* Posts by Andrew Carpenter

19 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Aug 2007

Privacy campaigner vows legal challenge to Google Street View

Andrew Carpenter
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Oh dear...

.. won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!?

P.S. I for one welcome our new photo-taking overlords.

Apologies after teacher's 'Linux holding back kids' claim

Andrew Carpenter
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MS generosity?

"I am sure if you contacted Microsoft, they would be more than happy to supply you with copies of an older verison [sic] of Windows and that way, your computers would actually be of service to those receiving them..."

Yeah, right. *Points at article about MS inflating the price of Windows XP in order to push Vista*

Google removes Chrome beta wrapping

Andrew Carpenter

After Beta comes..

Gamma, then Delta, Epsilon, Zeta....

Another 180 'hover & stare' ducted fan bots for US forces

Andrew Carpenter

Don't worry

They're harmless yet annoying, and quite easy to take out.. just use your crowbar, or the gravity gun..

You don't have to be combine to work here ... but it helps!

Intel blogger slams employer over G45 IGP issues

Andrew Carpenter
Gates Horns

Content protection

Another legitimate user scuppered by DRM.

UK data watchdog gives Google spycar fleet the greenlight

Andrew Carpenter
Black Helicopters

Privacy International

They want to see how effective the face blurring technology is? All they have to do is visit http://maps.google.com and browse some of the existing StreetView images. The new ones of Paris even have the numberplate blurring in place, too.

Helicopter avatar is spying on you from above.

Lateral thought saves sizzling server

Andrew Carpenter

The lesson here is:

That NetWare servers don't crash at random.

Fire icon for obvious reasons.

Besuited cubicle monkey trashes office

Andrew Carpenter

Wireless monitor?

The fact that his monitor is able to operate with neither electricity or VGA signal cable either proves that he works for a very advanced technology giant, or the video is a fake.

Ballmer bitch slaps Vista

Andrew Carpenter
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@ Anonymous Coward

"What, like they did with Windows ME?"

They learned to kill off the 95/98 kernel in favour of the NT/2000 kernel. I'd say that was a lesson well learned.

Ohio man cuffed for shagging picnic table

Andrew Carpenter

Is nothing safe!?

First bicycles, then vacuum cleaners, and now picnic tables.

Where will it end?

El Reg reconstructs Heathrow T5 chaos

Andrew Carpenter

Yes, he's obviously the IT guy..

.. as he's the one with the ponytail.

Vista SP1 on track for mid-March release?

Andrew Carpenter


Microsoft can still release SP1 in mid-March.. they just need to redefine the length of the month to be at least 36 days. A patch for Outlook will be released to reflect this change.

Steve Ballmer lies to my mother

Andrew Carpenter
Paris Hilton

@ Scott

"I wonder what Paris uses for her mailbox?"

She uses a T-Mobile Sidekick, which famously got hacked a few years back.


Swedes demand return of heraldic lion's todger

Andrew Carpenter

Don't remove the penis..

..just add breasts. Phwoar.

NY corpse attempts to cash welfare cheque

Andrew Carpenter

Weekend at Bernies III

At least this sequel sounds more exciting than the first two 'Weekend at Bernies' movies.

BOFH: Balancing the budget...

Andrew Carpenter

It's true I tells ya

As a cog in the public-sector gears, I can assure you that this riduculous situation is unfortunately 100% accurate.

Microsoft kills Santa Claus

Andrew Carpenter


"Just as I find a peice of m$ software I could actually enjoy, they rip it away from me!"

There's a whole bunch of automated MSN bots just waiting to chat with you.. you can find a list of them at http://windowsliveagents.spaces.live.com/

Dear customer: you owe us $211 trillion

Andrew Carpenter
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Digit(al) Dilemma

What's the betting that 211010028257303 is his account number?

Mr and Mrs Renault cannot name daughter Megane

Andrew Carpenter

Car name

My boss went to school with a Cortina Ford. Also, a friend of mine is called 'Benjiman' after his parents spelled the name wrong when registering his birth.