* Posts by MaltaMaggot

25 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Jun 2018

Hackers KO Malta's Bank of Valletta in attempt to nick €13m


Re: Bank of Valletta celebrated Safer Internet Day

The phrase "Inxejjer bandiera hamra lejn barri" comes to mind..

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed


Re: Critical Mass?

the Space-Tea continuum...?

Techie finds himself telling caller there is no safe depth of water for operating computers


Re: Header pic

it is in fact the 'other end' of the animatronic t-rex from Jurassic Park (1993 version)....

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know


I once saw a microwave heaved out a first floor window for just such an offence,

Its contents, an Eskimo's lunch, still inside

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate


Re: Great for this Engineer

"I shall forthwith change my job title to Software Artist"

Whereas I in fact have a moderately well-established, parallel career as a Piss Artist.... *hic*

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password


Re: Loopy passengers

"In RPG terms..."

And a new favourite expository method is born...

2018 ain't done yet... Amazon sent Alexa recordings of man and girlfriend to stranger


I quite like...

.. technology. It is after all how I go about securing an income each month.

But this.... I'd rather try and start a fire with a wet scarf and a potato, huddled in a cave with some politicians and my least favourite relatives.

All hungry and baying for me to get some mouldy goat steaks cooked.

Creepy and Invasive stuff, that worryingly seems to get ever more popular, and thus pervasive...

LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing


Re: Why?

5L in 2weeks, perhaps better expressed as just over 8 1/2 pints in 14 days.. seems a bit light

To achieve satisfactory production output to meet current demand I can foresee requiring several of these deployed in a resilient architecture, with staggered start and a rolling production methodology to ensure future capacity

Add to that a DR site (probably the smalls bedroom), UPS (somewhere the dog wont chew it) and the insurance i'll need to takeout against my brother turning up unannounced and drinking the entire contents of units 1-3 (whether ready or not)....

Let alone the retraining of various family members as first line support..

This is either an ill thought out, hipster "ah-how-quaint-i-made-my-own-beer" folly - or a fantastic Services opportunity....

OSIRIS-REx space probe catches a whiff of water on asteroid Bennu



the next time one of my littles says 'awesome' I will make them;

a) read the definition of awesome in a dictionary

b) read this

c) read this again, until it sinks in

travel 1.2bn miles to reach out and touch something that could in parts be older than the solar system... ?

profoundly impressive.

Pasta-covered cat leads to kid night operator taking apart the mainframe


well that just sounds like an episode of Tom & Jerry... one of the crap 'new' ones

Bright spark dev irons out light interference


Justin in rusty dusty, er.. adjusty.. un-busty....?

Douglas Adams was right, ish... Super-Earth world clocked orbiting 'nearby' Barnard's Star


Re: Shame the em drive never worked out

go everywhere in 2nd.

all the time.

SAP slurps up Qualtrics for a cool $8bn, persuades firm not to IPO


"The result, we believe, will be a very unique end-to-end experi....OW!"

Yes. I threw that.

Unique is unique. A binary condition if you like.

It can not be partially, mostly, almost nor indeed 'very' unique.

Thank you please.....

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME


..."It's also amazing how such friends will often think it's beyond you if your job description doesn't match that of the crappy installer."...

and Wives.

UK data watchdog fines Facebook 17 minutes of net profit for Cambridge Analytica brouhaha


take care to differentiate AMOPs with AZMOPs

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s


quite a few 'bings' there Dave K - aim for a workplace chock full of 'bongs'..

less "Gah".. more "Mmmeh""

HMRC rapped as Brexit looms and customs IT release slips again



@kain - also, I think Ray Mears can 'swoop in' with a timely book on foraging for nuts and berries and building shelters out of potato skins... :-)

UK ruling party's conference app editable by world+dog, blabs members' digits


I'm struggling...

... to comprehend all this.

I mean I've read it and I understand the words. And the order they're in. And the sentences they form and the meanings derived thereafter...

Then I've read it again.

Whichever way you voted on that awful referendum, it's these utter imbeciles in charge come March, and frankly they shouldn't be left in charge of putting their own shoes on...

(disclaimer: I'm not suggesting anyone else is competent enough either, and I'm an expat with a detached perspective, and issues of competence when it comes to driving in flip-flops)

Now you can tell someone to literally go f--k themselves over the internet: Remote-control mock-cock patent dies


Re: This just underscores that patents are crap

"rubber stamping"....saucy

Home Office seeks Brexit tech boss – but doesn't splash the cash


Re: Not Enough if you ask me

< I don't think £100k is enough to persuade anyone competent to link their name to that crap >

.. no, but it would fund a before-and-after-deed-polling

London fuzz to get 600 more mobile fingerprint scanners


Re: @goldcd I'm guessing you still have the same right to be carted off to be identified

2 minutes of civil conversation will positively improve almost any situation. Full stop.

Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi


well... if you've heard the one about the panda entering the brothel, bento box in hand, then you'll know that the panda eats, shoots, and leaves as well...

You can take off the shades, squinting Outlook.com users. It has gone dark. Very dark


Lets Crowdfund some comedy on MS exploits...

Garth Marengi's Dark Interface anyone...?

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again


Re: Oops

... likewise, double-take on your handle there @Kubla...

In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying


Re: World Gin Day


An oft-muted sentiment round here "it only hurts when you stop"