* Posts by TimMaher

1436 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Apr 2018

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CrowdStrike CEO summoned to explain epic fail to US Homeland Security committee

TimMaher Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: The horror.

“because there’s a conflict in every humancorporate heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil. And good does not always triumph”

Life, interrupted: How CrowdStrike's patch failure is messing up the world

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: Embedded

I remember ATMs using OS2. Agghhh!!!!

CrowdStrike shares sink as global IT outage savages systems worldwide

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Single global point of failure

Hang on @Eclectic… don’t forget your towel.

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: SPOF

And don’t forget the SPOK (Single Point Of Knowledge).

You know the one.

Phil, in the basement. Wearing a filthy T shirt and a mustard stained beard.

Surrounded by a pile of empty burger boxes and workstations, each with a minimum of two screens.

See right ——->

TimMaher Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Share price?

Pre-market price had fallen 20% several hours ago.

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: I don't mind people blaming Windows..

The flight plan thing was an incorrectly formed destination code that bombed the lot.

El Reg reported on it.

Badly designed and very frail software.

Second NHS IT system confirmed to be affected by CrowdStrike issues

TimMaher Silver badge
Pint

Re: PrintLn call

You forgot to close the call with a “)” … so that crashed.

Azure VMs ruined by CrowdStrike patchpocalypse? Microsoft has recovery tips

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: feline overlords

No, no! It’s not them. It’s the white mice.

Mines the one with the towel in the pocket.

Angry admins share the CrowdStrike outage experience

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Pigs.

We need a flying pig icon!

C’mon El Reg! Take the one in my pocket.

Dangerous sandwiches delayed hardware installation

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Home Office building in St James

Used to have a customer in Queen Anne’s Gate.

Car radio always went into crackly mode when driving through Broadway.

Similar event driving past the SPG HQ in Mortlake. They have thankfully been replaced by the not quite as nasty TSG.

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: erosionem linguam

Non illegitimi carborundum te.

Microsoft 365 remains 'degraded' as Azure outage resolved

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Share price.

Off 2.3% in pre- market a short while ago.

CrowdStrike off at least 20% and still falling.

CrowdStrike file update bricks Windows machines around the world

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Who Me?

This week we hear from a developer who we’ll Regomize as “Pillock”.

SpaceX hit by inflight Falcon 9 failure

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: Broadsword to Danny Boy

Me too.

My Lancaster is parked in next doors field.

Critical Windows licensing bugs – plus two others under attack – top Patch Tuesday

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: It never ends..

“Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow.”

I’d wipe them off but I am out of toilet paper.

Big Tech's eventual response to my LLM-crasher bug report was dire

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: Circumvention of Security Measures

They were programmed by an intern using AI to generate the code.

That’s why they work so well.

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Well free the prompt, then

Get it to read “Goedel, Escher, Bach.”

That might bring it to a stop.

ITER delays first plasma for world's biggest fusion power rig by a decade

TimMaher Silver badge
Alien

Re: Keane Reeves

Out with his brother Keanu?

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Alligators

They make the hamsters run faster.

An arc welder in the datacenter: What could possibly go wrong?

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Blame-shifting gone mad

Yeah because cows were looked after by the Anglo-Saxon serfs and beef was eaten by their Norman overlords.

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Blame-shifting gone mad

Don’t forget brazing.

American interest in electric vehicles short circuits for first time in four years

TimMaher Silver badge
Happy

Re: rocket surgery.

I used to say “It’s not rocket science. It’s not even domestic science!”

But now I prefer your version.

systemd 256.1: Now slightly less likely to delete /home

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Did anyone of us actually ask for systemd?

You didn’t mention Xenix.

Funnily enough, no one else has.

I wonder why?

Coding error in forgotten API blamed for massive data breach

TimMaher Silver badge
Holmes

Re: quantum of penalties

Nope. It’s a James Bond film.

Asda IT staff shuffled off to TCS amid messy tech divorce from Walmart

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Associated Dairies

That was their high point.

TimMaher Silver badge
Pint

Re: Correction

Beat me to it.

Have a beer!

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Scientific discipline.

Well, it’s definitely not an art.

Version 256 of systemd boasts '42% less Unix philosophy'

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

42%

Systemd .

It’s the answer to life, the universe and everything.

Mine has a towel in the pocket.

Study finds a quarter of bosses hoped RTO would make employees quit

TimMaher Silver badge
Pint

Re: “Sally’s “ birthday party.

Just there for ten minutes then?

Frontier Communications: 750k people's data stolen in April attack on systems

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: The cyber walrus and the cyber carpenter

“Will you pay the cyber sum?

But answer came there none—

And this was scarcely odd, because

They'd eaten every one."

Microsoft Research chief scientist has no issue with Windows Recall

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: Three piece suit.

Or even a three piece suite for their comfy sitting room.

OpenAI to buy electricity from CEO Sam Altman's nuclear fusion side hustle

TimMaher Silver badge
Mushroom

Fusion. It’s going to take seven…

“We can’t wait until next week!”

… million years.

Memphis to host 'Gigafactory of Compute' thanks to xAI and Elon Musk's billions

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Billion Dollar Brain

“You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!”.

Sorry, wrong film.

Meta faces multiple complaints in Europe over plans to train AI on user data

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Time to boycott the DPC.

And Meta of course.

“Are you a goblin?

No. I’ve just got a headache.”

Mines the green one.

BT chief blames regulations for UK lagging in next-gen network rollout

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Todays Independent.

“ Former BT boss secures £3.7m final pay despite profit drop

BT has revealed it handed former boss Philip Jansen a £3.7m final pay package despite the telecoms giant revealing lower profits and extending its cost-cutting efforts. Mr Jansen was replaced by Allison Kirkby as chief executive of BT at the end of January after five years leading the company. The firm’s latest annual report revealed that the former boss’s total pay deal jumped by 25.8 per cent to £3.72m for the financial year to 31 March.

The pay package came despite Mr Jansen receiving lower fixed pay – down to £1.11m from £1.32m a year earlier – after leaving the company 10 months into the financial year. This included a £917,000 salary, as well as his pension allowance and benefits, which included £79,000 on the cost of a car and personal driver.”

Just sayin’.

'Building AI co-workers going to be largest opportunity of tech in our lifetime'

TimMaher Silver badge
Headmaster

On this day in 1960…

…Profumo resigned.

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: walk my dogs.

Boston Dynamics shirley?

Raspberry Pi unveils Hailo-powered AI Kit to make the model 5 smarter

TimMaher Silver badge
Facepalm

Please fix the fan.

My 5 has the standard case in black and it whinges every few seconds, even when doing nothing.

I sometimes give it a shake or press down on the lid, which works from time to time.

Anyone recommend a different case?

Otherwise I shall have to leave Radio 2 on all the time.

Graveyards a favorite haunt for solar farms in Valencia

TimMaher Silver badge
Terminator

But, but…

… will no one think of the zombies?

What happens if they get all powered up?

Oh, wait… it’s nighttime.

ASUS creates a substance: Ceraluminum, which fuses aluminum and a ceramic

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: WTF

Did they write that on their website?

Google finally addresses those bizarre AI search results

TimMaher Silver badge

Re: Anonymous

Shouldn’t you have posted that as AC @joker?

Thanks for coming to help. No, we can't say why we called – it's classified

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re:”whenever you push one”

A sign lights up saying “Do not push that button again”

'Little weirdo' shoulder surfer teaches UK cabinet minister a lesson in cybersecurity

TimMaher Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: A keyboard with a single key

That’s it!

That’s the answer to all support problems.

UK PM Sunak calls election, leaving Brits cringing over memory of his Musk love-in

TimMaher Silver badge
Gimp

Re: That horse is dead

If I am a bestial, necrophiliac, flagellant… am I flogging a dead horse?

Raspberry Pi sets IPO jam for June

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Re: “Goodbye, Raspberry Pi!”

Wasn’t that a big hit in the seventies?

CIO who dropped VMware 18 months ago now feeling thoroughly chuffed

TimMaher Silver badge
Alert

Re: Broadcom

Perhaps they should be called “Broadcon”?

Stifling Beijing in cyberspace is now British intelligence’s number-one mission

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Apart from Westminster.

It has no sodding government at all.

Just a bunch of…. Oh, never mind.

Tax helpline callers left on hold for nearly eight centuries

TimMaher Silver badge
Windows

Group seat 101

De-registration officer tells HQ that VAT registered, sole trader, is dead. They will be de-registered.

Two weeks later HQ send a note over asking “is there any further news on trader?”.

Officer replies “trader still dead”.

That’s a true story.

HR expert says biz leaders scared RTO mandates lead to staff attrition

TimMaher Silver badge
Coat

Re: Fellatio

I thought Fellatio was a character in Hamlet, until I discovered Smirnoff.

There are more like that.

I’ll get my.coat…

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