* Posts by CareTaker

31 publicly visible posts • joined 31 Aug 2007

Parents slapped with dress code after turning school grounds into a fashion crime scene


Poor Grammar C-

"We to (sic) have standards."

Really? From a school?

Should read: "We too have standards."

Because, well, I have standards.

Posted by a dyslexic.

Emulating x86: Microsoft builds granny flat into Windows 10


I have one word


Bill Gates orders hitman to kill right-hand man Steve Ballmer



Scott Tenorman must die

Schools IT supplier RM swings to full year loss after sales dive



The reason the usb stick has a virus everytime she plugs it in is because RM removed the virus checkers from entire school networks on every computer for no reason whatsoever and then neglected to tell anyone.

If you don't believe me check her laptop, it either has no virus checker or a disabled, old version of Norton.

Which county does she work in? Does the term we-learn or PFI or CC3/4 mean anything to you?


RM suck the sweat off a dead mans balls

I have worked in schools for the last 10 years and we are just coming to the end of an 8 year contract with RM. The amount they charged per computer per year was astronomical. We had 54 computers from them which we were forced to maintain over the 8 years at an astonishing cost. This contract has now ended (thank god) for the whole county in which I work. No wonder they are not making any money. Their gravy train came to the end of the line.

They have been ripping off schools for decades and I for one am glad it is ending.

Christ appears in phone advert, secular authorities act



This looks suspiciously like The Buddy Christ from the Kevin Smith film Dogma.

Sony to ship VR-style 3D headset in November



When can I buy the version that shoots big fat red lasers out of the front?

Mine is the yellow and blue lycra all in one.

Ads watchdog bites Virgin Media over 'con' claims


Forgive me if I sound like a Virgin Media fanboy and for the length of this post.

I have been with virgin media on and off for about 3 years. I started out on their 20mb service and when I tested it I was actually getting about 19.5mbps, all well and good. They then offered me the 50mb service and I am currently receiving about 48mbps.

I do a lot of work on people’s broadband and wireless in their houses. Those on VM tend to get what they pay for, whereas those on other service providers get extremely varied results. The only client I have EVER seen on an ADSL line, get their full speed, lived less than 200m away from the local exchange in my town. All others tended to max out at around 3-6mb regardless of what they paid for. I even had to suggest to one client to phone their ISP and switch to a lower subscription because it was impossible to increase their speed to what they were paying for.

Their traffic shaping is not too difficult to discern. If I use the full 50mbps (6.3 megabytes per second actual throughput, including overheads) I can only sustain that for about 20-30 minutes before my bandwidth is throttled back to half (25mbps or about 2-3 megabytes per second). Although, if I then use another type of downloader, say windows update, then I can use the remaining bandwidth. The full bandwidth does not return for a minimum of 6 hours. So yes, VM employ traffic shaping, on what seems to be a port by port basis. They also do not hide this fact from their customers (see their FUP).

I could moan about their advertising and sales junk I receive, but since most companies do the same, I can’t point the finger at VM.

Their customer services seem to take a while to answer the phone. The only issue I had was activating my line when it was first installed. Why they could not activate it for me, rather than insisting I install 200mb of crap on my computer first, just to activate, I don’t know.

As for the 8 complaints upheld by the ASA, I think that VM were fully justified with what they have claimed:

1. Support the campaign for broadband honesty. I agree; get what you pay for or pay for what you get. Stop lying and exploiting.

2. Millions of broadband users are being short-changed every day... Yes they are and it is tantamount to theft or exploitation.

3. Faster broadband means better broadband. I agree a faster, lower latency connection DOES give a perceivable benefit. I have tried others and can perceive it. If you don’t believe me then try using a VM 50mb line for a couple of weeks, then go back to “up-to 20mb”.

4. BT challenged that VM was twice as fast as others... OK BT, sky et al, where is your 50mb or 100mb service? How many people actually receive more than 25mb?

5. ...misleadingly suggested that [point 4] was the case in all circumstances... traffic management policies... Only “not the case” where VM has to use BT’s crappy corroded metal infrastructure. Also provide me with evidence of an ISP that doesn’t employ traffic management.

6. Delivering and average of just 6.5mbps... the only point I can’t really fault, until you get more than one user on the line or want to use the internet for something a little more demanding than sending an email or browsing static websites..

7. With around 90% of our advertised speed delivered to customers. The only customers that don’t receive 90% or better are those using BT’s lines again.

8. We don’t use old fashioned telephone lines... Less than 10% of their customers use ADSL and simply because there is not fibre in their area. Difficult to justify either way.

BT and Sky (especially BT) should pull their finger out of their arse and fully upgrade the whole country’s infrastructure with their new 21CN or “infinity” or whatever they are calling it now, rather than moaning at their competitors.

Who knows; video on demand might actually be a possibility in the near future. Unlikely if it were up to BT and their monopoly.

Spot-the-fake site launched


No offical retailers for



or HTC

So no official mobile retailers then...

Blighty's official Space Agency starts up on 1 April



Not the SUKA then?

Tainted ads punt scareware to surfers on LSE and Myvue sites



We have had to clean a number of laptops at the school I work for, that were used over half term by staff. Time to add extra protection me thinks as ironically user education is a waste of time.

Adblock plus anyone? Also SpyBot SD does a good job at imunising too, it blacklists a ton of known nasty sites.

Still, my private work is ramping up a bit. *rubs hands*

For those that don't know how to remove this little gem - boot into safe mode and run malwarebytes anti-malware. It does the trick nicely. Or take the hard disk out and scan it on another computer with the same software.

I wonder how many people's credit card numbers are now in the hands of the malware writers?

Customers paying more and putting up with mobes for longer


I thought

there was a poll and there was a dicision not to call these shiny communication devices "mobe(s)". Apart from this site, I have never heard that name used for them.

419ers take council for £100k


Hello, my name is George


I have your moneys.


Sumo scandal gets iPad relief



"I'm sorry. Your fingers are too fat. Please bash the keypad repeatedly to receive a dialing wand."

BOFH: Lies and the lying liars who lie about them

Thumb Up

Most amusing

and a perfect mid Friday the 13th pick-me-up.

McAfee offers cash for clunkers


I had to fix about 100 of these

Does that mean my company can claim back my wages as expenses to rectify the problem?

Mobile industry still bickering over apps

Gates Horns


"Apps" have been around for ages. The creation has never been the problem, nor has the delivery method been particularly annoying. The problem has always been platforms, or: operating systems and hardware. Apple control both, therefore = success.

Apple used the idea that made Palm popular.

Palm used an idea that worked for Psion.

Psion used ideas that had been working on games consoles and the amiga/atari.

I think this is the point microsoft and a couple of others usually pull their finger out of their posteriors and copy someone elses idea and then copywright it and sue everyone else for "their idea". Hence a monopoly is born. I fear the ship has sailed for microsoft as apple have sailed it away.

Watchdog takes hard line on 'adult film xtras' ad

Paris Hilton

I wonder...

...what he thought he was paying for?

Paris: well, what do you think?

UK BitTorrent admin acquitted on fraud charge


@ dave 37

This is the correct moral outcome. There is nothing wrong with making money from a website, regardless of its users use it, ask Mark Zuckerberg. Would you jail Australian poppy growers because someone took their poppies and made heroin from them instead of codeine? Do you prosecute road builders because people exceed speed limits? The fact of the matter is he made a website for the free exchange of music. If anything illegal was occurring because of his site it was down to the users. If he was to be found guilty, then Virgin Media, BT and all the other internet service providers are also guilty. Since they charge users to transmit data using their hardware and some of that data is transmitted illegally. I am generally opposed to intellectual property rights in most forms. How is it right that a musician can record or perform a song once and be paid multiple times and tell you how to play it? If a farmer grows a potato, we do not have to pay multiple times for it and there are no imposed restrictions on how to cook or eat the potato either. I also object to the TV (tax) licence for similar reasons. We pay a fee to the (taxman) BBC, who then play a song multiple times and pay royalties for each broadcast, a song goes to number 1 mostly on the strength of this. We are effectively paying the BBC to advertise for record labels which we then pay again to buy their music. I personally believe that anyone who pays their TV (tax) licence or subscribes to Sky or Virgin should be able to download what the hell they like, as they have already paid for it multiple times through subscription or licence fees, adverts and so on.

Filesharing laws to hit websites and newsgroups too


We already pay for things several times over.

I have Sky TV in my house. I watch stargate (sad I know) on Sky TV, I then buy the DVD box set. I then download the episodes to view them on my home network or laptop. My ISP sends me a letter on behalf of Fox/MGM to tell me I have infringed copyright. I then have to defend myself even though I have paid for my sky subscription, my TV license, my internet line with built in remuneration assuming I am going to pirate. I have also purchased the box set.

So I have effectivly paid for the show: once through my subscription, once through advertising, once from my internet subscription and again through purchasing the box set, not to mention the tax for the privalige of owning a TV. Do I get a refund if I do not watch the show? No.

Copyright laws are complete bollocks. This is vastly disproportionate punitive action that benefits nobody and presumes guilt before innocence.

Europe won't pay more for Windows 7. Really!

Gates Halo

30p more

for the 64bit version. Hmmm. Which one shall i choose. If the price difference is that negligible why not just charge the higher rate for both, or stop selling the 32bit version.

Oh, yeah it's Microsoft. What was i doing thinking logically.

32bit fanbois et al please start flame throwers now.

Law lord lashes out at ID cards



Someone with at least a little sway, has had the courage to say something out loud about the absurdity that is the British ID card system.

Euro court blocks Lego trademark bid


What a load of b'locks

mines the square one with knobbly bits on

Oz woman sold mobe with preloaded smut


Stop using "mobe"

I seem to remember a common consensus not so long ago where the majority voted against the use of the abbreviation "mobe". Then again, I suppose it is better then the use of "cell phone".

BOFH: Shafting the consultants over the new layout


Another great shafting

good work

CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics


Is this?

Ah, it is a p*sstake. Oh Duh april 1st. lol

All blue-eyed people share one common ancestor


I am another freak

My right eye is brown and my left eye is split blue/brown down the middle. What does that make me?

Just as a point of interest; check out the eyes of Wesley Snipes in the film Demolition Man.

Windows update brings down TV newscast

Gates Horns

Please remember

Life support machines now run embedded windows. Think about that for a while. MS euthanasia.

Americans' interest rates plummet

Paris Hilton

@ David Warren

Americans DO suck you hypocritical fuckwit.

<- As illustrated by Miss Hilton here; a perfect example of how the rest of the world views Americans.

Reference kilo shows mysterious weight loss


I seem to remember a BBC news story relating to this.

There used to be one man, who's name escapes me, who used to clean the reference metric objects. If memory serves, he was the only person who could clean the objects without removing any of the metal. I believe he died and the controversy was to do with getting someone else to clean the objects without damaging them.

Could this simply be a case of some ham fisted, garlic breathed, cheese and wine obsessed, dead language speaking, frog rubbing too hard?

UK plans surveillance for Earth-menacing asteroid


I know how to solve this problem

We should fly a Goa’uld cargo ship to the asteroid and land on it. Instead of trying to move it we could set off a nuclear device and destroy it. If it turns out the core of the asteroid is made of naquadah and a nuclear device would be unsuitable, that’s no problem. Simply wait till the last available minute, open a hyperspace window large enough to envelop the asteroid and jump through the earth with the asteroid in tow. That should put Apophis in his place. Of course we may need the help of another race; perhaps the Tok’ra might be able to assist us.