Posts by Andrew Carpenter

Privacy campaigner vows legal challenge to Google Street View

Oh dear...

.. won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!?

P.S. I for one welcome our new photo-taking overlords.

Apologies after teacher's 'Linux holding back kids' claim

MS generosity?

"I am sure if you contacted Microsoft, they would be more than happy to supply you with copies of an older verison [sic] of Windows and that way, your computers would actually be of service to those receiving them..."

Yeah, right. *Points at article about MS inflating the price of Windows XP in order to push Vista*

Google removes Chrome beta wrapping

After Beta comes..

Gamma, then Delta, Epsilon, Zeta....

Another 180 'hover & stare' ducted fan bots for US forces

Don't worry

They're harmless yet annoying, and quite easy to take out.. just use your crowbar, or the gravity gun..

You don't have to be combine to work here ... but it helps!

Intel blogger slams employer over G45 IGP issues

Content protection

Another legitimate user scuppered by DRM.

UK data watchdog gives Google spycar fleet the greenlight

Privacy International

They want to see how effective the face blurring technology is? All they have to do is visit http://maps.google.com and browse some of the existing StreetView images. The new ones of Paris even have the numberplate blurring in place, too.

Helicopter avatar is spying on you from above.

Lateral thought saves sizzling server

The lesson here is:

That NetWare servers don't crash at random.

Fire icon for obvious reasons.

Besuited cubicle monkey trashes office

Wireless monitor?

The fact that his monitor is able to operate with neither electricity or VGA signal cable either proves that he works for a very advanced technology giant, or the video is a fake.

Ballmer bitch slaps Vista

@ Anonymous Coward

"What, like they did with Windows ME?"

They learned to kill off the 95/98 kernel in favour of the NT/2000 kernel. I'd say that was a lesson well learned.

Ohio man cuffed for shagging picnic table

Is nothing safe!?

First bicycles, then vacuum cleaners, and now picnic tables.

Where will it end?

El Reg reconstructs Heathrow T5 chaos

Yes, he's obviously the IT guy..

.. as he's the one with the ponytail.

Vista SP1 on track for mid-March release?

Mid-March

Microsoft can still release SP1 in mid-March.. they just need to redefine the length of the month to be at least 36 days. A patch for Outlook will be released to reflect this change.

Steve Ballmer lies to my mother

@ Scott

"I wonder what Paris uses for her mailbox?"

She uses a T-Mobile Sidekick, which famously got hacked a few years back.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/02/21/paris_hacked/

Swedes demand return of heraldic lion's todger

Don't remove the penis..

..just add breasts. Phwoar.

NY corpse attempts to cash welfare cheque

Weekend at Bernies III

At least this sequel sounds more exciting than the first two 'Weekend at Bernies' movies.

BOFH: Balancing the budget...

It's true I tells ya

As a cog in the public-sector gears, I can assure you that this riduculous situation is unfortunately 100% accurate.

Microsoft kills Santa Claus

@Law

"Just as I find a peice of m$ software I could actually enjoy, they rip it away from me!"

There's a whole bunch of automated MSN bots just waiting to chat with you.. you can find a list of them at http://windowsliveagents.spaces.live.com/

Dear customer: you owe us $211 trillion

Digit(al) Dilemma

What's the betting that 211010028257303 is his account number?

Mr and Mrs Renault cannot name daughter Megane

Car name

My boss went to school with a Cortina Ford. Also, a friend of mine is called 'Benjiman' after his parents spelled the name wrong when registering his birth.