* Posts by TimMaher

262 posts • joined 7 Apr 2018

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First alligators, then dogs, now Basil Fawlty is trying to standardise social distancing measures

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Thumb Up

Re: My preferred measuring device

Well, you could just about throw a halberd but you’d get that springy, bouncy effect when the butt hit the ground and it might topple over and hurt somebody.

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Pint

Re: Ministry of...

Two yards really.

Much better.

Nominet shakes up system for expiring .uk domains, just happens to choose one that will make it £millions. Again

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Flame

ICANN...Therefore I will

Is Nominet now registered in Delaware?

Wholly owned subsidiary of Ethos perhaps?

Apple was the only Fortune 50 company to foresee COVID-19 pandemic risk and properly insure against it – Forrester

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Re: Will any of this affect house prices

Might do if you live in Tenerife or Yellowstone. Or Leicester for that matter.

Forget about Wipro chairman saying no one would lose their job due to COVID-19: UK staff told they're facing redundancy

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Unhappy

Never knowingly sold out

Good luck to those John Lewis “partners” going through the TUPE then.

FYI Russia is totally hacking the West's labs in search of COVID-19 vaccine files, say UK, US, Canada cyber-spies

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Re: Difference in response

... and North Korea?

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Re: Difference in response

“Flows off the tongue”... like spit?

Upvote for that one.

UK smacks Huawei with banhammer: Buying firm's 5G gear illegal from year's end, mobile networks ordered to rip out all next-gen kit by 2027

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I’m not sure that you are really following this one @Fursty.

No one has said we can’t buy their phones and I think their consumer goods division is quite separate from their infrastructure makers so this is probably not about Apple (unless BT are now installing Airports in their cabs).

However, it very definitely is about Hong Kong, irrespective of any influence being wielded by the Orang One.

This is a political dispute now and we should ban all of their kit. IMHO.

Linus Torvalds banishes masters, slaves and blacklists from the Linux kernel, starting now

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Big Brother

May I add “Brave New World” to the list?

I have always wanted to visit the bottom of the Charing T under-tower.

An email banning our staff from using TikTok? Haha, funny story about that, we didn't mean it – Amazon

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Trollface

Re: Absolutely terrible!

Upvote for that @Stryker.

You could let the votes run to 66, which becomes 42 in hex.

UN warns of global e-waste wave as amount of gadgets dumped jumps 21% in 5 years

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Re: The UK's solution - drastic but works

Nice one @Mark.

Have you been reading “The Cockroach” by any chance?

Euro police forces infiltrated encrypted phone biz – and now 'criminal' EncroChat users are being rounded up

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Trollface

Re: Honey pot

While stroking a fluffy white cat.

“Look, you can see it all on TV”.

Not the Wright stuff: Bitcoin 'inventor' loses bid to sue YouTuber who called him a liar

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Re: Judges names

Wow @Roger I do remember that!

Upvote.

Which publication used “Sue, Grabbit & Runne. Solicitors and Commissioners for Oaths.”?

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Childcatcher

Judges names

UK judges always seem to have fantastic names.

Dingemans, Flaux & Popplewell. A law practice in an unpublished Harry Potter story perhaps?

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

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Mushroom

Re: Unhearing government

Ever tried reporting a phishing site to NCSC?

Totally impossible and they don’t reply when asked how, exactly, to achieve it.

I won’t bore you with the details.

Fume, rant!

Building society caught in middle of high street sharing a little too much on TeamViewer

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Happy

Re: Inexcusable

Anyone remember the Cadbury advert with a gorilla as Phil Collins?

Brilliant!

Black horse down: UK banking giant Lloyds suffers an online wobble

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Facepalm

Some of our customers...

As usual.

Don’t their PR people ever read news stories?

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters

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Re: Bit extreme

Too late @pogul, they’ve sold it.

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Re: This Is About As Shocking As The News That Bears Shit In The Woods.

You must be old. You have specifications, designs and testing plans?

Are you not aware of agile?

Airline-chasing lawyers leap on Easyjet for £18bn after 9m folks' data, itineraries nicked

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Angel

Better call Saul. NETS

Nothing else to say.

It’s fun to invent acronyms.

Help your fellow IT pals spruce up their virtual meetings: Design a winning background, win Register-branded gear

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Facepalm

Re: I've arrived!

I’ll upvote that.

Maybe we could do a pic. of a troll with a vulture standing on it’s head... and pecking it’s eyes out?

Mind your language: Microsoft set to swing the axe on 27 languages in iOS Outlook

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Re: Apple is going to write off all ...

A quick check on my iPad says that Irish (Gaelic) and Urdu are available. So this looks like an M$ thing.

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Facepalm

Thank dog it’s iOS

Changing device level I18n just so that some fanbois can use an M$ maily type app may not go down too well.

Even corporate users might not look too kindly on this.

How many corporate users have Apple kit anyway?

Beer rating app reveals homes and identities of spies and military bods, warns Bellingcat

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Thumb Up

Re: need for tech?

Plus you get to spend time in a pub and you can charge it all to your department/handler.

You can't have it both ways: Anti-coronavirus masks may thwart our creepy face-recog cameras, London cops admit

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Big Brother

More seriously .

I see that Sony have unveiled their IMX500 and 501 image processors with built in AI.

Yet more kit for the roz. to get their mitts on to undermine what preciously few bits of privacy that we still possess.

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Coat

Is it too late....

... for me to extol the values of pixelated face masks?

I find I tend to do this every few months when commenting on El Reg.

Mine is the one with a face mask, some gloves and a pair of sunglasses in the pockets.

Total Eclipse to depart: Open-source software foundation is hopping the pond to Europe

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Re: A long time coming

It’s nothing to do with June.

She doesn’t even understand i18n or L10n.

Nine million logs of Brits' road journeys spill onto the internet from password-less number-plate camera dashboard

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Angel

Re: Never ascribe to mailce ...

That single line exists.

It goes “// TODO Add hashing of plates. Check at next scrum; what size salt should I use?”

ICANN delays .org sell off after California's attorney general intervenes at last minute, tears non-profit a new one over sale

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Coat

Sorry!

My thumb did a downvote without my permission.

I blame a small tablet keyboard.

Vodafone chief speaks out after 5G conspiracy nuts torch phone mast serving Nightingale Hospital in Brum

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Re: Viruses are tiny, microscopic, organic entities.

Let’s hope they can’t replicate themselves at the same speed.

UK MPs fume after Huawei posts open letter stating: 'Disrupting our involvement in the 5G rollout would do Britain a disservice'

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Happy

Re: What short memories.

The reason hat HMG inspected Hawaii code was just so they could go surfing and wear oddly shaped, luridly printed, shorts.

RAND report finds that, like fusion power and Half Life 3, quantum computing is still 15 years away

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Nice one @bb.

Upvote for that.

Now, click on every square thar contains a mushroom cloud.

OK brainiacs, we've got an IT cold case for you: Fatal disk errors on an Amiga 4000 with 600MB external SCSI unless the clock app is... just so

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Coat

A clock up what?

Did I misread that?

I’ll get your coat. It’s right next to mine.

Capita inks deal with NHS to 'bring back staff': Workers get an hour of training to recruit and vet retired doctors, nurses

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Re: Training problem?

I imagined it was Dr. “X” from South Africa.

From Amanda Holden to petrol-filled water guns: It has been a weird week for 5G

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Facepalm

Re: Nut jobs

Hence the old joke “Get off me uncle dad. You’re crushin’ ma smokes.” Spoken in a deeply rural accent.

Let’s hope the roz nick the arsonists and put them in a cell with somebody harbouring a nasty cough.

Absolutely everyone loves video conferencing these days. Some perhaps a bit too much

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Happy

Re: Paris...

You must be talking about the grockles then my loverly?

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Unhappy

Re: During my time in front line IT support I've seen things

And Rutger Hauer died recently.

Naughty AC.

Amazon says it fired a guy for breaking pandemic rules. Same guy who organized a staff protest over a lack of coronavirus protection

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Re: Unions

And “The Lawnmower Man”.

Hang on...

I have to answer the phone.

Tech won't save you from lockdown disaster: How to manage family and free time while working from home

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Paris Hilton

Three fingered salute.

Why has the woman in the picture only got three fingers?

Thought you'd go online to buy better laptop for home working? Too bad, UK. So did everyone. Laptops, monitors and WLANs fly off shelves

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Coat

Re: far more consistent than English is...

And don’t forget Cholmondeley.

My coat is the Aquascrotum with the hand wash and gloves in the pocket.

Borklays soz for the ailing ATMs but won't say if fix involved a Microsoft invoice

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Upvote for that @alister.

Perhaps if something were LOOSE you might LOSE it?

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

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Coat

Re: Greasy kebabs + cotton money = animal traces everywhere!

I think it shows another way to spread Covid-19.

I'll get my coat. It's the one with the face mask and sanitiser in the pocket... alongside the surgical gloves.

You've put up with us banging on about IT for years. Now it's your turn. Grab a mic and join us on The Register's podcast

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Windows

Elderly

Will we be welcome?

The elderly I mean.

Those who may have a comment but rather as amicus curiae?

Alleged Vault 7 leaker trial finale: Want to know the CIA's password for its top-secret hacking tools? 123ABCdef

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Re: Cell phones in prison

Also in the UK.

Ask anyone from Serco, G4S, etc.

Uncle Sam's nuke-stockpile-simulating souped-super El Capitan set to hit TWO exa-FLOPS, take crown as world's fastest machine in 2023

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Coat

Mac Pro.

My early 2008 Mac Pro runs El Capitan.

And it runs Mojave guests in VMWare Fusion (very slowly), even though it cannot run Mojave or High Sierra itself.

So what have they achieved?

I’ll get my coat. It’s the one made from graphene. (See different thread)

After 16 years of hype, graphene finally delivers on its promise – with a cosmetic face mask

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Happy

Re: Graphene Soles

Yup.

Recommended by the Independent this Tuesday just gone.

Also, I invested in two graphene using companies when it first became well known.

On AIM some years ago now.

One of them was blindingly successful and got bought out within a year or two, over 100% gain, thanks very much.

The second, doing oil filtration products in SE Asia, has been in my dog basket for just about as long.

Ah well!

Maersk prepares to lay off the Maidenhead staffers who rescued it from NotPetya super-pwnage

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Re: I cant tell from the article and job advert if....

Sorry @phuzz, I missed that. What was that “B” word again?

Your phone wakes up. Its assistant starts reading out your text messages. To everyone around. You panic. How? Ultrasonic waves

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Facepalm

What’s in a name?

“SurfingAttack”? They could have called it PhoneWhisperer or something.

And using Lyrebird to get the simulation going. I mean, that should always have been called Liarbird.

Kiddies today. No sense of satire.

The Wristwatch of the Long Now: When your MTBF is two centuries

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Happy

Re: Beware survival bias

I have a Kenwood Chef that is no more than a decade old. It has all of those features.

And I can still source spare parts.

Ofcom measured UK's 5G radiation and found that, no, it won't give you cancer

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Coat

Better call Saul

I seem to be the first to mention this.

5G might be a problem in a steep turn, dive or climb.

I’ll get my tinfoil hat. It’s in the pocket of my reflective coat.

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