Posts by Sam not the Viking

Final step to put new website into production deleted it instead

A very angry customer phoned our MD to say our software had caused a major incident; machinery had failed to operate and the consequences were serious. Not life-threatening but the local MP was involved. We were summoned immediately to site to meet with the end-user, a representative from the EA, the consultant, the main contractor and the leader of the Parish Council..... As the person considered best to offer as a sacrifice, (longest in the tooth), I was sent to investigate and download our logging/monitoring data. Tempers had eased by the time I got there but the tension was palpable.

Our logging device was simple but the data was not easily retrieved. Once in the software, the keystrokes to save or delete were easily confused...... as from experience, I knew...... Under watchful eyes, I carefully downloaded the machine history under the watchful eye of the consultant and gave him a copy of the unabridged data.

It was blindingly obvious what had happened; the machines had not been switched to 'Auto' and so were effectively switched 'Off'. Cue huge embarrassment to all (others) involved. We thought it prudent not to invoice for our call-out.

I still worry what would have happened if I had...... No I don't want to think about it ----->

BOFH: Loss adjuster discovers liability is a two-way street

On recovering the car, the insurer will also need some new wheels.

Radio is still working. Well, it would if the car had a battery.

Starlink speeds past terrestrial networks – and regulators

I was thinking that you need to get out more (moor?). But Galapagos and North Yorkshire, despite both being remote, distant and inhabited by strange beasts (I do have a connection....), indicate the search for the perfect pint is never ending. Like software, needing constant updates.

Cheers ---->

BBC bumps telly tax to £180 as Netflix lurks with cheaper tiers

You're not going to believe this, in the UK: 7/6d (37p).

More than two pints of beer!!

New hire fixed a problem so fast, their boss left to become a yoga instructor

I do hope they selected the correct vehicle for the occasion.

Made me smile ---->

Re: Kneeling Chairs

I returned to work after suffering a bad lower-back (poor posture mostly to blame) and our secretary suggested one of those kneeling chairs (Balans Chair). She had one and brought it in for me to try. I found it brilliant so I bought my own. I don't use it all the time but keep it for those times when I relapse my stance. The knee-supports are only supposed to stop you sliding off the seat, not to take weight.

Amazon can't build AI capacity fast enough, throws another $200B at the problem

Is the return worth it?

Adding 3.9 GW in energy.... About $5 billion per year extra costs then.

If it could be expressed as an increase in overall efficiency, thus resulting in a nett energy reduction, this might be impressive. But to produce more 'monetizing'.... For AI?

The world is going mad. As it's Friday, I suggest this solution ---->

Bots are taking over the internet and AI users are to blame

I feel that the buyers of ad-space must be AI Bots themselves.

Surely, no genuine human thinks that there's not enough advertising on a page?

Want more ads on your web pages? Try the AdBoost extension

That old saying....

Advertising is effective. Say the ad companies. Mandy Rice Davis applies.

Re: "If we don't feed the advertisers, then we'll be forced to pay artists for their creative work."

My Institution's Technical Periodical, in paper, changed from being technical, written by technical authors, interesting, to bland copy provided by marketing and advertisers. It became so off-topic that I resigned.

I'm not sure that these learned societies understand that the people who look to the future, plan and buy technical products, are not influenced by drivel.

Rant over --->

BOFH: Eight pints of a lager and a management breakthrough

Re: Very grin worthy

I was in a very heated meeting with our customer (end user), his consultant, the main contractor and ourselves (as target).

I knew the customer's representative (Chief Engineer) very well; over several years we'd done several projects together. After me taking a severe hounding, with the customer contributing little to the argument, the Chief intervened and called a halt to the discussion to say that he had reached a decision: The consultant's design was incomplete, the contractor had constructed it incorrectly and the supplier (us) were a convenient scape-goat. The consultant must complete his omission, the contractor will fix the construction. At their own cost. And that the meeting was over.

Both consultant and contractor were wary of us from then on.

Re: "often, in bad situations, doing something can make things worse."

From bitter experience, I recall:

1 Enthusiasm

2 Panic

3 Search for the guilty

4 Punishment of the innocent

5 Praise and honours for the non-participants

Being long in the tooth, I've been on lots of training courses for lots of fads. And that's after a fairly rigorous teaching in the fundamentals of various production practices: I recognise re-invented wheels.

I've had management consultants introducing wizzo ideas that were (in my opinion) doomed from the start. None lasted, strangely most of those 'consultants' have ceased trading (Physician, health thyself.....).

It's great to watch these people trying induce enthusiasm for 'new' tricks only to have their certainty undermined by someone who might know a bit more about this scam than they do.

What will next week bring? But today, it's Friday ---->

In-house techies fixed faults before outsourced help even noticed they'd happened

Scaling-up a geometrically similar machine, one of our mechanical designers called for it to be secured with 8-off, M60 screws.

It was eventually agreed to use 16, M24.

"Well, as you're on site...."

The first company I worked for made a variety of technical products, with increasingly complex control systems as the world progressed towards electronics. After completing training, I was sent to sites to get new machinery/controls up and running and handed over to the customer/end user. More than occasionally, I was called to 'have a look at' some other piece of equipment which was 'giving a bit of trouble' which was not in our supply and sometimes had been installed a long time ago. Often the problems were simple and my (excellent) training covered the general principles behind the processes involved. Being helpful was good customer-relations and considering that these customers were responsible for future orders we assisted where reasonable.

I drew the line at one site where the contractor asked me to set up a large number of automatic actuators; I showed him how it was done and left him to it..... whereupon he called in the manufacturer, at some cost.

Marketing 'genius' destroyed a printer by trying to fix a paper jam

Tools

During my training period I was taught that a skilled man (person) never lends their tools. It's a stance that I have used in many instances. You just know that your beloved side-cutters will be used to cut barbed-wire or something.

Perhaps the most jaw-dropping request was when I was asked to loan a £40k power-analyser (Company-owned....) because they didn't trust the accuracy of their home electricity-meter. This person was, in my opinion, incapable of correctly changing the battery in a torch.

Xerox Ink

Our marketing people bought one of those printers. The output was really impressive but the running costs were eye-watering. We only bought one set of ink-replacements (at first, I thought they were giant crayons: Suitable for Marketing.....).

Amazon CEO Andy Jassy goes wobbly on AI bubble possibility

Re: When tech scams go too well.

I'm sure the small nuclear power-generators will have their entire lifetime-costs covered by the purchasers.

Not the sort of thing you can abandon to the tumbleweed.

ATM maintenance tech broke the bank by forgetting to return a key

The Key to Everything

Our Sales Director used to go everywhere with his bunch of keys, carrying every key: House (front, back, garage, shed, gate), car (his & hers) (and car keys are not small), work (gates, two offices, workshop, test area) plus several smaller keys for luggage, padlocks, bicycles, etc. all culminating in a fist-sized melee. This conglomeration was far too big to fit in a pocket so he carried them around as a sort of symbol-of-office. You could hear him moving about the building clanking like the ghostly gaoler.

He's never likely to lose this mess but if he did, it would have deep consequences.

On the other hand, we never gave an off-site key to him because he would lose it. His 'work keys' were mostly out of date because we changed entry/exit processes but as he was always late in, and never locked-up, it didn't matter......

Engineer used welding shop air hose to 'clean' PCs – hilarity did not ensue

Re: BS

Dust explosions can be really dangerous. I went to a flour-milling factory where people were employed full-time to carefully vacuum the walls and edges inside the building to prevent any collection of dust. The trouble is that a small, initial 'pop' can set up a shock-wave raising dust all around and creating a much larger dust/air combination.

The first number in the IP-ratings concerns dust-resistance for machinery and then areas are 'Zoned' according to the requirements of ATEX/IECEX. Designing machinery for use in those zones is a very detailed, expensive process. Electrical and electronic equipment are usually installed in separate, 'safe' areas. Preventing ignition of dusts and/or gases is a major industry; the potential liabilities are fearsome. Interesting though.

Re: BS

If you want to clean an object or area, never use compressed air. It just blows the muck somewhere else.

Use a vacuum with proper filtration.

Dust is often conductive, always abrasive, and in some environments, explosive..... Believe me.....

Help desk read irrelevant script, so techies found and fixed their own problem

Re: Been There...

We had new PCs installed across the company and the provider included support for an ongoing fee. It was a poor initial set up with everyone given 'basic' privileges to such an extent that nothing could be run. I wasn't permitted to even open a file. It became apparent that the supplier was taking glee at causing modest mayhem by installing incremental permissions across the board and treating each one as a potentially billable event.

We approached a local company to investigate/comment/advise. They offered to take over the maintenance/support contract at a fair rate. We made sure we had full access and control of the system:

It saddens me to say it, but I took glee in informing the original supplier that their contract was terminated with immediate effect.

BOFH: All through the house, not a creature was stirring except the homicidal vacuum cleaner

Opportunity Knocks. Or doesn't.

I think there is more to this story than Simon is letting on. That robot photo-opportunity must have lead to, at least, a luxury holiday....

User found two reasons – both of them wrong – to dispute tech support's diagnosis

Re: The usual suspect

In the days when telephone conversation was the norm, we had a customer who had a very pronounced stammer. On answering the phone, our switchboard would quickly recognise the caller and transfer him through to the Service Department without comment. We all knew him and after hearing a hesitation we would say "Hello, Jack. What can we do for you?" He immediately relaxed and a normal conversation could start.

We did a lot of good business through him. He was an Engineer and a Gentleman.

Re: Related issues

I may have said before but it is well known that you can supply, install, commission and hand-over multi-million pound project, leave it running smoothly with that satisfying, low 'hum' of rotating machines operating at peak efficiency, all operating on hair-trigger, precise control, signal-lights blinking gently giving complete reassurance of a job well done. The locked, secure, unmanned station is operating perfectly, confirmed by the data-transfer to the remote operations centre. The customer, his consultant and associated hangers-on are all enjoying dinner at our expense.

It's going to be a bad day for the contractor: There's a rattle from a piece of flooring, although this wasn't in your scope of supply.

Idiots are not always wrong

We had a problem on an important site and the customer's 'Engineer' was an ex-colleague from a long time back. He was not technical in any way but would loudly pronounce on any electrical/mechanical/electronic issue with absolute authority and conviction. He could and did waste a lot of money solving the wrong problem.

This site had an issue that he decided was caused by an obscure phenomenon, often talked about but rarely encountered in modern times. The more likely solution was far simpler and easily sorted. In the office, we all had a good laugh at this idiot's expense before I was dispatched to investigate.

From long experience.... I know to listen carefully and investigate problems in a logical sequence, rather than arrive and state our presumed answer to the issue. On this occasion, I was fortunate to keep my powder dry, the self-proclaimed genius had indeed identified the correct issue and this was going to be an expensive incident. Not exposing his technical weaknesses, we maintained a good working relationship to correct the problem and our liabilities and expense were minimised.

Infuriatingly, sometimes, these people hit upon the right answer.

Ten mistakes marred firewall upgrade at Australian telco, contributing to two deaths

Re: Making scapegoats

I started a new job and was touring the assembly areas and chatting with the staff. One pointed out to me that one bought-out item was always supplied incorrectly assembled and he had to dismantle and reassemble it each time. A specific item was installed wrong-way around. Curious, I investigated this further and found that no-one else was performing this modification so there was a discrepancy whatever was going on.

It turned out that this was not a fault by the supplier. During 'training' he had taken one of these items apart and reassembled it, then presented it for inspection and approval. Several times. Not realising that the element could be incorrectly orientated, the supervisor/trainer assumed all was well, the trainee assumed he had done it correctly and so "Always does it that way."

It turned out the inversion wasn't a complete disaster but it caused a lot of concern regarding products in the field.

Training is important. Understanding is the difficult bit.

User insisted their screen was blank, until admitting it wasn't

Not that long ago, the last few metres of our telephone connection which became the internet connection, was old two-core bell wire. It had several connections in it (including the old GPO 'box' with screwed connectors). It was very unreliable, especially when it rained from the north-east, and I called out the provider several times but they always made a 'working'repair.

Eventually, I inadvertently pruned the wire outside instead of the climbing rose. When the engineer came to investigate the fault, no phone, no internet, so it must be a cable fault.... he quickly identified the 'break' in the cable. It was clearly not their fault but he said: "Let's fix this properly" and ran a new cable; continuous from the wall socket to the pole..... Reliability soared....

It's a fibre line now.

Re: screen messages

I've worked with some brilliant, imaginative people, who are really quite inept at the practicalities of living amongst other humans.

I've also worked with people I initially thought dim, who turned out to have real skills in fields outside their 'normal' work.

I am very wary in my initial judgement..... although I'm not always wrong.... It's worth reflection ---->

Microsoft research shows chatbots seeping into everyday life

Re: F*** OFF!

I'm guessing you're not keen on uninvited AI.

I'm with you there, have one of these ---->

Block all AI browsers for the foreseeable future: Gartner

Re: The best use of AI

I had to respond to the boss's PA's round-robin email: "Where will you be next week?"

I spent far too long creating ideas of where I hoped to be: some sun-drenched, sandy, shore near the beach-bar, accompanied by...... You get the idea.

She was quite sorry when I left, losing not just a highly skilled engineer (YMMV) with a simple imagination, but someone with an escape-plan.

Death to one-time text codes: Passkeys are the new hotness in MFA

Joined up thinking

My worry is that as soon as government departments 'join up their thinking' it increases their opportunity to mess things up further.

Cabling survived dungeons and fish factories, until a lazy user took the network down

Re: What is it with managers and training costs?

When our accounts people started slashing expense claims, I pointed out that they were mere clerks who didn't have the authority to alter an expense after it had been approved by my manager. Unbelievably, they pursued the matter up their own chain of command where we had the disgraceful scene of senior managers having a row over whether engineers could be trusted. When it was pointed out who was actually bringing in the business that was paying everyone's salary....

For some reason, the attitude still riles me...... But we won the battle ---->

Not quite terminal

On slightly larger cables than coaxial, our customer complained that the cables to the three-phase motor were "running red-hot". These were not small cables, four-off, four-core, 70 mm2 connected in parallel. On checking the installation, our engineer found that one of the cables was indeed very hot. Opening up the local junction box, looking for loose connections, all looked well until he gave the cables a tug and some of the cores just pulled away. Three cables had been fitted with the correct terminal lugs, but not been crimped-up so were not conducting properly. Most of the power was running through a single cable. Although crimping the terminals corrected the immediate problem, the high temperatures caused other damage which resulted in considerable expense.

Although the issue was caused by the customer's contractor, it's always the equipment manufacturer who gets the blame.

Seven years later, Airbus is still trying to kick its Microsoft habit

Re: The limitations of spreadsheets

It can get very complicated when 'parts' are updated, or entire sub-assemblies replaced. Although Certification can make 'modernisation' undesirable, components can have a common use across multiple products.

Our relatively small, BoMs were maintained by product serial number and a series of 'History Sheets' linked to that unique reference. When products are intended to be in service for a long time, with usual service intervals, the original list can 'soon' become quite obsolete. We were/are plagued by customers who get our products serviced by others whose 'records' are incomplete/non-existent. It becomes our nightmare when something goes wrong; it seems that we are assumed responsible for their actions. I recall being summoned to a meeting with the customer and his service-provider who brought along their tame consultant. After about thirty minutes of abject criticism, I responded by saying: "Why don't you just admit that you cocked it up?" I then asked the customer why he was using this shower at a cost more than we were offering? We did get the next service contracts..... and now we knew what price they were prepared to pay.

Airbus: We were hours from pausing production in Spain

Re: An Aviation Company Runs Out of Gas?

As part of some projects we organise standby-power generation for important sites which need very high availability.

Although the generators are run on a schedule, the main fuel tank is often inadequately monitored, because, you know, instrumentation costs money. And have you seen the price of fuel these days?

So keeping the tank full (or 80% full) is often neglected in favour of 'cost-savings'. It isn't the bean-counters who get the blame when things don't work, which is far more often than it should be.

Microsoft exec finds AI cynicism 'mindblowing'

Re: Micro- and Soft- Brain ?

Like the 'Heffalump Trap'.

It's obviously effective because there are no Heffalumps around here.

BOFH: You know something's up when the suits want to spend money

Re: The old line from "Ghostbusters" is never lost on me

Well, I wasn't expecting that!

Developer battled to write his own documentation, but lost the boss fight

Operating Documentation

I wrote the 'Standard Procedures' for our newly-formed company in order for the 'workers' to achieve consistent results. Short lists, descriptive bullet-points for stage-completion as the item moved through production. I tried to keep each procedure within a single page of A4; the whole set relevant to a product easily contained within a slim folder.

After being taken over, the Head Office QA machine took over and turned the procedures into multi-page documents, each page topped-and-tailed with multiple QA document-approval levels, prepared-by, approved-by, checked-by, signed-off by, all dated, company logo, Head-Office logo and address..... etc. etc. The working-information was verbosely expanded and moved deep within the document and the whole series compiled into a large binder.

This binder was so unwieldy, it was largely unread. But gosh, QA updated it often in order to prove their worth.

Re: I used to own a sports bar/restaurant

I take your point but I think we need to be a little bit sympathetic, especially if the menu is written in a language which is not the restaurant owner's first....

I've had delicious 'Giant Squit' in Greece.

Apple knits up $230 sock for your iPhone in time for Christmas

Difficult Trading Conditions

Looking at the wearer, has Jeff has had to take up modelling?

Or perhaps it was the only way to get a freebie.

Help desk boss fell for ‘Internet Cleaning Day’ prank - then swore he got the joke

What's work if it's not fun.

We were sent to Head Office in France to learn about new software that was being introduced with enhanced security. A group from all the satellite companies in Europe were assembled for a full day of training: a two night stop in Paris was just one of the sacrifices we had to make.

After the initial introductions, explanations, coffee & croissants etc. we sat at terminals to try out the software. Within minutes, one of our group had taken over the local network and without letting on, was randomly logging out the trainers, thwarting their endeavours. We learnt a lot of new French vocabulary that morning.

For some reason, they were always a bit wary of us afterwards.

M&S pegs cyberattack cleanup costs at £136M as profits slump

Service, what service?

Don't service providers have to provide the service they are being paid for? If cyber-security was subcontracted to TCS, can anyone explain why TCS aren't paying for their failure?

Or will M&S's Insurers be seeking damages/reparations?

‘ERP down for emergency maintenance’ was code for ‘You deleted what?’

Re: This is why...

No process, documented, tested, approved, backed-up etc. which is operated by a human, experienced or otherwise, can avoid Murphy's Law (other names are available): If it can go wrong, it will.

Rather like complex numbers, AI introduces another route, which despite having an imaginary content, has real effects.

Afterwards, both humans and AI will make up an excuse why it wasn't their fault.

High-stakes poker scam used rigged card shufflers, X-ray tables, and special glasses

A Mugs Game

A long time ago, I was given sixpence (I did say it was a long time ago) to spend on the slot machines. After a few minutes, I had won my sixpence back plus sixpence: result.

I haven't bet since.

Except at a day at the races more recently. I'm not naive, I thought. I took cash. At the end of the day, I was the mug. Broke. Had I had more in my pocket, I'd have lost that too. I didn't have enough money to buy a cup of tea. The tea-lady at the stall sympathised and gave me a free cup of tea: "Pay me next year!"

Frustrated consultant 'went full Hulk' and started smashing hardware

Stress

I was working for a small company and found that although others could cover for me when necessary, holidays etc, they had their own function which was separate from my task which was essentially completion, testing and verification of the product. This was OK but I found it was causing me concern; I would wake during the night and have to make notes about things "I mustn't forget to do....". I told the boss this was making me uneasy and that if I got run over by a bus, it could put the company in a difficult position. A good boss, he immediately started looking for an assistant. This was good because as we were expanding, we needed to take on and train graduates and other clever people.

My first graduate 'assistant' was useless. I'm sure he didn't have the qualifications he claimed. The next was excellent, not qualified in the same way, but a good learner. He was methodical in getting things ready for process which I realised was an issue causing me a lot of anxiety. His previous employment: Bomb disposal.

Re: Make a stand

Kanban is all very well for products which have a regular turnover of components. I've been through several attempts to introduce it and even though I am trained in the topic, I have never been asked to use it as the sole system for 'making things'. We make small numbers of high-value, bespoke products of widely varying content with a high proportion of bought-out components.

Our new boss impressed the owners with his talk of Kanban and took over product production. He wasn't expecting anyone else to have any knowledge of it at all and he, with the financial people, immediately scrapped a substantial proportion of our stock. Items which hadn't been used in the past six months went to merchants who buy up old stock. He failed to take into account the very long lead-times for some components; some items which were only made in batches every two years, we needed to hold sufficient for that period.

Almost immediately we needed a specialist product that we used to hold, but now no longer. Nor did our supplier, and the item was on a very long delivery. We ended up paying 10-times the purchase price to buy one back from the merchant to whom we had given them away.

All the accountants were interested in was the reduction in stock-holding and consequential 'tied-up' monies. I suppose it freed up a bit of space for our part-time storeman to place his sandwiches.

Make a stand

I had a stand-up argument with the QA man from our sister company who were now responsible for our processes and procedures. He was only interested in procedures.

"I found this transducer. It is out of calibration!" he gleefully pronounced pointing to the sticker attached. "It was in the instrument cupboard."

"Is it being used?"

"It might be, by someone who needs it."

"Who would that be?" (Me).

Much shouting ensued. When I pointed out our approved procedure was that only instruments in-use had to be checked/calibrated he stormed off only to return with a 'new procedure' he had just prepared for me to approve and sign off. This called for everything to be in calibration at all times.... We had hundreds of transducers for different purposes but only a few in use at any one time; this proposed procedure would require a full time employee and was clearly unsustainable. Without explaining, I phoned the boss and said I was leaving to go home and I might not be in the next day.... The QA man would explain.....

I did return the next day fully expecting to pack my bags but instead I was summoned to a meeting with the boss and QA geezer who was told in no uncertain terms to back off. He never bothered me again. But he tried.

BOFH: Saving the planet, one falsified metric at a time

Re: And of course ...

If we had two machines which demonstrated slightly different characteristics on something like vibration, we would say: "This machine is excellent, and the other is even better!"

Grounded jet engines take off again as datacenter generators

Re: Been there, done that

Some years ago, as part of a major contract to a utility, we supplied a (used) aero gas turbine, converted to generate electricity. The site needed electrical power for continuous operations plus a substantial heat source. The site-consumption of electricity resulted in waste heat from the turbine almost exactly equal to the site requirement. This raised the energy efficiency from about 30% (electricity only) to 90+% overall. A dual on-line connection to the turbine supplier/service company ensured 24-hour, off-site, monitoring of the set. Part of the agreement included an annual sum for a 24-hour guaranteed replacement engine/turbine.

An excellent scheme when everything was at full load but the maintenance costs on the turbine were eye-watering. Of course, the system didn't run at full-load much of the time so the economics didn't materialise quite as envisaged.

Those ongoing costs of fuel, running, maintenance and servicing still give me the collywobbles. The initial purchase cost was almost negligible.