* Posts by TimMaher

1363 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Apr 2018

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Belgian ale legend Duvel's brewery borked as ransomware halts production

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Devil

Ssst…

… hier rijpt den Duvel.

They call me 'Growler'. I don't like you. Let's discuss your pay cut

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Facepalm

Re: Depends on your definition of growler I guess.

Is he now the chancellor?

Work for you? Again? After you lied about the job and stole my stuff? No thanks

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: Superior.

Very old joke ends with “Senior sir, senior. You are not my superior.”

LockBit leaks expose nearly 200 affiliates and bespoke data-stealing malware

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Pirate

I’m sure that…

…I recognise some of those names.

Not mine of course.

NASA solar sail tech is ready – now who's up to use it in a mission?

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Alien

Next up….

NASA announce their first spindizzy drive.

In its tantrum with Europe, Apple broke web apps in iOS 17 beta, still hasn't fixed them

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Coat

Re:- number 4 iron

I thought Jeeves would iron your paper for you until I realised that you were talking about golf.

Raspberry Pi Pico cracks BitLocker in under a minute

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FAIL

Hurt Locker

A great film.

BitLocker…not so much.

Oracle partner gets multimillion top-up after Edinburgh Uni disaster

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Facepalm

It’s a combination.

Of Birmingham City Council and Surrey County Council.

IPv4 address rentals to mint millions of dollars for AWS

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Careful @Jellied Eel…

… you are in danger of posting something sensible.

The nutters won’t like that.

Whether to move off Oracle is the $100M+ question for Europe's largest public body

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Facepalm

Re: Surrey CC…

…are in deep shit over not paying their teachers because the system is crap.

AnyDesk revokes signing certs, portal passwords after crooks sneak into systems

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Windows

Re:- “tech support scams”

Tried it on me a few weeks ago.

I commented on it then in some El Reg conversation.

They were pretending to be Virgin Media and were going to resolve my slow router problem.

Techie climbed a mountain only be told not to touch the kit on top

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Coat

Re: “many thanks from the grateful postmaster”

Not running Horizon then?

OpenAI's GPT-4 finally meets its match: Scots Gaelic smashes safety guardrails

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Coat

Re: “United Kindoms”

Recently, @amfm, I’ve taken to calling the whole place the Untied Kingdom.

Seems to be the way that we are going.

Zen Internet warns customers of an impending IP address change

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Pint

Re: Lifetime guarantee

Our pet mayfly has a lifetime guarantee.

US shorts China's Volt Typhoon crew targeting America's criticals

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Happy

Re:- “frog pills”

Our frog refuses to share its pills with anyone.

The newts, in the meantime, just cruise beneath the water with their sunglasses on.

Too cool.

Raspberry Pi on IPO plans: 'We want to be ready when the markets are ready'

TimMaher Silver badge
Angel

Just to be selfish.

If it goes IPO in London, maybe on the junior market, I’ll buy some.

Then get out when the takeover happens.

Just as with Arm.

Paid well.

Guess the company: Takes your DNA, blames you when criminals steal it, can’t spot a cyberattack for 5 months

TimMaher Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Reddit??

The article doesn’t say it was for sale on Reddit, it was referenced.

Probably some typical Reddit user has also used 23 and had a previously compromised credential, that they continued to use,

Seems to fit the bill.

IBM talks up cost savings, including 'workforce rebalancing'

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Coat

Re: “exterminate”

Get the feeling that the editor used to work in Human Remains.

Apple has botched 3D for decades. So good luck with the Vision Pro, Tim

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Pint

Re:- “ there's always porn”

An eternal truth.

UK water giant admits attackers broke into system as gang holds it to ransom

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Facepalm

Re:- “I have not provided it”

Look at your bill.

Junior techie had leverage, but didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation

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Windows

Chad

We used to make chad bombs out of twisted elastic bands and folded A4.

They were attached to the internal lock pins of an unsuspecting recipients desk top drawer. The one with the key.

Happy days.

Now OpenAI CEO Sam Altman wants billions for AI chip fabs

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Coat

Re: Live Operational Virtual Environments for Flash Fast Cash Crash Testing Dummies

Eyup @amfm. Just fed your comment to a giant AI system.

It crashed.

Fujitsu will not bid for UK.gov business until Post Office inquiry closes

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Coat

Re: I’ll get my coat.

FTFY ———>

Cloudflare defends firing of staffer for reasons HR could not explain

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Trollface

Re: Human Resources

Mate of mine always called them “Human Remains”.

Broadcom ditches VMware Cloud Service Providers

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Pint

Re: “bugger the smile”

Exactly.

While we fire the boss, can you lock him out of the network?

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Coat

Especially if it’s ICL/Fujitsu.

Exploit for under-siege SharePoint vuln reportedly in hands of ransomware crew

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Thumb Up

Re:-“It do share there now doesn't it!”

A bit West Country @JW ?

Former Post Office boss returns CBE to sender over computer system scandal

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Coat

Crapita

Crackingly funny.

Crapita have just sent out a leaflet to tell pensioners that the scheme has been renamed.

It is now called “The Horizon Pension Scheme”.

Couldn’t make it up.

Bank's datacenter died after travelling back in time to 1970

TimMaher Silver badge
Pint

Re: Martinet.

Fabulous! Haven’t heard that used in years, maybe even decades.

Have a brew.

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Windows

Re: Droitwich etc.

And the now absorbed Woolwich BS.

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Coat

Re: Wallace

He would have used cheese.

Dump C++ and in Rust you should trust, Five Eyes agencies urge

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Coat

Re:- APL

Oddly enough, the only Rust program that I have written is an application.

Admittedly it is a utility that runs in a shell, not something with glossy graphics or a flash user interface, but still…

TimMaher Silver badge
Pint

Re: COBOL course.

You were lucky!

I got PL/1.

Hershey phishes! Crooks snarf chocolate lovers' creds

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Pint

Belgian.

Best in the world.

Just sayin’.

Fabulous beer too.

'Return to Office' declared dead

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Pint

So @Doctor…

… is that you Thorvald?

I claim my free beer!

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Coat

Re: Slough

Surely, @Korev, you mean “Upton Royal”?

Brit borough council apologizes for telling website users to disable HTTPS

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Coat

“Oh gentle bombs,”…

You forgot to mention “Upton Royal”, or Slough as it is actually known.

I left the region decades ago.

'Serial cybercriminal and scammer' jailed for 8 years, told to pay back $1.2M

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Coat

Re:- Impersonating Apple support… Bootnote.

Just had a nice call from a South Asian sounding man, from Virgin media support.

Apparently something is slowing down my router. He asked me to download Anydesk RemoteDesktop. Sweet. So, at that point I had to go and pick up the post in the kitchen where our postie had just left it. Anyway, then I had to go back and apologise for the delay and explain that our landline is a bit temperamental. Upon which it cut out.

The now blocked number is:- 017393319449.

UK may demand tech world tell it about upcoming security features

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Coat

Re:- > 7 letters

So how do they remember passwords?

Oh, actually, Windsor is 7. But, there again, Buckingham is 10.

Hmm…

Amazon workers are in a warehouse of pain, independent report finds

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Headmaster

Re: Nomadland

It has been filmed. Directed by Chloe Zhao. Won three Oscar’s.

You can watch on PrimeVideo for £2.49.

Millions of smart meters will brick it when 2G and 3G turns off

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Facepalm

Bugger. This means….

…I will have to go and find the torch to look in the cupboard low down in the kitchen. The torch will flicker and then go out. No amount of shaking it will re-generate the batteries. Having replaced the batteries and bent double to get into the cupboard, piles of old bags and a half empty wine rack will need to crawled past.

Then I will discover that the smart meter is fairly new and will not need an upgrade… until it does.

Take Windows 11... please. Leaks confirm low numbers for Microsoft's latest OS

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Coat

Xenix

Why don’t we just go back to that? No? I’ll get my coat.

Indian authorities raid fake tech support rings after tipoff from Amazon and Microsoft

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Happy

Infosys, Wipro.

Are they on the list?

US launches official probe into Cruise after pair of pedestrian accidents

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Pint

Re:-“M&S”

The Dog and Duck surely?

Boris Johnson's mad hydrogen for homes bubble bursts

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Holmes

Whatever happened to HeatWayv?

They were supposed to be in production this year (manufacturing micro-wave boilers as a direct plugin for gas combis) but have disappeared from view.

Anyone?

British boffins say aircraft could fly on trash, cutting pollution debt by 80%

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Coat

Re:- “smelling and tasting like chips”

Yeah but…. what if they start using sewage waste?

Raspberry Pi 5: Hot takes and cooler mistakes

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Flame

Re: Many devices.

Yeah. Try a Drobo 800i.

One door opens, another one closes, and this one kills a mainframe

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Coat

Re: Kia Soul

I’m sorry @Wolf, we haven’t got one of those.

May I lend you a coat?

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Little hamsters on wheels.

Back in the late seventies I was working at a systems supplier that had a mid-range sort of machine in a glossy glass enclosed room that looked pretty slick from the outside.

On rare occasions one of the hard drive cabinets would see its disk power down for no apparent reason. As a mate pointed out, there was a reason. If you opened the front panel you could see that the rubber band had come off the disk gearing.

Power off, force rubber band back into place, power on and then run the job again.

TaxWatch finds astute scheme minimizes Big Tech's UK tax bill by over $2B

TimMaher Silver badge
Flame

Amazon “indirect taxes”

May I assume that they are using the old trope of “we pay through employment. We send in all of our employees income tax and NI money” as well as “ the VAT paid by our consumers”.

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