* Posts by EVP

156 posts • joined 16 Nov 2018


Well, that's something boffins haven't seen before: A strange alien streaks around Jupiter

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Looks like a job for...

”Nothing good could possibly result from such an invasion.”

I beg to differ. To me, squid invasion spells delicious plates of seafood. On the other hand, there is a risk of being the main course. Logic clearly dictates that we need to eat ’em first!

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Looks like a job for...

It’s definitely an exhaust plume. I have a reason (which I cannot obviously comment any further) to believe there is a colony undead squids from space living in Jupiter, and they are starting their engines to invade us.

Seriously, astro-boffins get my unreserved respect for their work. Astro-boffings, have one, or ħ⋅10^34 1/eVs, this weekend (despite that you missed the squids) —>

Mirror mirror on the wall, why will my mouse not work at all?

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Re: obvious

Thanks for the biggest laugh of the week!

Bose shouts down claims that it borked noise cancellation firmware to sell more headphones

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Re: @EVP

OK. I got the wrong impression then. What I don’t get is that the problems emerged only when the new software rolled out, or did the users start complaining already before that? The Bose users’ forum would probably provide some answers, but the problem is not really my concern. EOT

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Re: Er ...

“It's just a marketing statement designed to make it sound like they are saying one thing while actually saying something else and being technically correct but not actually addressing the point.“

That used to be called ‘lying’.

EVP Bronze badge

True, ear cushions and other sound-dampening material wear out. Replacing them regularly is especially important with hearing-protection gear.

In this case, Bose clearly tries to bullshit their customers and to setup a smokescreen. It is complete BS that worn out cushions would be magically incompatible with the new and assumedly _better_ ANC SW. Even if they were incompatible, that would indicate a failure at their engineering department for not considering worn cushions before rolling out an update.

Logical conclusion is that they are either liars or incompetent, possibly both. In any case, Bose is now on my do-not-even-consider-bying list for good.

(I really hope they’ll fix the problem for their existing customers.)

COBOL-coding volunteers sought as slammed mainframes slow New Jersey's coronavirus response

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Re: No so much COBOL as the tools

I fscking hate fscking video tutorials. Every fscking video every fscking time introduces the same fscking concepts beginning when the dinosaurs walked the Earth. The actual tutorial is perhaps 5% of the whole ’tutorial’ duration, if it’s a good one.

Not that modern (written during the last 35 years) books on technical topics are much better. Gimme a good reference manual and I’m in heaven!

Rant over. Thank you for reading and please accept my sincere apologies.

(We need exploding head icon.)

EVP Bronze badge

”That's the job of what used to be called a Systems Analyst.”

In my experience, everybody is a systems analyst nowadays. In the same manner as ’anyone can code’. Yeah right.

The good part is that I don’t care anymore, not a single least significant bit.

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If they’ve lost their source code, they get what they deserve. It’s not fault of COBOL.

Boeing 787s must be turned off and on every 51 days to prevent 'misleading data' being shown to pilots

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Re: "Sounds like a number of designers are needed ..."

”Everyone can code”, you know... and design so yesterday.

What's the difference between Windows 7 and a bin lorry? One is full of garbage, and the other… oh dear

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Yes indeed. And how about paying the drivers a bit more instead of wasting money on useless garbage? They are a pretty important piece of society’s machinery, after all.

Still, that windoze screen was be placed where it deserves to be, on its way where it belongs to.

Analyst calls it: This is the 'biggest fall ever in the history of the worldwide smartphone market'

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Re: the history of smart phone market

What’s Sark TLD rules?

Anyway, the history of the smart phone is in fact more that 500 years old. Haven’t you seen an early sketch by Leonardo da Vinci? It features almost all functionality of the modern smartie. He couldn’t foresee memojis.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: tedious self hate again

Except they probably got it wrong. China ordered speedily an authoritarian lockdown. The west is following democratic procedures, and thus can act more slowly. I recon it’ll make the peak part wider, i.e. the misery will last longer than 3 monts. If I may ask, don’t shoot the messenger.

Instead browsing POM info, I recommend analysts to stick to browsing PORN. Everybody would be better off.

Stay safe.

(We need a loo roll icon)

All roads lead to Bork in Kansas as Windows puts on a show for motorists

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Re: road in Kansas

Nah, yellow bricks are nothing. We’ve got yellow snow.

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Re: 404

”You will be assimil... Working on updates. Do not turn off your collective.”

Looming ventilator shortage amid pandemic sparks rise of open-source DIY medical kit. Good thinking – but safe?

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Thank you for reminding us. That is the attitude the world needs now.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: When you have nothing...

"Anything is worthwhile. If these Heath Robinson kitbashed systems save even one life on balance - they're worth it."

I fully agree. Although it is understandable why medical professionals fear using uncertified products.

Rather than hoping for an open hw solution, people should demand for their states to act and to produce simple to use (hospitals are/will be running out of ICU professionals) and fast to manufacture ventilators, and other vital things too.

Any state with engineering and manufacturing resources should order engineers to do emergency work and confiscate (yes, they would get paid a reasonable rate for their efforts) materials and facilities to produce stuff we really need now. Like in a state of war. Any true leader would do this like yesterday and would not fear consequences for his/her political career. We don't want a Bring Your Own Ventilator situation within the next few weeks.

"And ffs, we are in the middle of a worldwide medical emergency - companies will you KINDLY stop waving your patent and right-to-repair dicks about. You are NOT helping."

Yes. Unfortunately, the patent waving and price gouging **coughepipen** has been going on for a while. Because of those dick wads, a great number of lives are lost and quality of life is decreased all over the world. Simply because of money and greed. If something good ever comes out of this horrible situation, I hope it will be better healthcare for everyone (I know, I'm being a bit naive now). I will never deny a reasonable, or even a high, reward for people's and companies' efforts. Still, the current situation in healthcare is too much.

This certainly is not a fucking game. Thanks for your post, Jemma.

Microsoft's Bill Gates defrag is finally virtually complete: Billionaire quits board to double down on philanthropy

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Re: Would you like to be fried with that?

Count me in. I’ll bring the popcorn.

US prez Donald Trump declares America closed to those flying in from Schengen zone over coronavirus woes

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Re: They'll see the worst of it

” Of course, you should totally read this article about how posting links in your comment makes your sexual organs 20% bigger.”

Does lenght of the link make any difference? Anyhow, I need to try posting a link sometime.

Hello, support? What do I click if I want some cash?

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Wrong tool for the job.

You’ve got a point there, that’d would indeed make identification much more reliable. No more weak passwords.

Then again, the smart card being a debit/credit card, M$ would probably start charging you per login/screensaver unlock licensing fees.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Wrong tool for the job.

”Windows is not, never was, and will never be, suitable for *embedded* applications (which is what this is).”

Agreed. Why don’t they just replace embeeded Winzo$es with good’ol deskto versions. You know, an ATM AD account for everyone with a debit card, crtl+alt+del to login and voilà, problems gone!

Yes, I know. Don’t bother with me coat.

Xilinx's high-end Versal FPGA is like a designer handbag. If you need to ask the price, you probably can't afford it

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How much does it cost?

You'll get your money – when this bank has upgraded Windows 7... or bought extended support

EVP Bronze badge

I’m afraid no - your account is currently locked out.

Yo, Imma let you finish, but for the 6,000 people still using that app on a daily basis ... we have a question: why?

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Come on baby light me on fire: McDonald's to sell 'Quarter Pounder' scented candles

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Re: Gwyneth would rather you had a whiff of this...

What if her vagina smells like a regular candle? So they are just regular candles she markets. Just a thought...

(I need a new mind after reading this thread, my post included.)

Worried about future planet-cleansing superbugs? But distrust AI? Guess you're not interested in these antibiotics

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Re: Sorry Dave,

Oh no, there goes my golden future :/ Need to brainstrom more evil genius ideas to rule the world.

(BTW, it’s no joke that human activity creates super-bugs: too many anti-bacterial products around us. No conspiracy theories needed. Antibacterial tooth paste is one of the worst ideas ever.)

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Impressive

Thanks, your comment was useful to read. I myself don’t know much (i.e. ~nothing) about antibiotics research and synthesis. If you know more, please go ahead and give us an exec^h^h^hngineer summary on the topic!

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Sorry Dave,

Stupid HAL, he doesn’t understand money.

1. Use AI (well, an automated system anyway) to develop all possible antibiotic permutations that might be useful.

2. Patent them.

3. Wait for the bugs to evolve -> profit.

Even better:

1. Use AI to synthesize all antibiotics it possibly can.

2. Patent them.

2. Use AI to engineer bugs to match your patent portfolio.

4. Release the bugs -> all the profit you can imagine, and then some more.

Who’s in? Minimum investment 100 M€ / £83.7M

Life in plastic, with a classic: Polymer £20 notes released into wild sporting Turner art

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Offensive?

Uh, tallow is being used when producing new vegans?

Well, since it’s a good lubricant, why not...

Larry Tesler cut and pasted from this mortal coil: That thing you just did? He probably invented it

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Re: flame on

”^VLet me say up front this gentleman has given the industry and indeed the world more than I ever will and RIP but man that CV after 2000 is painful to read. Wanted to get paid I suppose.”

Instagram influencer fools followers into thinking Ikea photoshoot was Bali holiday

EVP Bronze badge

Re: I don't beleeeve it!

I don’t believe you don’t believe.

Starliner snafu could've been worse: Software errors plague Boeing's Calamity Capsule

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Re: "Process escapes" is the new "Normalising the deviance"

My reply to such gibberish: ”I don’t care. I want it to work, reliably. Make it so.”

Never play along with bullshitters.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Won't anyone thing of the shareholders?!

Logic clearly dictates to ditch engineers and hire highly competent MBAs to replace them. In the words of cannibal in the Secret of Monkey Island: ”That should do it!”

Who needs the A-Team or MacGyver when there's a techie with an SCSI cable?

EVP Bronze badge

Re: HOWTO Move Your Server

I call your story a crash course on dangers of electricity. He, or anyone else attending to the course, won’t try it again.

Seriously, good that he survived. This case was probably something that happened impulsively. Every now and then you see death-trap installations by “electricians” which require serious planning and trouble to build. Why do it properly, when you can kill yourself, or someone else?

EVP Bronze badge

Re: HOWTO Move Your Server

I remember (shame on me) MacGyver using a tin foil covered chewing gum wrapper for the same purpose once to get out of a tricky situation.

Did he bad, yes? I want to believe that he was conscientious enough and replaced his kludge with a proper bold after dealing with the crooks (and leaving behind the misty-eyed lady he saved).

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Frankensolutions

Ah, that finally explains me why chemical plans look how they do.

Not that my piece of mind has increased...

EVP Bronze badge

Re: "an" SCSI cable?

Thank you for good laughs, I grant you on my own authority title of the wittiest comment of the day!

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Re: IDE not SCSI but the hack worked

Man, that summons up flashbacks from the darkest dungeons of my memory. Burning black plastic of female IDE connector didn’t smell good. I can still bring back its sharp and toxic malodour. The fumes made your eyes to water, too.

Unless my memory fails me badly, some cables had on pin 19 a miniature plug which could be fished out.

Uncle Sam tells F-35B allies they'll have to fly the things a lot more if they want to help out around South China Sea

EVP Bronze badge

Re: MVP?

Product - Polished marketing videos (with nice music) to trick fools to depart with their money.

There you go. Your first two items are spot on, which is quite unfortunate.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: !!!

“expensive to risk, its job is to fly around for 20-30 years generating support contracts“

I’m afraid you’re right. Buy hey, if everybody had them, it would end all wars. “F-35 - Good for peace, good for GNP!” (from L-M marketing slides).

Bad jokes aside, superior* weapons are always bad for peace. ~Zero risk to take out inferior enemy troops, guess what does to the threshold to initiate a war?

*When latest Service Pack has been installed and license keys have been paid for.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: F35

No way, Lockheed-Martin is so desperate to have orders on the F-35, that any publicity is good publicity.

The Vultures might be required to return all review samples* they receive, though, unless they change their tone a bit.

*The actual jets, I believe missiles and bombs are considered consumables.

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers

EVP Bronze badge

Re: The devils foam

The same procedure, I presume. Two PHYs, if the poor lad being let go is sturdier than an average person.

That's what makes you hackable: Please, baby. Stop using 'onedirection' as a password

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Re: one direction

Won’t buy. I hate the blnotch.

Sketchy behavior? Wacom tablet drivers phone home with names, times of every app opened on your computer

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But it’s for your own good. Providing the best possible Customer Experience and stuff. No hidden agenda, honestly.

Next on Wacom customer relations channel: ”We take our customer’s privacy and blah-blah-blah...” You know the rest.

Welcome to my blacklist, Wacom.

At last, the fix no one asked for: Portable home directories merged into systemd

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Next RC codename ...

Thank you, I’m withdrawing my proposition and I fully support the apt acronym of yours!

EVP Bronze badge

You just redefined ‘symbiotic relationship’ in a definitive way. Have my humble upvote!

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Next RC codename ...

I dare say, systemDOS. Perhaps we should call it SM-DOS, whaddaya say?

That piece of s-ware never given me anything but headache.

Ah, night shift in the 1970s. Ciggies, hipflasks, ADVENT... and fault-prone disk drives the size of washing machines

EVP Bronze badge

Re: Hefty bar tabs...

Yeah, unfortunately that’s often the case. Ruining someone’s who has just received a very expensive lesson career is just plain stupid. In this specific story, the junior operator taught himself to think twice when figuring out what’s wrong with a non-functioning device.

Fear of getting sacked for screwing up only leads to covering up tracks, which leads to even bigger problems, increased expenses, bad work moral and even mental ill-being. Fuck such management.

EVP Bronze badge

Re: How to treat removable pack drives

There is always an explanation available. You can turn sensitive electronic devices into bricks by mishandling them. Someone must have done that to the boxes containing the drives. They should have told that to the auditor.

You spoke, we didn't listen: Ubiquiti says UniFi routers will beam performance data back to mothership automatically

EVP Bronze badge

Yes. That’s the way to opt out from spying and snooping. No opt-out button needed.

Spread the word. Despite that not many people will listen and will just reply ’I’ve got nothing to hide’, someone may get it.



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