Posts by Marky W

Harry Potter Web-2.0 'Pottermore' offering unveiled

Dante's Inferno 2.0

Facebook: 1st Circuit of Hell

Myspace: 2rd Circuit of Hell

Pottermore: 3rd Circuit of Hell

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Any Twilight fansite: 7th Circuit of Hell

Fill in the blanks yourself. I've things to do, you know.

Booze for wrinklies: Good or bad?

Daily Mash

They're good, aren't they:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly/elderly-drinkers-use-latest-medical-advice-to-wipe-themselves-201106223984/

UK taxpayer 'fleeced' in spectrum selloff windfall

Yup

BINGO

The KILLER MUTANT FUNGUS in YOUR DISHWASHER

Aieeeeeee!!!

Flee the spores! Flee while you can!!

Either that or fill the dishwasher with hops and malted barley. I think I'll flip a coin.

Captain Cyborg: Computers are alive, like bats or cows

Acrostically speaking...

...Kevin is a:

Time

Wasting

Academic

Tutor

8m health records go walkabout

See icon

I mean, what else is there to say?

Teen sells Perl cloud startup to ActiveState

Kids these days

Keyboards? Hah!

When I was just 9 months old, I got up an hour before I went to bed, crawled 5 miles over burning coals and broken glass, then punched cards with a rusty spoon for a week.

In January. In Aberdeen.

LulzSec pwns pron site

"I know people"

I'm sure you do. Perve.

Cameron calls for ISP-level parental censorship tools

Mixed reaction

1. Making tools available = good

2. Forcing people to use them = bad

3. Making the ISP use them whether we like it or not = worse

Being the cynical fart that I am, I can see the progression from one to three being swift, despite any promises that may be given by our much-beloved leaders.

Echostar HDS-600RS Freesat HD recorder

That's one fugly box

a bit like one of those robot vacuum cleaners

<--- and look, it made me barf

Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

I see you took advantage of the pricing error

Being in that state at this of the morning is not impressive though.

What is UltraViolet™ and why should you care?

Confoosed

Film Industry + Technology = Consumer Friendly Product

Does not compute. Does not comp...kzzzzzrrrrt....fssssss....

<----- My brain

Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village

The world needs more Alexanders

Many comments will no doubt focus on a village apparently stocked with Mary Whitehouse clones, so I'd like to say 'well done, that man' to Alexander.

If more people were willing to inject a bit of fun (risque or otherwise) into life, we'd all be a lot, lot happier. So, Alexander, have a pint on me.

Drink 8 bottles of wine, you'll be unharmed if hit by Mike Tyson

Sorted for Saturday night then!

I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Hope I didn't miss anything.

Reindeer can see in ultraviolet, say boffins

Splutter!

"The ability to avoid eating the yellow snow even in dim lighting certainly seems worthwhile on its own."

Laugh-out-loud line-of-the-week :)

Linux Foundation chief dubs MeeGo 'unstoppable force'

You have much to learn, grasshopper

The unstoppable force, stops.

The immovable object, moves.

Ommmmmmmmm.

Huge fat pipe squirts mighty streams

34.9 kilowrists

You did the rounding wrong (although pity the poor chap who gets the 0.9, frustrated in the closing moments...)

Radio 4 bumped off Freeview by Gaelic TV

Almost right

Format actually is:

- BBC does something which *appears* stupid

- Masses of people complain

- Extra money found down the back of sofa and stupid thing reversed

- Everyone reminded how totally and utterly super-amazing BBC is

- Example wheeled out by BBC at next license review

- Trebles all round!!

(see 6 Music for a fine example of this M.O.)

Samsung Galaxy S II dual core Android smartphone

Agreed

Especially when you consider the unfinished and underwhelming Playbook got 75%....

Designer punts ultimate customisable keyboard

Yes, indeedy

It's just like a halogen hob for its wipedownability.

A quick buff and a wipe and you're done. And then you can clean the keyboard. Badabum, tish!

Glass aeroplanes and iPads on the way, say boffins

Apple already in this game

From last August (Liquidmetal counter-inuitively makes solid metal glass):

http://www.crunchgear.com/2010/08/09/apple-buys-out-liquidmetal-patents-to-stay-one-step-ahead-in-materials-game/

According to the vid, metal glass is also super-bouncy. Paris, as she's super-bouncy too.

Microsoft resuscitates 'I'm a PC' ads to fight Apple

I call bullshit...

From working with numerous Win 7 machines, all of which work perfectly well and all of which have a much lower spec than the machine you claim has problems (including some rather underpowered laptops).

It's commonly accepted that Win 7 is a vast improvement on Vista (which I admit, is not saying much) in terms of the demands it makes on a machine.

Nude gardener's arse hauled into court

Health and safety nightmare

Pruning shears, rose thorns, nettles, bumble bees...

Ouch.

Mozilla refuses US request to ban Firefox add-on

Oh, I dunno

I quite like the US Gov / RIAA / MPAA for this.

I'd never heard of this add-on before, and now I've checked it out and downloaded it. Cheers for the recommendation, guys!

Nutter preflames El Reg 'cockheads'

You were right!

Or does this post make *me* the next poster? Confused.

It seems you're right either way. Have a biscuit.

PSN hack triggers lawsuit

Fishy

So, 6 of the first 9 comments are effectively pro-Sony, at a venue not renowned for having a pro-Sony inclination (as the down-votes show).

Am I alone in finding this a tad dodgy? Or is it tin-foil chapeau time?

User data stolen in Sony PlayStation Network hack attack

tl;dr

see title

Animal lovers stamp on goldfish racing

But...

What does this mean for my puppy drowning contest?

(with apologies to the commenter on the linked news article)

Calling all readers: Want some new icons?

One more

A cartoon singing whale for marketing tomfoolery.

Alt text: 'This comment comes with an overpowering smell of incense'

Dunces hat icon

For responding to spectacularly dumb comments.

Like this: http://bit.ly/hVxUVo

Alt Text: 'I believe your understanding of the issue is somewhat lacking'

Death threats against 'worst song ever' YouTube teen

Absolutely

Bob Dylan's cover is also outstanding:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FISHEO3gsM

Blighty's Skylon spaceplane faces key tech test in June

Doomed

"If the craft itself should gain just a few per cent in fuelled-up weight during the development process, this would wipe out its entire payload margin."

As an aerospace engineer, I can say with confidence that they are fucked.

UK is fifth free-est nation on the internet

Only 37 countries listed

And only UK, Germany and Italy included from Western Europe. On a full ranking we'd be lower down, but still in the 'free section'.

Pint because I'm thirsty.

Reviewers slam BlackBerry PlayBook software

"The hardware meets with approval, but is being let down by RIM's software"

'Quelle surprise', as your average cheese-eating surrender-monkey would say.

Intel and Micron reach flash frontier

128GB the size of a stamp

Like...wow.

I'm as guilty as most for taking technology for granted, but squeezing (about) 1,000,000,000,000 pieces of information onto something that small, and being able to change it and access it at will, is pretty mind-blowing.

The really scary thing is that will seem tame in 3 years time...

I suddenly feel old :(

Apple's 'Do Not Track' feature goes on Safari

Or you could use a proper browser

Like Ope....

Nah, just joshing. Use whatever the f*ck you like.

Mummy, mummy, there's a nuclear monster!

@AC - Did you even read that link?

Seriously?

25 people injured (no deaths) in non-radiological incidents. Not a surprise considering they're working stupid numbers of hours, round-the-clock, in a devastated area, under huge amounts of time pressure and often in restrictive safety gear.

20 people with radiological contamination (plus some firemen who were 'decontaminated'), of whom 17 weren't even taken to hospital as the level was so low, 2 were decontaminated, leaving ONE with 'significant exposure'. Given how insignificant 'significant' seems to be in these cases, I'd say you've backed Lewis's assertion up pretty well.

D- must try harder.

Dutch astronaut unleashes 155 mph 'Superbus'

Hen party

I'm curious to see what happens when the brides pissed-up, topless friend stands up in the sunroof at 155mph holding a glass of lambrini.

It's got 'youtube classic' written all over it.

SpaceX unveils new Falcon Heavy rocket - WORLD'S BIGGEST

Wrong priorities

Less rockets, more Jet packs, flying cars and holodecks, please!

Dig deep! Radio asks taxpayers for blank cheque

Tsk

That would be 'merkins'.

Facebook Comments kill web freedom

"The cool kids of yesteryear ran Linux"

No. No,no,no,no,no. They were not cool.

Being alpha-geek is not cool. And it never will be (sadly).

Oxfordshire cops switch speed cameras back on

Slip slidin' away

I wonder how much of the increase was due to the stupendous amouts of snow and ice at the tail-end of last year.

Can't have helped road safety much, is all I'm saying...

Microsoft cofounder Allen unloads on Gates

To be fair to Bill...

You don't create one of the largest and most pervasive companies in the world (and keep it that way for decades) by being a big softy.

Icon 'cos love him or hate him, the Billionaires Pledge - which he lead by example - redeems any sins he may have committed a hundred times over.

Artificial leaf produces electricity through photosynthesis

Spookily enough...

...today's Dilbert covers the likely source of this story:

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2011-03-29

Airship 'Sky Tugs' ordered from Lockheed for Canadian oilfields

Heh

That would be F.A.B.

Boffins build copper-crunching laptop cooler

'phase change'

Why the quotes? Makes you sound like Dr Evil saying 'laser'.

Most of us commentards have a reasonable education in science, you know...

Fukushima on Thursday: Prospects starting to look good

Boo to the downvoter

That's a excellent and jolly interesting site

Making sport of browser security, hackers topple IE, Safari

Heh. Pwned.

Appropriately enough.

Solution found for climate change: Nuclear war

Yeah!

What he said!

(Plus: nice name. Fan of XKCD, perhaps? http://xkcd.com/327)

Natalie Portman slaps John Galliano

IT Angle

She was in some Star Wars films which have beaucoup computers 'n' robots 'n' shit. Bleedin' obvious when you think about it, innit.