* Posts by MrMerrymaker

278 posts • joined 8 Aug 2018


I got 99 problems, and all of them are your fault

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And plugged in, with the wiring sufficiently changed to send as many volts as possible to it?

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Hi IT?

My worst call ever from my hell desk days:

Hi IT? The vending machine is out of crisps.

Me: while I think that's a terrible problem why are you ringing IT?

User: Well it's electric isn't it?

To this day my ex colleagues and friends in IT have a running joke of "Hi, IT? Can you change the light bulb / refil the car with diesel / wipe my arse for me?"

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Re: Rudest, Dumbest - same thing no?

I love a story with a happy ending :)

Butterfingers who don't bother with phone cases, rejoice: New Gorilla Glass 'Victus' tipped to survive 6ft drops

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Is dropping your phone common?

I've honestly never dropped mine in a way that cracks the screen. I use the case that came with my Mi 9 and it's nice but generally won't go out my way to get a case.

So is it common? I drink a ton and I have dropped phones but never ever outside and never in a way that has even produced a scratch.

Am I an alien, or is this feature here a genuine selling point?

UK's Co-operative Group to centralise IT teams across various divisions, warns redundancies 'inevitable'

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I like supporting the co-op - especially in this horrid covid dystopia

But this is a bad decision, and seems a bit off, considering I liked them for not being as evil as yer Walmarts, Tesco crowd.

Trump reveals US cyber-attack on Russian election-misdirection troll farms

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Re: Detracts from journo standards

Did someone make you click on the article?

It is, to be fair, an article about technology. It also doesn't seem particularly biased to me.

But then if I didn't even want to SEE the name Trump, I probably wouldn't click on articles that begin with the name...

A volt from the blue: Samsung reportedly ditches wall-wart from future phones

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Maybe prices will go down then

... I crack me up!

Utilitarian, long-bodied Nokia 5.3 has budget basic specs - but it does cost £150

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I don't get this site, why am I getting downvotes for having a portable wireless charger?

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Wireless charging is great, trust me.

I've had to get rid of too many phones because the charging port gets used so much. Doubly so if it lacks a proper headphone jack.

I echo your NFC comments, but wireless charging is great. I have a little wireless power brick with me, it's convenient and no need for cables.

Your 2.3m Instagram fans won't stop the FBI... Web star accused of plotting to launder millions from cyber-crime

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Re: Lock him up!

Oof, tough crowd..... it's a jooooooooooooke!

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Lock him up!

.. Because he's a social media star!!

When Facebook says you're not a good 'culture fit', it means you're not White or Asian enough – complaint

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Re: Crap Book, Crap Company

I agree with your objection!

FaceBum scans much better...

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"They are 2 totally different countries and cultures."

Asia is a country now? And across all of India AND Asia there's only one culture each? Hmm. Interesting take on geography.

Mind the airgap: Why nothing focuses the mind like a bit of tech antiquing

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Re: Distractions...

Teams is terrible. I was hoping the work from home thing might lead to LESS disruptively common team meetings.

Instead it's just, I dunno, sort of a way for people to reach other team members, or for managers to "check" on us or whatever.

Unfortunately my webcam has "broken".

Well bork me sideways: A railway ticket machine lies down for a little Windoze

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Amazing railway stations

Amazing history captured in an iconic building

Amazing lack of sense to fill these places with Windows machines

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Dodgy memory

That error code could well mean the memory's faulty

As is the memory of anyone who trusts rail travel these days...

'90s retro resurrection PowerToys hits 0.19, bringing raft of fixes and a final flash from the desktop

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Re: Does it fix the invisible Window Borders?

I believe it's by design.

So, yes, a feature, not a bug. Not that that mitigates owt.

Now that's a train delay Upminster with which London travellers shall not put

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Re: 'feels like March will never end'

It's a joke. Life in June is the same as March! March never ended!

When you bork... through a storm: Liverpool do all they can to take advantage of summer transfer, er, Windows

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Re: Lobster Pot

OK settle down for a fairytale..

Was once an establishment where a patron could congregate with companions and other like minded imbibers of sweet, merciful booze

Then one day a terrible ogre with a face too small for his gargantuan head came down to the kingdom, and assaulted the very notion of hostelry with his "Wetherspoons" curse:

Brexit leaflets on the tables.

Negligent working practices.

Crap anti-atmosphere clearly designed to make you drink more to escape the banality.

Diluting the Holy recipe of Curry down to beneath the bottom of the barrel.

But plucky hostelries rose up against this monstrous ogre! And in the before-time, us merry rebels did occupy as many as these boozers as possible - to refuse the lure of the wicked ogre and its assailance on culture and taste!

There are whispers even now that the fine rebelling alehouses may yet survive the dark COVID plague..

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Re: sigh

Yeah, it'll have an asterisk..


... for the amazing positive feat of not only doing it, but doing it despite the plague!

And that asterisk will always remind us all: this achievement is truly special, more so than any other title won.

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Re: The Swan

Oh yeah the Bridewell was a place I visited before the lockdown! It's a canny boozer, the ex prison architecture is fascinating.

I'm going to have to do a tour when it's all safe.. Just hope my fav haunts have survived. I'll eagerly try to keep Liverpool pubs going with an influx of my own cash (in return for fine ales, tangy ciders and Wobbly Bobs!)

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Re: Sounds like a night out in this hack's often less than fair city of Brighton

I've seen about three fights in Liverpool City centre in 20 years of drinking there.

You are shoehorning politics in. Stop it.

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Lobster Pot

Fully agree with the recommendation.. Doubly so if it's after a decent session in the Ship n Mitre! (ahh, pubs, remember those?)

Or if you are sufficiently brave / foolish in the exercising of choices for whistle-wetting, a pint of Wobbly Bob in the Swan on Wood Street. Upside of drinking Wobbly Bob: you never remember the stupid crap you obviously did when on it!

iPadOS 14: Apple's attempt to pry fondleslab from toddlers' mitts and make it more businesslike

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Re: Good news for android?

Why would they need to copy this Apple product?

I have a Samsung Galaxy Tab S3. Years old. It has a stylus and even understands my wonky "you should be a GP" handwriting.

It's almost as if you're an Apple fan looking for any stick to beat Android with..

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The image that it's just a large phone

Well, professionally I don't think they're on par, albeit not unheard of.

I am asking a lot of the average user but if I can't navigate a system with key combinations I'm not going to be as productive. That's faster than a mouse and faster than touch.

To me they're consumption devices. Nothing wrong with that.

But for production? Naah.

UK police's face recognition tech breaks human rights laws. Outlaw it, civil rights group urges Court of Appeal

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Intrusive idea anyway

My face is not for sale and remains my property

Maybe I'm too attached to Meatspace. But facial recognition for the general public should have failed at the first stage, Ethics

Belief in 5G conspiracy theories goes hand-in-hand with small explosions of rage, paranoia and violence, researchers claim

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Thumb Up

Hand in hand

That's odd, I thought belief in conspiracies had a solid correlation to gullibity, ignorance and lack of empathy.

Folk sure like to stick electric toothbrush heads in their ears: True wireless stereo sales buck coronavirus trends

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I have those! They're great.

I got foam earbuds for mine, a heck of an upgrade. My old Etyomitic wired ones had them and nothing else will do.. So yes, foam earbuds :)

Police and NHS urge British public not to call 101 and 111 non-emergency numbers after behind-the-scenes kit failure

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Vodafone mess up again?

I got downvotes last time I made a joke at their expense but boy, this really is shitty service.

Windows 10 once more in print condition: Microsoft applies out-of-band fix to Patch Tuesday cock-up

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The ultimate patch for Windows 10

Is rolling it back to Windows 7

(I was going to say Linux but that's too obvious!)

Whatsapp blamed own users for failure to keep phone number repo off Google searches

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Re: The true cost of using these "free apps"

Don't take this the wrong way (which seems easily done) but you could fare to be a wee bit less combative!! Pre-emptive sorry for the selfie reply you're bound to give. Please & Thanks go a long way.

Though I'd also like an answer to the worst-case-scenario questions. I've bought Mary Jane over WhatsApp for years and I'm free.

And though you phrased it very spikily, you may have a smidgen of a point with the ol' "insulting every WhatsApp user' thing. I support a football team who use it. My MP uses it (I know, I know) and my Labour MP uses it..

So, reluctantly, I echo the request for why this makes you a bad / gullible person.

Though do stop being so arrogant... You catch bees with honey.

Bloke rolls up to KFC drive-thru riding horse-drawn cart only to be told: Neigh

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Re: WTF?

Hawaiian pizza lovers of the world, unite!

... And march off a cliff!!

Rackspace changes name to – drum-roll please – ‘Rackspace Technology’

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Industry confusion

Perhaps they feared being mistaken for a shelving company.

Or one that performs breast augmentations in orbit.

IBM quits facial recognition because Black Lives Matter

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The the inclusive workplace with a dark history.

Not that you'd know it from their centennial presentation I saw when I was there. It trundled along a time line through their history, got to 1939, and they must have had a scant few years as the next year covered was 1950!

Xiaomi Redmi Note 9 Pro: £250 mobe still able to deliver value in a brutally competitive niche

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If it gets Revolution OS it'll have no slurp ware.

And tbh I think the slurping is overrated, you're not forced to use Xiaomi apps. Or at least I wasn't on my Mi 9 before rooting it.

XDA love Xiaomi phones, keep an eye on it, and it will be rootable and hence stop the slurp. Don't let it put you off.

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Re: Headphone Jack

Good question, but another good feature is an IR blaster!

Not that I turn off football matches in pubs or anything..

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Re: Please El Reg ...

My Mi 9 lasts two days. Yeah I don't game on it and I'm not going out, but it's useful, I rooted it. I can't speak for this phone but if you want battery life and no bloat, and you consider yourself technical, do root the phone!

NASA launches a challenge to fund AI systems for future spacecraft – hopefully without HAL-style errors

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Tried reading it. Was pleased it was right to left, and the art (done by humans) is great.

But it fast descends into nonsense, basically. Just read the dialogue, it really does sound like a chatbot!

OK Windows 10, we get it: You really do not want us to install this unsigned application. But 7 steps borders on ridiculous

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Re: "This app may harm your device"

Ooh 13 thumbs down - all from Redmond IP addresses!

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"This app may harm your device"

Should first come up when you try to install Windows 10.

The UK's favourite lockdown cheese is Big and Red but doesn't require a stinking great audit after consumption

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Re: Pfft!

But that one was pretty gouda!

Xiaomi has such Huawei with words: Our two new phones have 'easy access' to Google apps... unlike that other guy

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Root it.

As anti-brutality protests fill streets of American cities, netizens cram police app with K-Pop, airwaves with NWA

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Re: some things to consider, commenting from your nice safe keyboard

You're horrible and have this all wrong.

No beer for you.

Nice wallpaper you've got there. It would be a shame if it bricked your phone

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Re: Almost...

Android is better than anything else. Maybe you haven't used it in ten years.

Caveat: rooted Xiaomi, can't stand bloat. Samsung are iffy and likely to blame here.

You're biased.

5G mast set aflame in leafy Liverpool district, half an hour's walk from Penny Lane

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Re: Hm

I don't think the area matters a whole lot - hence his bike to travel - and aye, Mossley Hill is a nice, unassuming posh place. I think you have a good point that it might not be a conspiracy believer, it might be a simple arsehole or vandal.

Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes

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User education

So basically the user was befuddled by a colour picture.

Good grief. One wonders if black and white would have startled him less?



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