Posts by Sam not the Viking

Defunct comms link connected to nothing at a fire station – for 15 years

Scramble Scramble

A 100-year-old company making specialist, rotating machinery for a wide variety of industries, including equipment for the armed forces, especially the Navy during WWI &II. As trainees, later in the same century, we used to get sent all over the factory to find old records and files etc. It was interesting in its own way and you developed techniques to retrieve information from long ago. The records were all paper or perhaps micro-fiche. One such repository was underneath an old building which I found out had been reinforced during WWII. The basement had been significantly extended, used as an air-raid shelter and the roof as an observation post. It was deep, dark, dusty and musty in places. In my wanderings in this dungeon, behind some old bookshelves, I found an old doorway into a small room which had clearly been out of use for decades. Curious, I moved the shelving...... and opened the door..... An old light-switch powered a single bulb to reveal a small desk and chair with a single telephone: vintage rotary type with twisted cord to the handset. You will have seen these in old wartime films.... On lifting the handset, it gave a dial-tone but I was too nervous and junior to try a call. I imagined it was a direct line to Biggin Hill....

I reported this information to our switchboard (three telephonists; it was a long time ago), then the bosses..... "It could be associated with the confidential/secret nature of some of our business." I was instructed to leave it alone. No-one else went to see it; "Urghh! It's dirty down there."

The building was demolished twenty years ago but it wouldn't surprise me if underneath the new housing estate, sometimes there is a ghostly ringing sound from a room that was built over.

Uptime guarantees don't apply when you turn a machine off, then on again, to 'fix' it

Re: Automation needed

Your comment about a cleaning lady/man rang a distant bell..... When we were ejected from the old company and set up on our own, we were successful and eventually decided we could employ cleaners rather than an unenthusiastic rota.

The consortium that got the contract, to clean about five offices, reception, toilets and kitchen etc. comprised some ex-employees from the old company. One of them was a super-highly skilled machinist; his task had been typically to machine 8-m long crankshafts for large diesel engines on a bespoke lathe. These forgings were very expensive before they reached the machining stage. Not to belittle cleaners but it felt such a waste of talent/skill to take him on as a cleaner. He took the contract with good grace and did a good job until we were taken over and the accountants appointed a different set of cleaners; it will surprise no-one that this lot were slightly cheaper and much less competent.

For all those who deserve better ---->

Botched migration resulted in a great deal: One for the price of two

Nokia 6310

I was asked by a colleague to assist when he received a contractual letter from his phone-supplier. He had a Nokia 6310. The only contact he could make was by phoning their help-line. Unfortunately, he was deaf and he could see how this was going to pan out. So I phoned up, using his phone and after going through multiple 'security checks' I was able to discuss the issue on his behalf. When I explained that the actual owner of the phone was deaf they were dumbfounded:

"Why does he have a phone then?"

"Er... Text messaging?"

"Oh! Of course! Well we'll reduce his contract price, then." Really not the outcome we were expecting.

Re: The opposite problem

When we were taken over, the new owners expected to make major 'buying gains' due to their vastly bigger turnover and spending. I was sent to one of our usual suppliers to discuss the new arrangements and how it was anticipated that we would now get the 50% discount of the holding company. Over a good lunch (I had worked with this suppler for years) the MD explained that we received a bigger discount than our new owners because "You pay on time" whereas "They don't. Ever".

I went back to explain that the expected buying gain might actually be an increase in price.

Re: The opposite problem

Soon after we were taken over, accounts were run by Head-Office off our site. Accounts decided that all terms of payment would be doubled, so the 30-day payment terms to our suppliers became 60 days, if they were lucky. This is a standard accounting wheeze, well known by El Reg commenteers.....

Our progress-chaser was a determined lady whom it was unwise to cross, and when she found out that our usual supplies of toilet paper for the offices and factory had been withheld by our supplier, pending payment of previous month's accounts, she phoned up our head-office chief accountant who was unsympathetic and unhelpful.

In response, she explained: "I'm on my way to your office and I am going to piss on your desk." Two minutes later a return call advised that payment had been made and deliveries happened the next day.

IT phone home: How to run up a $20K bill in two days and get away with it by blaming Cisco

Every good deed....

I went to commission some large machinery for a waterworks, drawing water from a river for treatment. All the important people were there, including the end-user and his consultants. All went well and the consultants remarked how good their concept had been, hardly using any energy. I went to have a look at the electricity meters which indeed were turning much slower than expected. A gentle 'tap' on the side of the meter sent them spinning away at a more likely rate; much to the embarrassment of the consultant and dismay by the end-user/payer......

"I wish you hadn't done that."

Further percussion did not revert the rate. Good job for us though ---->

Techie fired for inventing an acronym – and accidentally applying it to the boss

Re: Three Letter Acronyms are not enough

The bosses found out they were not getting their full share.

Three Letter Acronyms are not enough

When we were bought out by a bigger concern, a TLA. We had to use their systems for manufacturing, buying and accounting. This was a step-backwards to green-screen command-line procedures. The new bosses were very good at asking other people to provide information from this system but were unable to obtain it themselves. We called them AWDUTS: Ars***** Who Don't Use The System.

I've said before that we used our old and their new systems to show how everything they bought was over-expensive, thus exposing corruption. But no good deed goes unpunished and I was eventually made redundant..... In retrospect, a great outcome. So ---->

Don't worry, that system's not actually active – oh, wait …

Toaster and more

We commissioned a large set of equipment at a big water-treatment works. Big job, full day so we started very early and I had a plan for breakfast on-site as they had a good kitchen. I had a student/trainee with me who was keen to help and we set him off to buy the necessary foodstuffs from the local shop. There were four people in our team.

He returned with ten packs of bacon, four packs of butter, eggs galore and a bread-van load equivalent. A few fishes and we could have fed the region. We started cooking our well-deserved breakfast.....the aroma was unmistakable. It was surprising how many of the site staff 'were just passing by' and helped themselves to a breakfast 'snack' or two. The toaster needed a full-time attendant.

The site staff were keen on us prolonging our site presence or perhaps 'visit again next week to check everything is OK?'

Swedish network biz Ericsson chops 1,400 jobs at home

Re: Ok, so I'm thick

'Sweat the asset' is usually when the owner/utility stops all maintenance and upkeep of a product, judging that they will get their bonus for 'saving costs' before the equipment conks out. It then becomes 'someone else's problem'.

This is why your roads are wrecked, rivers are polluted and services fail.

Marketing company chases Twitter for $7,000 over 'swag gift box for Elon'

Freebies

I received a free pen from one of our suppliers. It has a little light and writes nicely.

I now feel I was under-valued by their marketing department.

UK tax authority nudges net 'influencers': You may owe us for those OnlyFans feet pics

Re: How much? How many?

I too was sceptical of these numbers. 2.8 million UK influencers/creators? Being paid an average of more than $100 per hour. Hmmm.

Then I noted that the conclusions are based upon a 15-minute on-line survey. Well, now I'm convinced. It must be true.

If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now

Re: Cooling

You are right but this problem was not cooling per se, as the panels would normally be cooled by ambient air and door-mounted fans. Atmospheric pollution attacking bare metal, (and warm metal at that), is more difficult to address. It is not usual to hermetically seal switchgear such as starters and control equipment on power drives. Modern practice on these sites is to contain or hugely dilute the source of the corrosion. At the design stage.

In sealing the building against ambient air changes, the issue of dissipating heat becomes a building problem. The consultants chose to install AC running in ducts under the ceiling.

Cooling

We had some variable-speed drives housed in a switchroom which had air conditioning to keep the inverters cool. The inverter rating was about 500 kW so there was a few kW of heat to dissipate. Well the AC was good at cooling the filtered air extracted from outside......but...... The problem was that the site was a sewage works and a bit pongy...... The characteristic 'bad-egg gas', hydrogen sulphide, is very corrosive to copper. These inverters and cabinets had been carefully constructed with uncoated, high-copper-content wire and strips of copper to keep local losses to a minimum but inadvertently creating a huge surface area. Which promptly corroded..... and the corrosion product is conductive.... and flaky..... Inside, the cabinets had a thick layer of black copper sulphide (other spellings are available). All aided by polluted, external air being forced through the cabinets albeit cooled. After a couple of years, gosh it was a mess and the consequential short-circuits were spectacular.

Tinning the conductors could only be a partial cure (tin corrodes as well) so a new closed-circuit cooling system had to be installed with bigger coolers and standby in case of failure. We were fortunate that we had specified the requirements for the cooling air...... But when it was warm/hot weather this was the best building to be in as it was odour-free and blissfully cool.......>

Find My Kids app is basically AirTags for your offspring

Only 8 years old...

I've had my 'new' watch 25 years...... And my 'old' watch, which still works, is older than I care to state on this forum......

Re: Bad move to know too much

Mirrors my recollections of growing up. As long as we were 'back for tea', and you didn't want to miss that!

These companies are in the business of amplifying parents fears in order to increase profits.

Microsoft tells people to prepare for AI search engine that goes Bing!

Re: Grumpy old man icon needed…

I don't understand this profiling for advertising purposes. In any reasonable assessment, I expect data-collectors to have deduced that I am never going to buy from an unsolicited advert and therefore it would be a cost-saving to not include me in the processing.

You have to wonder, are the owners/managers/programmers of these search-behemoths influenced by their own personal search-results and the consequent advertisements? It just seems to be a waste.

This can’t be a real bomb threat: You've called a modem, not a phone

Directions

I can only be relieved that directions for building-evacuation were not given by one of our supervisors. Responsible for directing our site service staff he once sent an engineer to a factory in Manchester Road, Bradford. Eventually, the engineer phoned in for further details of the location only to be told he should have gone to Bradford Road, Manchester.

To be clear, this was in the days of public telephones and when you needed to buy a street map of the locale.... I can also confirm that it is a very easy mistake to make....

Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building

If it's dangerous, hide it.....

We had a meeting to discuss where to put the new sever and associated equipment in the 'new' Unit we had taken over which was adjacent to our existing premises. The small conference room we were using was ideally placed underneath the offices enabling convenient access without disruption. Modestly sized with false-wall panelling, the room had an outside wall suitable for the air-conditioning, and next to the electrical supply distribution panels.

The room had three full-size doors: one internal to the atrium, one to the workshop and another in the wall-panelling which went nowhere except into a 30-40 cm void.... so we thought. Brooms were kept there and old cardboard boxes. In my curiosity, I cleared the boxes to have a closer look and found the gas supply, meter and valves together with that slight 'whiff'...... Gas and connected voids into the new upstairs offices do not make a safe place of work.... never mind putting it next to electrical switches... This installation was illegal and contravened building regulations so had been hidden by the landlords who had 'furnished' the new building..... The previous users had not noticed or pretended not to, after all, Head Office was in another city...

Techies try to bypass damaged UPS, send 380V into air traffic system

Mains Voltage

I reminded our Electrical Engineering Graduate (alleged) that 240 volts a.c. on the mains is the RMS volts.... Peak volts is rather higher.... It is fortunate that equipment/devices etc. are designed to cope with this. They are, aren't they.......

When we asked how you crashed the system we wanted an explanation not a demonstration

Let me show you how it should be done......

We were replacing the three generating sets used under emergency to charge batteries at a power station. Each diesel-alternator set was about 1MW. I asked why the old sets were being replaced, because after all, they hadn't done much work over the years and the technology had not advanced significantly.

One of the operators took me into the 'old' equipment room where the three engines were open but with tarpaulin covers over the crankcase. Each engine had a broken crank...... The first broke due to an auto-synchronisation fault, allegedly. The second broke during a demonstration of manual-synchronisation with the grid. The third broke when the expert took over to show 'how it should be done'.

The replacement sets were a good order for us so ----> all round.

Server broke because it was invisibly designed to break

The Interlock and Health and Safety

We supplied some equipment to a well-known process contractor in the food industry and their procedure was that all MCC's had to be commissioned by their own staff 'for safety reasons'. No problem, I had a trainee with me and it would be good to see someone else doing the job "with the highest regard for safety of personnel and equipment". We had to undergo a two-hour H&S 'induction' to cover the general, local and specific hazards, which included not carrying two cups of coffee and never carry a tray on stairs etc. as well as the usual hazards of electricity and the like. We were examined on the knowledge so transferred.

Eventually, suited, booted, gloved and glasses, we meet the 'Appointed Person' who would be doing the hands-on pre-checks etc. before starting the plant and after further words about safety he proceeds to open all the panel doors, then switch on the isolating circuit breakers using a spanner....... My trainee and I, stood well back...... Of course, nothing worked and after a frustrating half-hour or so where the expert would take no advice, I tentatively suggested that the door-switches might be causing, correctly, an interrupt in the circuit? He proceeded to by-pass the switch whereupon the breakers slammed in and the interior became live. It was mind-bogglingly dangerous. We couldn't work or even observe under these conditions so we went back to the project manager who sighed and said they had 'a bit of a problem' with this guy.

We returned the next week to repeat the exercise, albeit with a reduced H&S Induction, this time successfully, with a different 'expert'. I still have the first guy's name in case our paths ever cross again.

BOFH: Come back to the office. Your hotdesk is nice and warm

Re: ....there's a general feeling that less people want to show up.

Fewer or lesser.....

Have a --->

Two signs in the comms cabinet said 'Do not unplug'. Guess what happened

Re: Years ago, working for an airline in Toronto.

I don't need to remind our readers that the Work Plan, Procedure or whatever you call it, should have anticipated this event (unscheduled power failure) and included any necessary equipment or personnel. You can't help thinking a torch would cover the requirement or battery-driven light-stand. Such devices are available for Hazardous Areas.

At worst, we've had personnel positioned at plugs, switches, even public telephones (with authorisation) to prevent accidental interruption in the event of a particularly awkward procedure. Which should have been designed out at the beginning!

No-one was injured ---->

Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday

Re: Big red "cause a massive problem" button

There are a lot of people out there who are grateful for that 'Big Red Button'; their hearts continue to beat and there are others who have all/most of their digits, limbs, hair and other protuberances intact because of it.

After due consideration ---->

US Supreme Court asked if cops can plant spy cams around homes

Re: Pipes

My local wood-yard sold prepared timber priced in units of "square-inch per foot". You think this is bonkers until you want to price a job. Of course, this is sawn-timber; planed comes out 1/16" smaller on each side. It is surprising how modern 'metric' timber conforms to these sizes.

Apologies for not converting this into standard units.

Twitter engineer calls out Elon Musk for technical BS in unusual career move

Re: Bit klunky, but...

I'm with you here. It's not long ago I kept being shouted at in meetings and told to back-off on technical issues where the boss suddenly flipped from being quite reasonable to a complete prat. Afterwards I would be summoned to his office where he would apologise but never in front of others. It didn't bother me as I was confident in my stance and knowledge (and old...).

In the end, I stopped being invited to the meetings. Then, the meetings were abandoned altogether. Eventually, I and several others left, leaving him to sort out his own mess. Of course, he too moved on a bit later.

Elon Musk reportedly outlines horrible Twitter layoff process

Things are only worth whatever someone will pay.

How many of us are thinking we missed out on a bargain there?

All of the norths are about to align over Britain

Re: True North

Headingley...... During the last major conflict with the Hun, my grandmother lived in that area near the Skyrack (a well-known establishment providing refreshments). Apparently the landlord had a 'stormy' relationship with his wife, once advising her to "Stick your head out of the window and we'll call it The Nag's Head".

In more recent times, only fifty years ago, we used toast their ghosts on the same premises.

Icon, apt and whynot (a fictional pub)--->

True North

If you've ever met anyone from Yorkshire you will know that the earth's axis of rotation goes through the Yorkshire Post.

Open source's totally non-secret weapon big tech dares not use: Staying relevant

Don't forget the lawyers

There's another aspect to progression in 'new' developments and that is the obstructive use of patents. It's all very well having an idea and patenting the process but if you don't know how to achieve/complete/develop the action.....

At least the lawyers and patent trolls might get an opportunity to extract their share and distribute the riches accordingly.

No, I will not pay the bill. Why? Because we pay you to fix things, not break them

A long time ago...... Before Windows 3.1..... I was given the unenviable task of fixing a sensor high, very high, up on a water tower. Awkward access but I was young then. Having reached the correct location I found that the fixing holes were not there. Apparently this was known but somehow that snippet of information had failed to reach me. As I said, I was young then. Did I have a drill? Yes but not 70 metres of extension cable.

A visit to the new 'DIY' shop found a Black & Decker Cordless drill on offer, £20. Back to site. Climb the tower. Drill the fixings. Fix the sensor. Tested OK. Long drive home.

That drill was so useful, I didn't claim the expense..... until our workshop asked to borrow it, endlessly..... It lasted years and had several 'new' (homemade) batteries.

To make this computer work, users had to press a button. Why didn't it work? Guess

Re: Bad design

How about:

"An error has occurred. Press 'OK' to restart"

Re: Bad design

Although it's been a few years, I can saddle a horse but I admit that I could not find the mechanism to open the door on a 'modern' car. My experience over the years has taught me how to get into 'older' cars by all sorts of tricks but now it takes my five-year old grandson to show me how to get into and out of a machine which should be the epitome of 'intuitive'.

Anyway, it's a good excuse to be chauffeured ------->

CEO told to die in a car crash after firing engineers who had two full-time jobs

A manager who doesn't know what his staff are doing or doesn't ensure they are pursuing an ongoing task is one who represents an immediate cost-saving.

Cops swoop after crooks use wireless keyfob hack to steal cars

Re: Progress of car security

I've commented on this before, repeated/edited/perfected (/j):

It's a long time ago, but one of our reps was travelling from Manchester to the deep south and stopped at a Motorway Services for a breather. Returned to the car, opens the door with his key, starts up, drives off, and returns to the motorway. After about 15 minutes thinks:

"Someone's left their gloves on the back seat"

"I don't wear a hat."

"That's not my coat."

"This isn't my car......."

So he leaves the motorway at the next junction (this is a long way on some sections), returns up the motorway to the next junction beyond the services, back down the motorway to the services and parks up next to a car that looks remarkably like the one he is driving.... Tries his key in the 'other' car. It opens. Gets in, recognises his own mess..... Drives off, leaving a car with an extra 125+ miles on the clock and no doubt a mystified owner and possibly a bemused traffic cop.....

Senior engineer reported to management for failing to fix a stapler

Rules are rules

You are right about there being requirements for access ramps. Building Regulations have a series of sensible guidelines on how it should be done. (e.g. https://www.designingbuildings.co.uk/wiki/Ramps)

As an Engineer with professional standing, you are supposed to know that these things can come back to bite you, personally.

These designs take time ---->

No, working in IT does not mean you can fix anything with a soldering iron

Re: "just" static

I was working at a power station when one of the engineers needed to check a line was 'dead', presumably before earthing it. He withdrew a long suitcase from their backroom and removed a 1500 mm pole, then another and another. Connected together it was the most awesome 'test-prod'.

I saw him again later in the day, so I know he survived.

Re: "just" static

I remember Leyden Jars in the cupboards in the school Physics Department. They were rarely used/demonstrated but held their charges for ages.

Never, ever, ever touch such a device if it is assembled. There was a special device to discharge them, a sort of horseshoe on an insulated stick. The resultant spark was frightening.

I'm one of those who regularly gets attacked by static (despite wearing cottons). I always carry a piece of metal to take the shock (a coin in the fingers spreads the load). However, our dog distrusted me for a long time after getting a shock from my finger to her nose.....

Scientists, why not simply invent a working fusion plant using $50m from Uncle Sam

Re: Nuclear fusion power produces abundant amounts of energy

Technically, heat-pollution is still energy.

Re: Nuclear fusion power produces abundant amounts of energy

That would be all the elements, except hydrogen.

Eventually creating a welcome-->

Update your Tesla now before the windows put your fingers in a pinch

Re: My car's window ...

Whilst acknowledging your personal experiences, if you have never had a problem with wind-up windows on cars, you haven't clocked enough personal mileage....... To be honest, I've had cars with no mechanism for opening windows at all, just a sliding pane.

Have you noticed how 'windows' and 'pane' are closely related in a way never dreamed of by our ancestors.

OVH opens less flammable datacenter at site of 2021 fire

Re: Neat cabling

Without restraint, cables entangle overnight.

Salesperson's tech dream delivered by ill-equipped consultant who charged for the inevitable fix

Re: Now quickest interview ...

In one of my periods of being disgruntled with my then employer, I applied for a job with a firm of consultants. I knew the firm from previous interactions and whilst their history was superb with some excellent completed-contracts under their belt, the new mob were 'branching out' into realms that their expertise was not suited (think small jobs needing small overheads). Nevertheless, before the interview proper, I had to complete a psychometric assessment and was given two hours for completion. After fifteen minutes, it was done and the astonished HR manager reckoned this was a record and offered me a job without further review.

After consideration, I rejected it, due to panic from my existing employer who gave me an immediate bonus then a huge upgrade in salary, but also because I reckoned the consultants were desperate to employ anyone. My subsequent dealings with them confirmed my assessment.

NASA scrubs Artemis mission yet again because SLS just can't handle the pressure

Re: Gimme a spanner...

I repaired, temporarily, a leaking gas-meter with Plasticine. Pending the arrival of the gas-man who called on Monday morning.

You can never have too many backups. Also, you can never have too many backups

Re: Hardly on topic

Fortran.... The language I was never taught but the one I didn't need any lessons (for my purposes). I must dig out my old programmable calculator that used a version of Fortran.... My colleagues thought I was a wizard because my (ostensibly simple) calculator could produce answers to some complex problems.

What? Of course I haven't thrown it away.

UK's largest water company investigates datacenters' use as drought hits

Re: A quarter?

Just to put things into perspective, 600 million litres is 600,000 tonnes. A day.

(Or 670,000 Great White Sharks).

Re: Hosepipe bans

The pressure is kept high, over the local water-table plus a margin, to prevent contamination back into the pipe. There are quite good procedures to repair pipes which have to be shut off for repair. There is financial pressure to avoid these procedures. Losing tons (or tonnes) of water is immaterial to the accountants.

Black water contains 'natural' bacteria. By using black water for cooling, you raise its temperature into the region where Legionnaires Disease multiplies rapidly, necessitating extensive chemical or UV treatment, licensing, testing, inspection, records, specialist waste disposal.....

We were promised integrated packages. Instead we got disintegrated apps

B...... Calendars

So true about the fecklessness of calendars; have one of these -->

I don't live a busy life (see below) but my calendars never seem to be as helpful as they ought. And of course every device has also to remind me of the event/occasion/meeting/task/forthcoming-date etc. Not helped by the easy-to-remember abbreviations whose meaning I forget when the time arises.

I am an inveterate 'Reject all cookies' person (don't get me started on why this can't be the default position), and I have never purposely clicked on a pop-up Ad. After many years of this doctrine, I seem to get far fewer interventions than the rest of my family. I would like to think this is due to my technical nous but my son points out that I lead a 'quiet life'.