Hollywood Protocol?
ROLFLMAO! Superb!
26 publicly visible posts • joined 17 May 2018
For my sins, I worked in British Gas in what was then known euphemistically within the company as the Debt Bureau. Ok, it was back in the late 1990's, but as with all businesses of this size, Corporate Management style and ethos is darn near impossible to change direction radically, Oil tanker ships and Titanic comes quickly to mind.
Firstly, Thatcher and later, Major's Tell Sid privatisation share promotion missed several things which came back and burnt them badly, mostly by stopping British Gas from competing on open and futures market price in the hope that other power suppliers would come in and take away their customers to provide real competition to a privatised monopoly. This led of course to massive corruption as "agents" (i.e., Door to Door salespeople) signed up home owners, their dogs or anyone or no one in particular, changing the power suppliers of many homes and businesses, taking the large commissions and running, spending months on holidays in the sun, before returning to the UK and repeating the process with another supplier. The hassle that too many people had in finding out who their true supplier was and how to get back to the one they wanted took up most days a week. Some cases where single properties had been signed up to several different suppliers by different agents within a short period of time were a particular nightmare for everyone involved except the agents themselves who were getting a sun tan.
And of course, there were the c*ck ups, like as mentioned by some others, the joint metering on blocks of flats, down to individual meters. It had to happen, and it did. one evening , just before the 8:00 pm close down time in a shadow team, we started getting calls through from one particular address. It didn't take long to realise that Transco had gone in and removed a meter for non usage, and taken the main joint meter in error. I phoned up Transco, to suggest that they get someone in to get it sorted and was told it wasn't important and it would be done next day. I advised him that I had actually seen the names of the residents of that block, many of which were known to me from reading newspapers, I then suggested that if and when the CEO and Transco executives ever went before a House of Commons or Lords committee it may not go well. The subsequent a*se kicking from the board room down to lower levels would get more painful until it reached the person who thought the next day would be acceptable. Hint was taken.
To confirm one other point, to work out the Direct Debit, the computer system and program would work out the previous years billing, weather predictions included, approx. exchange rate changes (oil and gas is priced in $US), plus a fancy algorithm, bit of guess work and the value divided by twelve. The customer would then phone up shouting that the increase was stupid, we were rogues, thieves and other such imprecations. We had to quickly check our then base systems, check up readings, ask if there had been any many changes in circumstances (babies. new gas heated swimming pool etc.) work out the actual cost and change the payment levels back to normal. Wasn't absolutely perfect, but it seemed to work out. And of course we had people in the summer months wanting the excess built up (to go on holiday, etc.) and forgetting that the winter would mean higher bills to pay off instead of balancing out over the year.
Would I trust Centrica (British Gas) or any of the main providers with the ability to turn off power at will to any one house or area, while leaving the vulnerable or important (hospitals, surgeries and so on) supposedly safe - Nope! Do I hope that some smaller providers return to the market with a more substantial cash base, Yes! Can I see that happening? Nope, for many reasons. Mostly to do withy the stupid policy of relying on solar and/or wind without a back up of nuclear or gas.
[Not a lotta people know this: Centrica is the main company holding British Gas the power supplier to homes and businesses and BG the supplier of gas and electricity to British Gas. It may be considered by some that it is convenient that not many know there is a difference. ]
Many years ago I was friends with a Detective in the local CID. This was back in the good ol' days when smoking and drinking alcohol whenever, numbed the brain into allowing work to be done. It was well known in his office that he had a bottle of the Scottish elixir in the secure locked file drawer of his desk to be used for emergencies only. That day came for his colleagues when he was at court giving evidence. Upon his return to the office, he immediately opened the drawer for a reviver from the bottle only to discover it's disappearance. Subsequent investigation found that the drawer lock had none of the scratch marks of being picked, while questioning of potential suspects was futile as the normally busy and crowded office was suspiciously now empty. Finally, a colleague took pity on him and explained that the desk had carefully been taken apart, piece by piece, the bottle removed and the desk fully reassembled before the libation was shared out and the now empty bottle lost as evidence.
Years ago, I was in a managers meeting, 20 or so of us minions, sector manager, area manager, auditors plus our CEO showing his face. Usual farce. Then some smart Alec started complaining about the TLA's and FLA's that were coming down from HO without explanation. Much nodding of heads and general grunts of agreement from the top table. Much later that night when we were trying to drink the entertainment fund dry, the CEO came over and quietly asked what TLA's and FLA's were. He was informed Three and Four letter acronyms. Thoughtful look, point taken and for once, acted upon.
The argument about cost of Wind Power against Nuclear is valid, but again, Economics 101: if the demand is high, and the supply cannot fulfil it, then the price will rise dramatically. 2.5gw actual supply in a capacity of 24gw in mid-summer is obviously not much use when the demand is 29gw, and I can still remember the freeze in 2010 when there were sub-zero temperatures for 2 two week periods when a "bubble" formed over the UK and more electricity was used to keep the windmills heated and available to work, than the windmills themselves provided. So in summer when there is no wind, or winter when there is usually too much and the windmills have to be stopped because they can't handle storms and high winds, there will be no available backup. Nuclear, suddenly becomes very cheap indeed.
Now one of the main problems is that there is still no real way to store electric power in the amounts required for society to function in case of supply flow problems IE. lack of wind. Plenty of ideas, dreams and fancies, but not here, and with so many practical problems in manufacture and design, probably for many years to come, and in a lot of cases, forever.
Hydrogen is reputed to be very clean, but on breakdown, it has major problems, the main one is it's ability to go bang when you least expect it. Hydrogen-powered vehicles will require very expensive equipment, electronics and very regular maintenance to confirm that the vehicle will not spread its contents in a spray of haemoglobin and crispy human body parts. Just imagine the fun if, in a traffic jam, one vehicle set off a chain reaction from one to the other hydrogen-powered vehicles around it. The visuals of a domino effect on the waiting 4x4 Chelsea tractors, being driven by yummy mummies waiting to drop off their precious darlings at the school gates, makes a rather dramatic perception that would send entire HV marketing departments insane.
Many thanks to previous commentators on this thread, quite a lot I was already aware of, but learning from others more knowledgeable is always a pleasure.
Worked as a manager in retail jewellery for a large national company back in the days before EPOS tills. At a regional managers meeting, along with the Area Manager and CEO, the AM was giving his usual pep speech to impress the CEO with his management skills, when he digressed to glowingly commend one of the managers for never being short or over in his daily takings records. Much hilarity, and even the CEO started grinning. A puzzled AM had to have it explained to him that the manager concerned was running a box, where overages were put aside until needed to top up a shortage. It should be noted that the amounts involved were normally less than 50p and balanced out over a period of time, but it was impossible to have consistently exact records. Anytime the missing amount was near a £5 or £10, then someone was on the take, and security precautions like having double checking change etc. was put into effect.
Private Eye has been running with the story for years. They had a large 4 page in depth spread a couple of issues ago, latest one mentions that another case is coming forward as apart from the original 550 EX-PO masters and sub-PO masters, there is another 350 cases to be considered = 900 in all, plus many others probably coming forward.
Declaration, never been a contractor, not a permie anymore (too old), just an interested observer.
Contractors, when you consider it, is a pure form of capitalism: a person selling their skills/time either individually or through a trade guild of some sort. The contractor has picked up specialist skills through self learning through college, University, work/job or just life. And is willing to sell those skills and availability to the highest payer.
Permies, supposedly similar, but in selling their time and availability, they will also learn skills to enable the business to expand/survive, and by doing so, will increase their value and incidently their wages, in theory, to retain their services instead of allowing them to transfer those skills to a competitor business. (A number of times I have moved jobs, most of the original employers offered higher wages to stay, a couple, significantly higher. My thoughts were, should have done it sooner. Greenbackmail was never my thing, as you could only really do it once.) I have to admit that I was one of the very few at the time who did this, as too many were only happy to hang on for retirement or until the business model imploded, bankruptcy, new business models arriving, bought by competitors and closed.
Nowadays, most people have transferable skills of some sort, and so it comes down to availability to work as required by the employers. Zero hours contracts anyone? Supposedly, offering similar terms to the Contractor status, but at the behest of retention by a single employer, and being taxed under PAYE/NI/etc.. Paid holidays? Paid sick leave? Maternity /paternity leave and pay? Pension?
Conspiracy theory, is that while capitalism is fine for some, it has to be controlled. In Australia, articles in this site refer to the wants of the government to create a cashless society, and without notice or alarm, it is also happening in the UK and elsewhere as bank branches and post offices close. Records of every electronic transaction people make will be available to the government. All those who provide grey services, window cleaners, dog walkers, barbers, cafe owners, or all those whose financial records are a little, er, interesting, will be recorded. Even the tooth fairy! And Contractors, no off the record side jobs (or at least that is how the government sees it) and brown envelopes.
As been oft said, "Always follow the money" and other scenarios become visible. Governments have a lot of stupid people involved, but they also have some very clever ones. And a few are too clever for anyone's good...
Just a thought from a re-run episode of NCIS, body was found in the bath, which had been filled with cat litter. Seems, since I've never tried it, the kitty litter absorbs all the body fluids and the smells of a decomposing body.... Think Simon and the PFY have missed out on this one....
I've been talking to an ex-postmaster about this for sometime (I also read Private Eye who have also been following the case, he doesn't) and over the period, some things occurred to me which have been confirmed in reports on the BBC news pages.
That the daily audit figures were altered at night or when the post office was closed for weekends or bank holidays, normally to the negative, means to me that someone had found a flaw in the computer program and was stealing the money. The number of 550 post-masters who are involved in this case, the total sums of money claimed by the PO as missing leading to criminal court action and for too many, prison, is just the tip of the ice berg. Many other Post Masters will have paid in money to cover their losses and avoid a criminal record, while quite a few will have died since this has gone on so long. The person/s involved must have been overjoyed that the clot at the top was so insistent on computers not being able to lie enabling them to keep on stealing.
Being on the DR call centre service team, the alternative premises were, the company's IT dept! When the plug was pulled, we were bussed over, with our headsets in the leatherette bags, and went to our allocated desks.
Er, we had the latest headsets, to fit the advanced phones that we had fitted a couple of years previously. In front of us we had computers with IT systems and programs that we couldn't change, even by turning off and reaccessing with our own access codes.
Oh, and the phones? 2 systems out of date, our headsets couldn't connect - the plugs were totally different. When we did get compatible head sets (after an hour), no one knew how to access the phone codes.
After 4 hours, it was decided that we could go home, so we all went to the nearest pub, where we found a load of familiar inebriated techies, whereupon we decided to follow their example in sampling the beverages.
Not sure how I got home....
Over a period of some years working from being a startup operation, where no one had any real idea of organisation and we expected to take messages and spend a couple of hours unpaid after the phones had closed, to try and remember what was supposed to be done and mostly failing.
Then came the first scripts which had to be stuck to or face "a meeting with management", after a couple of months management realised that most callers had needs which weren't mentioned in the scripts, so they were quietly abandoned and the systems refined allowing a free flowing system to evolve. Then a new manager, and new scripts, followed by the dawning realisation that customers were not happy with the "new" experience and as we were in a high £ value environment, we went back to free flow. Government legislation next, and new scripts, which when somebody realised that most of the callers were on about totally different reasons and we went back to free flow. Then it dawned on senior management of the money making opportunities in pushing unnecessary products, which needed of course, a script, until the legal team advised it was not just immoral but severely, illegal.
Happily, I have now another job, before the robot system really got going, (bought from an Aussie pizza company and upgraded).
Don't know if anyone is interested, but the sponsor with the name in front of the cockpit is IWC Schaffhausen, (it's in Switzerland before anyone goes on about it). But surprisingly there is a WW2 connection. There were two great pre-war watch brands, IWC and Zenith. Zenith supplied the axis powers with watches and time pieces, while IWC supplied the allies. After the war, Zenith tried to get back into the UK watch market, but it took them many years as memories died hard. IWC on the other hand went upmarket - both companies are still in existence. And I still have my fathers, IWC chronograph watch from when he was a navigator in the RAF in WW2.
Been here too long. Elderly parents getting over 40 scam calls a day, now since I got a Truecall unit, down to maybe 4 a week and those are set not to ring but given a chance to leave a message.
So how do these ba******ds get away with it. There is an international treaty where phone calls are guaranteed to get through from caller to callee, which dates from several decades ago. Back in those days, quite simply, nobody would have been able to believe how technology has "improved". To make it possible, the telephone companies each receive a micro payment for every call that passes through its system and into the next company. Many micropayments make major bucks.
While the technology does exist to block the spammers and scammers, obviously by some of the telephone companies selling boxes which do the work, until the governments around the world sit down and renogiate the treaties, nothing will happen. The government's are quite happy to allow the companies to take the blame as they don't want to be involved, but as too many people block the calls, they question is how long will it be till people question the requirement to have and pay for a telephone line when other alternatives exist. The telephone companies are major tax cows for government Exchequers so expect to see some movement reasonably soon.
Back in the day, S&N built a very expensive and technological advanced brewery in Newcastle with the idea that the computers would analyse any beer and be able to program the machines to reproduce exactly and mass produce it.
Ah! Now the catch, the Edinburgh Fountainbridge brewery produced 80/- heavy which was very popular in Scotland, but didn't travel well but was sold in England as Scottish Bitter, where it was also popular. Most Scots were aware of the name change, and travelling through England tried the Bitter which nearly always didn't meet with approval.
You should by now be getting an idea of the disaster that was evolving. Yep, S&N took some 80/- beer from Fountainbridge brewery, passed it through the system and so confident were they, the barrels, cans, kegs and whatever were filled with 80/- to go to Scotland and Bitter to England. Remember when I mentioned that the beer didn't travel... The professional beer drinkers in Scotland and England discovered that their favourite beverage now tasted unusual and to their tastes, unpleasant. Bitter no matter how it was branded as 80/- did not sell, and 80/- branded as Bitter was similar.
Within a short time, Fountainbridge was saved, for a few years at least.
*For those born in the 80's and 90's and since, 80/-, pronounced eighty shilling, referred to the tax paid on a barrel of beer and was imposed on the strength of the brew rather than the style, but since brewers (and at one time there were 30 different breweries in Edinburgh alone) were well aware of what was selling, the styles became very similar. Amalgamation of the brewers went ahead and we ended up with S&N, cutting costs as the accountants tried to maintain profits, and dividends to shareholders. That history has a bad reputation for repeating itself, I shall not comment on.
Worked in British Gas some years ago before smart meters were even a glint in a politicians eye, and one of the fun things was when any one told me that their meter Gas or Electric was recording too much power being used (funny it was never, ever the other way round) and that their bill was too high.
The meters had evolved over 100 years, and quite simply, they worked, every bug and problem had been solved. Nearly every trick and criminal action that human ingenuity had used to get power cheaply or free had been recorded and easily recognised. Yes they had to be replaced after 20 years, because it was always worth while running a check (especially with dangerous things like gas (goes boom) or electricity can kill, shocking I know) before being cleaned up and fitted back into someone else's house as a 20 yo replacement.
Yes, there was a charge for changing a meter and testing (£50 repaid if a fault was found), but the failure rate was something like 1 in a hundred thousand after testing. And Yes, there were occasions when high usage was real, because someone eg: had wired up a block of flats to a single house hold meter, or had a new swimming pool fitted to a house (why anyone had thought heating the pool was free....), or any number of interesting cases but it was nearly always human cock up rather than the meters to blame. (Or the time someone phoned up to request BG supply gas to the house she was just about to move into, and it was discovered that of all 1000 houses in the estate, built 5 years previously, none had ever received a gas bill as Transco had forgotten to register the meters as in use after fitting them. Ooops!)
How do the telecoms make money? As per national treaties going back many years, every call must be connected. To encourage the companies to do this, every company through which the call travels, receives a micropayment from the originator of the call. Many micropayments is a hell of a lot of dosh. It's like asking a heroin addict to receive payment for injecting themselves billions of times a day....
Having accidentally been caught out by the little jelly bears of satan, all I can add is that they should be banned under the Geneva Convention. After eating a handful, your stomach will start rumbling about an hour later - you will only have a few seconds before the explosion. Hopefully, you will be sitting down, unencumbered around your nether regions of any clothing, on the toilet, in the bushes, behind trees, very hopefully, in privacy, hanging on to something heavy enough to prevent going into orbit - otherwise, things get very messy........On the other hand, probably the most effective laxative known to man!