Posts by KittenHuffer

Security company hired a used car salesman to build a website, and it didn't end well

Re: Log

And was the cabin boy named Roger?

I think the HR Droid probably got the whole car, not just the boot!

-------> Mine's the one that has the jangle of used car keys in the pocket if you shake it!

BOFH: The auditor is asking too many questions. We have just the laptop for that

And once you have you realise you'll just have a disabled porn light that is on.

You have to go to certain niche sites on the interwebs for that!

And I have to ask .... is it a big throbbing light? Or one of those cute little discrete ones?

Just put a piece of duck tape over it!

Lovestruck US Air Force worker admits leaking secrets on dating app

He asked to meet up, but she just said "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"!

Thousands of NASA senior staffers expected to quit after budget slashed

Re: Lunatic

I know I shouldn't feed the trolls but .... it does say 1960, NOT the 1960's!

1960 was before JFK's famous speech, before the USA commited to going to the Moon, and before the massive ramp up in NASA funding and headcount.

1960 was when the US was being trumped by the Russians.

.

2025, the US is just being Trumped!

Elon Musk's Grok chatbot posts Mein Kampf 2.0 in now-deleted X rant

Re: Who Would Have Thought...

Garbage In .... Cabbage Out!

Georgia court throws out earlier ruling that relied on fake cases made up by AI

Re: Georgia, the state, USA

With El Reg these days I'm afraid you'll have to flip that assumption.

Assume that everything is to do with the US of A ...... unless explicitly stated otherwise!

Re: commonly used AI applications can be prone to "hallucinations,"...

Garbage in .... cabbage out!

Yes, I wrote a very expensive bug. In my defense I was only seven years old at the time

Re: PigeonNet

"Telkom could not immediately be reached for comment"

Wrong, they could be reached immediately ..... but the transmission time for the question and reply will take in excess of 12 hours!

Airbus okays use of ‘Taxibot’ to tow planes to the runway

Not really a Bot is it!

It has a human driving it when it's not attached to the plane, and the pilot controlling it when it is.

'Trained monkey' from tech support saved know-it-all manager's mistake with a single keypress

There is only one thing to be said to such manglers .....

..... Oook!

Microsoft's on-prem Exchange and Skype for Business Server go subscription-only

So business as usual then!

There's no international protocol on what to do if an asteroid strikes Earth

Re: Extreme weather event.

Personally I think that you're being far too optimistic!

Re: Eh?

I think you missed out 'oil rig workers' in there somewhere!

.... and will also 'start' projects to prepare suitable ass-teroid safety bunkers .... that they will then cancel once suitable progress has been made .... only to be sold to the same partners for pennies on the pound .... to be finished off and then rented to those with enough money.

Leaving us poor plebs with the cheap, Chinese, tin foil ass-teroids hats, that don't even fit, to protect us from a large kinetic energy impact event. Or hot fudge Sundae .... that falls on a Tuesdae!

You can trust our lying, cheating, ass-hole, scumbag politicians ..... to be complete twunts. But then I repeat myself!

----------> Mine's the one with the anti-ass-teroid lining!

Don't shoot me, I'm only the system administrator!

Nah, it's only diplomats wives that are allowed to do that!

Hell! That's more than my life is worth!

Techie went home rather than fix mistake that caused a massive meltdown

Re: Honestly I'm bilingual

"1000's of pounds" = Yo mama! jokes

Techie traveled 4 hours to fix software that worked perfectly until a new hire used it

Re: What documentation?

They had to widen the circle ..... of knowledge! You people have disgusting minds!

Re: I touch it and it breaks!

A good tester is worth their weight in bugs!

Glazed and confused: Hole lotta highly sensitive data nicked from Krispy Kreme

Re: So their donuts...

Wholely Holy holes! .... said Batman to Robin!

Perhaps that should consult with Nestlé to find out how they have protected the holes in Polos since 1948!

--------> Mine's the one with no holes ...... yes, I know that technically with no holes it has no sleeves, so it isn't really a coat!

BT chief says AI could deliver more job cuts, hints at Openreach sell-off

Re: Saw off the branch you are sitting on

Because all of the companies and their remaining employes will be taxed more to pay the 'basic living stipend' of all the ex-employees (and career couch lizards) that can no longer earn a living due to AI!

User demanded a 'wireless' computer and was outraged when its battery died

Re: No need for the nuclear option

My thought would be to question how they could tell the difference between the radiation from the RTG, and the general solar and extra-solar radiation that it would be bathed in anayway?

Re: Phone down

I hear that in Australia it means that they really don't like you!

Google outfoxed by crafty squatters in $1B London HQ's rooftop garden

And you're certain it was a fox?

I wouldn't put those actions beyond some of those I went to school with!

My suggestion .....

..... would be to take off and nuke the whole site from orbit!

It's the only way to be sure!

Re: Fox's or Fox'es?

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/foxes-moles-and-mink-how-to-protect-your-property-from-damage#foxes

Foxes

Foxes are not protected for conservation purposes in England. The owner or occupier of the property where a problem with foxes occurs can decide when to control them. You or anyone you employ to control the foxes must protect their welfare.

To discourage foxes from coming to your property you should:

secure food waste in bins

use fencing to protect pets and livestock from foxes

If the problem continues you can use the control methods set out in this guide. You must not:

use gassing or poisoning

block or destroy fox earths if they are occupied

use dogs to hunt foxes

Field support chap got married – which took down a mainframe

We'll let you off .... but don't make a hobbit of it!

Techie traced cables from basement to maternity ward and onto a roof, before a car crash revealed the problem

Re: vlans & other segregation config might have hidden the issue

There is a new Thanos condom that prevents 50% of them!

Re: vlans & other segregation config might have hidden the issue

Never underestimate the data bandwidth of a teenage boys favourite sock! That helical data storage capacity is huge, and they seem to produce it so regularly!

It's only once they start working that they can afford proper latex barriers!

It is said that 90% of people are caused by accidents!

--------> Yup, the latex one please!

Japan's latest Moon landing written off as a failure after ispace probe goes dark

Re: No big deal

Earth First! We rape the other planets afterward!

-------> Mine's the one that'll work in a vacuum ...... yup, that spherical one!

Datacenters have a public image problem, industry confesses to The Reg

I think it's probably more to do with the entertainment (Film/TV/SciFi) industry churning out 'AI is bad' stories that have seeped into the public subconscious.

I asked then to stop but they just said "Sorry, I can't do that ...... Dave"!

Engineers bring Psyche's thrusters back online

Re: Space is hard...

I thought it was a madministration!

Techie fixed a ‘brown monitor’ by closing a door for a doctor

Re: Does not sound like any kind of fix to me

He's Jack Black's younger and lesser known brother!

Re: Does not sound like any kind of fix to me

Ask your local Goths!

Ex-Meta exec: Copyright consent obligation = end of AI biz

What they're actually saying .....

..... is that 'everyone else' is doing it, and if we don't let businesses in the UK do it then they'll just leave for somewhere that will let them do it. And they're worried that AI might actually work, and be this incredible thing that a country needs to be able to succeed, and that the risk to their wallets .... I mean, the UK economy means that they're going to let it happen even though they know it is wrong.

What a bunch of lying, cheating, stealing, scumbag politicians. But then I repeat myself!

Trump announces $175B for Golden Dome defense shield over America

Re: May not repeat but it rhymes

If Reagan's 'Star Wars' SDI sounded like sci-fi ..... it might actually be because it came from a bunch of sci-fi writers!

The story behind how SDI came about!

Niven & Pournelle had a legitimate claim that they were the first domino that led to the fall of the Berlin wall.

Re: May not repeat but it rhymes

The only good kitten is a huffable kitten! - KittenHuffer

M&S warns of £300M dent in profits from cyberattack

Re: A £300million reduction in profits

And will other businesses learn from their mistake?

Torvalds' typing taste test touches tactile tragedy

Re: The best keyboard...

I'll see you, and raise you a ZX-81!

Dilettante dev wrote rubbish, left no logs, and had no idea why his app wasn't working

Re: So you forgot how your code worked... hold my beer

Been there ..... forgotten that!

Re: Divers log

Did I hear a 'Cooeee!' from the one in the corner?!?

Royal Navy freshens up ships' electromagnetic warfare defenses

Re: Archimedes and Wallis

My brain read that as "Operation Gonorrhea" first time round!

The double-take was quite amusing!

All of the various radar domes will be covered by little square mirrors.

That will be called Deter Incoming laSer Channelling Optics around BALLS!

-------> Mine's the nice leather one! With the sequins!

Boffins warn that AI paper mills are swamping science with garbage studies

Re: Way Back...

Oblig XKCD

Mars may have vast underground oceans and enough H₂O to make it a water world

Re: Just cheese

That's why the Man in the Moon appears to be smiling ..... cos He's just saying Cheeeeeeese!

This is a technical solution that was derived from a meta analysis of a number of studies of the Man in the Moon.

If the theory that it is actually a Woman in the Moon is proven then the most likely reason for the smile is that She is amused by the antics of the tiny little humans scrabbling over the face of the Earth!

Fusion eggheads claim modeling fix for particle escape - at least in stellarators

I'm sure they could model .....

..... a spherical alpha particle in a vacuum! I mean it's not rocket science, how hard can it be?

---------> Mine's the one with the lead lining!

Unending ransomware attacks are a symptom, not the sickness

Re: Make the management legally liable

Most of us end up that way because we HAVE tried, we HAVE put in the effort ..... and we get NOTHING for it. Unless, we get the blame for being the messenger.

I would not be surprised to find that you are early in your career, and that in a few decades you'll find yourself on the other side of this conversation without ever realising that your opinion was changing.