

My Dad told me mild was made from collecting the dregs from the drip trays and pouring it into a barrel. Which would have explained the taste and the flatness...

UK Gambling Act is now in force

Re: Whining

Read the comment about the Sally Army and whining in general, and felt the need to create an account just to say:

Well said, sir. Well said!

I suggest that whining be banned for the public good, with failure to comply resulting in a sound birching.