Posts by Efer Brick

Rows, columns, and the search for a database that can do everything

Re: Snowflake has declined the opportunity to take part in this article.

bunch of melts!

Microsoft: You own the best software keyboard there is. Please let us buy it

In the last couple of weeks

I have attached my resume for your reference and hope to hear from you soon as I am currently working on the techno gym kit for the rest of the week but I will be back from the ancestral lands and I will be back from the ancestral lands and the rest of the week but will be back from Tuesday morning for the rest I will be back

LIDAR in iPhones is not about better photos – it's about the future of low-cost augmented reality

Lie-dar?

Hany for when at the House of Commons

Amazon internal chat app that censored talk of unions and ethics may 'never launch at all'

Well not now it wont*

Amzn has a bad enough name.

*Well, it might

Capgemini wins contract to look after legacy HMRC Aspire tech

At least it wasn't Infosys.

UK Home Office dangles £20m for national gun licence database system

Re: Vendors will have to move fast?

Nice one McGraw, now stop horsing around!

UK.gov threatens to make adults give credit card details for access to Facebook or TikTok

Re: Dead Cat

hurling? Is that a winter olympics event?

Super-rare wooden Apple 1 hand built by Jobs and Wozniak goes to auction

Obsolete?

Or will it run BigSurly?

Surrey County Council faces £700k additional SAP support fees as £30m Unit4 ERP set to miss go-live target

Don't pay the ransom - that's the current advice, right?

Cheeky chappy rides horse around London filling station, singing: 'I don't need petrol 'cos he runs on carrots'

I'm sure it's a lovely horse

https://youtu.be/FkHCaH-rt5M

Years of development, millions of lines of code, and Android can't even run a toilet

Can't have your "cake" and eat it.

So they say.

RIP Sir Clive Sinclair: British home computer trailblazer dies aged 81

Reincarnated as Elon Musk ?

Someone messing with the timeline?

Clive ahead of his time :-(

UK VoIP telco receives 'colossal ransom demand', reveals REvil cybercrooks suspected of 'organised' DDoS attacks on UK VoIP companies

GSMA and Euro-telcos argue for exemptions from big tech tax crackdown laws

In a recent survey...

100% of respondents said other people skills pay more tax.

Tired: What3Words. Wired: A clone location-tracking service based on FOUR words – and they are all extremely rude

Sofa King good

Activist raided by police after downloading London property firm's 'confidential' meeting minutes from Google Search

Great publicity for the campaign though

Let's see how far it goes.

Woman sues McDonald's for $14 after cheeseburger ad did exactly what it's designed to

Fast food...

Clue is in the name

Tesla battery fire finally flamed out after four-day conflagration

Re: How can we dance when our Earth is turning?

That's when you've downed a few too many tinnies!

What is your greatest weakness? The definitive list of the many kinds of interviewer you will meet in Hell

...weakness?

Has anyone ever said Kryptonite ?

Why do you want to work here?

Said the HR bot.

I don't.

Re: A couple of funny ones I can remember hearing from mates

Brilliant !!

Very similar to

Q: "How do the warp engines work?"

A: "Very well"

Re: That Meme

Humorous take from mock the week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DlR3AkCAd8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24yQo7T6WUg

Facebook pulls plug on mind-reading neural interface that restored a user's speech

Thinks "must have a w@nk"

Facebook : "wanna buy sex toys?"

That time a startup tried to hire me just to push clients' products in job interviews

"Fronking "

Think someone has just coined the verb for this behaviour pattern.

Realizing this is getting out of hand, Coq mulls new name for programming language

Re: Calcule Un Nouveau Théorème.

You can't

Calendly’s new logo perceived as either bog-standard or kind of crappy

Consultancy

Feeling flush, with the money in the bank

Whatever you've been doing during lockdown, you better stop it right now

Blas for me, blas for you.

or "Lift flatulence " ?

It's the UK contractor tax factor: IR35 outsiders gaining leverage in skills market, survey finds

Gravity sucks, so does IR35 ;-)

AWS Free Tier, where's your spending limit? 'I thought I deleted everything but I have been charged $200'

Re: AWS - Automated Wallet Slimming?

Slurping ?

American insurance giant CNA reportedly pays $40m to ransomware crooks

Re: $40m to the extortionists

They're insured. Whilst embarrassing, it's a small amount to CNA.

But yeah, the'll not want it to happen again.

Definitely in the wrong game

Open-source JavaScript project Babel 'running out of money' after employing paid maintainers, sponsors pull out

Charidee shop

PhuxAche

WTH are NFTs? Here is the token, there is the Beeple....

Re: Raising funds idea

yeah but you'll miss the cranks that have good ideas

A keyboard? How quaint: Logitech and Baidu link arms to make an AI-enabled, voice-transcribing mouse

?Hello, computer

who doesn't love a gif --- https://giphy.com/gifs/reactionseditor-reaction-3o7btVRbshbbaC8Ygg

You put Marmite where? Google unveils its latest AI wizardry: A cake made of Maltesers and the pungent black tar

Sounds better than

Marmite and Cheese hot cross buns

What happens when back-flipping futuristic robot technology meets capitalism? Yeah, it’s warehouse work

Bezos and (Call me)-Kenneth

"Made" for each other

Ministry of Defence tells contractors not to answer certain UK census questions over security fears

That's forward thinking

Provisions for data loss built right in

Facebook uses one billion Instagram photos to build massive object-recognition AI that partly trained itself

Hotdog?

Or not?

SpaceX small print on Starlink insists no Earth government has authority or sovereignty over Martian activities

But, how much BTC per unit of oxygen?

Fancy a £130k director of technology role with the UK's Ministry of Justice? All you need to do is 'fix the basics'

Fantastic opportunity for someone

To funnel cash to their corporate pals, BoJo style.

Ring, Ring, why don't you give me a call? Amazon-owned doorbells aren’t answering after large-scale outage

You're new here, right?

Re: Online only? That's the idea...

You're onto something, I think you should knock on some doors and see who answers

Re: Knock Knock

fnarr fnarr

Spare a thought for Asos.com techies: Topshop acquisition coincides with deadline for global retail system go-live

Assuming they don't return it

You look for the largest objects in the universe and two come along at once: Astroboffins spot mega radio galaxies dwarfing Milky Way

Insignificance...

“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

150,000 lost UK police records looking more like 400,000 as Home Office continues to blame 'human error'

the 3 absolutes

Death

Taxes

Data loss

Hollywood drone pilot admits he crashed gizmo into cop chopper, triggering emergency landing

What a CLINT

Loser Trump is no longer useful to Twitter, entire account deleted over fears he'll whip up more mayhem

Re: You Could Be Next

First they "came for" those that violated the terms and conditions.

Then they came for ...?