* Posts by KittenHuffer

1166 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Dec 2018

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Microsoft reseller Bytes says more than 100 undisclosed share trades linked to ex-CEO

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Re: Training

Or sociopaths gotta sociopath!

Ad agency boss owned two Ferraris but wouldn't buy a real server

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Re: The owner has two Ferraris. They have that kind of money

Nah, they'd buy a Harley if they wanted a big throbbing beast between their legs!

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Re: Maybe a typical Oz thing?

The bit about leasing the Holden might be!

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Aaron?

This wouldn't happen to be the famous Aaron A Aardvark would it? Who changed his name so that he would be the first entry in the phone book?

Bonus points to anyone who can remember the story where this took place! ..... Without simply Goggling it that is!

BOFH: I get locked out, but I get in again

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Thy'd try to tak that out of HIS IT (rad: pints of lagr) budgt.

FTFY

Job interview descended into sweary shouting match, candidate got the gig anyway

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He was also unable to do a decent wolf whistle!

Capita says 2023 cyberattack costs a factor as it reports staggering £100M+ loss

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Re: Any content in there?

HOUSE!!!

Oh, I thought you'd started a game of BS Bingo!

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Re: Take your pick

Doing cyber security properly: Priceless!

Boffins propose fiber-optic network for the Moon

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There is already a theoretical solution ....

.... using spherical fibre! It is already in a vacuum after all!

-----------> Mine's the one made by Playtex in the '60s!

Hold up world, HP's all-in-one print subscription's about to land, and don't forget AI PCs

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Down 4.4% ....

.... only another 95.6% to go!

------------> Mine's the one with the anti-HP coating .... and I don't mean that brown sauce doesn't stick to it!

Greener, cheaper, what's not to love about a secondhand smartphone?

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Or you can buy a fairphone!

Work for you? Again? After you lied about the job and stole my stuff? No thanks

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Joke

Re: Ah, Joy

It's the Student Head Inversion Technique!

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Nah, dual head display!

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I regret ....

.... I only have one 'up' to give!

BOFH: In the event of a conference, the ninja clause always applies

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You have to know the obscure rules ....

.... otherwise the salesman might capture you en passant!

---------> Mine's the one with the por.... I mean pawn in the pocket!

Rice isn't nice for drying your iPhone, according to Apple

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Personally ....

.... I keep all those little desiccant pouches that everyone seems to deliver electronics or drugs (sorry, food supplements) with. They go into a self seal plastic bag, and anything that needs drying just gets sealed into the bag with that little lot.

Trident missile test a damp squib after rocket goes 'plop,' fails to ignite

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£17M!!! Just goes to prove ....

.... There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Launch!

Dave's not here, man. But this mind-blowingly huge server just, like, arrived

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Flame

Re: Network?

I wonder if the server was running Vaporware?

---------> Servers personally tested by Cheech & Chong!

Apple makes it official: No Home Screen web apps in European Union

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Re: I

"Features and services provided by OS are there by the will of the provider." - So you're effectively saying that the Fruity Ones are the gatekeepers of their walled garden.

The problem I see is that the EU law was introduced to specifically counter that position. So I see your excuse for their compliance as being a good argument for 'malicious compliance'.

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Did anyone ....

.... really expect the Fruity Ones to just roll over and give in to EU law by complying in good faith with the required changes?

I would love to see a significant fine applied to them for malicious compliance. But I doubt it will happen.

Air Canada must pay damages after chatbot lies to grieving passenger about discount

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These days he'd probably have to prove he was human first!

WATSON picks up slack on Mars for SHERLOC as Perseverance gadgets show age

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Re: Elementary...

Mechanism On Rover to Increase Activation of Remote Tool canopY!

Venus has a quasi-moon and it's just been named 'Zoozve' for a sweet reason

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Happens a lot!

The Merlin helicopter (EH101) was supposed to be the European Helicopter Industries 01 (EHI01) but when first show to the press they got the designation wrong, and it just stuck so AugustaWestland caved to the inevitable and changed the designation.

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I would suggest ....

.... Hamner-Brown but technically it would have to be a comet rather than a minor planet.

Or Hot-fudge-sundae-that-falls-on-aTueday!

------------> Mine's the one I'll wear for a world ending collision!

BOFH: Hearken! The Shiny Button software speaks of Strategic Realignment

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Re: Resource re-alignment?

You've just given me a bad case of Deja Vu!

---------> Mine's the one I'll need soon, cos it's happening again!

Please install that patch – but don't you dare actually run it

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Re: This must rate as the most moronic management policy ...

The packaging mimics a Farady cage in that the packaging is conductive to allow charge to flow around the sensitive contents rather than jumping into and through them.

If bits of the packaging are touching bits of the circuit board then it is possible for batteries with exposed terminals to discharge themselves via the packaging.

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Re: We dont go for "uptime" records

I don't believe you can do the memory usage logging thing with SQL Server, as the process will take the maximum amount of memory assigned to it, and then use that in the most optimal way to increase the speed of queries run against the database.

When you restart the server it effectively flushes the data that has been cached as previous queries were run. So immediately after the reboot SQL Server will (on average) run a bit slower until it builds up a cache of the most used data again.

I believe there are ways to check how SQL Server is using it's reserved memory, but you would have to ask a production DBA about that. I'm merely a development DBA.

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Re: Karma

"he weaselled his way out of it"

Once upon a time I was a member of a small IT team (5 strong) supporting a large number of engineers on a contract.

I'm doing my normal day-to-day work when a chance comment to one of the other team members led to me finding out that one of our systems had suffered a production database deletion, and the other members of the team (and many of the engineers) were working flat out to rebuild the database ...... and the months of data lost because 'the Oracle backups had been failing due to an Oracle bug that a fix had not been published for'!

I found it so strange that I hadn't been asked to help with the recovery. In fact I hadn't even been told there was a problem.

I deduced that this was actually deliberate as I was the one person in the team that would have stood up in meetings and pointed out the plot holes in the explanation that was given as to what went wrong, and why it wasn't the fault of the mangler that ran the team. "The Emperor has no clothes!"

I have a very short list of people who I will never work with again, and that particular mangler is top of the list!

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I only see 2 options: (though this is only a quick look)

1) Change the management view so that outage is allowed, and planned for.

2) Change jobs!

----------> Mine's the one that will stop the door hitting my ass on the way out! (hee haw! hee haw! Damn! Hit my ass anyway!)

Joint European Torus experiments end on a 69 megajoules high

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Boffin

I want my ....

.... 1.21 GigaWatts!

It's the only way I'll get back to my own timeline!

Alaska Airlines' door-dropping flight was missing bolts

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Re: Door opened for civil suits

"Door opened for civil suits"

I thought the door had been opened for rapid decompression and egress during flight!

------------> Mine's the one with the parachute built in!

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Re: Major major cock-up

You missed the " at the end of the web address!

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So by failing ....

.... to screw (I mean bolt) it up they screwed it up!

--------> Mines the one with the torque wrench in the pocket!

Developer's default setting created turbulence in the flight simulator

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It's Goats all the way down!

Dell said to be preparing broad Return To Office order this Monday

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Re: Throw me in that briar patch!

Only if I can also avoid having to fill out an annual performance review!

Techie climbed a mountain only be told not to touch the kit on top

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Re: Sort-of Recommendation

I'm sure it's been covered somewhere by Dilbert and co.

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WTF?

I once had ....

.... a badly designed 10base2 network that I had the misfortune to support.

Some bright spark had extended the segment that all the servers (in the server room) were connected to into the office outside. The sockets used were a weird (IIRC German) make before break connector. Anyway, one afternoon the whole network started glitching and everyone went into headless chicken mode. I managed to trace the fault to the office portion of the network segment, and informed my boss that it would be necessary to unplug it to find the cause of the issue.

I was told that I was not allowed to do that during office hours, and then my boss disappeared into a meeting. So I sat around doing nothing for 2 hours while the network ran at about 10% speed.

Returning to the area after a comfort break I spotted the rear end of my boss exiting the office as he finished his day, without even bothering to check with my on the current emergency situation.

Finally after everyone else had finished I was allowed to do the 5 minutes of work to identify which of the make before break sockets had failed, replace it, and everything came back up.

.

Within a week I had isolated the server room with a router (or bridge) that meant that office network issues only affected that segment rather than the whole network.

That was one of the few jobs I've ever walked away from because I needed to save my sanity.

Mozilla slams Microsoft for using dark patterns to drive Windows users toward Edge

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Unfortunately .....

..... it seems that they are preaching to the choir.

Those of us that take notice of the reports produced by Mozilla are also those of us that already aware of the lengths that M$ (& Goggle & The Fruity Ones & Spamazon & FaecesBook & Xitter & Ariston & on & on & on) go to to try to make us use their products, and also the ones that tend to avoid those products where possible.

Scientists don thinking caps in wearable tech breakthrough

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Re: A beanie and a sweater with batteries

For a certain generation .... still living in their Mom's basements .... washing may not actually happen during the lifetime of the clothes!

--------------> Mine's the one that makes a dirty mac look clean!

Microsoft Edge ignores user wishes, slurps tabs from Chrome without permission

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Re: > I am really not sure if they are totally clueless or totally evil.

How did you do that?!?

If you can do that then we can get our Paris icon back as well, so please elucidate!

GPS interference now a major flight safety concern for airline industry

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Re: Any mention of GPS spoofing .....

But Shirley, PB would never return results for Fake OS maps?!? I'm shocked that such a thing could happen!

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Re: Any mention of GPS spoofing .....

I think there might be a number of Commentards that auto-down-vote any mention of 'Fake News'.

I did consider "Any mention of GPS spoofing is just news of Fake" but felt it didn't have the same punch, and was pretty much like explaining the joke.

If it 'Whooshed!' a few people and they down voted me then I just have to accept that not everyone has my sense of humour ..... Thank <diety>!

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Any mention of GPS spoofing .....

..... is Fake news!

Mine's the one with the OS maps in the pocket!

ESA gives gravitational wave space probe LISA the nod for a 2035 launch

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Re: Curvature of Space-Time

How will LISA measure the flatness of the Universe, when it is not measuring the angle between the three satellites but rather the distance between them.

The Universe is flat. Here’s what that teaches us. - Courtesy of Starts With A Bang

How will three satellites a few million km apart measure the curvature when it is already pretty certain that any curvature is on the scale of 250 times the expanse of the visible (92 billion LY) Universe?

I'm afraid it would take a different design of mission, and much larger scales.

BOFH: Looks like you're writing an email. Fancy telling your colleague to #$%^ off?

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Re: Not sure here

That was always my thought about Dilbert.

I could split each cartoon into one of two categories. Either it was so insane that I thought it could never happen, or I could remember when it (or something very similar) happened to me. And the split was about 50%/50%!

I'm sure that others had the same experience, but would drop some of the cartoons into the opposite category to me!

Standards-obsessed boss ignored one, and suffered all night for his sin

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Being a casino they probably figured they could take the chance ..... cos the house always wins eventually!

Mine's the one with the card counting device in the pocket!

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Facepalm

Re: Needless!!

Or he had the average analytical ability of the type of person that tends to gravitate to such a role, and was unable to think past "I'm holding this and it's not falling"!

OSIRIS-REx's stuck asteroid sample canister finally cracked open by NASA

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Re: Finally

Yeah! Why is it ALWAYS that one that goes missing?

Japan recovers moon lander data, puts craft to sleep due to solar panels' bad attitude

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Facepalm

"suffered a rotation about at least one of its axes on landing" - In layman's terms, it fell over!

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