* Posts by SuperGeek

232 publicly visible posts • joined 14 May 2018


Getting to the bottom of BMW's pay-as-you-toast subscription failure


I knew this would backfire!

BMW are like Apple. Over-engineered, overpriced garbage, rather similar to the subscription idea!

PEBCAK problem transformed young techie into grizzled cynical sysadmin


Re: Plausible...

Talented Witty Appreciative Thoughtful? :)

Decades-old Home Office asylum system misses EOL deadline, no new timetable in place


what a surprise....not!

The UK Gov are a laughing stock.

Smart Meter deadline: Overzealous, missed and over budget.

Grenfell cladding fiasco: Still a joke and not corrected across the UK.

Electric Cars and Heat Pumps: Way overzealous and probably going to be out by 20 years!!

This isn't mentioning all the other crap they have denied/missed. And now we have the school roof nonsense. They'll narcissist their way out of that too!!

AI on AI action: Googler uses GPT-4 chatbot to defeat image classifier's guardian


Sounds like an orange lump

"The Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."

I think they meant The Trump, because that description fitted him perfectly, albeit without the word "narcissist".

Google's browser security plan slammed as dangerous, terrible, DRM for websites


Re: Scraping

And FarceBook, and TikToxic! Down with them into the crusher! Make paperclips and tincans with them!

Asus blames 'thermal stress' for fried SD card readers in Ally handhelds


The SD card reader on my Latitude 7390 gets quite hot under sustained write and it's nowhere near the heatsink. I use an Endurance grade card as a kind of HDD in this machine, as it's a minimalist ultrabook style. The SD reader on this is wired to the PCIe bus, so is quite fast, and gets warm under heavy write load like torrenting. It hasn't crapped out yet.

I wonder if the heat from the Ally is melting solder somehow.....

Musk's X tries to win advertisers back with discounts


Re: Watching Musk run this into the ground...

Now all we need is for Musk to do the same for FarceBook, and then TikToxic!

Want to live dangerously? Try running Windows XP in 2023


Re: Chromium 86 based browser for XP

An old Norton joke between me and my business partner. "Norton Systemworks? No it bloody doesn't!"

Obscure internet boutique Amazon sues EU for calling it a Very Large Online Platform


Could be worse....

They could be on a FLOP list (F*cking Large Online Platform) Count yourself lucky, smiley box bazaar!

BOFH: Cough up half a grand and we'll protect you from AI


AI. Making pointless lives better.

That's going on a T shirt!! ;)

Gen Z and Millennials don't know what their colleagues are talking about half the time


Gen Z

In the future will tell you that you did a good job by saying, You did "lit af" today!!

Apparently lit af means "good as f**k". Kids, Sheesh! Hella nonsense!

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business



Always make sure when buying a sausage factory that you do your due diligence and "case" the joint first otherwise the result will be "Offal"

OK, OK. I'll get my coat. The ones with the packet of beef and pork Richmonds in. Sausage and mash at my place anyone? :)

Meta tells staff to return to office three days a week


Re: Zuck admits Metaverse is dead

"So Zuck is admitting the metaverse is dead". A narcissist NEVER admits fault. Only someone else's.

Shocks from a hairy jumper crashed a PC, but the boss wouldn't believe it


Re: Static

"There was enough ventilation that the smell of un-shod feet wasn't oppressive...."

A cheesy joke here would be a Brie-liant idea! I'll get my coat!

Microsoft scrambles to fix Windows 11 'aCropalypse' privacy-battering bug


Re: See also Metadata

Downvoted you because that's not fair. How are everyday users supposed to know what the hell Metadata, or EXIF actually is?

Thanks to generative AI, catching fraud science is going to be this much harder


Re: Goodhart's Law

Fake it till you make it.....or not!

OpenAI's ChatGPT is a morally corrupting influence


Re: Hmm, great!

I tried signing up last night, upon entering phone number for verification code, it said, "We are experiencing a high volume of suspicious activity from phone numbers like yours. Please contact OpenAI support"

Screw that!

Midjourney, DeviantArt face lawsuit over AI-made art


DeviantArt are bad for deepfake

I've had some of my work defaced by people using FaceApp to change faces and backgrounds on my work then reuploading as their own. DeviantArt don't care, maybe this will change it!

Apple says 2017 MacBooks don't have FlexGate defect. Aussie tribunal orders a fix anyway


Display cable?

That looks more like heat damage due to the machine heat being ejected towards the screen. Apple for some reason put the heatsink/fan between the base and screen. DELL copied that with my G3 3779. It causes the plastic layers (refractors, deflectors, etc) in the screen to warp. A display cable too short would flex and break, causing coloured lines, and other symptoms. I've had laptops that have pulled the LVDS socket off the back of the screen due to a manufacturing defect, or it having been previously fiddled with and put back wrongly.

FYI: BMW puts heated seats, other features behind paywall


Hold up....

Is this a VERY late April Fools joke, or has Apple secretly bought BMW?

I guess top brass at BMW really are Billionaire Moronic W*nkers!

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout


Re: Cruel parents

Phyllis Sophical? Heh.

Meetings in the metaverse: Are your Mikes on?



Which one of you is Mike Hunt?

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll get my coat....

BOFH: The evil guide to upgrading switches


Mental health!

Nice bit of gaslighting at the end! "It says 2022!" "Oh, that's for the beans!" I feel sorry for the Boss. He gets gaslit so much I'm surprised he doesn't spontaneously internally combust!

Bank had no firewall license, intrusion or phishing protection – guess the rest


Re: Without reading the article

"They realised their mistake, paid their licence arrears, put in place a system to prevent recurrence, extensively audited their systems to ensure no intrusion had occurred, write a grovelling apology to their customers and by their quick corrective action managed to avoid being exploited?"

Does Hell freeze over once a blue moon?

Review: ASUS dual-screen laptop may warm your heart, will definitely warm your lap


Any heat...

Can be bad news. Repeated on/off cycles cause heating/cooling thermal cycling of solder joints, which recently killed my Dell G3 3779 gaming machine, even run on a cooling pad and undervolted! And on modern single board machines it gets expensive, as I can guarantee it'll happen out of warranty!

Unable to write 'Amusing Weekly Column'. Abort, Retry, Fail?


Re: Turbo Pascal - Missing Semi-Colon at line 454

"The command to go to the lats line the file was B, however, if you were already on the last line it would print an error message.


Bad Bottom"

Is that the program telling you you're a pain in the arse?

Make assistive driving safe: Eliminate pedestrians


Re: Tesla

"If you advertise it as an "autopilot", then it's an autopilot. Switch on, leave it to it. Not a driving assistance. Don't they have trade description laws in the States?"

Apparently it's the same with planes. Autopilot is not self flying, only "pilot assistance"? So why don't they call it Assistpilot? Then it can't be classed as misadvertising! Tesla can use the name too, and it's self explanatory!

Bouncing cheques or a bouncy landing? All in a day's work for the expert pilot


Re: Serial to VGA? All you need is an adapter!

"RS? Recommended Standard or Radio Spares, depending on which RS you mean."

For some customers, they're the kind that don't know their RS from their L Bows!

Big shock: Guy who fled political violence and became rich in tech now struggles to care about political violence


No shock!

"'I recognize that I come across as lacking empathy,' billionaire VC admits"

Like most fatcat narcissists then?

Foxstuck: Firefox browser bug boots legions of users offline


Foxgate? Firewall?

No more DRM-free downloads as Amazon's ComiXology app set to disappear inside Kindle




Sorry, a frog in my throat there!

Canon: Chip supplies are so bad that our ink cartridges will look as though they're fakes


Even more weird...

BMW this week announced due to the shortage of semiconductors they were leaving out the indicator control module on all models...

No, not April yet, just sarcasm. Although they don't get used anyway ;)

Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault


Knock knock...


Felix who?

Felix that 9v battery I left lying around outta the smoke alarm, he'll get a shock!!

Apple custom chip guru jumps ship to rejoin Intel


What they say about grass...

It wasn't greener on the fruity side?

You've stolen the antiglare shield on that monitor you've fixed – they say the screen is completely unreadable now


As a self employed mobile technician....

(WARNING: If you're eating you might want to, uh, not be!)

Not so long ago a customer of mine called me out saying his son's computer was overheating and shutting down. The son's father told me that he'd run the computer with no cover on for a few days as they'd fitted a new component and couldn't get the side panel to stay on fully. After a few days with the cover off they'd got it back on. This was under a dark desk.

Suddenly, it had started overheating. And, they'd not been able to find the family gerbil after it had gone walkabout, three days previous, after making a break for it from its improperly latched cage. I knew what was coming, and still can't get the image out of my head. The family gerbil, headless, decimated by the CPU fan (a high torque Corsair one), splatted all inside the case. It must have been snuggled in there as they put the cover back on, snuggled under the horizontal HDD cage so they didn't see it, where it had come out to investigate the big spinny, draughty thing later on. The guy had gone to make us all cups of tea. I didn't know how to break it to him, as his daughter loved the little furry guy.

I just walked into the kitchen and said, "I don't know how to break this to you, but I found the gerbil.....". He was smart enough to put two and two together. He told me not to bother cleaning the computer. "Chuck it in the bin, we'll buy a new one from you, and tell my son it is unrepairable."

Phew. I didn't fancy cleaning gerbil guts at all! Nicotine is nothing in comparison! The father kept the gerbil decimation a secret, and told the kids he'd escaped out the door or a window. I built them a new PC and had the old one shredded, I wasn't stripping it.....

Windows takes a breather in London's Spitalfields


Not to end 2021 on a bigger downer...

But you have an apostrophe where it shouldn't be!

"and to mark the occasion we present the 12 Bork's of Christmas."

Gah! Drives me nuts! Happy 2022 :)

Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it


Re: How about Toast?

"would you like a toasted teacake?"

Or if you live in Yorkshire, their own breed of golden bread known as a "terst"ed teacake!

Swooping in to claim the glory while the On Call engineer stands baffled


Re: Hands On

"Assuming prodding may involve the use of hammers. Large adjustable spanners may be substituted if you find yourself suddenly hammerless."

Hehe, Photonicinduction comes to mind! "Where's my 'amma?"

Then when he's "fixed" it, "I popped it!!"

He's a crazy awesome Londoner who does crazy experiments with VERY high voltages! I recommend giving his YouTube channel a watch!

Reg scribe spends 80 hours in actual metaverse … and plans to keep visiting


Re: Cultural Appropriation



"The Metaverse doesn't even exist yet and already there are annoyingly self-righteous cyclists in it"

These bloody cyclists, they get where Lycra can't! /s

Whenever automakers get their hands on chip supplies, the more expensive vehicles are first in line – NXP


Re: "[integrated combustible engine] WRONG"

"internal combustion engine, which is itself incombustible."

Try telling that to Vauxhall Zafira owners in the UK :)

Zuckerberg wants to create a make-believe world in which you can hide from all the damage Facebook has done


Re: Waiting for virtual reality

"As long as they are building the b-Ark and he gets a seat, then that would be fine"

Well, Zuckerberg is b-Ark-ing up the wrong tree but we knew that already!

Good Grief! Ransomware gang has only gone and pwned the NRA – or so it claims


"I hope they present the information using bullet points. I wouldn't want to shell out for the full report."

Careful. You might "trigger" more jokes, or was that the "aim" and "scope" all along?

Windows terminates here. Please remember to finish setting it up on arrival


Re: Seriously, guys

Hehe, so you're calling all the adults and professionals who tinker with Pis, children? Nice, we're all young at heart :)

Fatal Attraction: Lovely collection, really, but it does not belong anywhere near magnetic storage media


Re: So what happens...

"Good luck getting rid of them again."

My local SUEZ owned tip loves them as I'm sure they get paid for it. I've even bought stuff off them to repair. Scratch my back I'll scratch yours kinda arrangement. First name terms with the manager-ess :)

Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram deplatform themselves: Services down globally


Re: Facebook down..... side benefits?

"And for those of us with family stuck abroad in a pandemic won't be able to talk at all. Yay!"

Phones exist. You know, the function of the "smartphone" that is its main feature? Call them, and, you know, use your voice. Hard to understand in these days of keyboard tippy-tappy, I know.


Re: Champagne for...

"A case of finest bubbly, vint, brew, or spirits to the poor techie who "hit the button", and I'm looking forward to the "Who, Me?"!"

It could have been a cleaner plugging in their crappy Dyson! :)

Activision Blizzard to pay out three days of annual profit to settle sex discrimination case


"“I am sorry that anyone had to experience inappropriate conduct, and I remain unwavering in my commitment to make Activision Blizzard one of the world’s most inclusive, respected, and respectful workplaces."

Only cause you've been caught!

Texas cops sue Tesla claiming 'systematic fraud' in Autopilot after Model X ploughed into two parked police cars


"Maybe the police should tone down their lighting, if it's causing accidents due to blinding computer vision systems?"

No. The strobes are designed for human vision. Camera vision systems are a small minority.

'Extraordinary' pigs step in to protect Schiphol airport from marauding geese


At least

The management will feel the numbers go 'down' after a while, this won't seem as quackers a plan. Wing it and see.... :)