* Posts by Ken Shabby

234 posts • joined 7 Apr 2018

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Three middle-aged Dutch hackers slipped into Donald Trump's Twitter account days before 2016 US election

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Re: Need better pseudonyms

Hunt, Lunt and Cunnigham

Classy move: C++ 20 wins final approval in ISO technical ballot, formal publication expected by end of year

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Headmaster

Re: Three-way comparison - long overdue

FORTRAN Arithmetic IF, from the late 1950's

IF (expression) negative,zero,positive

Techie studied ancient ways of iSeries machine, saved day when user unleashed eldritch powers, got £50 gift voucher

Ken Shabby Bronze badge

or "if you must do, with his"

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

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Re: KFC or what?

Well, you do get a greasy box as well.

A bridge too far: Passengers on Sydney's new ferries would get 'their heads knocked off' on upper deck, say politicos

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Thumb Up

Re: They could

The solution, move all the bridges on the Parramatta river to Arizona.

Snortical warfare: Wild boar launches amphibious assault against German beachgoers

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It was a rash decision.

No, boss, I'm not playing Minecraft. Minecraft is where I run VMs on the desktop now

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Mushroom

Re: From a bloke currently

What' s that barns or outhouses?

Someone made an AI that predicted gender from email addresses, usernames. It went about as well as expected

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Re: Artificial Idiocy

It's those bricks giving them a bad press.again.

Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history

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Alert

Re: Cow boxes

Basically, a cash cow

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

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“Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.” – John Wayne

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

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Gimp

Re: Puntastic

Don't you lot have Ohms to go to?

Shopped recently in a small online store? Check this list to see if it was one of 570 websites infected with card-skimming Magecart

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Unhappy

bikes.com took me for a ride!

Cereal Killer Cafe enters hipster heaven, heads online: Coronavirus blamed for shutters being pulled down

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Pint

Re: released a cookbook, etc

Beerios?

Microsoft has a cure for data nuked by fat fingers if you're not afraid of the command line

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Pint

Re: Looks blurry as hell.

Time to enjoy a case of "Priority Inversion"

Apple said to be removing charger, headphones from upcoming iPhone 12 series

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Childcatcher

I would give both of my testicles for a new AUDI

Now that's a train delay Upminster with which London travellers shall not put

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Flame

Oooh me Chalfonts.

Beware the fresh Windows XP install: Failure awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

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Oh crap: UK's digital overlords moot new rules to help telcos lay fibre in sewer pipes

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Linux

Re: Fiber in sewer pipes

EWOULDBLOCK

Guess who came thiiis close to signing off a €102k annual budget? Austria. Someone omitted 'figures in millions'

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Holmes

0.1 Stetsons.

Runaway Latvian drone found meditating in tree after shutting down nation's skies

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Re: Great

Who wood believe it?

Beer gut-ted: As many as '70 million pints' spoiled during coronavirus pandemic must be destroyed in Britain

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Pint

Re: Its hitting Australia too!!

Good to see El Reg standards are in use down under

"The amount to be emptied is equal to 7.8m pints, 10.5m schooners, 11.8m stubbies, or 1.8 Olympic swimming pools".

A stubbie and schooner are approx 0.75 and 0.85 grapefruits respectively.

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

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Trollface

Re: Yes the users are bad

Now I get this error "Something went wrong..."

As Brit cyber-spies drop 'whitelist' and 'blacklist', tech boss says: If you’re thinking about getting in touch saying this is political correctness gone mad, don’t bother

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Unhappy

Nor will my elephant.

Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style

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Boffin

Re: Sales

Other command line editors are available

set -o emacs

Ah, thats better...

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

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Happy

Perhaps they will appreciate this revolutionary design feature.

Cloudflare goes retro with COBOL delivery service. Older coders: Who's laughing now? Turns out we're still vital

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Linux

Re: Fun with COBOL

I was al right with it until i found is lacked a

COME FROM or COMEFROM

Statement

You in for a curl up and dye? Yeah, looks like the same for this screen in a hairdressers

Ken Shabby Bronze badge
Facepalm

They took a shortcut?

Lobsters given seats on coronavirus rescue flights... although they're probably not in a rush for a boiling bath

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Linux

Re: We need a proper name for this enterprise to capture the public imagination!

Make sure it is something catchy!

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

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Paris Hilton

Re: "...At this point I ran out of magnets."

Must have been very attractive.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, health secretary Matt Hancock both test positive for COVID-19 coronavirus

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Black Helicopters

Re: Incoming!

If Chuck Norris gets it, the virus will have to be quarantined for two weeks!

Netflix starts 30-day video data diet at EU's request to ensure network availability during coronavirus crisis

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Windows

Re: Money back

How about a swipe card?

HPE celebrated diversity on International Women's Day not with pictures of its own staff but stock images of models

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Childcatcher

Re: Snigger snigger...

I have a friend called Airbags...

Sennheiser Momentum True Wireless 2 earbuds: They're good – though for close to £300, they really should be

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Facepalm

Re: Waxy build-up

If feeling brave, have a massage and afterwards ask for the "wax job"

Firefox 74 slams Facebook in solitary confinement: Browser add-on stops social network stalking users across the web

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Joke

Re: pets

That'll teach 'em.

Microsoft throws a bone to those unable to leave the past behind: .NET 5 support on the way for Visual Basic

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Headmaster

Sometimes; semi-colon is not end of statement, for Pascal it is statement separator.

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

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Devil

Re: Vax keeps sucking

... chunks

Hello, support? What do I click if I want some cash?

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Pint

I saw deep fried meat pie on the menu in West Lothian, tempting after a few of these ---->

Uber takes a downer as ride-sharing app service crashes

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Alert

Re: Uber's cut?

Portland Cement?

After 16 years of hype, graphene finally delivers on its promise – with a cosmetic face mask

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Trollface

Re: has not said quite how its cosmetic face masks will benefit from graphene

Copper Niton

Australia down for scheduled maintenance: No talking to Voyager 2 for 11 months

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Re: The Dish

That would be Parkes radio telescope.

About Parkes radio telescope

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Holmes

Re: planes going overhead

I remember in the 90's landing at Hobart "International" Airport and inquiring as to where the destinations were.

"New Zealand" came the reply. Fair enough, but not any more, apparently.

What's inside a tech freelancer's backpack? That's right, EVERYTHING

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Linux

Re: unpacking order...

For that you need a nail.

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

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Holmes

Re: NT NEWS

You have to take their stories with giant pinch of Saltie.

'I give fusion power a higher chance of succeeding than quantum computing' says the R in the RSA crypto-algorithm

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Re: Ah, but which element?

Bureaucratium. The only element with a negative half life.

EU court tells prudish IP office to fack off for balking at 'fack ju' trademark application

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Re: King of Fuh

Ask these guys for some hot noodles.

"Fu King Chinese Restaurant"

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

Ken Shabby Bronze badge

Re: Since when did a hedgerow need gigabit broadband?

I presume you have some damming evidence

Galileo got it wrong – official: Jupiter actually wet, not super-dry: 'No one would have guessed that water might be so variable across the planet'

Ken Shabby Bronze badge

Re: Dodgy analogy

They found the wet patch?

London's Metropolitan Police flip the switch: Smile, fellow citizens... you're undergoing Live Facial Recognition

Ken Shabby Bronze badge

Re: That's not my picture

It's a fair cop, but society's to blame.

Ofcom measured UK's 5G radiation and found that, no, it won't give you cancer

Ken Shabby Bronze badge

A gayhound?

Researchers trick Tesla into massively breaking the speed limit by sticking a 2-inch piece of electrical tape on a sign

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Stop

Re: Tesla racing?

Or "-"

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